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Posted on:
Mon, 19/03/2018 - 16:22

Took a wrong turn

Joined:
2012-02-22

Chartom, 100 days gf is a massive achievement, huge congrats

Wilsy

Posted on:
Tue, 20/03/2018 - 08:19

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Thank you Stephen and Wilsy for your kind words, your support means alot and a big help in my recovery.

Morning Diary .... Day 101 ......  things are ticking along nicely and starting to feel the benifits of no longer gambling, dont need it in my life anymore as all it causes  me is misery, know there will be harder days that lay ahead but do feel better equiped to deal with these than in the past.

Posted on:
Wed, 21/03/2018 - 12:25

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Day 102 .......Glad to report in still gamble free, everthing going ok for me at the minute, long may it continue, know that pesky gambling devil is never far away but will do my upmost to keep him at bay cause things are so much better in all aspects of my life  and i aim to keep it that way.

Posted on:
Fri, 23/03/2018 - 11:06

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Good Morning Diary ..... day 104 gamble free for me today and things are still going well with no real urges lately, a part of me is a little scared that i am getting a bit complacent with how easy things are going and am trying to keep my guard up at all times. Can feel things improving for me in all areas the longer i stay gf so know  things will only get even better as my gf days mount up,by no means "cured" and know there will be harder days that lay ahead  but will try not to dwell to much in the past and maybe start to cut myself a little slack .....wishing everyone a pleasent weekend.

Posted on:
Sat, 24/03/2018 - 17:54

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Day 105 .... had a few urges this morning out of the blue so tried to keep myself busy by cutting the hedges as the weather was good, will take the dog out for a walk soon and hopefully i  will be so tired out later to even  think of gambling ..... just have to accept that somes days will not be as easy as others and get through them the best i can, another day without a bet means today i am a winner.

Posted on:
Mon, 26/03/2018 - 10:23

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Day 107 .... so a new week begins, one which again i will do my upmost to remain gamble free, that can be the only way forward for me from now on, to be honest i do miss having a bet and sometimes wish i could go back to the time when it was not a problem for me but  know now that is not possible because unfourtunately i can not control my actions .......  still very much on the right track and keeping my blocks strong which has been a major reason i have came this far,trying not to get to far ahead of myself but can start to feel the benifits of being gf and hoping the longer i can abstain the greater these will become .... wishing everyone a good week ahead.

Posted on:
Wed, 28/03/2018 - 12:56

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Day 109 .... Good & bad days , ups & downs but the longer i stay gamble free the better things become and gradually the good days are starting to outnumber the bad ones,thoughts to gamble are always there but they are just thoughts and the main thing is not to act on them (easier sad than done i know). Glad my blocks are in place cause without them i would have returned to gambling no doubt and for anyone starting out my advice would be to get them in place asap .

Posted on:
Fri, 30/03/2018 - 07:56

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Morning diary, just checking in on day 111 gamble free ..... really starting to feel the benifits of abstaining from gambling and hoping these will only get better the longer i can keep on the right track ...wishing everyone a good easter holidays.

Posted on:
Mon, 02/04/2018 - 10:48

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Day 114 ..... having an enjoyable easter spent with family, the way it should be with no thoughts to gamble where in previous years i would have been engrossed in the outcome of some football match from the other side of the world with possibly £1000s riding on the outcome. Trying my best to not dwell to much in the past as i feel that is still, holding me back a little but really am starting to feel the benifits of being gamble free, been here many times before so not getting to far ahead of myself but so far so good and still a case of ODAAT .....

Posted on:
Wed, 04/04/2018 - 11:40

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Day 116 ...... Some people on here like to stop counting days after a while of being gamble free but for me it is still a big part of my recovey still  and it  gives me a little boost to see my day count edge up each day, maybe one day i wont feel the need to keep count but for now i will keep doing whats working best for me, i guess everyones recovery is different ... things are still going well at the minute, do miss a bet on the football but know its just something i just cant do anymore because of the harm it will lead to. Urges are becoming less frequent but are still there and always will be i suppose but thats fine as long as i do not act on them, the past still haunts me a little and will try and use that as a reminder of where i dont want to go back to.

