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Posted on:
Tue, 03/10/2017 - 20:46

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

There is nothing wrong with being light-hearted in life - and I love a laugh - but in my view if you got into the state I did with gambling - it's no joke.

I understand the kind of gallows humour some people have - especially in the chat room but in my experience with other compulsive behaviours I have put myself through (and others perhaps) I realise that this is a very serious issue.

Did I want to continue the way I was going with all the self-deceit, lying, borrowing, pawning, stealing (not-criminally but morally)? No I didn't.

Fundamentally I wanted to stop feeling so awful and save my marriage/home/job/friendships/respect from friends/family and start having self-respect.

Many people including myself have had that buzz when we've first stopped but I never set myself unrealistic goals like "for the rest of my life".

We have a limited life span and surely making the most of those precious hours is more important than gambling or other behaviours?

Stopping anything destructive can be easy initially but sustained maintanance seems hard for many including me - hence ODAAT.

Best wishes, Phil.

Posted on:
Wed, 04/10/2017 - 07:27

[email protected]

Joined:
2014-12-31

One question on the disease thing?
So you both chose to become addicted then?

Posted on:
Wed, 04/10/2017 - 09:11

ALAN 135

Joined:
Before 2009

Morning Phil sorry to post on your diary but I'm assuming Dan ( [email protected]'s ) commeng was aimed at me as well ? .

Morning Dan :)) . 

Firstly I don't think I mentioned " Disease " on any post's but if I'm wrong I stand corrected ? .However if you wish to label Compulsive Gambling a disease then why not eh , what I said was that It's not an " illness " in the sense of the word you would use for somebody in hospital recovering or as was in my case my Dad having cancer or Mum having a stroke and I can assure you niether of them " Chose to have those ilnesses/ disease whatever you want to label it . 

The way I look at gambling is that it's simply a " Habit " that got out of hand because of the whole reward scheme that the chemical's in your brain relaese and I'm not going to big it up by labeling it a disease /illness , if you enjoy or get pleasure from anything in life , drinking / smoking / drugs sex and sausage roll's it will have the same effect .

A disease would in my way of looking at it be in line with " The plague " or " Ebola " and I can assure you that I didn't ctach either of those in the bookies either ? . 

Maybe we have alot of different veiws on thing's and I have no problem with that as were all entitled to an opinion but what do you get from just sitting back " Picking holes " in other peoples post's when you don't agree with something , surely it would be more polite to be an active member of a forum offering support for those that are struggling or are actually getting something from this place ? . 

Anyway I hope you have a good day and no doubt we'll speak again  :)) 

Sorry Phil once again for highjacking your thread :((

Alan 

 

Posted on:
Wed, 04/10/2017 - 10:33

Dean0

Joined:
2017-09-14

Hopefully phil is cool with me jumping in also?  I think when people describe it as an illness it’s more in the sense of being a mental one not the same as per say a physical illness which can be seen, ie cancer.  A mental illness being like depression and such go unseen if you look at depression as an illness they have striking similarities to being a compulsive gambler maybe they go hand in hand? For reference I saw a video put out by chester beddingfields wife he was mentally unwell the video was 3 days prior to his death. He was happily playing with his children laughing joking around no sign of what was going on in his mind. Know obvious signs of illness just like you read from the fandf there was nothing to say he was the way he was.  I’ll leave it there for now as break is over.

Congratulations also on 600 days phil 

 

Posted on:
Wed, 04/10/2017 - 10:43

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

No problem Alan and Wentworth (and thank you for the compliment).

I think I've made my view clear but to reiterate - any kind of destruction behaviour can MAKE you feel ill (it certainly did with me) but I don't think it starts OFF as an illness which is why I agree wholeheartedly with Alan.

In terms of it BECOMING a mental health problem - yep I believe that's true.

I'm not even commenting on the word "disease" (yes...there are different definitions of the word) other than to say none of my friends "caught" compulsive gambling by being around me!

Posted on:
Wed, 04/10/2017 - 12:01

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

For some people stopping a destructive behaviour IS a matter of life or death and being in debt can be hugely stressful for people whatever the cause.

