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Heads they win tales you lose

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#1 Posted on:
Thu, 14/09/2017 - 17:29

Dean0

Joined:
2017-09-14

 

 

when the words come blurting out your mouth to your family I'm addicted to gambling. I can't stop no matter what I try no matter how many times I tell myself no more it was just words. Words without actions are simply just words.  How many times do you say that's it no more only to gamble within a week those words soon get forgotten. This time I'll only gamble responsible. Does a responsible person gamble? Most likely not. 

Addiction is powerful more powerful than most of us give credit to. The same body part that says no more is also the part of the body that says yes the brain!! 

In a life and death situation the brain will devour every muscle then work its way through shutting every organ down before it dies. 

Most people become addicts because they want to escape,a life event has forced them to find comfort an escape from reality. By the time you realise you have a problem it's to late you're already addicted. Suddenly the thing that took you away from your problems is now contributing to them massively. You're family, house, money,friends, job are now your brains organs. And the brain is willing to sacrifice the lot to get what it desperately needs. Dopamine!! There's no feeling in the world like that hit to the brain the shaking the rush as you push in the first note or place the bet. The world for that moment in time ceases to exist. Sometimes hours pass in the blink of an eye. The constant game of heads they win tales you lose. Chasing  chasing chasing. Getting to with a fiver of what you put in but it's not enough you want rewarding for your time not paying someone for it . You're up on your winnings. I can't leave now it's paying out . Another blink of an eye and the lot is gone. End of session 

Dopamine leaves the brain and bam you're back it's almost like a possession the demon has left the building. Reality comes crashing down like a ton weight. That's it never again will I do this it's stupid, more pointless words yet again. 

Even after a fair amount of bet free time I like to look back and explore what drove me to gamble. To stop gambling and my recovery from addiction.

 

I'll write more about stopping as time goes on . For now I'll leave you with this ramble

Fletch

 

Posted on:
Fri, 15/09/2017 - 06:40

TheHappyCamel

Joined:
2017-07-26

pretty much sums it up, fletch. End of session, the demon has left the building. Well said. I can relate to that. I don't know how many days you have been GF, but keep it going. 

Posted on:
Sun, 24/09/2017 - 17:39

ALAN 135

Joined:
Before 2009

Hey Fletch ?????????      

Spaghetti Junction ?  I thought you'd have been more the the " Alphabet Spaghetti " LOL :))

Good to here from you old buddy and I hope everyones ok your end ? , thanks for the congrats mate and glad to see your still keeping on the straight and narrow :))

xx 

Posted on:
Sun, 24/09/2017 - 21:12

ODAAT

Joined:
2014-11-10

Hi Wentworth, not massively comfortable coming here & admitting I'm not as astute as Pops & have no idea what handle you used previously so apols if I've never spoken to you before.  

I just had to raise a "couldn't be more accurate" for your opening post & a "hear hear" for your thoughts on Carr's book.  I waded through the 1st couple of chapters & felt a bit like I was reading a promotional'grown up' version of Grange Hill's "Just say no".  I don't know what I was thinking looking for an 'easy' way to do this, I know fine well recovery isn't easy.  Although I have come to accept, abstaining may be enough for some & whilst I accept the sentiment of even if it helps one person, it still makes me cringe when I read a recommendation, especially since I think I may have myself posted to people asking for reads that some people find it helps.  I'm all for keeping it simple but that just sets us up to fail.

Anyway, enough ranting.  Sounds like you committed your early years to the devil too :-(  Time frame wise, I'm guessing we're @ similar stages?  How are you coping with recovery?  

Posted on:
Wed, 27/09/2017 - 17:14

Dean0

Joined:
2017-09-14

Hi kelly.

Yes not a massive fan of Allan Carr either. I’ve got nothing against what people find solace in.  the words easy don’t appeal to me  

Most of his books are just a brand not written by him. He actually died in 2006 the quit gambling the easy way is circa 2013 I believe.

People buy into the idea because of one word “easy”  

Back story quit a successful job when he realised how much money was to be made out of addicts. 