Posted on:
Thu, 05/04/2018 - 19:43

sjw

Joined:
2017-10-27

Hello Chartom3,

I also like watching the days tick by. In fact i leave my phone on my profile and refresh it in the morning when i wake up!

Well done on almost 4 months, take care.

All the best.

Posted on:
Fri, 06/04/2018 - 15:57

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Thanks for the support sjwsjw , hope you are keeping well and still making the right choices.

Day 118 ....  My uncle past away this week and today i have been at his funeral, really has made me think of how i  have wasted too many years to gambling and made me determind not to waste any more ... time for me to let go of the past and move on and enjoy spending my hard earned cash on the things that matter and not giving it to online bookmakers, life really is precious and its time for me to start living again without that gambling devil holding me back, things wont always be a bed of roses but determind to make the best of what i have.

Posted on:
Sun, 08/04/2018 - 13:41

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Day 120 ..... Glad to be putting some distance between myself and my last bet,still find it hard sometimes especially at the weekends or when big sporting events are on but when i do get the urge to gamble i try to remember that sinking feeling that comes after a big loss, and of course the blocks i have in place are an  extra insurance. Starting to really feel the benifits of being gamble free and hope these will only get better the longer i can abstain, have fallen of the wagon around this stage in the past so know i need to be on my guard at all times ... i wont gamble today, so today i am a winner.

Posted on:
Tue, 10/04/2018 - 10:38

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Day 122 .... Hello diary, glad to report in still gamble free still think of gambling every now and again and sometimes think it would be ok to have the odd football bet but realise thats not an option for me any more as when i place that 1st bet i am no longer in control. Still concentrating on getting through each day gf  and the bigger the gap between me and my last bet gets the better things will become.

Posted on:
Fri, 13/04/2018 - 10:57

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Day 125 ... happy with my progress so far, not been easy with plenty of ups and downs but my life is so much better for removing gambling from it. By no means "cured" and have to be on my guard still especially at the weekends but heading in the right direction .... trying to put the same amount of effort into remaining gf that i did into gambling in the past.

Posted on:
Sun, 15/04/2018 - 00:03

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Congratulations chartom on 126 days gamble free. I believe you have only gambled for one day in the last 230 days which is absolutely brilliant. That showed a lot of character to get up after that setback and carry straight on with your gamble free journey. 

I get a lot of inspiration from reading your posts and it helps me understand my own difficulties better. Many of us can identify with your reluctance to accept the money was gone forever, but you have accepted it and that takes wisdom and courage. Like you I often think I would like to return to having football bets, but we know it would take us back on the road to purgatory and we don't want to go there again.

It would have been a sad occasion for you and your family when your uncle passed away. Bereavement does remind us that our time on earth is precious. We can question what we want from our life and than go about enjoying our plans, achievements and adventures. Wishing you well ...stephen 

Posted on:
Wed, 18/04/2018 - 09:45

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Day 130 ...... i used to gamble to try and win money for a better life for me and my family , holidays, nice things etc , but only after 130 days gamble free i now realise that i can get those very things by not gambling, things are by no means perfect but are so much better than 130 days ago in every aspect of my life,do still get urges to gamble but the blocks i have in place seem to be working and of course reading and posting on here is also a big part of my recovery. 

Posted on:
Thu, 19/04/2018 - 06:03

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Day 131 .... 131 days of winning,131 days of not seeing any betting tranactions on my bank statement,131 days of leading a better life .... long my it continue.

Posted on:
Sat, 21/04/2018 - 07:36

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Day 133 .... still on the right track and making steady progress, have my good and bad days but the longer i have remained gamble free the good ones have started to outnumber the bad ones, blocks very much still in place which is why i have done so well this time around and all round i am in such a better place that 133 days ago .... long my it continue.

Posted on:
Tue, 24/04/2018 - 09:45

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Morning dairy ...... 136 days since my last bet and things are still ticking along nicely for me, a big part of my recovery has been drawing a line under money lost and accepting that it was never coming back, and only since i have been able to do this have i truely been able to move forward properly.Plenty of regret remains and will try and use this as motovation to stay on the right path and each day nudge further away from my last bet.

