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Posted on:
Sat, 24/02/2018 - 11:31

Took a wrong turn

Joined:
2012-02-22

28 days well done annie have a lovely weekend and keep making the right choices you are doing brilliant
Wilsy x

Posted on:
Mon, 26/02/2018 - 17:01

Annie2016

Joined:
2016-05-01

So feeling philosophical about the weekend. I am proud that I got to 27 days. Last time I achieved 12 days so I doubled that with 27 days. And last time I lost £120, this time £100. I'm not goi g to beat myself up. I am in a much better place than I was say 2 years ago with gambling despite having much more money then. So why a relapse? Firstly I had some money from selling something that I hadn't expected and payday is weds with no bills before so had the financial opportunity. Secondly I only really like one slot and thought I'd excluded from all sites with that slot but hadn't (from this morning I now have). I'm ok, life's ok. As I gambled I was much more aware of my feelings, of what I was doing, of how the longer you gamble the easier it is to not see the money as real and to up the stake, and ultimately that it results in a whole lot of negatives for example, calling myself names when I guess the wrong bonus feature, going to bed later than I should, being late to meet friends as gambling til last minute, being distracted and keen to be alone, the addiction increases in intensity the more you play. So today is Monday, it has been productive, I have cycled 18k (work and back), I have swam for the first time in a while, and I have been ok with yesterday and Saturdays relapse. I also realised perhaps more than ever that when I deposit that 30 / 50 quid (£1000s in the past), I never have any expectation of seeing it again. So next month I won't be wasting another £100 as that is the same as 20 exercise classes or 3 months gym membership or quite a few meals out depending where you go. It's ok, I'm ok. It's a journey and I fell down but I'm back up and I haven't lost yet!!! Good luck to everyone in your missions to be gamble free. X

Posted on:
Mon, 26/02/2018 - 17:46

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

Hey Annie, I’m glad to hear that you’re taking the positives out of your latest relapse. It’s important to remain positive whilst you go through this process of trying to stay gamble free. 

Take it one hour at a time and keep posting on here when times get tough. 

We’re all with you!

Dan

Posted on:
Tue, 27/02/2018 - 10:05

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Morning Annie, congratulations on your resilience and your refusal to give up.

One little point to note. When people recommend getting back in the saddle, they are referring to continuing the fight against gambling addiction. It doesn't mean you have to cycle to work and back. 

I am overjoyed that this episode is over and done with and that you have learnt from it.

Going swimming and getting on your bike are cheaper, more fun and much healthier than hanging around slimy, foul smelling and cess-pit loving gambling demons.

Tomorrow is payday for you, me and many of our friends on the diaries. We will all have to be on our guard and be ready to stand up for ourselves. 

You will be in my thoughts and when saying my prayers tonight I will ask the angels to bring you comfort and strength. You are such a lovely lady and don't deserve all this heartache. Take care...stephen x 

Posted on:
Tue, 27/02/2018 - 12:06

Took a wrong turn

Joined:
2012-02-22

Hi Annie, thanks for posting to me and sorry i haven't been able to check in with you for a little while, my account is under moderation and needs to be approved before publishing and because it takes up to five hours to be published, it has really put me off using this forum and now I might leave it.

Sorry to hear you relapsed but you won't give up or beat yourself up about it, you will keep on fighting. I hope you have a quiet and peaceful day

Wilsy x

Posted on:
Tue, 27/02/2018 - 20:57

Annie2016

Joined:
2016-05-01

Thank you Dan, Stephen and Wilsy. So great to read your posts. I feel totally fine today and don't have any urges to gamble. I hope you are having a great gamble free Tuesday. You are all doing so well and I hope you are all feeling proud. I'm still feeling philosophical and am going to take each day as it comes. X

 

Posted on:
Tue, 27/02/2018 - 22:10

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

That’s just what I want to read! :)

A gamble free day is always a good day.

Onto tomorrow we continue this journey....

Sleep well x

Posted on:
Tue, 06/03/2018 - 17:07

sunshine16

Joined:
2012-05-26

Hi Annie just checking in to see how things are going ? noticed you set the days back so really hoping you're ok :) 

Take care Sunshne xx

Posted on:
Tue, 06/03/2018 - 19:03

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hello Annie. 

Hope your ok. 

