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Posted on:
Sun, 10/12/2017 - 20:41

Christer1

Joined:
2016-02-29

I've put my blocks I can put in plus can't wait for these multi ğonline multi service to start

Posted on:
Sun, 10/12/2017 - 20:51

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Christer1 wrote:
I've put my blocks I can put in plus can't wait for these multi ğonline multi service to start
Yes the sooner the better as far as the multi online service is concerned, will be a benifit to me and others.

Posted on:
Sun, 10/12/2017 - 22:30

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Keep positive chartom3. Don’t let one set back spoil your progress and gamble free journey. Re-setting your days count is annoying, but it doesn’t take away the knowledge and understanding of your gambling problem that you’ve been learning more and more about whilst previously abstaining. You get to know your problem better as time progresses and just resetting your days count can’t undo that. Keep strong and believe in yourself. Stay close to the site and post regularly. We are all here supporting each other.

Thanks to Mixer for the brilliant weekly roll call. Always a pleasure to read and get a mention and much appreciated. 

Posted on:
Sun, 10/12/2017 - 23:37

Norland27

Joined:
2017-12-07

As long as your making reasonable progress in reasonable time, don’t be afraid to fail as long as you pick yourself up and and start again. Fail your way to success, it’s how we succeed at most things in life.

 

Posted on:
Mon, 11/12/2017 - 02:17

antics

Joined:
2017-07-30

checking in late, my apologies, but still GF. Respect to those who've relapsed for stepping back up to the challenge with integrity and honesty. it isn't an easy post to make after you've stacked up a decent amount of days and toppled them down in a moment of weakness - but we all understand and are all rebuilding.

Posted on:
Mon, 11/12/2017 - 10:37

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

boxingdayfresh wrote:
Thanks boxingdayfresh for your kind words,  the help & encouragement of my gamcare friends is one of if not the main reason i have been able to abstain for long periods in the past. I wish you well on your own journey, you are doing great keep up the good work.

Keep positive chartom3. Don’t let one set back spoil your progress and gamble free journey. Re-setting your days count is annoying, but it doesn’t take away the knowledge and understanding of your gambling problem that you’ve been learning more and more about whilst previously abstaining. You get to know your problem better as time progresses and just resetting your days count can’t undo that. Keep strong and believe in yourself. Stay close to the site and post regularly. We are all here supporting each other.

Thanks to Mixer for the brilliant weekly roll call. Always a pleasure to read and get a mention and much appreciated. 

Posted on:
Mon, 11/12/2017 - 15:23

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Moorey - thank you for your kind comments, although I'm more relieved, in truth, that you are not about to buckle! You've hit Day 50 - that glass of red very well deserved. And make sure it's not 'plonk' either. Get a decent bottle (my upper limit's no more than £6-£7, in fact here's a recommendation --> https://www.aldi.co.uk/ghost-vines-californian-zinfandel/p/078271170265400 :)

Chartom1 - delighted you've blocked the loophole. Life's about getting up again; and getting up stronger! You know, can sense, how much we're picking you up and willing you back on the good path.

Christer1 - yep, the multi-blocking service will help us. Meantime, though, no excuses... we must take responsiblity for our actions, as we well know! And let's say the roll-out of this new servcie is delayed; it'll be disappointing, for sure, but no excuse. We must always ensure our coping mechanisms do not give us an 'out' where we find an excuse to gamble. Life's tough enough, and, conversely, good enough for us not to bother with wasteful pursuits.

Boxingday - thanks again for further kind words. With great advice to Chartom too! As you say, the 'count' goes back to 1, but previous performance is noted. None of us go back to 'Square One' unless we give up, and we're not giving up.

Norland27 - I echo those thoughts exactly. And a phrase/approach I'd not heard before: fail your way to success.  

Antics - thank you for checking in. And you're right, it does take a certain strength of character to step up and say that you've relapsed. I always have respect for anyone who does this; it's easy to 'run and hide' or paint a false picture. (I 'ran and hid' after my last relapse; I won't do that again. As Norland said: fail your way to success. Get stronger as we go.)

