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How do I get back the value of money

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#1 Posted on:
Fri, 03/11/2017 - 17:48

Dogg1414

Joined:
2017-10-31

One of the main reasons I gamble is due to not having the value of money? It takes till I hit rock bottom before I realise that I need money! I won a big win about 2 months ago unfortunately I couldn’t spend the money as I kept it for gambling! I hear people who feel really content with having £100 etc... yet I still feel skint even when I have £1000s has any one else experience this? I have an average job and have to right to not value money... please advise, is I believe this will help my recovery if I could get some insight? 

Posted on:
Fri, 03/11/2017 - 17:49

Dogg1414

Joined:
2017-10-31

Meant to add at the moment I’m in debt so really have no right 

Posted on:
Fri, 03/11/2017 - 18:56

Katiecoo

Joined:
2016-11-25

Put yourself on a sandwich budget. Believe it or not it's actually enjoyable as isn't about the money it's about regaining control. Feels great

Posted on:
Fri, 03/11/2017 - 21:48

Dogg1414

Joined:
2017-10-31

Really love the some of regaining control. 

Posted on:
Fri, 03/11/2017 - 22:06

sjwsjw

Joined:
2017-10-27

I have also lost the worth of money. I've not really spent anything in the real world for 10 years yet i have gambled £100+ bets regularly online without a second thought. Even when i had lost everything i had to lose for that month the only disappointment i felt from that lost money was the fact i couldn't gamble for the rest of the month.

I've now been gamble free for 38 days and i have given up control of my finances and this has given me a little time to build up some "spare money" to give myself the odd treat even with my debts. I still actually feel guilty spending money on myself at the moment.

I think we get used to risking large sums of money in the hope of that even bigger win and it distorts the worth of money in real world terms. Generally even if we win large sums its not with us for long one way or another and although we may have "had" a large sum we have never felt its real world value yet we still seem to think we understand what it felt like to have it.

Posted on:
Fri, 03/11/2017 - 23:01

Dogg1414

Joined:
2017-10-31

Sjwsjw what you have posted is so true! No matter how big a win! I’ve never spent it on anything but gambling! Well done on being 38 days free... I will be surrendering my bank and cc to my partner... I totally get why you would feel guilty   for getting yourself things however you earned the money your are now spending! And worked hard to get the money! I have been 10 hours gambling free and it’s so hard! Never knew I had an issue until I tried to stop after hitting rock bottom! My partner had to pay all the rent today alone and we have a daughter! Feel so selfish keep telling myself I have money coming back provided the online casino pays out! I’m fighting every urge in my body not to reverse the withdrawal and keep playing! the urge is so bad that I’ve been watching people playing on YouTube to stop me from playing... I gamble on my phone so while writing this I have decided to give partner my phone for the night to stop me self playing. 

 

Posted on:
Fri, 03/11/2017 - 23:26

Crossintheroad

Joined:
2017-11-03

Totally feel your post money has no value to me at the moment. 800 1800 I can't stop so it doesn't mean anything. Yet when I'm skint 100 quid is loads. I'm sure it will pass jeep plugging away you've made a start

Posted on:
Fri, 03/11/2017 - 23:35

ODAAT

Joined:
2014-11-10

Good to see you stuck around Dogg & great idea handing over your phone to keep you safe...Maybe you could consider some blocking software to further proof this?

I wish I had the answer you crave...My relationship with money is appalling!  Whilst gambling I'd shop in different supermarkets to save pennies, pay the same off of various credit cards to clear the gambling transactions from the home page of my internet banking & yet I handed over my bank card repeatedly, caught in the action of my next win.  I didn’t realise it @ the time but money to me was just gambling tokens & although I was frivolous in punishment or when I needed cash back because I’d exhausted all other means, on reflection, I didn’t want to waste my gambling tokens on life.  Since recovery, I have a reduced number of bank accounts & up until the last couple of months, had a burning need to see round figures on my main home page.  Now that I’m not gambling, I have money to spend but I’ve been almost petrified to do so.  Slowly, & with the help of the GA program, I’m learning things I never learned as a child & finding money more comfortable but I know I’m not rid of my demons.  The more you learn about yourself, the more stuff will start to make sense but there are no qwik fixes here.