Thinking of you and wishing you well...stephen x 

Posted on:
Wed, 07/03/2018 - 06:29

Annie2016

Joined:
2016-05-01

Thank you both. Yes I am ok. Frustrated. Not sure why I relapsed. Hope you both doing well. X

Posted on:
Wed, 07/03/2018 - 08:04

Annie2016

Joined:
2016-05-01

e lost. Ok so things to remember. Gambling takes away time and money. It becomes monotonous and boring. I become edgy and anxious. I end up rushing everywhere due to all the time lost 

 

 

Posted on:
Thu, 08/03/2018 - 21:25

Annie2016

Joined:
2016-05-01

Today is exactly 4 years and 11 months since I became a compulsive gambler. I have lost thousands of pounds. Tomorrow is the first day of my gamble free future. 

Posted on:
Thu, 08/03/2018 - 21:52

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

I was pleased as Punch seeing your post and so pleased that you are zooming in on our gamble free adventure.You are a much loved and respected member of the gamcare family. 

The road is certainly brighter with Annie in the mix. You can be serious but you also have a good sense of humour and a positive attitude. You give off good vibes.

Take care my friend and be gentle with yourself. You are amongst friends who want you to find your freedom. I left you a couple of hugs at the starting line, hope you didn't trip over them...stephen x

Posted on:
Sat, 10/03/2018 - 19:56

Annie2016

Joined:
2016-05-01

Thank you so much Stephen. Your post was so so kind and thoughtful. I am so grateful to have your support. Tomorrow will be day 3. Xx

Posted on:
Sat, 10/03/2018 - 20:17

Hazard2myself

Joined:
2018-01-28

Hi Annie, well done on 3 days GF. Sorry to hear about your recent relapse but equally glad to know that you are up for the fight and wanna kill this horrible killness. I must of had numerous relapses over the last 10 years. However, this time I'm determined to be gamble free forever just like you. You are not alone Annie, we are all in this fight. Let's help each other kill this illness called compulsive gambling. 

I've quit smoking. I've quit gambling or have put all preventive measures in place not to gamble again (42 days and counting). Now, I would like to focus my time and energy on losing weight and getting healthy. Reading your posts suggest you're very good at running. Please could you give me some tips on how to run without getting bored. Before, I used to just go to the gym and do weights than cardio. Now, I wanna go outdoors more and enjoy running. Keep up the good work and stay GF. All the best.

Pras

Posted on:
Wed, 14/03/2018 - 22:52

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hello Annie. Hope your ok ....stephen x 

Posted on:
Fri, 16/03/2018 - 17:14

Annie2016

Joined:
2016-05-01

Day 8. Feeling ok. X

Posted on:
Sun, 18/03/2018 - 00:00

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hi Annie hope your happy and well. Congratulations on10 days free from gambling.

Not very favourable weather conditions so take care if your out and about running or cycling. I used to love cycling, I found it relaxing plus it kept me fit.

It has been quite chilly and blowing a gale in Hull so I was glad to be in the gym saturday for 30 minutes cardio, a swim and a relax in the steam room.

When I relapsed for one day at the start of this month, I managed to give the equivalent of 16 months gym membership to the roulette machines in the bookies. How crazy is that?

We need to put that gambling madness behind us and free ourselves from this insidious addiction. By learning from our mistakes we can go forward with hope. We have a genuine desire to be gamble free but in the past we have been a bit lacksadaisical in our efforts. 

I sincerely hope that this will be the time when we can succeed in stopping gambling. I believe we have the courage, wisdom and determination that we will need. Take good care of Annie and help her find herself. With gentleness and a firm hand lead her to a life of peace and contentment where she can have fun and enjoy life....stephen

I

 

Posted on:
Sun, 18/03/2018 - 19:49

Annie2016

Joined:
2016-05-01

Thank you so much Stephen. Your words mean so much. I know I can stop this madness and I will. I hope your journey is going well. X

Posted on:
Thu, 22/03/2018 - 22:29

Annie2016

Joined:
2016-05-01

4 days. No urges. 

Posted on:
Sun, 25/03/2018 - 19:41

Annie2016

Joined:
2016-05-01

7 days. All ok. 

Posted on:
Sun, 25/03/2018 - 21:11

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hello Annie. A week since you last gambled. Hope this time you can find your way and stop tormenting yourself. You are part of our gamcare family and we all want you to be free and happy. 

I love the song by Enigma - Return To Innocence. The first verse goes like this : 

Love - Devotion - Feeling - Emotion

Don't be afraid to be weak - Don't be too proud to be strong

Just look into your heart my friend

That will be the return to yourself

The return to innocence.

Wishing you peace, contentment and freedom...stephen x 

Posted on:
Mon, 26/03/2018 - 14:13

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hello Annie. A new week and your nearly in double figures. Take care of Annie and give her the love and respect she deserves.