Posted on:
Fri, 27/04/2018 - 13:52

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Day 139 .... still glad to report that i am still making the right choices, signed up to the gamstop self excluding scheme which places another barrier between myself and my ability to gamble online which is always welcome, do still get the urge to gamble but these are becoming less as my gf days mount up, still very much a case of odaat and guess thats the way it will always be from now on .

Posted on:
Sat, 28/04/2018 - 09:46

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Morning dairy .... day 140 and really am now starting to feel the benifits of being gamble free, no more sleepless nights, no more lying, no more dread at seeing the betting transactions on my back account ... its an easy choice when you think about it and unfourtatlaly i had been making the wrong one for far to long, time now to keep making the right choices as far as gambling in concerned and start feeling the benifits that come with it.

Posted on:
Thu, 03/05/2018 - 09:48

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Day 145 .... still very much on the right track and making the right choices, by no means an easy journey but things are so much better for me when i am not gambling in all aspects of my life,sorry to see fellow gamcarers having hard times and know all to well how easy it is to fall back into bad habits,will keep fighting the fight as the benifis of being gamble free far outway that feeling after a big loss.

Posted on:
Sat, 05/05/2018 - 09:46

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Day 147 gamble free .... starting to enjoy living a " normal " life again.

Posted on:
Tue, 08/05/2018 - 09:53

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Day 150 ... probably the longest  ever i have managed to remain gamble free, things are so much better for me now compared to 150 days ago in all aspects of my life and that is all down abstaining from gambling.Have relapsed several times in the past so know how easy it can be to fall back into my old ways,but my blocks are as strong as they have ever been and i intend to keep pushing forward in the right direction.Still do get the urge to gamble but  not acting on them now and they soon disappear and am trying to fill my time doing other things which sometime can be difficult.Still very much taking it ODAAT and each day i make it through a day gf is a day i am a winner.Wishing everyone on the daries well and for those just starting out or struggling keep at it as the rewards are so worth it.

Posted on:
Sat, 12/05/2018 - 11:20

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Day 154 ..... glad to report still gamble free, dam this non gambling business is hard work and not going to lie sometimes i do struggle but the benifits are so worth all the hard work i have been putting in .... have finally let go of my losses which had been holding me back for such a long time and am looking forward and not dwelling to much on my past mistakes, couldnt have made it this far without the blocks i now have in place and the councilling i recieved and of course posting & reading on here have been a hudge help to me ... for the first time in a long time i am looking forward to the future without gambling holding me back.

Posted on:
Sun, 13/05/2018 - 13:38

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Day 155 ... brief thoughts today about having a bet on the football, but they have now gladly passed, glad to have good blocks in place or thing may have turned out diffferent.

Posted on:
Tue, 15/05/2018 - 15:23

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Day 157 .... finding it hard these past few days as i now have money in the bank again which is testing me as the gambling devil on my shoulder is telling me its ok for me to have a punt again, but the solid blocks i now have in place make it very difficult for me to gamble .... really dont want to undo the good work i have done and intend to push on forward however difficult that my be its better than going back to misery ..... wishing everyone well.

Posted on:
Tue, 15/05/2018 - 16:18

jamdownunder

Joined:
2013-08-21

Hi Chartom,

157 is such an acheivement congratulations. Never give in to that temptation, imagine wking up on day 1 tomorrow! Imagine the feeling of losing again. Get a nice day out booked or a break away or something then count the days off to that. Been gread reading your story so far and well done again, Being up the road on 157 days is inspiring, continue to light the way : )

 

Jam

Posted on:
Fri, 18/05/2018 - 09:49

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Day 160 .... Glad to have put some distance between myself and my last bet, some days are fine others i do struggle sometimes but my blocks are as strong as they have ever been, which makes it very difficult for me to gamble.Starting to see improvements is all aspects of my life which is all down to remaining gamble free and expect these to continue the longer i can abstain.Anyone reading this just starting there journey stick at it cause things can and will start to get better.