Keep fighting those urges because they can’t hurt you if you don’t act on them & it’s a great feeling to get through the day knowing you’ve stayed safe - ODAAT 

Posted on:
Sat, 04/11/2017 - 09:18

Dogg1414

Joined:
2017-10-31

Never played last... remained strong couldn’t sleep with the thought of winning more money... but I understand that in the casino I never truly win.... my partner is remaining positive, but deep down I know she is heartbroken that she has had to take the hit on the rent.... telling her is the best thing I’ve done! Saturday is a hard day for me as it’s the day all my mates will be posting there bets (football) wish I could have fun with it like they do but I can’t... so no point trying and crying over it. From a young age, was told drugs are bad, don’t drink to much, yet placing bets is fine no one ever said how addictive it was! Wouldn’t have made a difference to be honest... I went on a bit of a tangent there.... my urge to play has slowed down. All I want to do it put blocks in place and steps... but feel I can’t until the online casino pay out what they owe! My official last payout and my last bet

Posted on:
Sat, 04/11/2017 - 11:01

Dogg1414

Joined:
2017-10-31

Day one no gambling feels great 

Posted on:
Sat, 04/11/2017 - 11:38

ste_ven

Joined:
2012-05-11

Here's a question I was asked recently.... what has gambling ever done for me? 

My answer was nothing positive. It takes our time, money, relationship, our health.... and what does it give us back in return? Debt, depression, sleepless nights, misery.... when you look at it in the cold light of day, why did we ever do it? 

None of us set out to gain a gambling addiction in life, but here we are. By coming here and acknowledging we have a problem, we take our first step on the path to a better future and a happier life.

Keep using your diary and pop into chat when you can, there is a wealth of experience in here and however unique you may think your story or position is, I guarantee someone here already has the jacket.

Take care and stay GF.

Posted on:
Sun, 05/11/2017 - 10:13

Dogg1414

Joined:
2017-10-31

Gambling has givin me nothing!!!

Posted on:
Sun, 05/11/2017 - 10:14

Dogg1414

Joined:
2017-10-31

Day two GF

Posted on:
Sun, 05/11/2017 - 14:07

guest account

Joined:
2017-03-20

Such a valid point it is so true that gambling makes you lose the value of money. I never really thought of it that way at all so thanks for writing that. Money does really become gambling tokens.

 

I have always dug into my bill money thinking, it's ok because I will win in back shortly so I can replace it. Obviously I never do which means I can't pay things. I also thought the same when a I took payday loans out. When i gamble I only think about today and not tomorrow. This always happens so no idea why i thhink 'this time will be different'

 

Well done for your days GF. I'm back to day two again so spending a lot of time on here reading. 

 

Posted on:
Sun, 05/11/2017 - 17:37

Dogg1414

Joined:
2017-10-31

Yeah this is something i think about a lot, never really understood the value of money as one week would have 1000s next week 0... had a family day today, and was able to have fun.... been a hard week end reality of the choices I’ve made are coming back to hunt me!!! My partner has been so supportive lately.. Use to think she wouldn’t get it but what’s not to get. I’m a gambler. And it’s all about the steps I take going forward... have my first session tomorrow and I’m dreading it telling a stranger all my darkest secrets however this group has been great prep so I thank you all another day down, another day I didn’t gamble. Another day I never put myself in more dept... trying to stay strong... enjoy the rest of your weekend 

 

Posted on:
Sun, 05/11/2017 - 21:00

guest account

Joined:
2017-03-20

Good for you, I hope you've had a really positive weekend. You've got to celebrate the little things and spending time with other people whether that's family or friends is definitely a good distraction which will make you feel good in the process instead of  then alternative.

Good luck for tomorrow, just try to remember that your councillor will have heard it all before and nothing will shock them so you should feel comfortable and free to speak your truth.

Well done on another day GF too.

Posted on:
Mon, 06/11/2017 - 12:38

Dogg1414

Joined:
2017-10-31

Just had my first session. So felt great not being judged and getting to know myself! What has gambling ever gave me!!! Nothing and what has it taken almost everything! 

Posted on:
Mon, 06/11/2017 - 12:47

guest account

Joined:
2017-03-20

That's great Dogg1414. So pleased you had a good experience and it helped. Still GF here too. Day 3. Stay strong!!