We're a good group, friends. We get this. So let's keep going: together, with the bonding spirit we have. This is an oasis, a place outside the rough and tumble of life - a place of contemplation, sharing, learning, and topping up our resolve when we feel weak.

We're serious, but also positive, because we know we should live a better life, know we can, and are doing something about it.

Mixer

Posted on:
Mon, 11/12/2017 - 20:48

marson_123

Joined:
2017-11-02

Hi Mixer,

Checking in late im afraid but on day 43. Thank you for the roll call and truly your words have touched me. Im in a bad place at the moment but i can quite happily say no matter how bad that place is it will not be a gambling place. If anything i feel more empowered to ensure i remain gamble free now. My main concern was managing my own finances but i have a plan and i can see light at the end of that plan, and gambling will only stray me away from that. This challenge and this site are a real life line on the bad days. Once again mixer thank you for your time and effort this means a lot to me and im sure others feel exactly the same.

Posted on:
Mon, 11/12/2017 - 21:17

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

Hi mixer, yes ive stumbled again, I lasted six days till yesterday, was going super well and then Saturday Saturday night the urges weresuper strong and I made plans for the next day to gamblei felt reliefe then played the next day and felt gutted afterwards. So I'm back on day one. On a plus note I didn't play fruit machine yesterday I was tempted but walked out just played the poker. So one day at a time for now I've managed to not gamble today and not go to the pub, small steps at first ey. So today for me is day one

Posted on:
Mon, 11/12/2017 - 23:24

4D

Joined:
2010-02-10

Sorry I missed the check in yesterday, I was having fun in the snow and totally forgot!! 96 days ago I would not have believed it was possible to 'forget' gambling even for 1 day!!! To anyone struggling please keep going it WILL be worth it. Do whatever it takes, change your routine, change your stresses, try all avenues of recovery and get those blocks in place before u can have 2nd thoughts!! X

Posted on:
Tue, 12/12/2017 - 08:50

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

Checking in on Day 51

Posted on:
Wed, 13/12/2017 - 07:06

Christer1

Joined:
2016-02-29

Check in day 46 feeling gd

Posted on:
Thu, 14/12/2017 - 00:31

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

Checking in on Day 53

Posted on:
Thu, 14/12/2017 - 22:20

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Checking in 5 weeks

Posted on:
Fri, 15/12/2017 - 09:45

rubybaby123

Joined:
2017-07-31

Checking in 140 days gf x

Posted on:
Sat, 16/12/2017 - 09:46

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Checking in on day 76.

Feeling a few urges to go to the bingo - but staying well clear and using distraction techniques. In the past, going back to the bingo and then slots has been my downfall. Often starts with small manageable losses but leads to the big bucks and thousands wasted. Not falling into the same trap again this time. Staying strong for myself, my family and our future. 

Posted on:
Sat, 16/12/2017 - 09:59

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

Checking in on Day 55

Posted on:
Sat, 16/12/2017 - 10:11

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Checking in on 7 days gamble free ....

Posted on:
Sat, 16/12/2017 - 20:22

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hi Mixer and all the Guru Challengers. Hope everyone's having a good gamble free weekend. Abstainer checking in 30 days gf.

Keeping on the recovery road is sometimes really tough but it can be done if we have positive intent. If we use a bit of common sense than it might be even more achievable.

My dream is to do 300 days gamble free (Guru). I imagine the urges to gamble will still be around but I will find that out when I get there. 

Hope we can all go forward shoulder to shoulder and see what else is out there. We might be pleasantly surprised. Whatever we do has got to be better than that gambling madness.

Posted on:
Sun, 17/12/2017 - 09:29

changemylife

Joined:
2016-11-02

Hi Mixer. I hope you are well. I'm checking in on 415 days GF. Moving forward one day at a time.

Posted on:
Sun, 17/12/2017 - 16:23

paulll

Joined:
2009-10-16

74 days GF here. I’ve not had much to say on my diary this week, but have tried to help and encourage others when possible. 

Posted on:
Sun, 17/12/2017 - 19:11

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

198 GF DAYS BABY !!! Let’ fudging goooooooo yessssirrr!

Posted on:
Sun, 17/12/2017 - 20:47

Raj

Joined:
2017-07-05

Hi Guys..still Gambling free..really busy at work and gotten into exercise big time..though had a few cans recently and some brandy shots! -:) its tat time of the year..watching Santa Claus o ITV+1..merry Xmas everyone,.stay strong and be gamble free..