My recovery is going ok 13 months without a punt now.  First few months were easy you get that bounce feeling of joy that you’re actually able to stop . Following that mid way the sudden massive highs and equally massive lows all thrown in with excruciating anxiety attacks. Some days I just wished bed time would come so I could get through the day. Some days I was on the high of life it felt great that I was finally on my way. Took me a while to work out the anxiety stemmed from not doing enough . So I set myself some tasks that I had to complete each day. A routine if you will . And from there the anxiety disappeared

Some days I feel good , some not so much but one things for sure I couldn’t do it again. I don’t have another attempt in me the first few months took me to places mentally i couldn’t face it again. And that’s what drives me forward even on bad days I grind them out because tomorrow is another day.

Wouldn’t it be nice if there was an easy way?

Posted on:
Fri, 29/09/2017 - 10:31

Dean0

Joined:
2017-09-14

The evil evil bookies see that posted a lot, myself I believe it to be a phase you go through. Addictions last attempt at blaming anyone but yourself. Real recovery starts when you expect responsibility for your actions. All those years of being a douche to your family and living in hardship aren’t because of a machine or some evil empire it’s because you chose to do it to yourself. Addiction is terrible but it’s still your own choice. In all my years gambling I’ve never been persuaded to play harder or longer by anyone but me.  Ultimately I was the maker of my own demise and I accept that.

Payday loans: a lot of people now turn to these when they’ve finally exhausted all other avenues. Unless you live under a small rock in the desert you will know how cut throat these companies can be. Rates are extortionate gamblers will often blast through the money borrowed then cry foul play. I highly doubt people would skip how much the payments were before excepting the money. It’s like saying you would feed your kids food without checking the expiration date it just doesn’t happen. Payday loan companies are just legal loan sharks only they won’t come and break your legs or hurt your family if you don’t get the money so we’ll give them a good star for that one?

October sees the evil bookie getting their evil fobt reduced is this a good thing?  I’m not thinking so here’s why, I spent years on end playing low stake 25p/ 2 pound spins. Resulting in spending my entire adulthood addicted to slots amongst other things. So say 20 years compulsively gambling given I gambled for a decade beforehand.  What we see on the forum these days is people reaching out after one year of gambling some cases a month or 2 . It’s a case of the bullet or the sword one is over fast ie high stakes or the sword bleed slowly over a longer period all cases result in death either way. So thinking of the younger generation it’s better to get them in recovery early when they have no other responsibilities ie family, homes

The one thing stake reduction is going to do is drive people online and that’s going to be a bigger disaster than the fobts introduction because people will still want to get their fix.

Personally I think people should stop lobbying the government for stake reductions and start lobbying the banks for more financial protections limiting the amounts one can spend in transactions a day would be a start. 

Cutting off there I’m ranting again 

Posted on:
Fri, 29/09/2017 - 11:31

ALAN 135

Joined:
Before 2009

Morning  Mr "W " :)) .

You know I've alway's held my hand's up and said " It was me " and as far as I'm concerned  Nobody ever held a gun at my head and said " Gamble " So I'm with you on that one but not so sure the reduction in betting stakes on the Fobt's would be a catalyst to drive people to online gambling , that being said the online stuff has never interested me thankfully so that maybe just me spouting rubbish again :((  .

I hope your son's first day went well buddy and your daughters getting her head in gear for her sats , it seems years ago that I was dealing with all that stuff but then again " I am consderably older than yow " :(( .  

Nice to see you posting old buddy and I'll catch up with you soon :)) 

xx

Posted on:
Fri, 29/09/2017 - 12:11

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Online is where the true gambling beast lies, FOBTs are evil, but spinning thousands on your phone or a tablet, now thats evil.

Posted on:
Fri, 29/09/2017 - 16:43

TulsiT

Joined:
2015-07-08

Well put.  Yes, for me, it went beyond chasing cash and wanting to make money. My last relapse I was convinced I could make gambling pay me a second income.  

But it was a dopamine boost that I was after.  The problem was that my last bet, there was nothing. No rush, no thrill, no buzz, nothing. Absolutely nothing. I have been gambling on and off for over 30 years. It really is a mugs game.  However, as you say, I'm an addict.  I find life tough, annoying, a pain in the you know what...

