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#1 Posted on:
Sat, 26/08/2017 - 16:55

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Well today is two weeks for me, feels like ages since i fired up a *** or *** slot, ive had some mad urges to gamble but fighting them off, had free money and free spins offers but have deleted them straight away. Messages and even phone calls from ***, they dont want me gone, but im fighting it. I seriously think I could write a book about gambling adiction, as this is the first time ever i really think for once i have the upper hand, but i know how gambling demons work an I know there stalking me waiting for me to feel sorry for myself or think i could of been this or that, think about the past what if, or drink, but i know now he's there an im not listening to his come on we can turn a quick £50 deposit to a grand, and we will collect and can do this and that. It's hard but 2 weeks and a good mindset so far.

Posted on:
Sun, 27/08/2017 - 09:58

Merry go round

Joined:
2017-06-08

Hi, if they call you, you just tell them you're a cg. Shortest phone call! If you put blocking software on gadgets doesn't that stop email? Barriers are good, you need some as will power can sometimes not be enough. Good luck , 14 days is good, stay strong!

Posted on:
Mon, 28/08/2017 - 10:53

Raj

Joined:
2017-07-05

Well done on being 14 days free Smashed..keep this up it will be 140 days soon! 

Posted on:
Wed, 30/08/2017 - 23:26

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

Hi Smashed

Thanks for your reply to my post on the New Intros Forum.

I am attempting to avoid looking at all the football and sports odds so I don't see something that looks good value and worth a bet or so I don't regret not having a bet if all the results I would have predicted in my head end up winning.  I do review the fixture lists but merely out of interest and to see what games are on TV.  I watched a couple of live matches this weekend and probably enjoyed them more than most other matches for years.  It felt so refreshing to just watch for the enjoyment and not to wish for a certain result / goal etc.

I hope you are well and continue to fight off any urges to gamble. As you are on a similar timeline to me I will look out for your posts and keep in contact.

46 and out

Posted on:
Fri, 01/09/2017 - 08:28

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Thanks 49. Nearly 3 weeks now but I know how gambling works. When you step out and look back in, you realise how bad this country is when it comes to gambling. The online gambling is not regulated at all, for instance I can join a casino now and gamble what I want, the government want you to focus on look what were doing on the high street etc were limiting stakes were doing this and were doing that, but the true beast lies behind your front door and when you open your laptop or turn on your tablet, where bets are unlimted. £1000+ roulette spins, £500 a spin slots, not regulated. And this is where it all spirals and you go from the man who would deposit £20 do a few bets have a few £1 roulette spins a few 20p slot spins, to then losing the plot and depositing £4500 in a few hours, where did it come from, and thats what I ask myself. How did it get me like that if I withdrew £50 from my £20 I felt good to the state im in now of 5 years of £600 a month reypayments, gambling had me as well as the money like so many stories ive read it changed me too, and if your low about other stuff going on in your life it will come for you harder and want you to chase big wins. I read yesterday that**** got fined for just this. Three weeks for me tomorrow and I can see the beast for what it truly is what it done to me and what it wants to do to others and the worst thing is it will keep getting new victims everyday sucking them in with a free £10 or deposit £5 get £50 deal, all those happy people all having fun in there ads. Those new sign ups will be here where we are now asking the same questions, how did that free £10 end up with me being homeless, does the gambling beast care. Does he F.

Posted on:
Sun, 10/09/2017 - 08:35

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

One month gamble free, seems like longer. I think seeing that first Direct Debit leaving my account hurt knowing I have nothing to show for it and a long road to wipe it away. You often get the "Why did you do it" questions in your head, and of course want a quick way out of it all, it hurts to think about the time left to pay it off, so I guess that was step one and now to get to two months.

Posted on:
Tue, 12/09/2017 - 01:45

changemylife

Joined:
2016-11-02

Hey Smashed you're doing great. You've come along way, and you're in the right place to find peace and redemption.

