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Posted on:
Mon, 04/12/2017 - 09:20

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Day 113

The part of our brain that tells us that tells us to stop Gambling is the part that contains other keys that make us think deeper about our actions and the decisions we make and how we can get more from life as a whole. The problem with the good part is that the other part likes to be over ruled by the other part like a bully. Because as everyday people we are constantly feeding our brain with images and subconcious thoughts, but if we think for just a few seconds before we act our lives become better. But we say things like "Can't be bothered" or "It takes to long" always wanting a quick fix, for an example the other day for lunch I could either go home and make a nice cheese omlette, cherry toms, black pepper, side salad or the bad side of my brain the one that convinces us that we can win money gambling says no just get a McDonalds, quick easy and no fuss. Now usually I would give in to the bad side and say your right it takes long and it would just smile at the other side of the brain. Wait a couple of seconds and listen to the other side of the brain the one with the keys " Do you really want to eat a piece of processed **** that cooks from frozen to cooked in 40 seconds, or something that you know you will enjoy" and just listening for once, that was probably the best omlette I ever had, and by listening I'm learning. The same with drinking, I enjoy a good night out with the lads, but my bad brain will tell me to drink on a wednesday for no reason and if I wait a few seconds all the keys side will say is "Why?" and when I listen the answer is "Why, indeed" and it all relates to the gambling side and expanding the key side to irradicate the gambling side makes us better people. There is good music out there Martin it's just buried :-)

Sorry for the mad ramblings hope it makes sence to someone.

So todays tune relates to unlocking the keys.

Dego & The 2000 Black Family - Find A Way

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ir1PgmTFlx0

 

Posted on:
Mon, 04/12/2017 - 10:11

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Hi Smashed thanks for your post, I did read a quote about numbers something like they go on forever blah blah, can't remember.  But I totally agree with you, I have Hever been a 'keeping up with the Joneses' type and am not swayed or impressed by what people own, it'S about who they are. Lately I have let the domestic scene slip (well a bit more than that lol) But y'day I put my all into the house and made a pie from scratch. Even though this is not groundbreaking the satisfaction and the appreciation I received was the best feeling ever, wipes the floor with gambling for sure. SO yes it'S the little, often costing very little, things that make you happy. Have a great GF day my friend S:)

Posted on:
Mon, 04/12/2017 - 14:36

changemylife

Joined:
2016-11-02

Great post Smashed. I really like the way you express your thoughts. You've just hit it on the head with the definition of activity in our minds - the crux of the matter. Key decision-making based on logic and knowledge, rather than impulse and desire.

Posted on:
Tue, 05/12/2017 - 13:05

breakfree

Joined:
2011-01-01

Thanks for your comments on my diary, see we are both at similar stages of recovery.

Let's keep going and make this a positive end to 2017 :-)

Posted on:
Wed, 06/12/2017 - 15:31

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Day 115

I know myself, and no one can tell me different. Keeping that thought is what you always have to keep in your mind, I have taken a long time to realise that, have gone somewhere where I didn't want to go, listened to someone who I know I am looking at but dont give a flying monkeys what they are talking about, and how that relates to gambling reveals the same answer. I am wasting my time. My Time. Someone who knows what they want to do but was trapped in the game, and combine that with booze and compulsive gambling to become well and truly trapped, fools eh. But now 115 days in the wasted time I gave to gambling and unacceptable drinking habits have been diminished, I can see paths and equipping myself to walk those paths head held high new boots and a smile and determination, and people may try and block that path, if they do I will just stand there until they move as I know whats at the end of that path. Contentment.

Posted on:
Fri, 08/12/2017 - 15:21

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Day 117

Is it really one hundred and seventeen days since I threw my laptop into the wall and Smashed it into all those pieces, my main gambling tool took the hit as I finally realised the money had ran out, what a ****** gambling really is, like any other addiction very easy to get into and extremely hard to exit. And escaping gambling feels like The Maze Runner (film) as once your in it does definately not want to let you out. And if you get out the enticements to come back in to the maze ramp up, free spins, free bonus money, promotions, whatever it takes to lure you back, even if you excluded your number and email have been sold off to other preadators keen to lure you back to another place. Have a good weekend, dont gamble, do not give into temptation, be strong, stay positive and use your head to take you to a place of good good :-).

Posted on:
Fri, 08/12/2017 - 22:51

changemylife

Joined:
2016-11-02

Congrats on 117 days. You are propelling yourself forward, further away from the gambling past. And with incredible posts which many of us can relate to, simply because it comes from the heart. It tells the story with all the gory details. A minefield of emotions, and a strong message to behold.