I find it difficult to sit and feel miserable, I want to escape it and feel a bit of pleasure! Today has been a pain in the ****. Argument with the mrs, argument with the daughter. The mrs then nearly chopped my finger off slamming the door without knowing my hand was in there. I then nearly get run over by an idiot cyclist, then it rains heavily (just a few minutes after I watch the weather forecast that says today's weather will be good) - I'm in a tshirt and shorts. lol. Then another idiot cyclist nearly runs me over on the pavement.  Then I recieve something from ebayer that has 7 peices missing! Then two of my staff phone me to say they are unable to come to work. Then, I buy tickets for an event but realise that I got the wrong date! lol..

It's just been one of those days.  I could gamble and get a temporary release, but I know that if I gamble, it will make a bad day even worse. I'm nearly 200 days off gambling now.  That's a good effort. Staying off and trying to work the recovery is what it's all about.  Good luck! 

Posted on:
Tue, 03/10/2017 - 20:56

ALAN 135

Joined:
Before 2009

Hello Mr W :)) 

Just a quick line to say I hope your wife doesn't read your offering's regarding " Child birth " as I got a slap from my daughter the other day after saying to her husband that " Apparently It sting's a bit " ? . Fortunately no other lady on the forum will read this post :)) . 

Good to see you dishing out the wise stuff :)) 

Stay well old buddy :))

 

 

Posted on:
Thu, 05/10/2017 - 22:51

[email protected]

Joined:
2014-12-31

Just wanted to say well done on the year gf. When people come here, i can always tell whose going to get it eventually. Despite you getting the hump with me on occasion, i always knew you would be one of them. Your posts of late have been great & insightful. Your ability to go away & take other opinions on board despite it not sitting well initially is a great skill. Stand tall brother.

Posted on:
Thu, 05/10/2017 - 23:40

Dean0

Joined:
2017-09-14

13 months bet free now.

I still devote the spare time I have on my recovery. As recovery is a lifetime of discovery I’ll be spending the coming months maybe a year on the not so manly subject “emotions”. 

Over the years I know that I have maybe become emotionally detached from the world.

Some people will say that my best quality is I’m unfazed by any situation. To me it says i probably look like I don’t care. I do care but I just don’t know how to show it so my emotions sit inside. 

If I look back my emotions disappeared when my gambling really took hold I was heavily in debt and know one knew. I spent a few years hiding the post. That pushed me to almost insanity. I couldn’t put a number on the amount of times death seemed appealing. From that I had to learn to play happy. When I was sad I was happy on the surface angry again play happy. Give nothing away and you’ll work this out it will all go away. That’s the thing about debt it doesn’t go away until you do something about it.  

A few years prior to my gambling starting compulsively a relative of mine a man who I admit I loved like a father killed him self after he lost a child. That enraged me what an absolute selfish act to put on his family. That was my attitude to the situation, in reality it broke my heart but I never showed anyone that.  Fast forward a few years and there’s me wanting to end it over a couple of quid. I’m lucky in a way that my mental state couldn’t let me go any further than a few years because I would know doubt still be in debt now or dead most likely the latter.  My story is not to dissimilar than one you will read on the f&f where they came out and paid of debts only to continue to gamble.  Thankfully I never borrowed money from when I first came out . Well I couldn’t anyway as my credit rating was shot . I did find once I was debt free obviously having a bigger income and more freed up money my gambling started to spiral again. 

I don’t have any great recovery techniques that I can tell people work with confidence.  But a few recent family and friend deaths was what made me take stock of my life, I knew if it was me I didn’t want to be remembered as the person who had all these good things in his life but chose to do nothing with them.  The past 13 months haven’t been easy but when I feel down I remember those few years sitting waiting for the post unable to communicate my feelings to the world. So if I’m having a bad day feeling sad down or even when I’m really happy when I show it it’s actually how I’m feeling.  I’m thankful to have found my solace in music something I never really took to before but Its A great way of showing your emotions I’ll write more on that another time.

Posted on:
Fri, 06/10/2017 - 17:19

Dean0

Joined:
2017-09-14

I’m in agreement that addiction is a mental illness, I’ll put it here as it maybe unwanted on other people’s diaries. 

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a mental disorder in which people have unwanted and repeated thoughts, feelings, ideas, sensations (obsessions), and behaviors that drive them to do something over and over (compulsions). Often the person carries out the behaviors to get rid of the obsessive

sound familiar? 

Depression (major depressive disorder) is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act. Fortunately, it is also treatable. Depression causes feelings of sadness and/or a loss of interest in activities once enjoyed. It can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems and can decrease a person’s ability to function at work and at home.

