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It's time to rebuild my life for good!...

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#1 Posted on:
Sat, 18/02/2017 - 20:46

Moorey631986

Joined:
2016-09-08

 

Ok, so here's the deal!...

I've had a pretty good go at stopping gambling over the past 2 months or so. 

If I look at the number of days I've actually gambled, it's significantly less than what it had been the previous 10 years.

BUT... that's not good enough.

I've had ALOT of negative stuff happening in my life recently, that has messed with my head big time and has led me back into gambling when I'd been doing so well. I'd obviously been using gambling as a coping mechanism.

I'll go into that in detail as my diary goes on....

But now it's time to put things right for good. Talk is cheap. Actions are what count. 

Obviously I have to change a couple of things from my last attempt....

I've decided that I am going to tell my girlfriend about my past and what I've been doing. It could go either way, but I'm prepared to take that risk, knowing that it could be a major help in my recovery. 

I've also installed blocking software on my iPhone (BetFilter) (is it any good?) which I've paid for.

So, I'm 1 hour into my new gambling free life....

I need to become a winner in life again!

Moorey

Posted on:
Sat, 18/02/2017 - 22:30

Guestuser9

Joined:
Before 2009

Hi moorey
Well done I like the way you're looking on the positive side.
Don't be scared to tell your partner. It's not easy but it's worth while. Bet filter I hear is good my question is did you set the password yourself? If you did then don't.

Get someone else to do it. If no one is available I read on the forum about using a random barcode maybe from a bag of crisps or something then chucking the bag away.

Look forward to seeing you progress.
Here's to the future

All the best

Posted on:
Sun, 19/02/2017 - 10:38

Moorey631986

Joined:
2016-09-08

Thanks Deano.

To be honest I've bought BetFilter but not worked out how to use or whether or not it'll be any use to me. Call me naive, but I somehow thought that it would block the Safari internet on my iPhone too. Which it obviously doesn't. It seems like I have to set a password (or someone else) on my phone. I might have to read up more about it today. 

Posted on:
Sun, 19/02/2017 - 12:36

Guestuser9

Joined:
Before 2009

http://www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/blocking-software-0

I think there's a lot of questions answered inside this post regarding it hope it helps

Posted on:
Sun, 19/02/2017 - 20:19

Charley1

Joined:
2016-09-11

Hi Moorey, sorry to hear you've had a relapse, but you have absolutely done the right thing by coming back on here. Sadly for us addicts, when things bad happen in our lives, it's so easy to slip back to what we know, our 'comfort blanket' etc but we must remember...that will never make anything better, only make matters worse and cause more stress to us. 100% well aware it's easier said than done! I do hope you find strength on this page and come through the otherside and you will become a winner in life again. Take Care. Cx

Posted on:
Sun, 19/02/2017 - 20:28

Moorey631986

Joined:
2016-09-08

Thanks Charley! I'm 100% commited to giving it another go. 

I'm sure most people on this forum didn't crack it in one attempt. I can feel myself making progress. 

Thankfully, I've not done too much damage this time. I've not set myself back significantly. I've just wiped out the savings I had made over the last couple of months. 

Despite feeling like an 'addict', I seem to be able to stop myself once I've ran out of money. 

I've never ever seeked out any sort of loan (never had a loan in my life-and I'm 30) to enable me to carry on gambling. 

So I guess that must count for something?

But I'm fed up of having no money and no savings. I'm not used to it. 

Last year I had nearly £30k of savings. Then I used £25k for a deposit on a house and furniture etc. So I should have around £5-£7k if I'd been sensible. 

But no, I have £50....

But I know that 6 months gamble free will set me well on the way to where I should be!...

It's just a question of whether I can do it....

Only time will tell! 

Posted on:
Sun, 19/02/2017 - 20:43

gamparentanon

Joined:
2016-04-22

Hi M

Not sure if you want to listen to a parent of a gambler but will carry on in the hope that I can offer a little support and advice.  First of all, so glad you have come on here where you will get a wealth of support and advice and try and speak to the Gamcare counsellers as well.  They can talk you through such a lot such as self-exclusion methods, finance advice and emotional support.  I am so relieved to hear that you have not taken out any loans to fund gambling and that puts you in a much better position to aid the road to recovery.  Believe me, talking from witnessing the loan problem, once you go down that road it is very difficult to get off that treadmill.    You have to accept that the  money you saved has gone and now make it your aim to recoup what you have lost by  setting targets for yourself and counting off the days you will be gamble free in the future.  If you are going to talk to your partner then maybe see if  she is willing to help you monitor your finances.  That really does make it more difficult to spend freely.  It is best to be honest and talking to someone close stops the secrecy and is sometimes a weight off your shoulders.  I wish you the very best for a gfree future and keep posting on here to let us know how you are getting on.  Take care.

Posted on:
Sun, 19/02/2017 - 21:14

Moorey631986

Joined:
2016-09-08

gamparentanon wrote:

Hi M

Not sure if you want to listen to a parent of a gambler but will carry on in the hope that I can offer a little support and advice.  First of all, so glad you have come on here where you will get a wealth of support and advice and try and speak to the Gamcare counsellers as well.  They can talk you through such a lot such as self-exclusion methods, finance advice and emotional support.  I am so relieved to hear that you have not taken out any loans to fund gambling and that puts you in a much better position to aid the road to recovery.  Believe me, talking from witnessing the loan problem, once you go down that road it is very difficult to get off that treadmill.    You have to accept that the  money you saved has gone and now make it your aim to recoup what you have lost by  setting targets for yourself and counting off the days you will be gamble free in the future.  If you are going to talk to your partner then maybe see if  she is willing to help you monitor your finances.  That really does make it more difficult to spend freely.  It is best to be honest and talking to someone close stops the secrecy and is sometimes a weight off your shoulders.  I wish you the very best for a gfree future and keep posting on here to let us know how you are getting on.  Take care.

Thanks a lot!...

Of course I'd like to listen to you! :) 

Any advice on here is welcome and is worthy of consideration at the very least. I appreciate you taking the time to read through my diary. 

Yes, I'm contemplating giving access to my finances to my girlfriend (depending on how she takes it of course...). I need to cover as many blocks as I can. 

Opening up to her will be a massive help in my recovery. As I'll always have somebody on my case (in person) making sure that I'm gamble free. 

It'll feel so good to be able to say, yes sweetheart, I am :) 

Rather than trying to cover things up and pretend that all is well. 

Posted on:
Mon, 20/02/2017 - 23:10

Moorey631986

Joined:
2016-09-08

Day 2 safely negotiated!...

Not without a scare or two though. Always find the first week or so difficult. I guess it's because the memory of my last loss is still fresh in the mind.

Time to put together a good run!...