Posted on:
Sun, 17/12/2017 - 21:14

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

** GURU CHALLENGE -  Latest WEEKLY ROLLCALL!  ***

It's Sunday, 17th December.

 

Here we are once again, everyone, and I hope you’ve had a good week. I’ve learned a few things, I have to say, and would like to share them with you.

If you’re gambling ‘poison’ is fruit machines or FOBTs, then this will be of interest. You may be aware that professional fruit machine players know ‘tricks’ to get an edge on regular players, meaning regular players have even less of a change of winning at even more miserly odds. They do this by taking potential advantage of ‘flaws’ (often deliberate) that might be added by the programmers, which, allied with poor (or collaborative) internal testers, means certain trusted players could take advantage of this information and cash in. It’s another reason not to gamble: not only are you fighting poor odds anyway, but poorer odds still with tricksters taking their cut! So don’t be the mug punter.

FOBTs are another interesting area. Again, those with compensated games are susceptible to the same ‘flaws, but even ‘random’ games (B2) such as Roulette aren’t as random as they seem. But surely they are, right? Well, they’re not. If a given machine hasn't played out it’s required percentage after a given period/very large number of spins, then the machine (which usually ‘underpays’ up to this point) has to ‘make up’ the difference and go into happy mode. Professional players, allied with insider info from those with database access, could potentially pinpoint these happy machines. To the detriment of regular players, of course, playing machines set below the required return. If you’re not in the know, you’re the mug punter!

Just to underline the true odds against any ‘Joe Public’ punter, there are additional tricks that further worsen the odds. Coin mechanisms, such as the new ones put in place to calibrate the new one pound coin, are still in beta test (albeit out there en masse!). Sometimes, they have faults (i.e. the machine records more money input than is actually put through the 'mech') that could detriment the balance of the game for the casual punter ... those in the know, know if this is true ... ;)

Why am I giving you this detail? To basically say – if your weakness is fruit machines and FOBTs, here’s yet another reason NOT to gamble, and keep your money in your pocket, and keep your sanity as you continue the only game in town – keeping gambling free.

My view is that part of a good gambling free strategy includes learning about our condition, and I hope the information I’ve provided crystalises what we probably knew anyway, and, at a high level, ‘joins the dots’. We're not just fighting poor odds by gambling, but ulterior, exterior forces that considerably worsen them still!

Ok. Let’s move on and see how we’re all doing this week.

  • Are you RESTED? Have you disappeared from the forums for a few weeks; if so, you are taken off the Challenge. We wish you luck! 
  • Are you RELAPSING? It happens, but you’ve been honest enough to admit it. Make sure you’re putting in place extra steps right now … else it will happen again and you’ll get nowhere.
  • Or are you ROCKING? Still gambling free? Superb… keep living the life you should; not misery!
  • Or have you RETURNED? It's always great to welcome you back.

ROLLCALL OF HONOUR

4D – 102 – ROCKING! Welcome to the rank of ELDER and delighted to have you aboard. You’ve really stuck with this and congratulations are without question in order! There is no complacency about you concerning this most important life direction you’re making and know full well it’s one day at a time. Being gambling free is very moreish, and the gambling devil doesn’t like that – good! Brilliant stuff 4D.

Abstainer (*ELDER status achieved*) - 31 ROCKING! – Welcome back to Striver, Stephen. When the gambling devil gives us a bop on the nose, we respond with a counter punch that sends him flying. That’s how I picture your return up the rankings, Stephen!

Our GURUs

Phil72 – 677 days – ROCKING! Always great to talk to you on the Chatline Phil; and you’re KTF!

Changemylife – 415 days – ROCKING! – Thank you for the update, and always keeping focused one day at a time. Reminding yourself, taking yourself back, to those dark days just before you stopped is, I think, very important to do. The gambling devil will always tell us “things weren’t as bad as they seemed”, but we know, you know, they were. They were very bad times indeed.