Dan posted elsewhere about "stop talking about money and debt" but unfortunately some of us got into quite a state financially and initially need to get that off our chests.

Although I agree with Dan's point to some extent, I think most will post about the state they are in financially (and sums lost on specific bets/rolls - whatever) until they make some sort of decision to tackle debts they accumulated through gambling and accept the money is never coming back so there's no point complaining about £5,000 on the 3.20 at Kempton etc.

There are solutions to tackling debt which give you peace of mind instead of burying your head in the sand and hope the letters and phone calls etc. will stop - they won't. Creditors and debt collectors are relentless but not completely unapproachable.

If it takes 30 years to clear your debts at a manageable and affordable monthly rate that might be an irritant but surely better than having some of those companies on your back because I know from experience they will not back away.

Posted on:
Wed, 04/10/2017 - 13:47

ALAN 135

Joined:
Before 2009

I tell you what Phil maybe it is a disease or virus after all ?

I seemed to resemble a zombie at times as I stumbled from bookie to bookie in search of the " Fobt's " and once inside it was full of people just like me :(( . Or it could have just been something in all those enticing "free Coffee's " I used to be handed upon arrival and I use the term "free " loosely ! . 

Off to watch  " The Walking dead " Now :)) 

 

Posted on:
Wed, 04/10/2017 - 22:06

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

 

Alan you never fail to make me smile ! You sir just keeps on hitting the nail on its head ! People like you helps us with our recovery ! Phil buddy ! You have come a long way with your recovery and still have the heart  to help all the new Members here who are just starting the battle . I mean particularly in the chat room you've always been fair and inspiring ! 

I have a request  for you [email protected] as I have never seen you positive here lately . I mean i know you have been gamble free for a long time . Perhaps you can give us advice / strategies on how to stay GF rather than cherry picking on other members diary . Maybe start a topic that would all help the new ones here or something like that instead of coming across a little too sharp :) 

 

Posted on:
Wed, 04/10/2017 - 22:11

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

.

Posted on:
Thu, 05/10/2017 - 14:25

ALAN 135

Joined:
Before 2009

Hey Phil , " Have you been using that invisible ink again on the above post " ? :)) 

Hope your ok mate :))

Posted on:
Thu, 05/10/2017 - 20:27

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

Im going to explain why I deleted my post on my own diary this morning for my own self-reflection plus anyone else who is interested plus the bigger picture..

I am not a very confident person (despite achieving academically and professionally to some extent despite my dyslexia) which is improving but I KNOW I am not and never will have skin like a rhino like some forum users who drop bombs and then disappear with no explanation for their comments. I consider those people - bullies.

My posts about "disease", "illness" and debt were serious and not dismissive towards other's points of view. The post I deleted was about that and I deleted because I had no confidence that there would be anything helpful (obviously from some forum users) or constructive comments from people who should know better who act like the playground bully picking on the skinny kid with National Health glasses.

My attitude in the chat room, for example, is to read and respond or not respond if I don't think I have anything to offer. I don't tell people what to do but I do say there are alternatives that might suit people other than GA.

It's not about having a go at GA because I have ultimate respect for people who go to meetings, benefit from them BUT have respect for other alternative approaches to stopping any destructive behaviour.

Did I get on my knees this morning and pray to a higher power (God) for a bet-free day? No, I didn't.

What I did do was make a commitment in my heart and mind not to gamble today, worked, helped a friend get home from hospital after surgery as a day patient, had a pint and a bit of fun, listened to my wife who had a tough day and had one cigarette (Nicotine Anonymous here I come!!!) and am now watching the England game.

An opinion? Tomorrow. Long post! Best wishes, Phil.

Posted on:
Thu, 05/10/2017 - 21:29

ALAN 135

Joined:
Before 2009

I didn't actually see a post this morning Phil , just the blank page so have no idea what the content was .

That being said I can pretty much guess which way it would have gone ?

My opinion for what it's worth , just switch off let it lie and move on with your recovery my friend .

Some thing's will never change and nor will some people's attitude .