Posted on:
Mon, 06/11/2017 - 14:44

Dogg1414

Joined:
2017-10-31

Howsoonisnow1983 thank you for your support and kind words! I’m three days free also... let’s keep the momentum going 

Posted on:
Tue, 07/11/2017 - 22:06

Dogg1414

Joined:
2017-10-31

After everything that I said and promises made I failed tonight and gambled so gutted with myself it’s unreal 

Posted on:
Tue, 07/11/2017 - 22:11

movingforward2017

Joined:
2017-11-06

You’ve got to go harder at it Dogg, you have to confront the problem head on. Do all you can to prevent a relapse. Give over responsibility of your finances to someone you trust. Talk to someone about your problem, break the cycle and be free. We are so hard on ourselves, accept your mistakes and wise up. Our past does not define our futures, tomorrow is a new day my friend.

Posted on:
Wed, 08/11/2017 - 22:24

Dogg1414

Joined:
2017-10-31

Need some advise! Since I accepted that I was a addict my gambling has gotten worse! I manged to stay gambling free for three days however I was waiting to a payment to return! But I never reversed the payment! Feel like I have a split personality! One min I hate gambling can’t stand it hate it with a passion the next min I’m on throwing away all my money! No one understands! Tried to speak with family member about it and they just didn’t get it! One day at a time isn’t working for me at the moment.... can’t stop chasing a loss! Please any advise? 

Posted on:
Wed, 08/11/2017 - 23:00

YorkshireLad

Joined:
2017-11-07

Dogg1414 wrote:

Need some advise! Since I accepted that I was a addict my gambling has gotten worse! I manged to stay gambling free for three days however I was waiting to a payment to return! But I never reversed the payment! Feel like I have a split personality! One min I hate gambling can’t stand it hate it with a passion the next min I’m on throwing away all my money! No one understands! Tried to speak with family member about it and they just didn’t get it! One day at a time isn’t working for me at the moment.... can’t stop chasing a loss! Please any advise? 


Hi Dogg
Sorry to hear about your recent relapse. But you can't dwell on this. You need to understand why you are betting is it escapism or is it really just about making a quick buck? Because compulsive gamblers like us can't do that. We can't walk away. If you don't address this now head on it will only get worse believe me. You've got to accept that gambling has won the battle but don't let it win the war. You have a very supportive partner who you need to pay back by sticking to your side of the deal and stop gambling. Luckily every days a clean slate. Good luck.

YorkshireLad

Posted on:
Wed, 08/11/2017 - 23:22

Melonade

Joined:
2017-10-31

I also struggle with the value of money... I have had to now learn to live on a budget. I work hard, I have a good job, but currently I am working for nothing. All my money is going on debt I accumulated through poor money management and thinking I'll pay it off next month and that never comes. 

I started gambling as a dabble to see what all these websites were about. Then won some money, thought might be a way out and pay my debt. No... got myself in more and then chased the losses and just carried on chasing... now I have no access to credit. That isn't a bad thing as if I did I would of just s****** the lot. 

I then started spending my entire months wages in the first hour.. chasing the wages from last month. I need to pay my mortgage.. serious case of loosing the house if I carry on like this.

I've had to learn the value of money to survive. I'm having fun putting a budget together and sticking to it. I used to get off on how much I spend, now it's how little!! 

What helps me at the moment although early stages, try to think back and remember when you lost the money and the feelings involved. That soon stops me and snaps me out of it. 

Try and just put some money back a month, reward yourself once you hit a goal. :) 

Good luck :) 

Posted on:
Wed, 08/11/2017 - 23:29

guest account

Joined:
2017-03-20

Hey Dogg

I'm really sorry that's happened. It feels really awful and I wouldn't wish that feeling on my worst enemy but you cannot change it, it happened, you can only change the path you travel going forward.

I don't have all the answers you probably need but from someone who has fallen and then got up a few times, ok quite a few times, I'm willing you to get back up and keep going and keep fighting. You are not alone, the forum is here and Gamcare is only at the end of the phone too. You CAN do it!