Our ELDERs

Degenerate – 264 days – ROCKING! It’s not surprising, given how much money we’ve blown, often huge sums on a whim, that we’re not used to handling it when it returns. Even if we’re on reduced budgeting because of debt, any extra is still ‘odd’ to handle. But, with time, we can get used to handling it again and let’s never forget – recovering gamblers are excellent money managers. We don’t waste money when we don’t gamble.

ItMatters – 198 days – ROCKING! I haven’t heard from you for a couple of weeks, ItMatters, but appreciate you tend to update around fortnightly so no worries. I hope everything’s Ok.

Sars27 – 198 days – ROCKING! – Thank you for your update and a serous milestone coming up, but, remember, as ex-gamblers, which we are every day we make the decision not to gamble, every day is just another day. I just ‘just’, but brilliant when contrasted to the miserable gambling opposite!

Rubybaby142 days - ROCKING! – Thank you for checking in Ruby and so delighted you’re keeping this going with no reason to stop! Keep it going Rubes!

Adamjamal2014-2017139ROCKING! – Reading through previous posts can be painful but it’s worth it. You can ‘read between the lines’, see where certain posts allude to wobbly moments and, importantly, how you overcame them. It’s always worthwhile to revisit, and remind ourselves what is driving us to stop.

Mixer128ROCKING! My mum asked me the other day “Have you really stopped for all this time?”. I asked why, and she said: “You struggled last time, and I wanted to make sure”. That shows how my previous gambling has permeated in what other people, including my Mum, think. I assured her, and assure you, that I remain gambling free. I wasn’t upset by her question; if anything it added to my resolve and a sad reminder of my past. I accept I will never have a bank card again. I remain utterly disciplined in how much money I have access to (it’s pocket money and strictly controlled and accounted for). Resolve? I am resolved, but having effectively ‘no money’ makes sure. Self-exclusions from bookies and casinos add to this, but have no complacency whatsoever as I continue this lifetime journey, one day at a time.

Amt722 – 122ROCKING!I know that you’re having a tough time of it. You recently lost a key client and very sorry to learn of this. All I can say is that at least you’re not gambling and worsening the situation. I hope things are getting better for you after this most unwelcome news.

Raj120ROCKING! – You’re doing great Raj and keeping the flame of gambling free life alight. We all know it’s the only way and we have to fight to keep on the path. But we can!

4D – 102 – ROCKING! Delighted you have hit this fantastic milestone 4D! What a journey you’ve had, and, as you appreciated, you’re just getting into gear, settling in. The terrain starts to smooth a little now; you can navigate some of the little bumps in the road. Keeping a steely eye on the gambling devil, of course, who, when he appears, you can firmly boot into touch as soon as he dares to approach.

Our STRIVERs

Adam808 – 82 days – ROCKING! Haven’t heard from you for a couple of weeks Adam – hope all’s well my friend.

Boxingdayfresh77 days – ROCKING! We know the time of year this is, extra susceptible with Christmas parties and the like catching us off our guard. But you’ve recognized that time’s the prerogative here and wasting it on gambling is just that – a waste. Personally, I’m given (by my wife) slightly less cash than I need for my office parties. I never borrow from colleagues, so this really keeps me in check. (One party down, one to go!)

Mitch9178 days - ROCKING! – Hope all’s well with you, Mitch; haven’t heard from you for a couple of weeks but no worries, due check in when you can.

Paulll74 days - ROCKING! There’s always a good karma, I like to think, when we help others, so long as we don’t neglect our own journey. I would say you’ve got the balance about right, Paull, and continue to wish you well.

Velvet768 days – ROCKING! – Last week you posted about getting all the Christmas presents etc. out of the way and what a lovely feeling it is. Not only having paid for them all, but no further stress facing and fighting through the crowds!  Being gambling free really does bring peace of mind in so many ways.

Moorey56ROCKING! – I was a bit concerned about you last week Moorey but my worries have been assuaged. You are right about trepidation about hitting a target and where to go from here: is it ‘mission accomplished’? As we well know, it’s nothing of the sort but we always need to visit our aspirations and motivations. I look at this this way: we never arrive at the finish line, but we certainly finish a stage, like the Tour de France. There’s another stage to come – but an exciting one and one worth looking forward to! But always one day, one step, at a time.