Posted on:
Fri, 18/05/2018 - 14:07

jamdownunder

Joined:
2013-08-21

Hi Chartom, 

Nicely done on day 160. What sort of improvements have you noticed? I'm at day 34 today and certainly the lack of worry and the nervy feeling in my stomach when I've spent every penny are things that I am glad to be shot of. Not long until you are at the 6 month stage now, what a great milestone that will be. Great work!

 

Jam

Posted on:
Fri, 18/05/2018 - 16:03

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

jamdownunder wrote:

Hi Chartom, 

Nicely done on day 160. What sort of improvements have you noticed? I'm at day 34 today and certainly the lack of worry and the nervy feeling in my stomach when I've spent every penny are things that I am glad to be shot of. Not long until you are at the 6 month stage now, what a great milestone that will be. Great work!

 

Jam

Hi Jam .....  some of the improvements i have the longer i remain gamble free are not feeling guilty,sleeping better, less grumpy,spending more quality time with family and of course have some money  in my account again ..... these are just some examples of how my life has improved, its not always a bed of roses but a dam site better than it was 160 days ago .... keep at it mate you know its worth it ... have a good weekend.

Posted on:
Sun, 20/05/2018 - 09:29

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Thank you Chartom for posting on my diary. The kind words from yourself and Sharon really brightened up my weekend.

I am really pleased to see your excellent progress on your gamble free journey. You seem to have learnt valuable lessons from your setbacks last year and are now moving on to a better life. 

Wishing you well my friend and look forward to following in your footsteps. I am 147 days behind you and will be over the moon if we can keep it that way...stephen 

Posted on:
Sun, 20/05/2018 - 10:15

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Thanks for dropping by Stephen, it also gives me a little boost when people like yourself take the time to post on my diary, good to see you back in a positive frame of mind and up for the fight.

Day 162 .... something does feel different this time in that i feel i really want to stop gambling this time where in the past maybe it was i just wanted to stop losing.Good blocks have made a big differance this time as when i do get the urge to gamble it is now very dificcult to do so and of course reading and posting on here and seeing my day count add up is also a help to me.Boredom sometimes sets in for me and in the past this has been a trigger for me to gamble but as been said on here before would now rather be bored with money in my pocket than sitting without a penny to my name.Wishing everone a good Sunday whatever yous are up make sure it dosent involve gambling its just not worth it.

Posted on:
Sat, 26/05/2018 - 10:40

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Day 168 ..... nothing much to say really at the minute just getting on with things the best i can which is made that bit easier by the fact i am not gambling and nice to check in here to see my day count add up .... wishing everyone a good weekend.

Posted on:
Mon, 28/05/2018 - 10:06

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Day 170 .... delighted with myself to have made it this far but know i must not get complacent as that pesky gambling devil is never far away ..... good solid blocks have been the main reason i have made it this far and without them i would probably not have made it this far, have seen improvement in all aspects the longer i have abstained and hope to see this continue into the future,feel as if i can finally move forward again because i am at last able to let go of my past losses.

Posted on:
Sun, 03/06/2018 - 10:04

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Day 176 ..... all is good gambling wise, do i still get the urge to gamble yes of course i do but am learning to deal with those urges and most of the time now they pass pretty quickly .....  i am really starting to enjoy the things remaining gf has given me, more quailty time with family, getting out and socializing more and of course more money in my pocket are just a few things.Trying not to get to far ahead of myself ...... the sun is shining and i wont be gambling so today is a good day.

Posted on:
Thu, 07/06/2018 - 10:40

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Congratulations Chartom on 180 days without a bet.

Good progress on your gamble free journey and a great attitude.

Courage, resilience and a desire to do what's right for you and your family.

 

Posted on:
Thu, 07/06/2018 - 18:13

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Thank you Stephen for your kind words, hope you are keeping well my friend ...... Day 180 for me today, have came along way and am really starting to feel the benifits i gamble free life has to offer, no more sleepless nights, no more trying to scrimp and save, no more guilt at the amount of money i have just wasted etc .......  life still has its problems and is by no means perfect but it is so much easier to deal with such problems when i am free from gambling and my head is clear ... have made big mistakes in the past which cant be undone but can only make sure i dont continue to make those same mistakes in the future,easier said than done, i know but will keep fighting.

