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The Final Countdown

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#1 Posted on:
Tue, 07/11/2017 - 22:16

Abstainer

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hello Diary. Christmas on the horizon which should be good. I've already bought all my presents to give myself peace of mind and have money on my Asda gift card for shopping.

I really need to put gambling out of my mind now and focus on just living my life. I will still keep posting and reading diaries but am not counting the days anymore. In a strange way I find it triggers thoughts of gambling and I really just want it to go away. 

My final music selection is ...The Final Countdown by Europe ...

Posted on:
Tue, 07/11/2017 - 22:30

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Do whatever you gotta do, everyone is different in recovery and stopping, what works for some will not work for others. And you never know when your going to get triggers and have to always know its there, 200+ days, 2 years, 5 years and you think thats it i've won I beat gambling, but thats not the game, to win is to abstain (to restrain oneself from doing or enjoying something.) but do we enjoy losing everything around us for just one more spin, one more deposit.

Posted on:
Tue, 07/11/2017 - 23:11

Moorey631986

Joined:
2016-09-08

Abstainer, my friend, the journey you've made over the last 6 months has been epic. You've come through some difficult times and remained positive throughout. You've been an absolute rock on here and have become a well respected member of the GamCare community. The hard work you've put in over the last 6 months should ensure that you have a lovely Christmas and you deserve every ounce of happiness which falls your way. 

Speaking from experience, your posts to me have been inspirational and have often picked me up when I've been feeling low. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way. Keep positive buddy and continue being a winner in life. 

Moorey 

Posted on:
Wed, 08/11/2017 - 07:31

Merry go round

Joined:
2017-06-08

Hi Stephen realistically the only day that matters is today. I think you're a couple of days ahead of my cg. He counts, sends me the number by text. To me it's irrelevant, just so long as he doesn't gamble today. Sometimes a change is as good as a rest. As long as you stay 'abstainer' that's all that counts. 

Posted on:
Wed, 08/11/2017 - 10:22

Abstainer

Joined:
2017-05-10

Thankyou Smashed, Moorey & Merry Go Round. Appreciate your encouraging posts which I've taken on board. I've just been thinking too much and getting myself a bit down. I know my life will slowly improve by not gambling so I will just take one day at a time and enjoy each day as it comes.

 

Posted on:
Thu, 09/11/2017 - 10:50

Abstainer

Joined:
2017-05-10

Morning Diary. I've just been thinking how lucky I am having such wonderful people to turn to. I've said it before but my GamCare friends are amongst the best friends I have ever had. Always there for me, never judging or condemning me, lifting my spirits when I'm feeling sad, spurring me on when i'm feeling weak. My wishes go out to all on the diaries for peace and contentment in their lives.

My music choice today is ...If That What It Takes by Celine Dion ...When the storm rises up, when the shadows descend - Ev'ry beat of my heart, ev'ry day without end - I will stand like a rock, I will bend till I break - Till there's no more to give, if that's what it takes.

Posted on:
Thu, 09/11/2017 - 11:18

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

With you all the way re: counting the days, Stephen, which, once you've hit a good total, can be a bit of an irritating 'ball and chain' to some.

On the Guru Challenge, I'll remove reference to your GF totals; you'll still be a respected Elder of course!

Here's to a great Christmas this year :)

Posted on:
Thu, 09/11/2017 - 12:56

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Hi Stephen great new thread and I agree sometimes counting the days is a double sided coin. Thank you as ever for your support and encouragement. Hope you are still enjoying your creative writing? Take care my friend S:)

Posted on:
Fri, 10/11/2017 - 11:49

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Hi Stephen
Life is hard especially when we know that when we get older we start reflecting as to moves we made, mistakes of saying Yes to when we should of said No, or vice versa. Being in the right place at the wrong time, or bad decisions. Keep doing what your doing.

Posted on:
Fri, 10/11/2017 - 23:18

Abstainer

Joined:
2017-05-10

Thankyou for the posts on my diary which are always appreciated.

Thanks Mixer for your help and understanding. I just want now to focus on life without the gambling and see what comes about. I also noticed I had thoughts of gambling when adding up my finances,  so will be on my guard when money, bills or debt are on my mind. 

Thankyou Sharon. Enjoying the Creative Writing course on tuesdays and an English course on thursdays. Keeps me out of mischief. I struggled with English at school but enjoying it now. Sorry you where feeling a bit down the other day, I was there also earlier in the week. I suppose the trauma experienced through our gambling will arise now and than.

Thankyou Smashed. Good to focus on our futures but the past will no doubt enter our thoughts now and than. Nothing wrong with that if it's productive but wallowing in negativity doesn't serve any purpose.

My song choice today reflects what I've just been thinking...Shake It Out by Florence And The Machine ...Regrets collect like old friends - Here to relive your darkest moments - I can see no way, I can see no way - And all of the ghouls come out to play .

Posted on:
Sat, 11/11/2017 - 11:50

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Hi Stephen thanks for posting, glad you're enjoying your courses. Great lyrics, it tough to be resistant all the time but it'S the only way with gambling that's why we need to be kind to ourselves. Have a good weekend my friend S:) 

Posted on:
Sat, 11/11/2017 - 11:53

Abstainer

Joined:
2017-05-10

Morning Diary, lovely sunny day. Going swimming later and tonight will be giving it loads at a "Five Rhythm Dance".