Have a good night mate and keep doing what works :)) 

Posted on:
Thu, 05/10/2017 - 21:52

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

Thank you Alan as always.

Posted on:
Thu, 05/10/2017 - 22:32

[email protected]

Joined:
2014-12-31

I thought it was a perfectly legitimate question in respect to what was posted. I neither implied whether i agreed with you both or not. As it happens i dont & neither do the vast majority of medical associations across the globe, but that is neither here nor there. I asked you if it isnt a disease/illness then were you choosing to lie, deceive to those around you on a daily basis ( which neither of you answered). If you did as your post suggests because its a choice then this would make you a sociopath ( also an illness by the way).
There seems to be some confusion between physical health & mental health. If youre going to deny addiction is a mental health issue then im afraid youre going to have to lump in, depression, anxiety, ocd, bi-polar & a thousand other mental health problems as being a choice too.
Crying bully is laughable, i simply asked a question.

Sars, sigh. Think you will find i have written more ways to combat addiction on this site in the last 3 years than almost all the other posters combined.
Again i find myself having to fend off personal insults rather than talk about the issues & people wonder why i post seldomly

Posted on:
Thu, 05/10/2017 - 22:48

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Hi Phil, feels a bit like deja vu but I've found you a continual support since being on the forum,  also it-s your diary so you can post what you want non? We're all travelling different roads but have the same destination take care S:)

Posted on:
Thu, 05/10/2017 - 23:18

ALAN 135

Joined:
Before 2009

I sometimes wonder why you post at all , if only to drop the bomb in amongst the crowd ? . 

I'm not sure if you see it this way Dan but as I've always maintained your posts are thown into the mix every month or so with it seem's the sole intention of winding folk up who seem to be doing  just fine '. I'm not even sure why or what you get from this practice ?  does it give you a kick in some way that your missing from gamblng perhaps ? It's not an insult by the way just an observation , you do come across as a bully at times  pushing the whole GA concept on people as if there's no other way forward  when it comes to dealing with this addiction , you made the choice to follow that route and it's worked great for you and your to be applauded  for your gamble free time that youv'e accumalated but it's not for everyone and you have no right to foister your opinions on people that choose to take a different route and to be honest your probably the ony one on here who attends GA that does , let people make up their own minds and if were all wrong then you can sit in your Ivory tower and have a good chuckle to yourself  ! .

And to answer your question , I don't believe gambling addiction to be an illness nor a disease but I'm quite happy to say that the continued habit of gambling would lead to a feeling of being unwell with stress related conditions , I chose to gamble , I chose to borrow money for that purpose and yes I chose to lie to cover my failings , so I guess that leaves me to assume that I'm a sociopath then , which would apply to every man woman and child in this country at some point because who hasen't lied ?  but you always do post in a way that make you " Dammed if you do and Dammed if you don't "

Your a clever man with with a far greater knowledge on your chosen suject than I could ever achieve and I bow to your greatness but please can we have enough of the silly mind games you play with people  .

Sorry Phil for taking over your diary .   

Posted on:
Fri, 06/10/2017 - 10:39

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

It's fine Alan and I again  agree whole-heartedly with your post above. The problem I see with Dan is that he seems immune to criticism - if that's his idea of "recovery" - fine.

Dan - I think if you'd read my other posts properly you would have observed I said I didn't believe compulsive and destructive behaviour starts OFF as illness but undoubtedly LEADS to a person FEELING ill - whether physically OR mentally. I never said anything insulting in any of my recent posts about disease etc.

You cannot compare the use of drugs, alcohol or FOBTs to a genuine mental health condition such as OCD - no way and I say that with 100 per cent of the confidence I normally lack.

I've also made it clear here and in the chat room that I was a liar and sneaky s-hit on a daily basis - usually to get money to gamble. Do I live my life like that now? No.

Posted on:
Fri, 06/10/2017 - 10:39

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

Thank you Sharon for your post - much appreciated. Best wishes, Phil.

Posted on:
Fri, 06/10/2017 - 11:08

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

lol you're diagnosing people now as well Dan??!!!!

