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#1 Posted on:
Tue, 12/01/2016 - 01:35

Neveragain1

Joined:
2016-01-12

 Hi all,

I am a early 30's female with a gorgeous husband and 3 beautiful children under 5. I gambled from Jan 2012- October 2015. It all started with a little online bet on the darts and escalated to online slots.

To cut a long story short I lost A LOT of money, had loans and credit cards coming out of my ears and was very close to suicide. I used to drive my car to and from work hoping I could find the guts to crash into a wall but I found I was selfish, but not that selfish to leave my babies without a mummy and my wonderful husband with terrible memories of the woman he loves.

like many of you, I developed insomnia, working a 40k year job in the day, coming home playing with my kids, night time would come and I would be on a website gambling away my wages or latest loan- my husband was clueless. My turning point came when my 4 yr old asked why I always looked so sad- I phoned my parents that night and confessed all. I am one of the lucky ones. They didn't judge, they came to my rescue. Paid off my loans, cc's and swore never to tell a sole. I paid them back £400 a month which was my own disposable income- I never once gambled money that was meant for the mortgage or children's future.

i was clean for 3 months but knew somewhere in my head it would come back- it was too easy. I hated myself everyday for the money I owed my parents and just wanted that 'one big win' to pay them back but it wasn't to be. This time I did not get into debt- just used the savings I had accumulated from not gambling- I told my parents and begged them

to help as could feel myself losing control again. I didn't need money- just support. Now a bank statement is delivered to my parents every 2 weeks and I know I would never live with myself if I saw the heartbreak in their faces if I let them down again. 

I haven't gambled since and I am fortunate enough to be paying them back each month so that my husband never found out what a terrible person I am. I know this will get conflicting opinions but I have to do what is right for my family- and not telling him is essential as he would never in a million years understand.

i am now a different person, I can't recognise who I was before- I know I would never ever go back- I  lucky enough to have been given a chance to make things right and I will spend the rest of my life making it up to everyone, even though they are unaware of the pain I have caused them, apart from my parents.

if you are reading this and are in your darkest hour, please tell someone and continue reading success stories. I know I am soooo fortunate to have parents to bail me out and i thank my lucky stars every day that I found the strength somewhere within to put a stop to this cancer that is gambling. Thanks for allowing me to write all this down as I now feel better.

 

 

 

 

Posted on:
Tue, 12/01/2016 - 15:46

Forum admin

Joined:
2010-11-01

Hello Neveragain1

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I'm sorry to hear that you've been through some very dark and difficult times, and you have been brave to share this here.  I'm glad things are very different for you now.

Your parents sound like a wonderful support for you.  You are right, you are lucky to have been given a second chance, but turning a corner as you have done must have also required a lot of hard work on your part. Well done for the will power and  determination involved in that.

It sounds difficult not feeling able to share this with your husband, and I can imagine it's often painful to keep these feelings to yourself.  I can hear how much you care about your family and they clearly gave you a reason to stop gambling.  I'm glad writing this has helped you to feel better and I hope you can continue to post here. Undoubtedly you'll receive a lot of support.

I wish you all the best.

Laura

Posted on:
Tue, 19/01/2016 - 17:09

Loxxie

Joined:
2016-01-15

Good luck hun. .
Such a terrible thing for us all to get caught up in..
Well done

Posted on:
Wed, 03/02/2016 - 01:20

triangle

Joined:
2014-03-14

Neveragain1 wrote:

 Hi all,

I am a early 30's female with a gorgeous husband and 3 beautiful children under 5. I gambled from Jan 2012- October 2015. It all started with a little online bet on the darts and escalated to online slots.