There’s over 200 mental illnesses so I won’t bore everyone with them all but just looking at those two there seems a lot of similarities in those and people who suffer from any form of addiction.   There is a lot of stigma with mental health and most people won’t want to associate it with themselves. But again the similarities or uncanny 

a person who has compulsive behaviour do they do it out of habit I’m not so sure.  Does a person commit fraud , steal from family, and sometimes commit suicide out of habit ?  Or is it they’re mentally unwell. 

Addiction may not be a mental illness in its own right maybe it could be magnified from a cocktail of suffering from anyone of the other well known mental illnesses. But there’s definitely a connection there!!!!

Posted on:
Fri, 06/10/2017 - 21:21

Amom

Joined:
2014-10-09

Hope you don't mind me jumping on here Wentworth!

I am in total agreement with you. Why else would my son at 18 years old who had a great kind and caring personality, is empathetic to a fault, intelligent, handsome and a world of potential chose to be living the life of an addict?? He is not happy ... he is a tortured soul who struggles to see how this happened yet can't seem to stop.

I am not saying he has no personal responsibility and/ or blame his childhood or the gambling industry or any number of things that may have lead to this. This is his problem to deal with but I can say without a doubt that he never asked for this and as a mom watching this it is just as heart breaking as if he had a physical disease.

Cathyx

Posted on:
Sat, 07/10/2017 - 22:12

Dean0

Joined:
2017-09-14

Cathy you’re more than welcome to post any time x

You know I think people tend to see a mental illness as someone being locked away in a looney bin drooling all over themselves.  Well maybe in the 1930s those times they thought they could electrocute a gay man into being straight?  

People can live a lifetime with a mental illness and never know they have one. Most are scared of the label. Mental illnesses are treatable if you look in the right places . Unlike the common cold but know one is scared to tell their  boss they have a cold when they want a day off. 

The interpretation of today’s society your just looking for something to blame. Well I’m pretty sure it’s not my wife’s fault I lost a fortune worth more than the house we live in.  Is taking out loans something someone does for fun? Could be i was just moron    With nothing better to do. I’ll keep my options open!!!

Posted on:
Sun, 08/10/2017 - 15:38

Dean0

Joined:
2017-09-14

I’ve scratched at the surface of mental illness and addiction this weekend. Have had lengthy chats with my family about ocd. I’m under the assumption that a lot of people have some form of ocd. Biggest well known one tv/radio on even numbers. Ask a person why they do it , the answer is I don’t know. So why don’t you stop doing it? The answer ? Because 

Moving away from mental illness as it’s probably unpalatable for some to even question their existence/ beliefs 

Hot topic.  Urges to gamble

What is an urge?  An overwhelming sense that you want to do something.  How do you overcome an urge? Patience and self control. Self control isn’t something you start with an abundance of, it builds up over time.  

We use self control in nearly all our day to day tasks . Like controlling your temper. Under an inhabitant ie alcohol you sometimes lose your ability to use self control.  

How do you build self control?

The same way you don’t eat a whole cheesecake. Well you could but you’ve learned that there’s repercussions to eating the whole thing. Weight gain, nausea, regret. So you weigh up the options, you don’t want to feel sick and you don’t want to get fat. That being you’ve learned from a previous experience.

So an Urge to gamble comes you weigh your options. You might get a win that’s merely a sub or an extension of that relapse. Inevitably it goes back in then some.  What happens if you lose? You haven’t just lost money . You’ve lost trust from your family because last time was the last time and so on and so on. How many last times will they put up with? A relapse can bring years of repeated misery. Building back up trust paying back loans and so on for what? A couple hours of zoning out.  Every urge you fight the stronger your self control will become.   Whenever if had an urge to gamble I try to think of the reason why I’m having it and what situation arose to make me feel that way. And then I do my best to avoid that situation. 

That’s my interpretation of it anyway

Posted on:
Fri, 13/10/2017 - 14:33

Dean0

Joined:
2017-09-14

It took me some 20 odd years to quit gambling. I think I quit gambling every time I lost which was the majority of the time. There’s a message of hope there know matter how many times you try eventually you find the right path. Addiction I guess is like a giant maze , multiple dead ends which result in going back to the start. Eventually you work your way out.   There’s no real defining factor that I can say helped me quit because I tried that many. I used mindfulness to take away the anxiety. I watched countless hours of YouTube videos on addiction. I slept with self hypnosis recordings playing in my earphones. I was desperate 

People in worse situations than myself were doing it , why couldn’t I.  