You know, it hurts like hell losing all that money; I get what you mean about starting out betting small, then things getting out of hand and before we know it we've gambled away a fortune. We cannot afford to look back, our lives are worth more than that!

Posted on:
Tue, 12/09/2017 - 16:03

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Thanks changemylife, the first DD hit me like wow 1 down 59 to go. 59 more monthly DD to clear a mad gambling binge, what was I looking for a double up 50 thousand a million. The Gambling Mind and your normal mind are just miles apart because when the gambling mind has you, that road is rough, especially if you find yourself on Chase Street that is the self destruct street which by reading here many people have been on. Myself today thinking about last month, I think to myself who was that guy, was that really me depositing those crazy amounts, why did I lose it so bad. I dont ever want to meet that version of me again the version that gambling created of me, I know he will try and come for me again but as of today my beautiful daughters 15th birthday I wont let him back.

Posted on:
Tue, 12/09/2017 - 20:50

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

Hi Smashed

Well done on being one month gamble free.

I too think back to just over a month ago and wonder who that possessed person was who gambled so recklessly for so long (30 years !!).  It just seems so crazy once the gambling mist has lifted and things become far clearer.

Try not to focus too much on your loan repayments, try and think of it that each new day you stay gamble free you will be better off financially (going in the right direction and not getting worse) and much better off in terms of peace of mind, time spent with family etc.  I hope you had a great time with your daughter on her birthday.

Best wishes

46 and out

Posted on:
Tue, 12/09/2017 - 21:04

adam808

Joined:
2017-08-27

Congratulations on being a month GF. I was hooked on those slot games too, I know exactly what it is like. 

I'm in a similar position with debt too, I guess we can only think that we are making those small improvements each month and very slowly paying it back - rather than adding on to it. 

Keep going with it!

Posted on:
Thu, 14/09/2017 - 15:20

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Thanks Adam, you definately have to look forward and accept it's gone. Gambling, well CG, Addiction has spiraled out of control and will get worse and worse, but the profits are astronomical. Online is a beast, and it just grows and grows as more and more casinos pop up usually all owned by the big operators, its only when you stop, step back and look at it, you realise how bad it is and what it can do to people.

Posted on:
Thu, 14/09/2017 - 15:30

paulds

Joined:
2012-01-13

Hi Smashed,

Well done on your gf month, as you say the money isn't coming back. But you can shape your future. I too have huge monthly payments that will be going on for years. I try not to think about it on a day to day basis as it can be overwhelming, they will come and go each month as sure as the weather will. All we can do is get through each day gamble free, each payday will take care of itself.

You are doing great, all the best, stay safe and strong.

Paulds 

Posted on:
Thu, 14/09/2017 - 18:37

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Thanks Paulds looks like you have a long way to go to, but it is all or nothing. Gambling is not Fun. Its an addiction and just like any other addiction if it grips your mind you are in trouble. You just have to know when youve gone to far and try and repair it before its too late.

Posted on:
Sat, 16/09/2017 - 02:24

changemylife

Joined:
2016-11-02

I think that you have hit it on the head with your comment: 'You just have to know when you've gone to far and try and repair it before it's too late.'

This optimises the moment with a CG reaching their defining low point. When they realise that things are now truly out of hand. And gambling really isn't just a bit of fun. That if they were to continue it might not be just the loss of money at stake, but their life!

Yes, we can analyse how we got to this point. The loss of control. The vicious mind games ending up with a wild goose chase of speculative lost cause. Chasing the money, with the stakes climbing higher and higher. The desperation and sadness. And eventually a feeling of hopelessness and defeat.

But there is another way, and you're definitely getting things sorted. It may well take a while to pay off debts, but if we can keep on track there's a brighter future ahead.

Posted on:
Mon, 18/09/2017 - 22:48

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

Hello Smashed

How r u doing, I haven't seen you post for a few days.  I hope all is well?

