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Just some words

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#1 Posted on:
Thu, 05/10/2017 - 17:46

Riverboathal

Joined:
2015-12-21

Feeling down in the dumps again with myself and how I am handling this, iv always known I have a problem with gambling and haven’t made any effort in the last couple of years to really do anything about it, just shrug off a couple hundred quid loss go back the next day and do it all again, the lies to my loved ones as to why I’m always skint, the small amount of debt that hasn’t been cleared because I haven’t tried properly to sort myself out. I am not a complete waste of space and have some money saved for my future with my fiancé but if it wasn’t for her then I’d be blowing it all away. I want to start my journey again with a fresh slate and prove to myself that I am capable of beating my own impulsive behaviour, I want to be able to treat my closest friends and family the way I have always dreamed of. Today is a bad day, tomorrow will be a gamble free one.

Posted on:
Fri, 06/10/2017 - 22:39

Riverboathal

Joined:
2015-12-21

First day down easy. Worried about what will happen on pay day when I have money again. It’s sad that I’d rather not have money than have it and lose it.

Posted on:
Sun, 08/10/2017 - 14:32

Riverboathal

Joined:
2015-12-21

Day 2 over with went to the pub with some mates and managed to stay away from the fruitys and just drink lemonade although the temptations were there, bought myself a few games today to keep me occupied during the week and to stop me going out. Trying not to just think about stopping gambling but changing my lifestyle as a whole. Going well so far well done me!

Posted on:
Sun, 08/10/2017 - 21:28

Riverboathal

Joined:
2015-12-21

Day 3 completed lovely chilled day with family. I find writing on here helpful iv had no real urges either wich is strange I went from gambling small amounts nearly every day to having a big blow out once a month or so, just need to keep posting on here so that when pay day comes I am ready to not throw it all away!

Posted on:
Mon, 09/10/2017 - 08:19

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Hi Al

Thats it stay focused on not gambling and once the days rack up you will notice that you will become yourself again. Remember you really have to want to stop. Compulsive Gambling creeps up on you without you really noticing and as you get more and more addicted you become a magician and covering your tracks, you work out how to be decietful, gambling is your new friend and it will promise you riches on your next deposit, well the next one, or definately this £500 deposit will lead to all your money back plus a little extra for yourself, and then we all know how the story goes. Keep it up Al you can do it.

Posted on:
Mon, 09/10/2017 - 20:15

Riverboathal

Joined:
2015-12-21

Thankyou smashed, had some prettt strong temptations today to go into a shop that I am banned from and try and get in because a new person works there, how sad! Managed to brush it off because the little money I do have needs to last me the month, I spoke on chat tonight and have decided to speak to my mum about handing over my finances and see what she thinks! Positive steps need to be taken and taken seriously before pay day or I could easily see myself back in the cycle. As for now it’s 4 days gamble free.

Posted on:
Tue, 10/10/2017 - 20:15

Riverboathal

Joined:
2015-12-21

Day 5 completed been looking at videos of roulette on YouTube and watching people lose and the emotions they are going through and reminding myself how badly I don’t want to be that person, I spoke to my mum today and talked about handing over any extra cash each month so she can keep an eye on what I’m spending . Feeling good.

Posted on:
Tue, 10/10/2017 - 22:16

ste_ven

Joined:
2012-05-11

Be very careful with the YouTube videos... for me watching anything like that was a tell tale sign that gambling was on my subconscious agenda and it was only a matter of time before I was at it again.

It may be different for you but I'm only calling out a potential pitfall.

Handing finances over is a great idea, good on you for having the strength to do that, it is not an easy thing to do. 

Posted on:
Wed, 11/10/2017 - 10:06

Riverboathal

Joined:
2015-12-21

I know what you mean mate after watching a few I had the thought of going down and making a bet but it’s really not worth it anymore, no amount of money will be enough and what’s the point in playing if your never going to win. Will steer clear of the videos I think. Cheers!

Posted on:
Thu, 12/10/2017 - 23:11

Riverboathal

Joined:
2015-12-21

1 week gamble free today it will be 3 weeks gamble free before pay day and that will be when the real test starts, I feel like iv put in good barriers to stop myself when I feel like I want to gamble I can do this! 

Posted on:
Fri, 13/10/2017 - 19:39

ste_ven

Joined:
2012-05-11

You can and will do this, the forum is a great place to keep in touch with - have you thought about popping into the chat room sometime if you haven't already?

Good move on the videos I think, the way our minds think there's no sense in testing ourselves that way... plenty other videos to choose from!

Stay safe and GF mate.

Posted on:
Fri, 13/10/2017 - 20:09

Riverboathal

Joined:
2015-12-21

Cheers ste I think the videos were out of boredom more than wanting to gamble to be fair, I have been in the chat before a couple of times and got the idea to hand over any spare money to my mum wich what was I plan to do when pay day comes. 

Posted on:
Fri, 13/10/2017 - 21:00

ste_ven

Joined:
2012-05-11

Hi River

Chat is full of good people who will willingly share their past experiences and advice, I try to pop in once a week now minimum or if I have a stronger urge I post on my diary.

Hope all is going as well as it can, stay safe and GF.

Posted on:
Sat, 14/10/2017 - 23:38

Riverboathal

Joined:
2015-12-21

Quite dissapointed in myself today I did have a small acca on today’s football, however I am not going to beat myself up over it as I had urges to go back and gamble more money but didn’t do it.

Posted on:
Sat, 14/10/2017 - 23:56

Muststop123

Joined:
2017-10-03

Not good but at least you managed to stop yourself before you gambled more so that is a positive.

Can you put any blocks in place to stop you if you get the urge again? 

Tomorrow is day 1 again. Keep strong and fight it.