A contented and happier life is somewhere not too far ahead and it is waiting with open arms.

Wishing you a good gamble free week ahead...stephen x (big hug)

Posted on:
Wed, 28/03/2018 - 21:40

Annie2016

Joined:
2016-05-01

Argh, thank you so much Stephen. Your words always really resonate. I am day 10 and feeling ok. Payday tomorrow but I know I need money for extra annual bills next month like to licence and car mot etc. So feeling positive. X

Posted on:
Wed, 28/03/2018 - 23:09

Hazard2myself

Joined:
2018-01-28

Hi Annie, well done on 10 days GF. I got paid today too and I've got my car booked in tomorrow to change brake pads. Need to change tyres too at some point. 2 months ago I would have probably gambled all the money away as soon as I got paid and have no petrol money let alone mainetance. At least now the girlfriend has total control over the money which helps me sleep well tonight and take my car to the garage first thing in the morning. Looking forward to tomorrow even if it means I'll have to change the front disc with pads. At least the money will go towards my car not bookies. Take care and stay positive. Good luck.

Pras

Posted on:
Thu, 29/03/2018 - 21:34

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hello Annie. We are on the move and heading for the slopes of the gamcare mountain. Early days but we are in double figures, determined and inspired. One day we will be way up that mountain, with a smile on our faces, looking down at the misery we have left behind. 

Wishing you a Happy Easter. Relaxed, contented and at peace with yourself. 

Hope your getting out and about running and cycling. Exercise is fun and makes us feel good  x (Easter hug)

Posted on:
Sun, 01/04/2018 - 08:21

Annie2016

Joined:
2016-05-01

Thank you Pras and Stephen. Sadly I've had to reset the clock again - not a huge loss, nothing like in the past - I did a little bit of overtime last month so it was that that I wasted. Anyway, it's the first of the month, April fools, Easter Sunday, a memorable date to start this journey. I am 7 days off from when I first started gambling five years ago - 8.4.13. Happy easter everyone. Have fun and enjoy! Xx

Posted on:
Mon, 02/04/2018 - 23:28

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

So sorry to read that you have suffered a setback Annie. 

I imagine you must be feeling extremely sad because i have been in similar situations at one time or another and it always left me feeling traumatised

My heart really goes out to you and I sincerely hope you can find the ways and means necessary to stay gamble free and get back your life. Take care and never give up ...stephen x (big hug) 

 

Posted on:
Sun, 08/04/2018 - 00:21

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hello Annie. Hope you are feeling ok.

It is 5 years ago today that you started gambling. It is heartbreaking to think of the hurt you have suffered over that 5 year period. 

I sincerely believe you have suffered enough pain and torment to last you a lifetime. Let the bookies keep the money you have given them. Let it go. It would be nice if we could draw a line in the sand and step over it into a gamble free life. Well that's exactly what we can do.

I imagine your friends on the diaries will be thinking of you today and sending you their love and best wishes. 

I believe it is within our power to stop gambling. We just need to stay on the gamble free road and keep going forward until bedtime. Tomorrow is just another day and if we are hurting, than we will just have to get through the day. As time passes by our journey will become easier.

Take care my friend...stephen x (big hug)

Posted on:
Mon, 23/04/2018 - 00:08

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hello Annie. Thank you for posting on my diary, it is always lovely to hear from you. I know your time is taken up with family life and work so the forum sometimes has to take a back seat. Hope you have been enjoying the sunshine we have had recently. Good for walking and cycling which I believe you enjoy.

I guess you have had a setback with the gambling,  but your profile indicates you are 9 days away from your last bet so you are heading in the right direction. The end of the month is a dangerous time for many of us, it's a time when wages go in the bank so I hope you have blocks in place etc in readiness for the 30th April. I have handed over my bank card to a friend and  withdraw what I need when I see her. It seems to be doing the trick because I am now 54 days GF.

I sincerely hope you can find the peace, happiness and contentment you deserve. We know it is difficult to break free from the compulsion to gamble but we can do it. Wishing you well...stephen x x 

Posted on:
Thu, 26/04/2018 - 22:44

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hello Annie. Hope you are ok.

Just wanted to let you know that Gam Stop is now operating, whereby anyone can self exclude from all online uk casinos. Information on how to do it is in a thread on the Overcoming Problem Gambling section of the forum.

Take care...stephen x 

Posted on:
Sun, 20/05/2018 - 08:03

sunshine16

Joined:
2012-05-26

Hey Annie i can see you've not been on for a while so was just checking in to see how you're doing ? Sunshine :) x

 

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