Posted on:
Fri, 06/10/2017 - 11:16

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

You're welcome Phil, keep doing what you're doing S:)

Posted on:
Fri, 06/10/2017 - 12:26

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

I've also made it clear that I believe in my case that I was addicted to distraction - not being happy in my own skin so seeking escapism from my thoughts and feelings.

Posted on:
Fri, 06/10/2017 - 20:14

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

-------------- That's a line in terms of drawing a line under recent stuff. I don't want to be moderated again but I will continue to express my opinions in a polite and open-minded way on my diary. Best wishes, Phil

Posted on:
Sat, 07/10/2017 - 20:31

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

I drew a line but wanted to make one final comment about recent posts on my diary because I think it is pertinent.

I'm shy but lucky enought to have a very interesting small circle of friends - electrician, teacher, retired, builder, skiver (!) and also a psychology professor etc. We all get on very well despite our different backgrounds and professions.

I'm interested in lots of different things - always have been curious about lots of things like psychology.

I've known Professor X for 10 years and besides his academic career he assesses people who have been described as psychopathic or sociopathic in prisons mostly to see if they are safe to be released and believe me without him breaching anonymity he had/has some scary experiences.

I asked him today: do you think P&S are illnesses? He paused and said that's a very interesting question but ultimately "no I don't".

I asked him IF he thought they were illnesses - are they treatable? He again took his time to answer and said: "Very rarely"

We then moved on to compulsive behaviour to do with anything (obviously from my point of view gambling) and we agreed that most people in the grips of something like gambling are liars, thieves, cheats but especially in HIS opinion are not P or S - because even when we are (well me anyway) in the grips of something destructive we still care to some extent - I know I did with shame, self-disgust etc.

Psychopaths and Sociopaths don't care. I believe that because my friend has been assessing both for 20+ years and is highly respected in his field.

Sorry Dan, unless you have the expertise of my friend - suggesting some or a lot of compulsive gamblers are Sociopathic if they don't agree with your approach is not something I agree with and very ill-thought.

Phil

Posted on:
Sat, 07/10/2017 - 21:08

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Post edited (by Mixer ;) )

Posted on:
Sat, 07/10/2017 - 21:31

Bal

Joined:
2015-04-18

Hmmm.

Post 824 you are drawing a line and 825 you want the last word.

Your diary i suppose.

Move on Phil - its old news

Posted on:
Sat, 07/10/2017 - 21:53

Dean0

Joined:
2017-09-14

This could be a first for me in my history on gamcare. But I’m gonna stick up for dan aka mr marmite (love that title) 

I don’t think his original question was unreasonable or was it an attack. I think it’s more trying to provoke your thoughts give you a different view. We can’t all have the same views as it would be boring. If we all had one view what if we were wrong?  To ask a question if I may have you come to one assumption one defining route or have you explored all avenues?  I’m not saying either is right or wrong but I am open to every possibility. I can say that I highly doubt I got addicted to gambling just because it was fun. So if it wasn’t for the fun why was it I started gambling?  Correct me if I’m wrong but phil you mentioned you had ocd? Would you say or not say your gambling started somehow through suffering from ocd? 

No arguments just straight up adult to adult conversation.

Posted on:
Sat, 07/10/2017 - 21:54

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

I made it clear why I was expressing one final point after "drawing a line" as it was to do with the conversation I had with my friend earlier. I am moving on and with ultimate respect I don't tell people what they can and can't post on their diary. Cheers, Phil.

Posted on:
Sat, 07/10/2017 - 21:56

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

I was diagnosed with OCD when I was I was 23 and I started gambling when I was 40 and stopped when I was 43. I am now 45.