Posted on:
Sat, 09/06/2018 - 22:54

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Day 182 ..... been having gambling dreams/nightmares lately which i have never had before, guess they are just another part of my recovery am so glad when i wake and realise it was only a dream and i havent accualty been gambling ..... apart from this things have been going well and hope to stay on track even with the world cup coming up, still a case of one day at a time.

Posted on:
Mon, 11/06/2018 - 20:17

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Thank you for posting on my diary Chartom. I am going to try harder this time.

Wonderful to see you so far into your recovery. 6 months gamble free is a great achievement. By rights you should be home and dry now but we both know that we remain vulnerable for quite some time.

Keep doing what you are doing because you are doing so well. Hopefully in 6 months time I will be where you are now and congratulating you on a full years abstinence. Seeing friends like you winning your battles does give me hope that I can do likewise...stephen 

 

Posted on:
Wed, 13/06/2018 - 13:58

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Day 186 ...... some days i now find my recovery quite easy now , but know that the gambling devil is always lurking at the back of my mind trying to convince me that now i have some savings built up again that it would be ok to have a bet again, sure its only £10 you wouldnt even miss it ..... but we all know where that £10 will leed to and i have fought so hard over the last 6 months i dont want to go back there, so i will soldier on trying my upmost to remain on the right track cause the end results are so worth it.

Posted on:
Sun, 17/06/2018 - 16:42

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Day 190 ....... 190 days since my last be and am very ,much on my guard at the minute with the world cup being on as football was my main sport to bet heavily on and know it only takes one slip and i would be back on day one .... a big part of making it this far, the longest i can remember staying gamble free,has been finally  being able to let go of money lost as this played a big part in holding me back in the past. I am by no means cured and still think of gambling all the time, but my defences are now so much stronger than they have ever been, which gives me a fighting chance.

Posted on:
Fri, 22/06/2018 - 09:17

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Day 195 ...... a few urges recently with the world cup being on so have to stay strong as really dont want to undo all my hard work, just a matter of keep doing what i am doing as it seems to be working for me ..... good to have a few quid in my pocket again and able to treat myself and others, something i was never able to do while gambling... hope to push on through the 200 day mark and beyound.

Posted on:
Wed, 27/06/2018 - 09:55

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Day 200 ....... really pleased to have made it this far and to say i have been 200 days gamble free seems a bit unreal.All aspects of my life have improved because i am no longer gambling from sleeping/eating better, spending more quality time with family,being more socilable,no more lying, and of course more money in my pocket to spend on normal things. Things are by no means perfect and i sometimes do still get the urge to gamble but with good blocks now in place i feel alot better equipped to deal with it than i did 200 days ago.To anyone on here who my be struggling,take advantage of the help available on here and get as many blocks in place as possible and keep fighting because the rewards are so worth it. 

Posted on:
Wed, 27/06/2018 - 22:30

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Congratulations Chartom on 200 days gamble free.

I liked your last post which shows just how much life can improve when not gambling and I was also impressed with your positive attitude.

I wish you every happiness, good fun and success as you continue with your journey...stephen 

Posted on:
Thu, 28/06/2018 - 21:07

sjw

Joined:
2017-10-27

Nice job on 200 days Chartom! Keep it going mate.

All the best.

Posted on:
Thu, 28/06/2018 - 22:21

Chirst21

Joined:
2012-07-20

Congrats on getting to 200 days gf. Today marks the start of my journey again.
Regards

Posted on:
Thu, 12/07/2018 - 07:06

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Day 215 ....  dont feel the need to post as much now a days but glad to say still on the right track, do sometimes feel a little vulnerable as i now have some spare cash again but my blocks remain strong and would be lost without them. Trying to look forward to a long time future without gambling and not to dwell to much in the past.

Posted on:
Tue, 17/07/2018 - 21:02

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Day 220 ...... 220 days without a bet feels good and the longer i go gamble free the better things get, by no means cured and always on my guard but so far so good .... long my it continue that way .

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