To cut a long story short I lost A LOT of money, had loans and credit cards coming out of my ears and was very close to suicide. I used to drive my car to and from work hoping I could find the guts to crash into a wall but I found I was selfish, but not that selfish to leave my babies without a mummy and my wonderful husband with terrible memories of the woman he loves.

like many of you, I developed insomnia, working a 40k year job in the day, coming home playing with my kids, night time would come and I would be on a website gambling away my wages or latest loan- my husband was clueless. My turning point came when my 4 yr old asked why I always looked so sad- I phoned my parents that night and confessed all. I am one of the lucky ones. They didn't judge, they came to my rescue. Paid off my loans, cc's and swore never to tell a sole. I paid them back £400 a month which was my own disposable income- I never once gambled money that was meant for the mortgage or children's future.

i was clean for 3 months but knew somewhere in my head it would come back- it was too easy. I hated myself everyday for the money I owed my parents and just wanted that 'one big win' to pay them back but it wasn't to be. This time I did not get into debt- just used the savings I had accumulated from not gambling- I told my parents and begged them

to help as could feel myself losing control again. I didn't need money- just support. Now a bank statement is delivered to my parents every 2 weeks and I know I would never live with myself if I saw the heartbreak in their faces if I let them down again. 

I haven't gambled since and I am fortunate enough to be paying them back each month so that my husband never found out what a terrible person I am. I know this will get conflicting opinions but I have to do what is right for my family- and not telling him is essential as he would never in a million years understand.

i am now a different person, I can't recognise who I was before- I know I would never ever go back- I  lucky enough to have been given a chance to make things right and I will spend the rest of my life making it up to everyone, even though they are unaware of the pain I have caused them, apart from my parents.

if you are reading this and are in your darkest hour, please tell someone and continue reading success stories. I know I am soooo fortunate to have parents to bail me out and i thank my lucky stars every day that I found the strength somewhere within to put a stop to this cancer that is gambling. Thanks for allowing me to write all this down as I now feel better.

 

 

 

 

Its been a month.  How are you doing now?

Posted on:
Wed, 03/02/2016 - 11:32

Loxxie

Joined:
2016-01-15

How's it going love...you are lucky your parents could help you....I hope your life is going well and you have managed to stay away from gambling x

Posted on:
Tue, 23/02/2016 - 22:19

Poblwc

Joined:
2015-01-18

Well done very proud of you x

Posted on:
Sun, 20/03/2016 - 17:58

felly11

Joined:
2016-03-20

This is similiar to my situation i had a partner with two beautiful girls under the age of 4 she had no clue what i was doing i also had loans and credit cards coming out of my ears and still do and my wages were gone within hours only recently i had to come clean as it was ruining my life, my partner left me so i had to move back in with my parents. Im in such much debt still its really hard and gambling does cross my mind but i have photos of my girls in my room so i look at them and think to myself its not worth it anymore ive been gambling for 5 years now and ive lost so much money and its not worth losing anymore because i will never get it back.

Posted on:
Sun, 20/03/2016 - 21:29

aberdeen

Joined:
2015-04-28

I too have struggled to give up -must have tried 10 or more times-my vice was online slots again started with small bets and small wins and then big bets and indeed big wins but as everyone knows ended up losing all and more. currently on 14 days of current attempt but excluded from so many accounts i find it difficult to find any to open now. anyway hope lifes treating you well -be good to hear how you are getting on

Posted on:
Fri, 01/07/2016 - 19:51

Hopeful31

Joined:
2016-06-30

I want to say as a woman, mother, and wife also in my early 30's, that I think your great. I had admitted to myself I have a gambling problem some time ago, but only now am I seeking help. My husband is also unaware, and no one in my family would understand. I have debts, but I can manage them if I stop gambling. I also feel the same about telling my husband, I just can't do it. I am getting counselling and it really helps. I think you are doing fantastically, and you should be so proud of yourself on how far you've come. Here's to the new you, and a great future. Most people think gambling only affects men, but a lot of women are sucked in too. This forum is amazing, and so supportive. Keep doing what your doing :) 

Posted on:
Sun, 10/07/2016 - 14:02

Lungie11

Joined:
2016-07-09

 

Hi, I'm also a mother to a beautiful 6yrs old daughter. I have lost a lot of money and it's all started when I was separating With my 7 years partner 4 years ago and I managed to stop for a year. Just few months ago I started again and I don't know why I did.just 4 days ago I lost £2500 and I don't know why.I'm due to be going holiday in a month to see my family that I haven't seen for 4yrs due to gambling. I feel selfish and annoyed with my self as I haven't got much money and the little I have I gambled it. But now I have a strategy I'm gonna work very hard and I know deep inside I would never gamble again. That part makes happy but my head is still banging especially in the morning when I wake up. 

the best part is I'm now free from gambling spending sleepless night and sad days due to this virus.