Marson123 49 - ROCKING! – Thank you for your kind words Mason and I was likewise touched by your words. Life ain’t easy and we all need sincere, genuinely intended support wherever we can find it and you’ve got it here, my friend; I know you’d do the same. Keeping posting, keep safe and rest assured all of us here are rooting for you.

Christer1 48ROCKING! –  Thank you for your update Christer and as you say; 10 days till Christmas! Gamblers never look forward to Christmas; it just compounds the misery. But we are recovering gamblers, the other side of the fence, and we can allow ourselves a little slack. Not to gamble, but to ease of getting stressed by it all. Christmas, like gambling, is as easy or difficult as we want to make it. We don’t have to fight the crowds or get sucked in to all of the hype of it all. We are allowed to chill about it if we want to, and would probably say, as we recover, we don't need or want the extra 'hastle' of it anyway!

Antics – 47 ROCKING! Thank you for the update Antics, and you are quite right in supporting those of us who have relapsed and reported this to fellow Guru Challengers. It shows honesty, and, most importantly, respect.

Vibe39 ROCKING! - I know from your posts that work isn’t great and that can be a real stress; I’ve had rather poor bosses in the past and it can be a nightmare. I really hope things are sorting themselves out; don’t forget to cover your back and believe me when I say things will eventually even themselves out. Don’t rise to the bait, poor managers invariably come unstuck these days; we’re living in different times and bad behaviour, thankfully, gets rooted out a lot quicker. A LOT quicker!

Slotfool - 38ROCKING! - Thank you for your update, Slotfool, and checking in as you consolidate your Striver status. All good, and why not?

Abstainer (*ELDER status achieved*) - 31 ROCKING! – Back up to Striver and I am not going to patronise you and say ‘I knew you would’ because life is never that easy. I know you’ve had health issues and still not out of the woods. The most important thing right now is for your continued recovery. The fact you’re keeping your resolve shows your inner resolve and fortitude. We are all with you Stephen.

RE-RESOLVED MEMBERS

Chartom3 (*ELDER status achieved*) – 8 – ROCKING - ! Genuinely delighted that you have dusted yourself down, and back in the rump seat, ready to do this all over again. This is the spirit, the character that epitomizes the spirit of this Challenge and those of us that are part of it. We are all with you.

06/11/17 (Previously ‘’Adam123’, Helpless‘& ‘Next Steps’)  -  7  – RE-RESOLVED - I know you find this tough. I wrote this post today, about fruit machines, with you in mind, actually! I’d be interested in your thoughts; whether it helps you. I really hope so, Adam.

 

RESTED

GeoRESTED - Sadly, I have to rest you Geo but you are always welcome back – you know that.

HowDidIGetToThis RESTED  – Regrettably, I will have to rest you HDIGTT. You are, of course, welcome back anytime.

STATS FOR NERDS: We have ‘rested’ 2 members of our Challenge this week. No new members, so we currently have 2 GURUs, 8 ELDERs, 13 STRIVERs and 2 RE-RESOLVEDs; a net total of 25.

Have a great pre-Christmas week, everyone.

Let’s keep strong; keep sharing and keep strong!

Mixer and Athena, your hosts for this challenge.

Posted on:
Sun, 17/12/2017 - 21:53

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

Thanks for another enjoyable Sunday evening read, Mixer.

You’re rollcall is always insightful and personal towards each and every member that registers. That takes a lot of effort and time on your behalf. So thanks a lot mate.

Here’s to another week of staying gamble free....

Posted on:
Mon, 18/12/2017 - 01:21

Adamjamal2014-2017

Joined:
2017-06-11

Checking in 140 days. Working nights these days. Thanks for a great post Mixer.

Posted on:
Mon, 18/12/2017 - 02:10

Christer1

Joined:
2016-02-29

Thanku mixer for your great roll call you are right in many ways normally I dred Xmas but this year it's all good money still left no urges but still taking each day as it comes

Posted on:
Mon, 18/12/2017 - 13:02

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Thanks  Mixer for the time & effort you put into the weekly rollcall, always look forward to reading and wish all on this challenge well with there recovery journeys.