Its so hard to not be able to let go of that loss and I think we all have that in common thinking, if I just keep going, I'll have a decent win and it will sort everything out and then I can quit. It's not going to solve anything, it never does, because we can't stop once we start, however big the win.

 

You say that your family member wasn't very understanding. Could you point them in the direction of the GamCare website to read some of the information? Addiction is a very foreign idea to some although we are surrounded by it in one form or another everyday.

 

In terms of the fact you don't feel you can stop chasing - this is stressful!! Do you think it's also time to get some blocking software as an emergency thing you need to do right now? I had a really bloody terrible day yesterday and I tried to get round mine but couldn't. You do need someone to set up the password for you though. Was really straight forward. Perhaps your partner could help you as they are aware of what's going on? It would give you a much needed safety net whilst you continue counselling. I don't say this because I'm an expert by the way It's taken me to about my 20th relapse to realise that the advice everyone gives on here about gambling blocks is extremely valid.

 

Have a re-read of some of your wonderful positive posts above on your GF days and think about being that version of Dogg again. It felt good didn't it?

Be kind to yourself and stick with it, keep posting. 

Posted on:
Thu, 09/11/2017 - 22:36

Dogg1414

Joined:
2017-10-31

Today has been a gamble free day! Thanks for the kind and true words above! This time last week I was in tears that I had gambled myself in £4000 debt, I have since cleared that abs keep reminding myself of how sick I felt! Hopefully this is enough to drive me forward in my quest to stay GF! Last week I was ready to hand over all my cards to my partner... now I feel like that’s a move to far for me.... nightmare! Normally I’m a action man! But now I feel like I’m all talk.... really trying to dig deep! The casino don’t need my money I need my money! 

Posted on:
Fri, 10/11/2017 - 07:08

Melonade

Joined:
2017-10-31

Well done on another day GF. Just keep bringing up that feeling each time you have the urge. Remember how you felt, the sickness. Don't put yourself through it again, your worth more than that. :) 

Posted on:
Fri, 10/11/2017 - 18:22

Dogg1414

Joined:
2017-10-31

I’ve got worse since I’ve accepted I have an issue! Yet again I failed again, lost 1k today! In 30 mins. Feel like everyone else is doing so well and yet I keep failing the most I’ve managed to do is 3days! On my post it says 9 days and it’s stressing me out as I know it’s a lie! This is the worst I’ve ever been chasing that big lose from last week I’m so afraid that I will only learn my lesson once I hit rock bottom! Was going to smash my phone to stop me from gambling and by the time I got it fixed I would have been days gambling free, as I thought £900 Phone or 1000s of pounds however changed my mind as this is not logical, I’m angery, disappointment, embarrassed, can’t believe the casino and gambling is so easy to access! I’ve lost 100s from the comfort of my bathroom! That surely cant be right!!! Why can’t I be gambling free, everyday at a time doesn’t seem to be working for me! If I hit rock bottom it will be more that money I lose! (The stakes are high family I mean) 15 years ago I won £36 from £1 and was top of the world! And judged  at a man who had lost £400 as I couldn’t understand how that was possible... flash forward and I’ve lost so much more, karma! Need to stop.... 

Posted on:
Fri, 10/11/2017 - 18:52

Moorey631986

Joined:
2016-09-08

Ddog, you reallt do need to grit it out for the first week or so. Once you’ve got a week or so on the board, you’ll begin to feel like a winner again. 

I’m finding it much easier to abstain from gambling, the longer I’ve abstained. I’m on 19 days now. But the first week was hard. 

My mindset was, well, it won’t take me long to get back up to 3/4 days gamble free, so I may as well....

But now I’m at 19 days, I feel much stronger about resisting any urges because I know it’s a long way back from that. 

Take it an hour at a time to begin with. Download an app called ‘quit app’. I’ve loaded on how much money I would use every day in gambling and it is so nice to see that total rise, every minute. It gives so much satisfaction to see this go up.

Don’t let yourself hit rock bottom.

What have you tried so far?