I was at a friends house recently when they were watching the disney film "Frozen." Elsa was lonely and frightened, she lacked self belief, until one day she decided to move on and leave the past behind. My song choice today is ... Let It Go by Idina Menzel...It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small - And the fears that once controlled me - Can't get to me at all

Posted on:
Sat, 11/11/2017 - 23:11

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Stephen, you appear to be doing everything you can to better your life and for that you should be extremely proud of yourself.
You come across as someone with a warm heart, kind and giving. Don't ever let your 'down' days take away all of your achievements from this year.
We can't all feel brilliant every day it's just knowing that on our low days we just have to hang in there, accept that sometimes these days are inevitable and know that they will pass.
Great to hear you're enjoying your classes. You set a great example x

Posted on:
Sun, 12/11/2017 - 01:21

Christer1

Joined:
2016-02-29

Love reading your posts a stainer your a inspiration to all of us and love your record choices

Posted on:
Sun, 12/11/2017 - 22:00

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Another great track Stephen; I've just listened to the Youtube live version where Idena really 'lets it go' with her full creativity in flow - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QVJZ_LVDIw 

All the very best to you Stephen as always :)

Posted on:
Sun, 12/11/2017 - 22:25

changemylife

Joined:
2016-11-02

Hi Stephen. Glad that you seem to be in fine spirits, and now firmly in control of the various aspects of your life.

Love your song choices - you even take on board the wonderful 'Let it go' sound track from a children's movie. Inspiration can come from many places.

Little Miss Lost has highlighted a most important and crucial element for our abstinence. Dealing with the 'low' days which we will inevitably have to endure from time to time. A bit like like gambling urges - knowing that they will come, gives us the power to deal with them. Take a deep breath, remain calm and they will pass.

Posted on:
Sun, 12/11/2017 - 23:38

Abstainer

Joined:
2017-05-10

Thankyou for the posts on my diary which are much appreciated. 

Great dancing last night but aching today. Everything go's with ""Five Rhythm Dancing" and I like to give it some welly.

Sobering time at the cenotaph this morning for the remembrance parade. Good to see so many people paying their respects but sad to see families who may have lost loved ones, and children looking cold and bemused.

The 1st World War was a time when whole communities lost their husbands and sons, they had marched off in high spirits to teach "the hun" a lesson. Most of the "Pals Battalions" were just slaughtered. A song from 1915 and apparently very popular was ...Pack Up Your Troubles In Your Old Kit Bag And Smile, Smile, Smile by Oscar Seagle ...What's the use of worrying, it never was worthwhile - So pack up your troubles in your old kit bag - And smile, smile, smile.

I'm not comparing the horrors of war with addiction but it reminds me how precious life is and the futility of wasting it through compulsive gambling.

 

 

Posted on:
Mon, 13/11/2017 - 10:58

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Your (excellent, respectful) final sentence sums it up, Stephen: how precious our life is, and how we shouldn't waste it.

Hope you're keeping Ok Stephen, guess what, I might be up 'your way' soon, got a meeting in Hull! I haven't been there for a while, but had a good time on my last trip a few years back. Anyways .... here's hoping you have a great day, my friend.

Posted on:
Wed, 15/11/2017 - 20:58

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Hi Stephen, 

As you rightly posted on my diary thread, I posted on your diary this morning but it doesn't appear to have saved. I'm not sure what happened there!

And - I think my brain cells are disappearing quicker than I thought - I can't quite remember what I posted!!!

But one thing remains resolute. I hope all's well with you, my friend - such are the constraints on my time that I can only follow so many diaries - yours is my 'feel good' dip to help me start my day. 

Your most eclectic mix of tracks never fails to make me smile - and expand my musical repotoire. Because one track always leads to another... and music feeds the soul :) 

All the best to you Stephen :) 

 

Posted on:
Wed, 15/11/2017 - 22:00

Abstainer

Joined:
2017-05-10

Ha ha thanks for that Mixer it brought a smile to my face. 

Not posting so much now as i'm trying to keep up with the English & Creative Writing I am doing at Adult Education. Lot of fun but it's a struggle going back to learning and I have to do homework for the creative writing.

 

Posted on:
Thu, 16/11/2017 - 00:03

Abstainer

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hello Diary. Have read some good posts recently and thought I'd copy some of it into my diary.

Changemylife wrote; "Knowing the gambling urges will come gives us the power to deal with them. Take a deep breath, remain calm and they will pass." & "Let's count our blessings and enjoy love, peace and happiness."

My song choice today is...If Today Was Your Last Day by Nickelback....If today was your last day - And tomorrow was too late - Could you say goodbye to yesterday? - Would you live each moment like your last? - Leave old pictures in the past

Sharon wrote; "Like a hangover, neither triumphs or disasters last forever. They both pass and a new day arrives." & "Tomorrow is another GF day onwards and upwards."

Mixer wrote; "Whatever our troubles, however we've got to this place, if we can just do one thing today let's just be gamble free."

Little miss lost wrote; "We can't all feel brilliant every day, it's just knowing that on our low days we just have to hang in there. Accept that sometimes these days are inevitable and know that they will pass."

Posted on:
Thu, 16/11/2017 - 08:36

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Morning Stephen, Thanks for the post on my diary, wise words which i will fully take on board.... the continued support from people like yourself really has played a large part in me making it as it stands 81 days gf..... glad to see you are still very much on the right track and you are a great example of what can be achieved and how ones life can change for the better in a relativly short space of time.... keep up the good work mate sometimes by just logging on and reading your posts can help get me  through the days when i struggle  :) :) :)

Posted on:
Thu, 16/11/2017 - 17:34

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Hi Stephen, glad you are enjoying your creative writing etc. I gave myself some early nights and time out from thinking about gambling/money this week as my brain was a bit fried! Thabks for posting your fav quotes, great ti read how others thinj/feel ref gambling. Thabknks for your rocj solid support as always S:)