Best wishes

46 and out

Posted on:
Tue, 19/09/2017 - 04:32

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Hi 46 and Out.

I'm good still GF but the last few days been wanting to gamble, with still nearly another two weeks until payday all funds have ran out and will have to get the essentials on CC's until then, I think running out of money which was caused by gambling, in my mind I have the "I want it back" running through my head, and the stupid gambling logic of thinking I can. I'm up early today and logged in and was grateful you looked out for me, as going quiet on here during recovery is definately feeling low or slipping back or a relapse. So made it to 37 days GF and Gambling yesterday was at my doorstep rattling his long claws on the door asking if I want to come to play, luckily for me I didnt open the door but realised he's not going to go away easily.

Posted on:
Tue, 19/09/2017 - 21:05

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

Hi Smashed

It's great to hear you are still GF.  You have done well to fight off the urges. One way to look at using your CC's a couple of weeks before payday is that you would probably have started using them a week or more ago if you had been gambling.  I am also having to use CC's at times to get through the month and whilst I would prefer not to, I am going to try and pay more off on payday than I spent on them the month before.  Whilst that may only be slow progress in the right direction if I was still gambling the CC debts would be getting bigger much quicker !!    I think it sometimes helps if we get urges as long as we don't succumb to them, its acts as a reminder that we need to remain strong and focused to improve our lives and we must never become complacent.   Keep visiting the forum, and keep those urges and any "I want it back" thoughts firmly behind the door :-) 

46 and out

Posted on:
Tue, 19/09/2017 - 21:14

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

I forgot to mention, have you considered joining the 2017 Challenge thread on the "Overcoming Problem Gambling" forum. I find it gives me a bit of a boost each week when the updates are posted and I see how many GF days I have accumulated. Some of the GF days others have accumulated are pretty inspirational too.  If you post your current number of GF days and ask to join, the person that kindly puts time in to run it will start your GF count at that point. You just have to check in once a week via a quick post.  Works for me anyway.   46 and out. 

Posted on:
Tue, 19/09/2017 - 21:21

Xenedra

Joined:
2017-08-16

 

Well done smashed. 

I'm finding it so hard I really am, still GF but literally can think of nothing else, especially this time of night!

Any tips on staying positive and gf? 

I am also paying a large amount of my salary to a DMP which is a really bitter pill to swallow as the majority of my debt (and the whole cause of my financial troubles, we are allowed a manageable amount of debt) are caused by gambling. 

I worked out that since April this year Iv gambled £5,230 and won £2050! All that loss!! 

Posted on:
Wed, 20/09/2017 - 07:52

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Thank You 46 & Xenedra.

I think everyone is different when it comes to stopping, a lot people go down the old skool route of sitting in a circle and standing up saying "I am Joe Bloggs, and I am a Compulsive Gambler" and then everyone clapping, for me I couldnt do that route. Or cutting up cards, cant go that route, it's just me and my daughter we need to get by, I have no family close by, my Mum is not far but we dont see eye to eye but thats another story. On the 13th of August, Gambling had beat me and was laughing as I smashed up stuff(hence the name) and left me with a massive debt with my head in my hands and thought he will be back. But that day was enough and said to myself that was the last day ever. We are the side of gambling that the industry likes to be here having our little moan ups, saying we done this we lost this and done that, but we are contained here a few hundered ish. We are not allowed to mention Bookmakers here as Gamcare is funded by them, I would love to do a post especially my very last gambling session showing the deposits and the mad scale of the bets placed, I know its my own fault I did it, but as a video mentioned here it was unlawful hypnotism as if I had more funds I would of kept on going. The profits the main players make is astronomical. We are the now, but the future is worse as technology makes it possible to gamble anywhere and anytime and the main players are laughing as people are losing hundreds on the way to work, chasing last nights losses.