Posted on:
Fri, 10/11/2017 - 22:06

Dogg1414

Joined:
2017-10-31

Not going to allow myself to hit rock bottom I’m going to stop gambling Ano I’ve said this before however I wanted to win back my losses no I’m just content to let them go! Going to use will power, everything else will fail! I’m smart enough to find work around! So will power it is! No matter how much I win I never get to spend it! Always give it back so no more, going to fight the urges, keep reading what Other wrote and that’s that 

Posted on:
Fri, 10/11/2017 - 22:29

SEL87

Joined:
2017-10-18

Don't know if this will help you or not but what has hit hard with me is coming to realise that money isn't everything and that my family and friends are more important,my mental health and wellbeing aswell, as gambling is so devastating to so many people and a big cause for so many bad things that happen.the money that you earn should be spent on yourself or your loved ones instead of the bookies spending your money.give it up mate you will never ever win it back.youl always want more no matter how much you win.good luck 

Posted on:
Sat, 11/11/2017 - 02:19

ODAAT

Joined:
2014-11-10

How do you know everything else will fail?  The only thing I can see you trying so far is willpower...That’s what has failed! The reason you felt that handing over your cards was a step too far was because you weren’t done with gambling...You MUST keep that line firmly drawn under your losses & accept that gambling is no longer a part of your life!  What is your rock bottom that you talk about?  I’ve had it explained as: “Rock bottom is the point when the last thing you lost or next thing you are about to lose is more important to you than a bet.” But as has been discussed on here, rock bottoms have basements.  I know what it’s like to have access to money & I know what it’s like not to.  If you are serious about stopping, find a way to cut off your supply...No money, no gamble.

Addiction loves that you hate yourself, will happily convince you that since you are a failure you may as well carry on self destructing!  You’re not a failure, you’re an addict & accepting you have a problem is but the start of your journey.  Addiction is fighting hard to keep you...Recovery starts when you stop listening to your demons & start fighting to get them under control using all the help you need - ODAAT 

Posted on:
Sat, 11/11/2017 - 08:50

Pwm101

Joined:
2017-01-23

Wise words from ODAAT you’ll only go so far with will power, I’ve got lots of it and gave up for 200 plus days but during that time there were times I tried to gamble on my phone because it’s so bloody easy ! Thankfully I was blocked on my favourite gambling sites and that was enough to stop me for that moment of weakness. It does help . Why don’t you put a few blocks in place and just try and make a week in the first instance - stopping for good can seem daunting but you’ve done 3 days - try and do 7 and see how you feel . Wishing you the best . I’ll be rooting for you 

Posted on:
Sun, 12/11/2017 - 21:49

Dogg1414

Joined:
2017-10-31

Going strong fought urge! Not giving them anymore of my money! I’ve adopted an us against them approach! I’ve I gamble they win and I can’t let them win!!! Thought about my losses today and thought, thank goodness I never last more when I was in the zone! Staying strong and will continue to post and talk on chat group 

Posted on:
Mon, 13/11/2017 - 21:34

Melonade

Joined:
2017-10-31

ODAAT wrote:

Addiction loves that you hate yourself, will happily convince you that since you are a failure you may as well carry on self destructing!  You’re not a failure, you’re an addict & accepting you have a problem is but the start of your journey.  Addiction is fighting hard to keep you...Recovery starts when you stop listening to your demons & start fighting to get them under control using all the help you need - ODAAT 

This is so true. I was on self destruct, knew it and thought may as well carry on as if I'm ruined I may as well completely ruin myself until nothing left. It's such a horrible feeling, then you think how did I let myself get to this. Stay strong. It took me a long time to come on here, I knew I had a problem but I just couldn't divorce it. Just kept going back for more pain and knew it was bad for me. Kept thinking it's ok when I got excluded, when I thought I had control I went back. Just deposited a small amount, and won my best amount to date. That was it, instantly hooked again, just gambled it all away and it was my lifeline. I could of saved myself if I had just stopped there. Fell back down the hole and kept going and going till in a worst state as just could not accept my loss. I still am struggling too. I cannot afford to loose my home. 

Posted on:
Tue, 21/11/2017 - 21:30

Dogg1414

Joined:
2017-10-31

I haven’t placed a bet in 9 days really happy!!! Not long compared to sum people however every day at a time!! I’ve now self excluded myself from all my online casino! Well did this one week ago ias will power wasn’t enough, been with the same online casinos for almost 3 years each and they never even blinked, goes to show you they don’t care! 