 

 

Posted on:
Mon, 12/06/2017 - 21:47

Gun_Hjerpe

Joined:
2017-04-27

Congratulations on your success!

Posted on:
Thu, 04/01/2018 - 17:12

Emmaholds

Joined:
2018-01-04

I am crying reading these threads as I always feel as though I  the only woman to have this problem and that other women are out there being good wives and mothers and all I seem to do is destroy my family. I am a mother of 3 aged 46 and I should be able to be grown up and sensible and all I seem to be is a liability. My husband does know about my problem and is amazingly supportive if not angry, confused and fed up with me. I have only just found this site and hope to use it every day to keep me clear from gambling. 

Posted on:
Thu, 04/01/2018 - 17:25

Saffie

Joined:
2017-07-04

Emma please don't feel like you're the only woman. 

I too have been a CG for 5 years, have lost thousands upon thousands and have a lot of debt. But I am 37 days gambling free and clearing these debts. I hope to halve my debt this year. 

Not one of us chose this, and no rational person would throw away hard earned money so don't be so hard on yourself, it's an illness. 

Why don't you make your own diary because it will certainly help you with support as well as give it an outlet for your thoughts x

Posted on:
Thu, 11/01/2018 - 13:01

jomiaeli

Joined:
2015-05-03

Hi Emma,

I am 47 with 3 children and could have written your post! I am currently waiting for my housing officer who will be issuing an eviction notice. I will be going on a retreat run by a gambling charity in 2 weeks and plan for this to be the start of my recovery. Let me know how you're getting on.

 

Posted on:
Tue, 20/02/2018 - 15:20

Cookie12

Joined:
2018-02-19

wow.resonates with me. 50 years old professional woman .grown up children .one at home .husband doesn't know.but my sister and mum do.i am determined as i want a life that is happy .where I'm not hating myself.my chance to have a better life away from gambling .I hope to share success against this addiction with you all

Posted on:
Thu, 22/03/2018 - 07:55

dontao

Joined:
2015-04-10

hi iam new here i got gambling addiction as well ,betting footbal matches over 10 years is hard to stop but i trying again getting some counseling help next week lots a debts and lost over 50000£ through this years ,,very bad sad life sleepless night and sad days ..iam angry .losing temper very quick,definitely i got mental ilness from this sickness but enaugh is enaugh i dont wanna be all the time without money .i am 40 this year so i have to stop,,dont hve family or girlfrend i split up,,i will be happy and thankfull for any support..can you let me know when is online forum here??i live in peterborough any ga meeting there??

Posted on:
Thu, 22/03/2018 - 16:44

Forum admin

Joined:
2010-11-01

Hello Dontao,

Welcome to the GamCare Forum.

Well done for recognising the problems with your gambling and for taking steps to overcome it.

You have acknowledged the effect your gambling is having on you, both in terms of your health and mental wellbeing as well as the financial impact and the effect on your relationships.

You are making a very positive first step, so well done for that. It sounds like you have made the decision to make changes. It is really good to hear that you will be receiving counselling as from next week.

You haven’t mentioned if you are using any other strategies to prevent yourself from gambling. You can find other tips and suggestions here: http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/yourself You will also find information in this link on support you can access in relation to the financial difficulties you are dealing with.

You asked about GA groups in Peterborough. Here is the link for Gamblers Anonymous website , where you can search for groups and find out how GA works https://www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk/

You asked when the online forum is here, if you were referring to the chatroom, it is  currently offline at the moment. However you are welcome to continue using the forum. I would suggest that you post in the new member introductions  section as you will get more responses to your post.

Please do also feel free to talk things through with a GamCare Adviser 0808 8020 133 or you can also contact via the GamCare Netline. The Advisers can provide you with emotional support and information and are available 8am - 12am 7 days a week.

 

Take care,

Victoria

Forum Admin