Posted on:
Tue, 19/12/2017 - 06:37

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

Checking in on Day 58

Posted on:
Tue, 19/12/2017 - 09:54

Mitch91

Joined:
2017-10-03

Morning All

Just checking in 80 days GF! soon be at the magical 100!

Had a few urges the past week or 2 which iv battled but come out on top. MASSIVE positive for me as iv crumbled so many times in the past. 

Hope you are all set for christmas :)

 

Posted on:
Tue, 19/12/2017 - 23:46

4D

Joined:
2010-02-10

Thanks Mixer for all the thought you've put into these weekly rollcalls. They've been a real boost and support. It does feel worth it to me, to have reached 100 days, I remember starting this challenge and 100 days felt like it was quite out of reach.
Well I said at the start that it would be great to get to Christmas with 100+ days and I am nearly there which feels brilliant. I would be lying if I said I didn't miss gambling at all, but its not the only thing in my life now like it was then and I have other interests now so the urges are less. I will keep going one day at a time and I hope all the challengers can too keep going guys x

Posted on:
Wed, 20/12/2017 - 13:14

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hi Mixer. Congratulations on your 130 days gamble free yesterday. Great progress and great attitude. Thanks for all the help and encouragement you have shown myself and other travellers. Take care and best wishes for a great christmas.

Posted on:
Wed, 20/12/2017 - 18:33

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Good evening everyone! And thank you, one and all, for your kind messages and keeping in touch with our group!

I will send a fuller update and reply tomorrow; meantime I remain gambling free at a time of weakness. 

For example, normally I'd buy Christmas presents 'in town' and then gamble lots afterwards. This year, it's all on Amazon to avoid having unnecessary cash on me, and a card (a no-no). It's the only way - I know what I'm like. Why take the risk?

Take care all, a full half-week post tomorrow :)

Mixer

Posted on:
Wed, 20/12/2017 - 21:13

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Thanks for all the updates Mixer. I’m happy to have reached day 80 today. Well done 4D on reaching 100 days - woo hoo ! 

Posted on:
Thu, 21/12/2017 - 08:53

Christer1

Joined:
2016-02-29

Day 52 gf here I'm happy I've made it this far again I must keep trying to get more

Posted on:
Thu, 21/12/2017 - 11:36

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Moorey - thank you for the kind feedback, and also great to see you're building up a good total here. This is what it's all about; and we know deep-down what we have to do, need to do. But we're doin' it!

Adamjamal - thank you for checking in; and great to see you living a gambling-free life, always one 'hard-fought-but-so-worthwhile' day at a time!

Christer1 - you are right to be always be on your guard... that is exactly the way to be. Always make sure the blockers are in place to deal with those weak moments. Remember: we are allowed to live that better life and how much more we can enjoy it when we open our eyes to what's truly out there.

Chartom3 - thank you for your comments and without question great to see you racking up a serious gambling-free day count - keep it going my friend.

Mitch - it is of immense testament to your character that you have dealt with the weak moments - they happen - on the chin. Remember: if you plan for those weak moments; i.e. have financial controls, are self-excluded, taken as many steps as you can - then it can make a massive difference. Walking into a bookies with no money means (a) you can't gamble and (b) you've put an excellent pre-emptive strategy in place. (Should you walk into a bookies? Not really, it's just being cruel to yourself, but you see my point.)

4D - It's been great to have you with us as part of our collective journey towards a better life, 4D. This is just the beginning. Hittng 100 days proves we CAN do it; it's now a case of, day by day, living the life we've proved we can do. Life will chuck loads at us, but we know we can always handle it better when gambling free. Simple as that!

Abstainer - you are such an inspiration to others whilst never losing sight of your own journey, Stephen, which you do honestly and that is so respected by so many of us; truly. Wishing you a great Christmas too, my friend.