In a way I was scared to let go of the comfort blanket. I knew when times were bad I had the safety net of addiction to zone me out , without that I felt exposed. I’d have to tell people how I feel instead and that felt less manly.

It’s quite empowering to share thoughts with another person it’s usually then that you start to get to know each other properly. My friends I’ve known for almost 30 years and it’s only the past year I’ve actually got to know them.

My best friend like me had ocd when he was younger we often talk about the subject the why’s and the what’s an experience we shared but never spoke about our adult life until recently and we see each other every day.

One of my first fruit machine experiences we both went together both lost roughly 20 quid he never gambled from that day forward ever again. Ask him why and he says that 20 pound loss gutted him he’d worked hard for it and lost it in 20 minuets back then 20 quid was half a weeks apprentice wage. It’s probably the best 20 he ever spent. We both hated losing but in 2 completely different ways, I wanted mine back, he didn’t want to lose anymore. 

 

Posted on:
Sat, 14/10/2017 - 14:36

Dean0

Joined:
2017-09-14

Read a really good book recently, titled how I conned the bookies and why - note unless you want to end up in prison as he did don’t attempt to replicate anything inside.  It’s impossible to do these days anyhow with modern technology. But the book has a good insight into how far a person will go to get their fix. Also an interesting insight into someone who has been to his lowest and found recovery. A decent spend of a tenner ,   Below is a link to a bbc series someone mentioned to me 2 years back it’s called moving on the punter. If you haven’t seen it enjoy.   

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL38t4F71BUEub9sh_jOjoF0q0pt8EAQC1

Posted on:
Sun, 15/10/2017 - 09:17

Tommyt124

Joined:
2017-09-27

Hiya Wentworth thanks for the post . absolute cracking advice on my diary I've been reading some of your stuff on hear a d your experiences are.pricless I had a relapse Friday as today would of been five week gf but back to day 2
.Martin as told me a bit more about yourself and I was laughing at some of the stories top stuffate keep.up the good work

Posted on:
Sun, 15/10/2017 - 14:50

Dean0

Joined:
2017-09-14

Cheers tommy.

Looking back I can’t believe how much my life evolved around gambling a typical week consisted of a Saturday straight up the bookies first thing. I’ll just have a fiver on the football. That was twenty before I left the bookies sitting at home with Jeff and the boys with a fist full of bets that 50 percent had gone down with the afternoon kick off. Great I’m left with some random 18 fold that’s set to rake me in a couple of million lol.  5 o’clock comes and yes I’m quitting gambling again. Actually the lotto is on let’s have a cheeky 20 on that , that loses arrr it’s a fix anyway, Sunday comes let’s have a cheeky treble which turns into another 17 fold because winning a poxxy hundred quid ain’t worth it. Whilst that’s being played a few scratch cards. Which turns into about 2 maybe 3 packs 

The thing about scratch cards like most gambling you just put it back buying more.  I can tell you from experience that there’s only 120 pound in a full pack and 80 percent of that is money back wins, which isn’t really a win. 

Monday comes round and I’ve done all my pocket money which looking back I can’t see why I wanted 500 quid a week pocket money. I’d tell myself that’s it no more gambling, not till I got paid on Wednesday anyway and then the whole cycle continues.

Up until I quit gambling last September I’ve always had my own bank and money that was left was split down the middle. We lived that way for 16 years. A joint account was best for me because it made me accountable and I knew my wife could oversee where the money we had was going.   

The last year has opened my eyes to how messed up my life actually was all I was doing was working to gamble. That’s no life for anyone especially a young family.  

If truth be told the last time I gambled I broke down to my wife I couldn’t go any further, she broke down crying not because I’d just lost my money but because she didn’t know how to help me. The look on my sons face when he saw his mom crying is what kick started my recovery. From that moment I’ve never come close to gambling since.  

The past year and a bit I joined the gym lost my weight that was dogging me had a fantastic holiday we haven’t been on one for a few years. Came back and booked the next .  The old gambler mindset of not spending on things you actually need has gone.   You also have to be careful that you’re not just spending because you have it.