Posted on:
Wed, 20/09/2017 - 08:06

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

We are all individuals mostly upset with ourselves, but a few have tried before made YouTube videos but any sort of view count or popularity and they stop. The gambling industry is a beast that cant be stopped by a few individuals and say anything over the line and you will be stopped, now mostly YouTube is filled with streamers promoting Gambling, and the problem/compulsive videos vanish. I like what Gamcare has done for me it has helped me, but Forums are old skool 90's media. And the main players dont mind us all here having a moan up, but if only a few started making proper videos like that Australian one on addiction and went in deep that would rustle a few feathers, went deep into addiction in the UK not from some ex footballer who was addicted but from us then see, have a good morning.

PS: Xenedra your posts help a lot of people me included. Thank You.

Posted on:
Wed, 20/09/2017 - 18:16

Xenedra

Joined:
2017-08-16

Hi smashed, 

It inspires me to keep going when I read about others and their stories such as your self, especially your enthusiasm to forget this life and seek a better alternative.

Abstinence is easy for me at the moment as I have £1.08 in the bank. Tests come again when it's payday. 

I have better days than others. But thinking of gambling still excites me and I really don't know why?! As when I'm gambling in devestated with myself?! 

Keep going smashed, your doing great. 

Posted on:
Wed, 20/09/2017 - 18:38

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

 

You've raised some really good points in your last post Smashed. 

There's a huge imbalance of gambling / peril-of-gambling sites/videos etc. on the internet.

And as you day, these forums are good but are they enough? I can't help looking at the 'Success Stories' part of the forums. There ain't many. Nor compared to the hundreds of gambling diaries; it implies a very low success rate. (No excuse not to try and go gambling free - note to self, and other determined readers)

The patterns here are all too familiar. There's a peak at the end of a given month, as a ream of posts / new diaries lament spending all their money after payday. Then the mid-month lull, when the philosophical "I'm skint but won't gamble again" posts appear. And then the peak at month's end when it all goes all Pete Tong again ... "never again, etc."

Heck, I'm not being judgemental here - I've been here MANY times. It's just so sad to see. Time and time and time again.

And, like you, I wonder - can Gamcare, perhaps, do more, or something different? Do forums still have the same impact? Don't get me wrong, they most certainly have a place - I'm a supporter - and, of course, there's chat, phones, counselling on offer etc. but is there anything else...? 

That's what I wonder. 

 

Posted on:
Wed, 20/09/2017 - 21:22

Xenedra

Joined:
2017-08-16

I love the forum and I do feel connected here and I love reading others stories and knowing I'm not alone in this isolating situation...BUT...I am also guilty of feeling much more able to quit this addiction when I'm poor...pay day will come round and it will be bittersweet. 

I would accept more help!! 

 

Posted on:
Wed, 20/09/2017 - 21:35

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Im not ungrateful for the forums at all, but I find it lost in a time warp a little bit, you can’t even IM on the forums. Your not allowed to mention bookmakers or online sites and the chat runs for an hour where it seems just to be there very 90’s. In the month I have been around most folk are churning out the same old set advice time and time again. Do Gamcare have specialist advisors in certain types of gambling addiction, does someone who was addicted say 10 years ago and stopped understand todays addict.
Xendera I know you played slots so say for example what did you play Wizard of Oz, Twin Spin, Starburst, Cleopatra, Jack And The Beanstalk, Raging Rhino, Super X and so on and so on, find out the games that gave you that big dopamine rush and then work from there or the 2 bonus symbol tease, explore the addiction to find the cure. Mearly just saying give your money and cards to someone else cant work for a lot of us.
If I was addicted to winning I would of never ever reversed, in my head loads of times I would say I’ll collect when I get to this figure but never ever did.
Myself personally I have figured I was addicted to the game be it Slots or Roulette, and now from the outside looking in most of them are the same game just with different graphical skins. But I was addicted to beating them or at least getting one over on them and of course at times it would reel me in and I think I had it sussed I knew it, I knew when the bonus was coming in, I knew where the ball would land I was smart I could call it, I knew the game, but the game knew when it was time to F me over. And a lot of us won’t make it to the final stage, the last boss and be lucky enough to say GAME OVER.