BoxingDay - hitting 80 days is fantastic. Such an important achieivement because it's not easy, it requires hard work, thought and an genuine desire to break free of it. Keep it going (till Boxing Day 2018 :))

This is a difficult time of year and I've had my moments in the last week, but held back because of my minimal money supply. Office parties etc. and having a few sherbets leads to 'what the hell' moments but without cash - I retain strict control - I'm covered (won't borrow money and I always stand my round). When I have money in my pocket at the end of the day, I never 'save' it, I pass it back to my wife and the day is reset to £0. I'm getting used to it, especially as my family is happier. When we're gambling free, postitivity does start to spread, however 'uncomfortable' this seems to us - we're so used to self-punishing ourselves! 

I'll have another weekly update on Sunday, as always (wild horses etc...) but let's all keep going, relax, not get unnecessarily stressed by what seems to me to be an increasingly 'hyper' time of year, and enjoy what matters - those around us, and the peace of mind that comes with doing the right thing, the best thing. 

Mixer

Posted on:
Fri, 22/12/2017 - 01:45

4D

Joined:
2010-02-10

Thanks Boxingdayfresh for your kind words, really appreciate it. Only 18 days to go now & I hope to see you achieve 'elder' status, keep going & you will get there!

Thanks mixer too and I will take on board your wise advice about not having too much access to ready cash. Its something that has really helped me and proved a massive relief as well :)

Office party tonight (I've just got in) and a few sherberts were indeed drunk but thank god, no casino.

Stay strong peeps u know its worth it!!!

Posted on:
Fri, 22/12/2017 - 11:54

marson_123

Joined:
2017-11-02

Hi Mixer and fellow guru challenges. Ive been a bit quiet for a couple of weeks but have had a lot going on. Day 54 today and reading through this makes me stronger everyday. Keep up the great work everyone and thank you so much for your support

Posted on:
Fri, 22/12/2017 - 13:27

Mitch91

Joined:
2017-10-03

Afternoon All

Break up for christmas today, was paid yesterday and my partner is trusting me to keep money in my bank. 1 day has passed with nothing more than a twinge. will be easy the next few days im not at work (most of my gambling was done at work) so thats a positive but still a long way to go. Had my 9th Counselling session Wednesday, she sees iv come along way but still feels she can get a lot more out of me before my final session, i have no session till 10th January now so ill probably be on a lot more and will try and get on the chats at least once a week to help me out!

 

Posted on:
Sat, 23/12/2017 - 01:33

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

62nd gamble free day for me :)

Also a little tipsy after a great night out....

Posted on:
Sat, 23/12/2017 - 07:03

rubybaby123

Joined:
2017-07-31

148 days gf

Would like to wish everyone a merry Christmas and a happy gamble free year

Thank you to everyone for their support x

Posted on:
Sat, 23/12/2017 - 10:27

changemylife

Joined:
2016-11-02

Mixer. You have demonstrated beyond doubt that you are in control of your life. Dealing with all areas that pose a possible threat to your security and GF life.

I like the way you think about all the small but essential details; from access to money, supporting network and day to day personal affirmation. Well done you!

Posted on:
Sat, 23/12/2017 - 11:53

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Afternoon all!

4D - I hope you had a good Christmas bash, and, as you say, no casino trip afterwards: a small price to pay for peace of mind and an infinitely better Christmas! Why torture yourself, anyway.

Marson - thank you for the update and hey, have no doubt, this is a struggle. Not just this time of year, but ANY time of year. The gambling 'devil' inside us is ALWAYS trying to tempt us.

  • "It's Christmas - everyone else is having fun, why not you?"
  • "Go on- you've done well. You need a break like anyone else"
  • "You've got a few quid spare - you won't miss it - you won't gamble any more than that."
  • "You might win the cost of Christmas back - give it a go! Who will mind, who will KNOW?".

Sounds familiar? We mustn't fall for ANY of it - it will send us back on a path of misery. Remember your last big loss, the pain? The shame? The empty feeling? We have to say:

"With the greatest of respect, gambling devil, **** off."

Mitch - having the counselling really helps as you know and it's all about keeping momentum when the sessions stop. Chatrooms here on Gamcare, and updating diaries etc. are one route; don't forget family and friends who are life's 'natural' counsellors. 

Moorey - great to hear you're on the right path ... keep at it ... we are all with you.

Rubybaby - and season's geetings to you, too!!!! Lovely to hear from you, have a really really good Chrimbo!