I can’t change anything I’ve done in the past or can I get the money I’ve lost back. But I can make sure I don’t waste another second in a deluded dream of winning big 

Posted on:
Wed, 18/10/2017 - 23:03

Abstainer

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hello Wentworth. Thankyou for posting on my diary, much appreciated. 

Great to see your happy and contented through living a gamble free life, it sends out a positive message to others.

You seem to have good insight and knowledge of gambling and addiction behaviour, which can be very helpful to those on the diaries who maybe struggle to comprehend what is happening to them. When the mind's wrapped up in thoughts of gambling everything else takes a back seat and it's a struggle to see anything with clarity ....stephen 

 

Posted on:
Thu, 19/10/2017 - 19:52

Tommyt124

Joined:
2017-09-27

Hiya Wentworth thanks for your post give me.so much inspiration this week and I'm glad to say since my slip not had any urges and put all my blocks in place .I agree with you about it being a maze and the dead ends it's such a good way to describe recovery .I look forward to seeing your future posts on your recovery as I could.read them all night keep up the good work pal

Posted on:
Mon, 23/10/2017 - 20:50

Dean0

Joined:
2017-09-14

Cheers tommy 

So the governments very own review into the gambling industry is due out this week. Followed this one for a while and I’m not so sure it will be the lightbulb moment every one anticipates.  My reason being it’s timed with the autumn budget. No doubt this budget is going to be one of those where they say right we’re going to start spending. Apparently 50 billion is going into building affordable houses. Perhaps we’ll also see the public sector pay cap lifted. Aswell we have the unknown cost of Brexit. So expect bad news hidden in between all the things they say is good. 

Looking at the bigger picture fobts although deadly a reduction on them isn’t the answer to problem gambling.  People will gamble by any means,  you don’t become addicted to a product. You become addicted to the idea of doing it.  How many people will say I only gambled on one product? Not many.

For instance fobts last year amounts gambled 1.7 billion pound.

Scratch cards sales were 2.7 billion 

The main lotto was 2.8 billion pound.

Even the euro beat stakes on fobt by a few hundred million.

What’s scary is remote gambling uk alone 40 billion pounds staked last year.  Ten billion pounds more was staked online than every other avenue combined. 

Which brought about my conclusion that a reduction in fobt stakes will mean absolutely nothing.   

Imagine all those people going online were stakes are huge. What will seem like a victory will be the start of a disaster. 

You won’t see veterans coming from 10,20 year addictions. It’ll be young adults 18/30s coming with tens of thousands pounds worth of debts who’ve only played a few short years max. 

Read the forums it’s already happening. People are turning up after a couple of months of starting gambling with 50ks worth of debts. 

Have fobts become the scapegoat of the bigger picture??????

Thinking about it more should be done by asking the government to make banks offer accounts for problem gamblers. Limited withdrawals per day, both machine and online spend, people buy TVs in curry’s and the bank rings questioning the transaction, yet someone gambles thousands online know one bats an eye lid. As well effective self exclusion schemes why is know one bringing these questions up?  

That was a random Monday rant.

7.8 billion on the lotto and most don’t class it as gambling?????

 

Posted on:
Tue, 24/10/2017 - 07:44

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

I think your exactly right, it's a smokescreen the FOBT's are used as the great evil and look at what we are doing to clampdown on them were reduding stakes we want to stop this we are pro responsible gambling. But go into any bookies and here you get your card, look how easy it is swipe and play, you are in control. But what else does this card do, it also unlocks the gate to the online world, and once your in you are allowed to have any of the so called treats on offer, "£50 restricted Spins Sir, not in this shop, feel free to gamble away, the £1000 room sir, the £5000 spin sir" the FOBT's are just another gate where they dont care what they reduce the stakes too, as true train crash addiction lies hidden online but rarely mentioned in the same breath, because true profit from compulsive gamblers is when you click deposit a one way street an addiction that wont let you out easily.