Posted on:
Wed, 20/09/2017 - 23:46

Xenedra

Joined:
2017-08-16

I had favourite slots, I like Stinking rich, raging rhino and kingdom of wealth. 

But to be honest. Gambling filled my time, time when I was lonely, upset, or happy and celebrating! 

Money was here or there, I can switch between playing £1 a spin to £5 depending on the game and if I got a good line win or bonus on one slot then il play that slot to death again to try and recreate that moment. Eventually I'd move on. 

It's only been slots for me. No interest in roulette (don't understand how you bet to win?) slots are easy, my job and personal life is hard at times. I think that says a lot! 

Posted on:
Thu, 21/09/2017 - 07:01

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

I remember Raging Rhino always being my first slot of choice. Raging Rhino is a very high variance game, where it can either drain your money fast or give you a massive win. I used to start with that @ 80p a spin waiting for those diamonds to land and get that big win to build up the balance. The hours flying by switching between slots, thinking damn its 3am I really should go to sleep now. Hooked like a fish, hypnotised, addicted, a zombie clicking the mouse "I'll stop after the next bonus" "I'll stop after a win over 50x" or "I'll stop when the balance gets to this" "I'll withdraw at X" then its 6am and youve had no sleep at all, addicted to a point where you dont really care.

Getting divorced and having access to money opened the floodgates for me I had freedom I could do whatever I wanted, what did I want, to win big probably, but was it, I wanted to beat an unbeatable machine a Rhino, a 7, a diamond, a 10 a Jack a Queen. My life was crazy after my divorce and gambling was my new friend it would give me free stuff, deposit 100 and win 500 easy, free money while having fun waiting for Dorothys slippers or Glinda's bubble, what an idiot, lost in a world of make believe.

In a quest to make my life better for myself and my daughter Ive made it worse, but secretly thats how the addiction likes you to be, another one trapped, a few of us will get out but not many. I'm out but for how long, how much really do you want to quit, you have to be determined beyond belief and its very f in difficult. But another day passes and just another day is good enough for now. Everyone have a good day.

Posted on:
Thu, 21/09/2017 - 12:32

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1o28A_qTFIo

Gambling talking to you, about a fruit machine but relates to online too.

Posted on:
Sat, 23/09/2017 - 02:09

changemylife

Joined:
2016-11-02

Hi Smashed. Your #27 post is really descriptive and emphasises not only the struggle against the power of the on-line slots, but also the need to look forward. We all know that going back to our old ways will bring further heartache and loss.

You have shown a special love for your daughter which is amazing.

The urges to gamble will continue to be a thorn in our side but we will continue to say no and get on with our lives. Just remember, if we ever got back into gambling and lost another 10k over the next 10 years.

Keep that in mind and plan to spend that 10k on holidays, family day's out and more.

Posted on:
Sat, 23/09/2017 - 05:19

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Thanks changemylife, I feel lucky to be out for now. I know gambling had me, seriously had me entangled in it's web. I have a debt sentance created by it, I was sentanced to 5 years, 260 weeks, or 1825 days. A big sentance for a few clicks of a mouse, the first 10 or so days I was angry with myself, but learning about why I got so addicted, delving deeper into my head, realising I was lost in a world of make believe, I am a better person all round on this side of the fence.