Posted on:
Mon, 11/12/2017 - 15:15

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Day 120

A good weekend no gambling thoughts at all, but hit by a few unexpected parking fines which are always such a pain to get, a **** Turpin tax on people just trying to do a job watched by cameras like eagles on poles. I heard a good quote on Sunday "Know who you are by knowing where you've been" we have to learn that we can can eaisly get trapped in the repeat cycle, or the gambling time healer phase, I'm due a big win, or any of the other stupid brain tricks we can fall for. In the past getting a fine or a bill you didn't feel you deserve would always be a way in for the Gambling Mind to tell you "I got this" and then pay it and it's like you never got it, and would Xmas a few weeks away I would say right lets win the fines and then I'll be good. Not any more addiction I dont listen to you as your just as bad as the crooked councils infact your in the same leauge. Gambling we are divorced, I still have to listen to you from time to time but we will never ever be an item again, you took a lot from me but you'll never take another thing from me.

Posted on:
Mon, 11/12/2017 - 18:45

changemylife

Joined:
2016-11-02

Nice post mate. Sums it up really. You're proving that it's YOU in control this time, by dispelling the dissolusion and false justification.

Posted on:
Mon, 11/12/2017 - 18:46

changemylife

Joined:
2016-11-02

I accidentally posted this one twice! So as I'm unable to delete the post, this is my editted version.

My thought for the day: Personal power and confidence derives not only from thoughts of abstinence, but acknowledgement of the undeniable problems and misery caused by gambling.

Posted on:
Wed, 13/12/2017 - 22:11

Abstainer

Joined:
2017-05-10

Thanks for posting on my diary Smashed. Interesting reading your posts and plenty of food for thought. 

It's a good point you make that being gamble free opens up other doors. In fact everything looks different when we're not gambling. Without the cravings, selfishness and greed we can go about our business in a more productive way. 

We need to stay on this road with our GamCare friends. 

Posted on:
Thu, 14/12/2017 - 17:44

changemylife

Joined:
2016-11-02

Use that anger to your advantage Smashed. Visualise your laptop smashing into a thousand tiny pieces. Remember the crashing sounds reverberating within the confined space. Feel the anger. Taste those tears. Gambling can*uck off to leave you with the will to live your life with respect and dignity. You got it mate.

Posted on:
Mon, 18/12/2017 - 03:27

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Three 0 Clock in the morning and I'm sitting here in the place where I shouldnt be, I cant lie, Ive let myself sucumb to something I thought I had sussed, what a waste of all that time, getting to a good place, a few things happened a few drinks and home alone and well total and utter ******** and £750 of what 100% I dont have has gone, what a mug, back to day one, what a total *****, sorry.

Posted on:
Mon, 18/12/2017 - 07:30

Merry go round

Joined:
2017-06-08

Hi smashed don't let it spiral. Learn fromh it. You've been honest and that's a huge step. You just have to keep strong and fight against it. I don't know what made me read you diary, maybe the time you were on 3am. Don't punish yourself. Just for today.

Posted on:
Mon, 18/12/2017 - 10:08

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Hi Smashed, I relate to many if your posts and what ganbling has dished out to you. I second Merry go round, don't beat yourself up. You've made alot of progress and this will make you stronger, even though it probably doesn't seem like it. With you all the way, take care S:)

Posted on:
Mon, 18/12/2017 - 11:22

Abstainer

Joined:
2017-05-10

We're all with you my friend and understand the hurt you will be feeling.

I imagine your thoughts and emotions will be all over the place but please take the positives from your 4 months gamble free. 

 

 

 

Posted on:
Mon, 18/12/2017 - 11:35

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Hi Smashed, I feel your pain, please try not to be too hard on yourself, you have came along way these past 4 months might not seem like it right now but you can come back even stronger ...... keep fighting.

Posted on:
Mon, 18/12/2017 - 14:58

changemylife

Joined:
2016-11-02

Smashed. Sorry for your recent relapse. It hurts all the more when you lose money that you could not afford, which inevitably is most of the time.

Ok, you lost control. You became desperate. Probably just trying to put yourself in a better financial position in readiness for Xmas. And in a way, I can't blame you. The pressure at this time of year to buy presents and join in with the festivities is both outrageous and unnecessary.

But as you know we travel this journey with many pathways and junctions. In the grand scheme of things it doesn't make any difference if you have 5K, 10K or 20K of debt. You make decisions today which will effect your present and future.

Keep strong my friend.

Posted on:
Mon, 18/12/2017 - 17:57

SEL87

Joined:
2017-10-18

Sorry to hear that smashed,hope your not in the chasing mindset mate you did unbelievable getting to so many days gamble-free you can do it again.had some thoughts this weekend to bet too but thankfully I didn't,it's such a thin line we're all on!chin up lad.

Posted on:
Mon, 18/12/2017 - 18:37

Magnetism

Joined:
2017-12-15

Coming up to the end of year is always a difficult time when funds are strained. I seem to lose near this time too. Last year I won £5000 just before Christmas. However, most of it went back in to the machines. I gave my kids and missus £1000 and spent the rest on myself. It was better than what I just did a few days ago.

Best advice is, leave the money someone will use that money somewhere else. You just have to kick the habit and when it is a lose it usually could mean you are going to stop. However, some of us are taught not to give up, so when we lose whilst at the table/wheel/machine we go all in! Now go all in on abstinence!

The results are money...Lots of it!

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