Posted on:
Wed, 25/10/2017 - 22:00

Dean0

Joined:
2017-09-14

[quote=Smashed]

I think your exactly right, it's a smokescreen the FOBT's are used as the great evil and look at what we are doing to clampdown on them were reduding stakes we want to stop this we are pro responsible gambling. But go into any bookies and here you get your card, look how easy it is swipe and play, you are in control. But what else does this card do, it also unlocks the gate to the online world, and once your in you are allowed to have any of the so called treats on offer, "£50 restricted Spins Sir, not in this shop, feel free to gamble away, the £1000 room sir, the £5000 spin sir" the FOBT's are just another gate where they dont care what they reduce the stakes too, as true train crash addiction lies hidden online but rarely mentioned in the same breath, because true profit from compulsive gamblers is when you click deposit a one way street an addiction that wont let you out easily.

Hi smashed it’s certainly a strange one that they can have these cards for you to gamble online, yet they can’t have a decent self exclusion scheme. If they were responsible you would need those cards to place a bet all times and that’s how easy it is to make a solution to the problem.

If I’m cynical it is more a smoke screen to the real problem and I think a lot of people have piggy backed on the idea it’s going to be the game changer (it won’t )   I gambled long before the fobt was even in the bookies and people still lost tens of thousands a day.

I think they want people online you don’t have overheads like a shop. Another is you’re then keeping gamblers out of the public eye.  Out of sight out of mind. 

I’m not for bookies or am I against. The end of the day it’s a business that wants to turn profit. But as it’s legal there should be a moral compass that goes with it , not just words to the tune of “when the fun stops ,stop”  a few stickers doesn’t make a company “responsible “    

I often read stories on here and other sites of people who gamble online and lose 20 grand in a day.  Most of these people don’t earn that in a year, it shouldn’t be allowed to happen. There should be a max allowance unless you can prove you’re betting within your means. I think we’re at that point now where it’s to late to do anything about it. There’s to many hands in the pie. 

Posted on:
Fri, 27/10/2017 - 17:51

Dean0

Joined:
2017-09-14

Question in the overcoming section “how much did you lose”. A basic question of who’s more stupid you or i?   I try not to see it as I’ve lost money, that implies I don’t know where it is. I know where it is , I spent it .   

The buzz comes at a price, the longer you last addicted the price of the buzz goes up.   

Might sound stupid but I don’t think of the money you can’t live a life of could of been’s .  What ifs hold you back.  

Does a person think of all the money they’ve spent on gas, petrol , sausage rolls?  Once it’s spent there’s no going back.  

In a way I knew every time I gambled I’d come back pot less because that’s the nature of addiction. Session doesn’t end until skint, even if I won i couldn’t rest until I lost.  One time I remember winning a grand in the first 30 minutes of playing the fruit machines. In a way I was gutted because I wanted the day out of it.  So I sat at three 25p machines all day and lost the lot. Tbh wasn’t even bothered as it never felt like my money anyway,   That’s how messed up addiction is if you lose you want it back , if you win you can’t wait to give it back.   

Slot houses are strange places  you always seem to get a couple husband and wife, always arguing coins swapping between each other , an old girl playing her pension, flash guy in a suit , and some old guy with about 3ks worth of gold on.  Then there’s me sometimes in work wear sometimes in normal clothes depending what day of the week it was.   

Once a young lad came in maybe 17, asking the staff how do I play this ? She said I don’t know Ask him . When he turned to me I said you don’t because you’ll end up in a mess debts up to your eye balls and depressed, he got up and left I sometimes hope he never went back and my words saved another soul from addiction.  

It’s a shame it took me another 7 years to listen to my own advice.

Tbc

Posted on:
Sun, 29/10/2017 - 08:03

Dean0

Joined:
2017-09-14

A message I received this week 

 
The Magic Bank Account

Imagine that you had won the Following PRIZE in a contest: 
Each morning your bank would deposit $86,400 In your private account for your use.
However, this prize has Rules:
The set of Rules:
 
1. Everything that you didn't spend during each day would be taken away from you.
 
2. You may not simply transfer money into some other account.
 
3. You may only spend It.
 
4. Each morning upon awakening, The bank opens your account with another $86,400 for that Day.
 
5. The bank can end the game without warning; at any time, it can say, Game Over!" It can close the account And you will not receive a new one.
 
What would you personally Do?
 
You would buy anything and Everything you wanted right?  Not only for yourself, but for all the people you love and care for.  Even for people you don't know, 
because you couldn't possibly spend it all on yourself, right?
 
You would try to spend every penny, and use it all, because you knew it would be replenished in the morning, right?
 