Posted on:
Wed, 22/11/2017 - 16:25

Melonade

Joined:
2017-10-31

Well done! Keep up the great progress.

No the sites don't care, it sickens me to think how much richer I kept making them. 

Self exclusion is a great step forward too, it's enough to fight the urge for me when I get it! 

Keep on going!!

Posted on:
Wed, 22/11/2017 - 16:48

Muststop123

Joined:
2017-10-03

Hi Dogg

Really pleased to hear you have self excluded yourself from the on-line casinos. I truly believe we all need some blocks in place however strong we think our willpower is.

Well done on what must be 10 days GF now. Just keep it up.

Muststop

Posted on:
Wed, 29/11/2017 - 10:03

Dogg1414

Joined:
2017-10-31

Hard times, really want to play and I’m fighting it big time! Interesting that when I think about gambling I don’t think of the winnings before I play I think about how much can I afford to lose! The answer to that is not a penny! Funny how getting your thoughts down on here can change your mind set take you away from the brink! I still have zero value for money and this worries me! I did a weekly shop felt great, today just feels like I’m rambling another day gf

Posted on:
Wed, 06/12/2017 - 10:37

Dogg1414

Joined:
2017-10-31

Starting to get back the value of money! However this month in zero interest in saving! Reason being when I gambled and win the money sat in my account as savings, before I gambled it all away! Right now I don’t even chip and pin I lift money and spend it the old fashioned way! So funny seeing the look on people’s faces when u spend cash, they treat u like you have two heads, the amount of times I’ve been asked when did the 5s and 10s change? Haha my urges come in peaks, managed to keep them under control, boredom is the main driving force! Keep reminding myself that a grown man shouldn’t be bored as there a big world out there! I have completed all Xmas shopping something I couldn’t have done at the peak of my gambling, as back then I’d spend £50 and try and win £100 and end up losing £300! I must be the only person who has bought boxers for 1000s of pounds! (Boxers worth £10) if you catch my drift, still gambling free, feel as if my no addiction is not to gamble almost like a new game! This isn’t healthy at all however just being honest on my diary as I can..... finally got over my losses, I used them to go on a make be leave holiday, I have two kids twins who depend on me, going to keep going for them, not posting as much as the dairy and site reminds me of gambling, my post feel like they have turned into rants or general chat however they help me, 

 

 

Posted on:
Sun, 10/12/2017 - 15:07

Dogg1414

Joined:
2017-10-31

Still gambling free, not even tempted to play at the moment... Xmas is coming and I’m all sorted, read back some of my first post and it’s very dark funny what a couple of weeks can do 

Posted on:
Sun, 10/12/2017 - 19:06

ADJ

Joined:
2017-12-10

Hi everyone!Reading your comments here makes me more motivated to stop my gambling problem.Its all true that i dont even know myself the value of money anymore.I've been gambling for nearly 12 years now,wasting all my salary in my addiction of online casinos and sports betting.I have jst spent my whole salary last week in one day playing on my mobile to chase my losses of last month and that made my life more worst.I woke up the following day,questioning myself what i have done again?Yesterday i was thinking this has to be stop orelse i will lose everything including my family so i decided today to join gamcare and go in the forum and read all your comments and experiences to help me to tackle my gambling problem.This is my 2nd day of not gambling and i will keep fighting my demons.I want to be totally gambling free by 2018.

Posted on:
Sun, 10/12/2017 - 21:48

Norland27

Joined:
2017-12-07

A way to look at the value of money is that your time is the most valuable thing you’ll ever have. You trade your time for money, so by not valuing money your not valuing your time. You’ll always have more money but only a limited amount of time to earn it, forget what you’ve lost up until now, tell yourself it’s ok to have lost as long as you’ve learnt a lesson. In time, being gambling free you’ll realise the price you paid up until now was actually a bargain. Good luck.

Posted on:
Tue, 12/12/2017 - 01:46

ADJ

Joined:
2017-12-10

Hi Norland27,its true what you said that the best thing to move on is stop and forget chasing any losses.I have learnt my lessons and its never to late to get up and fight this addiction.Thanks.

Posted on:
Tue, 12/12/2017 - 02:49

Norland27

Joined:
2017-12-07

While you’ve got time it’s never too late to stop. All the best ADJ, good luck