Phil McQuire has a really good blog, some poweful stuff on there, worth a look.

https://poker-gambling-addiction.blogspot.co.uk/

I took this quote from his blog:

The tactics adopted by casinos that influence and encourage repetitive behaviour are clever, sophisticated and cunning. They enslave new gamblers and reinforce patterns of behaviours for existing gamblers

Posted on:
Mon, 25/09/2017 - 11:04

Forum admin

Joined:
2010-11-01

Hi Smashed, Xenedra, Mixer and others

Thanks for sharing your views on this thread. If anyone has any ideas for new services which GamCare could offer we'd love to hear them - post them in the Feedback section or email [email protected]

Regarding the lack of IM in the chat room - we took a deliberate decision not to allow that as we want to keep discussions within the main group rather than have people break off into private unmoderated discussions. However we do facilitate forum and chat users to connect by email as well. 

Many thanks for all the feedback. 

Deirdre

Forum Admin

Posted on:
Tue, 26/09/2017 - 17:58

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Been angry for the past few days, I know why. I want my money back. I'm looking at it like 1 week of every 4 I work is for free to pay back my stupidity. On Friday my daughter smashed her phone by accident and anyone who has a teenager knows that them being without a phone is well just not good. I cant get it fixed till Friday and the reason is I've ran out of cash, I do blame myself, but this is why recovery is hard. As your mind will say we can easy get that back, were already in the sch it so lets keep going. It's hard today 44 days in. Annoyed that I should have but have not because I wasted it, still going through this internally and today is one of those days where the dirty gambling secret is showing itself.

Posted on:
Thu, 28/09/2017 - 11:32

changemylife

Joined:
2016-11-02

Smashed - You have 44 days behind you which is a real show of determination.

Life can seem so unfair. We gambled coz we wanted more. We believe that we are worth more; than having to struggle financially, balancing family life whilst working our socks off.

Then at times it seems like gambling is the only way to get more money. But we must remember all the losses, and realise that when the losses occurred we had a similar mindset.

There has to be another way. If you have a D.M.P, surely the budget should include an amount for unforseen expenses (such as the mobile phone).

To feel at ease with financial affordability is vital for recovery. If the bank cannot help, perhaps friends or family. Try not to focus on the amount that you have lost gambling and the time it may take to pay it off.

You and your families health and wellbeing is more important. Focus on today, and tomorrow. What will be will be.

Posted on:
Thu, 28/09/2017 - 14:26

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

I have to forget about it, I know, it just burns thats all, somedays are better than others and I'm glad ive resisted temptation as its been there a lot especially in the last 7 days. But I never ever want to gamble again. Roll on day 50.

Posted on:
Thu, 28/09/2017 - 17:36

ste_ven

Joined:
2012-05-11

Hi Smashed

I called my diary "I can't change my past, only my future"... I started 5 years ago, drifted away, back again, drifted away.... the fact remains though, once it is gone it is gone. I try to focus on each day as it comes, I try not to get depressed about my past and not anxious about the future.

When temptation comes calling head straight on here and post, read, reply - I find that reading over my own posts/mistakes and realising that I am not alone. Any tempting thoughts will have been had by countless others before me and they ALWAYS lead to the same place... no money, depression, physical and mental impact on me and my loved ones.... well no more mate, no more.

Stay safe and GF.

Posted on:
Thu, 28/09/2017 - 18:02

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Hi ste_ven i just read your diary, 5 years trying to rid the demon of compulsive gambling off your back, and 5 years thats the debt for me actually 4 years 10 months tomorrow. Does your post 5 years ago when youve said youve had enough seem like a lifetime ago or just the other day ?

Posted on:
Mon, 02/10/2017 - 09:24

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

50 days have passed since the realisation gambling beat me, time passes and like if I committed a crime I have to pay for a crime I committed on myself, clicking deposit. Knowing I shouldn't but so hooked by the addiction I didn't care. Thanks to everyone on here who has helped me get to the bullseye as I doubt I would be here if it wasn't for all the support and advice from the forums. The 23rd of November will be 100 and I'm looking to that.