ACTUALLY, This GAME is REAL...   Shocked ???    YES!
 
Each of us is already a winner Of this PRIZE. We just can't seem to see it.
 
The PRIZE is TIME
 
1. Each morning we awaken to Receive 86,400 seconds As a gift of Life.
 
2. And when we go to sleep at Night, any remaining time is Not credited to us.
 
3. What we haven't used up that Day is forever lost.
 
4. Yesterday is forever Gone.
 
5. Each morning the account is Refilled, but the bank can dissolve your account at any time WITHOUT WARNING...
 
SO, what will YOU do with your 86,400 seconds?
 
Those seconds are worth so much More than the same amount in dollars.  
Think about it and remember to Enjoy every second of your life, because time races by so much quicker than You think.
 
So take care of yourself, be Happy, love deeply and enjoy life!
 
Here's wishing you a wonderful And beautiful day.
Start spending....
 
 

Posted on:
Sun, 29/10/2017 - 09:48

Rhoda

Joined:
2016-12-06

Great to see you posting...food for thought here. So 9.40 now....51600 left for today. I heard yesterday that a friend's dil had died....only in her early 30's....survived by her husband and young son. She fought so hard to live, but cancer beat her. How dare any of us waste a second of the gift we have? How dare we moan about what we have? Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

Posted on:
Sun, 29/10/2017 - 15:28

duncanmac

Joined:
2012-01-26

Deano 

Fella thanks for the support you offered upon my thread it humbled me greatly. 

I have enjoyed reading your thread emmensely, some real food for thought. 

Keep up the fantastic work. 

I salute your effort 

I hope that you and yours keep reaping the rewards 

Abstain and maintain 

Duncs stepping forward never back. 

Posted on:
Sun, 29/10/2017 - 15:31

Dean0

Joined:
2017-09-14

The governments review into the sector will be out a 10pm this Tuesday,  it’s looking like a stake of between 2 pounds and 50 pounds, 30 being most likely.  Although 2 pounds is also a likely scenario.  What’s also interesting is the advertising is also going to be taking a hammer, aswell as seaside arcades everything down to the 2p pushers.  The aim is to take away gambling is acceptable  for young children.   

I know in truth this won’t really help people already in the addiction circle ,  but there’s hope that it will help the future generation and turn them away from this destructive addiction.

 

Posted on:
Sun, 29/10/2017 - 16:14

Merry go round

Joined:
2017-06-08

Thx for comment I did wonder if it was same 'deano'. Did you cut the wire to get back in?

Posted on:
Sun, 29/10/2017 - 18:24

Loxxie

Joined:
2016-01-15

Oohhhh ...one of my musketers is back :-)
Xx

Posted on:
Mon, 30/10/2017 - 20:53

Bal

Joined:
2015-04-18

Dddddeeeeeaaannnnooooo you legend x

Posted on:
Mon, 30/10/2017 - 21:06

Bal

Joined:
2015-04-18

Admin - FFB (Fat fingers Bal) marked a post above as abusive.

Sorry Lox xx

Posted on:
Tue, 31/10/2017 - 08:04

Loxxie

Joined:
2016-01-15

Yo deanooos
I'm doing fine thanks love...my addiction leaves me in peace at the moment...you're right ...I arrived here...broken...chewed up..and spat out ...feeling like I was the only person on earth to have sunk so low...or should i say...dragged under by my addiction. ..suffocated by lies and debt.. boy. ..was I the lucky one that you ....and my other musketers where all here ready to pull me up and give me hope...
So.....yes...times marching on. .650 odd days. ...I don't really focus on the count much now...it's just what my life is now...but boy am I glad to be off that bloody hamster wheel. .
Family good...trade good...all just normal living I reckon...missed all that that for so long...so im just enjoying being normal. ..and doing normal things...
I'm hoping the old duffer is behavi g in his chip shop....I'm sure hes doing just fine. ...I miss the silly old banter between us all...some disaproved....but hey. ..look how far we've all travelled....so must have done some good...
I'm not sure about mart and the mankini...I did try to encourage him to wax in advance...but he hasnt come back to me for tips..
And to be honest...the images I was getting were not great...
"Mrs Brown's waxing in the cupboard '...yikes !
I'm hoping all's well with you and yours....soon be frosty season. ..so brick layers problems I assume...great to see you back here ...xxx