Changemylife - Thank you for your kind words but as for "being in control of [my] life" I wish it were so! I must paint some kind of rosy picture where I have everything sorted out - I haven't. I really have to work at being gambling free. Every day, I fight the impulses, and if it wasn't for the very strict financial controls, along with the self-exclusion rules I've put in place, I would probably have gambled by now.

Heck, I've been gambling for so long, my gambling devil knows me so well, I'd probably fall for some excuse or reason. My home life isn't brilliant; work is very frustrating and I get down about things like everybody else. I make no bones about it and won't 'guild the lily': I have to remove my money supply. For life.

Never look at me as some kind of paragon of virtue or put me on a plinth - I've been gambling hard for many years and have, sadly, "been there, done that"; that is NOT a badge of honour. I have frittered away more than serious sums of money (hundreds of thousands, net) - but, more profoundly than that, some really good relationships, a couple of engagements, that, alas, gambling, and my related behaviours, have ruined.

A crying shame. All I can do, older, wiser - but not able to roll back time, the moment has passed - is keep trying. I am happy to share my experiences, and, more importantly, what I have learned, with others. 

I've learned that money isn't the "be all and end all" but still very nice to have in savings, in reserve. It buys things we need, we desire, time and peace of mind. I don't covet money. I'm not at all materialistic (like many recovering compulsive gamblers); I just need 'enough'. II think, it's refreshing, in a way, to have that view. I find all of the Christmas 'frenzy', everyone dashing around for presents and stuff, all 'het up' and stressed, collective madness in a way: have our lives come to this? But maybe that's just me.

Life is all about the 'small details', the 'little things'. Plug the small holes, like the Dutch fable of the boy who put his finger in the d y k e  to save the town, and you can keep safe, secure and away from gambling. Always anticipate what the gambling 'devil' might try to do to make us gamble. Always keep alert, but look at it as a positive, interesting challenge - you're playing a battle between you good (instinctive) side, and your bad (cold, logical, fallible) side - make sure the right side wins !!!

Have a good weekend, all.

Mixer

 

Posted on:
Sat, 23/12/2017 - 12:35

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Best wishes to everyone for Christmas. I really enjoy reading the posts on here and the advice is always brilliant. This helps us to understand our problem all the more and I especially recognise the slippery slopes to avoid. I’ve been there many times and given in to my thought processes that trick me into playing a few pounds I can afford to lose. In every previous attempt to quit, I’ve never fully understood how one little step in the wrong direction (a few pounds spent on bingo for example) will send me tumbling back to full swing gambling and big losses and debts. Thanks Mixer - your thoughts and wisdom are very much appreciated and I truly think your words have helped me stay gamble free the past eighty odd days. Really pleased I found this challenge to be a part of and will be staying gamble free through this Boxing Day and beyond !!!

Merry Christmas, Everyone xxx 

Posted on:
Sat, 23/12/2017 - 16:21

Nicenormalfamily

Joined:
2017-12-15

You take new people in, if so I'd like to join the challenge. :) Newby here 8 days of gabmbling free. 7 days since coming clean to OH. Roll on.

 

 

Posted on:
Sat, 23/12/2017 - 19:54

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Checking in. Merry Christmas everyone

Posted on:
Sun, 24/12/2017 - 10:13

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Checking in on day 15 gf ...... happy christmas everyone i wish you all welll.

Posted on:
Sun, 24/12/2017 - 11:55

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Bookies delusions sweet elixir OR reality with Mixer the fixer.

Great post yesterday Mixer. Your words convey the essence of recovery. 

Wishing all the Guru challengers peace and contentment.

Gamble free is the way to be for you and me as we gather round the christmas tree.

Posted on:
Sun, 24/12/2017 - 12:26

paulll

Joined:
2009-10-16

81 days gamble free. 

Happy Christmas to everyone. 

Posted on:
Sun, 24/12/2017 - 17:33

Christer1

Joined:
2016-02-29

Checking in on day 56 merry Christmas friends. Had a gd day yest went for drink with my friends outside my area where I'm self exluded from bookies and still not tempted to go in this big citys betting shops where I could of easily gambled so a good day plus today went to church with my children feeling good

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