Posted on:
Mon, 02/10/2017 - 19:57

Stephen 67

Joined:
2017-05-10

Congratulations Smashed 50 Days GF...stephen 

Posted on:
Tue, 03/10/2017 - 03:13

changemylife

Joined:
2016-11-02

Well done Smashed on your 50 days+. Actually I really like your last post - it seems like you've reached a defining moment. If we really accept that gambling has beat us. That we're not going to get the money back. And that we will carry on with our lives - not with bitterness and resentment, but with hope, serenity and purpose.

Posted on:
Tue, 03/10/2017 - 11:15

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Thanks Stephen & CML, I think I definately had the bitterness and resentment stage, but as the days pass you accept what you did and strengh comes from never ever wanting to handing over a penny piece to gambling again, to help others, as we all know wanting too and getting out are miles apart. And "I wish" or "If Only" are not bringing your money back. It's Gone. And as hard as it is to accept you have too, there is more to life than money, and only when you stop(properly stop) can you see that. Like in the Revenant gambling left me for dead, but somehow i've survived. 51 days an counting.

 

Posted on:
Tue, 03/10/2017 - 18:18

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Hi Smashed thanks for popping by and well done on 51 days, I can relate to many of your posts, getting over the losses is really hard but I found acceptance the only way to move forwards.  Take care and here's to staying GF S:) 

Posted on:
Fri, 06/10/2017 - 12:19

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

To stop gambling you have to be very very focused that you really really want to stop. Gambling is all around us and no one could ever understand the mindset of someone who would gamble thier entire months wages in 30 minutes, for what initially started out as nicking a quick £50-100 pounds off a casino. There are so many new casinos popping up, looks like all the operators are jumping in sponsoring You tubers too promote thier casino, and none of them are spinning 20p stakes, like I said before a few will get out but loads more will be suckered in to the lure of free cash. Seeing young people on here wanting to give up, and throw the towel in lately is alarming, and that is just the few that come on here. It's crazy what being addicted to chasing a pipe dream can do. Day 54. Thanks again to the strong posters who help people who come here on the brink, your doing something very very positive.
 

Posted on:
Tue, 10/10/2017 - 01:15

changemylife

Joined:
2016-11-02

Hi Smashed. Well done on your continued abstinence from the dreaded gambling that has taken so much from us in the past.

You clearly pay special attention to detail which will definitely pay dividends. You are really going for it and this will reap the benefits.

A belated thank you for your post on my 'insecurity' thread. Your summary of a gamblers experience in the zone, fighting the urges, defining the thought processes are so accurate.

Onwards and upwards mate. Hope life brings you rich rewards.

Posted on:
Tue, 10/10/2017 - 08:08

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Thanks changemylife great posts as always from your good self. I am at the stage where I dont like gambling at all being here for a few months you see daily how it wrecks more and more lives, but it is something that will never go away so like a work collegue you dont like a neighbour you just stay away from them, live your life as if they dont exist don't ***** about them just let them do thier thing and get on with yours, set your goals and acheive them, take responsibility for your own actions. When you gamble, especially if you lose its easy to blame others, but thats gambling addiction taking over your mindset, and when you win , I dont need anyone if I want an extra £500 I can win it easy. Onwards and upwards lifting the curse.

Posted on:
Thu, 12/10/2017 - 05:33

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

It's 5am and the counter has clicked over to 60 days, two months since I came here a man completely broken by a compulsive gambling addiction that had me locked inside its car travelling at high speeds where I was hanging on to its every word, I half knew where we were heading straight into a wall off a cliff, but I couldnt get out. Luckily somehow I got out on August 13th 2017, but gambling wasnt happy that I got out and often comes looking for me telling me that this time will be different that we will take it steady next time and has sent his FREE £20, 50 FREE SPINS, 100% BONUS MATCH, 10% WAGERING, FREE SUPER SPINS, HOLIDAY DRAW, IPHONE, IPAD, £50,000 DRAW just come back this time it will be different. But I'm not getting back in I never want to be there again a place where the avenues run out and you ask yourself the "What's the Point" question, gambling can put you in that place where you dont even care about being alive. It was hard admitting to myself that I was deeply addicted, I knew I had a problem but who wants to admit to being an addict, you dont want to hear that, an addict is looked down upon a fool a stupid person an irresponsible person, but the hardest person to admit it too is yourself, and when I did that two months ago I realised that I could get out of this. A lot of people on here have looked out for me and helped me get to the 60 day mark and I am truly grateful. As in the early days you always are looking back at the destruction and not forwards, as you cant comprehend or justify the money wasted and the time you gave to the addiction. Stopping gambling gives you more than money back, it gives you your focus back, your drive back, your precious time back and more than anyting else you take your life back.

Posted on:
Thu, 12/10/2017 - 10:09

Muststop123

Joined:
2017-10-03

Huge congratulations on the 60 days. A great achievement.

Your words on trying to look forward rather than back are somethig I am going to try and take on board.

Posted on:
Fri, 13/10/2017 - 23:39

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

Hi Smashed. 

Thanks for posting on my diary recently and looking out for me. We started out on this journey pretty much at the same time so its great to see you achieve your 60 days GF milestone.  Your last post was a great read and you are so right that we get so much more back in life other than money when we don't gamble.  Keep up the great work mate.

46 and Out

Posted on:
Sat, 14/10/2017 - 06:40

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

I think compulsive gambling in my head was searching for something I didnt need, I already had it, but I was lost in the world of "You Need" but I wanted things I did not need. In all of us we all look for the persuit of happyness, I had enough money to live well but in the persuit of wanting more I created a finacial mess. After being married for 14 years I thought I needed to bounce straight back into another relationship and went looking for it, I didnt and went into a relationship I shouldnt of and created another mess. I think you get brainwashed into thinking you know what you want, you live a life of trying to show face when really if your happy in yourself who cares. I think about the Gambling me and realise what a fool he was looking for free cash for stuff he never needed but had convinced himself he definately needed, wanted something for nothing, which is the pull of gambling, he would even buy crisps he didnt like because it had win £10,000 on the packet. I know i'm not in the clear but if you stop gambling or any addiction come to that, I think the key to truly stopping and staying clear is to undertand yourself, question yourself as to why and how and what you wanted, and if like me a lot of the time it was for material stuff, ask yourself did you really need it. Have a good weekend everyone.

Posted on:
Sun, 15/10/2017 - 23:43

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Great post Smashed, I know my gambling was primarily fuelled by greed. I've never been 'well off' and a few decent wins left me hungry for more. But unsurprisingly I'm now in debt when I should have taken a good look and been satisfied with what I had in my life. But hey the GF life is the way forward and I'm more grateful than ever for the non material things in my life. Take care S :) 

Posted on:
Tue, 17/10/2017 - 00:26

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Thank You Sharon.

I think because we live in a time where we are led to believe more is better, we should be greedy and get more cars, houses clothes, phones, food whatever it may be we need more. So we would play slot games called Road to Riches, or Millionaires Row or whatever and if we win we can get stuff too. Since stopping I've done loads of evaluating of myself, what I need and what I want, and getting off the gambling train has made me think there are other trains I need to get off and making plans for who I know and can be, if I apply the same mindset as I have for stopping gambling, right how do I get off this dead end job train. Wish me luck.

Posted on:
Wed, 18/10/2017 - 11:18

changemylife

Joined:
2016-11-02

Hey Smashed you're doing great. Looking forward and leaving the gambling behind. As well as analysing various aspects of your life that you may feel can be improved upon. As you say - get out of a dead end job. We must believe that we can find an occupation that it is both rewarding and enjoyable.

Many of us lost our way and became disillusioned with life. Wanting things that we thought might make us happy. But, as it is often the case, when we get something materialistic - the novelty quickly wears off.

Keep on doing the right things and your life will continue to get better.

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