Posted on:
Sat, 07/10/2017 - 22:21

Dean0

Joined:
2017-09-14

I had ocd when I was 18 from the age of 16 , 18 being the age I started hitting the gambling industry hard never diagnosed with ocd not even the web was available for diagnosis. Gambling compulsively good bye ocd . Connection? Most likely 

I could write all night the rituals I had most you’d laugh about but it was time consuming I can tell you that much. Addiction saved me from the dam thing in a way. Lining up bottles and switching on the light a few times would of been a lot cheaper come to think of it . Well not with today’s electric prices though?  Thank god I do neither anymore. As always phil best whishes

Posted on:
Sun, 08/10/2017 - 10:03

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

Sorry I didn't answer your questions last night W. To reiterate as I've said elsewhere, I have no problem with other people's approaches and am open to most. If people feel think this issue is a disease/illness - fine although I disagree.

I believe I started gambling because I was desperately unhappy with the state I was in with inappropriately treated, chronic and desperately distressing long-term OCD. Taking anti-depressants, anti-psychotics (people with OCD aren't psychotic by the way) and talking about my childhood didn't help at all.

OCD can wax and wane and I went through periods were I felt relatively well although it was always lurking in the background ready to pounce.

Gambling for me with hindsight was the ultimate inappropriate "distraction" - no buzz involved although the occassional feeling of excitement when I had a very rare win.

I had to fight my butt off to access appropriate treatment for my illness - yes illness because OCD IS an illness and even had a meeting with the chief executive of the local health trust after a writing a letter of complaint) to express my concerns.

Posted on:
Sun, 08/10/2017 - 10:05

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

PS I wouldn't laugh at any rituals - I know the score, believe me.

Posted on:
Sun, 08/10/2017 - 11:26

Dean0

Joined:
2017-09-14

Hi phil,

I’m not writing to disprove any ideas or beliefs. I just like sharing ideas. I’m not claiming to be right and if you ever want me to stop posting on your diary I will that’s fine.

I’m not a physiologist or do I have any degrees in the field. I’ve read various blogs, and spoken with a few people who work on the subject addiction. By the way a famous social media website beginning with t is an awesome place to share ideas on addiction.the community is a lot bigger than over here.

Bit about me I don’t attend ga, haven’t had counselling, no self exclusions , I handle the family finances. I believe in god but I’m not religious or am i an atheist. I am open to the idea of all of the above. Some will help people where as others they won’t. 

Just before I got to my one year bet free date I returned from holiday, and I’d put that much focus on getting myself and everything ready for the holiday I hadn’t seen past it. Head dropped life become mundane again. Wobble comes and I started to think is this it? All that hard work to get a year bet free and this is it?  So I started some research. They say go back and find the reason you started gambling. So I did. A death in the family close (wrote about that one in my diary) not long after came the ocd. I’m sure you know the consequences of the ocd rationale? We don’t save the world if we don’t do the things we do.  Friend introduces me to slots the ocd disappears over night. Suppressed? Which brings my long winded post to an almost conclusion. OCD a mental illness. Addiction the medication. You mentioned you started gambling when you were some what upset? You could say you were depressed? Depression a mental illness? Addiction the tablet. So in a roundabout way addiction isn’t a mental illness but a suppressant for the former.  As I said there’s over 200 mental illnesses and if you read enough diaries you start to see the link between people having at least one.   

Just an idea?

Again best wishes and enjoy your Sunday 

Posted on:
Sun, 08/10/2017 - 12:07

c43herb

Joined:
2015-03-28

I have seen on a nr of threads about ocds and gambling addictions are different. They are on the same thread. I dont see how you can seperate them. Same behaviour as washing your hands to much having fear of spiders or kleptomania etc. It is an obsesssive compulsion dissorder and it (the compulsion) is created by our repetative behaviour. of gambling. Neuro plasticity is where the brain finds new paths of reasembling itself in case of a stroke for example is a way forward to retune and restart. Most psychiatrists beleive that is the way we ev get fixed.  Books on the brain The Mind and The brain (Jeffrey M Schwartz MD) and Thinking Fast And Slow by Daniel Kahneman. Have a good Sunday :)

Posted on:
Sun, 08/10/2017 - 12:40

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

the major differences between a condition like OCD where there is there is no pleasure in having intrusive thoughts or performing rituals and gambling addiction is that for many the latter does bring pleasure, excitement etc.

Posted on:
Sun, 08/10/2017 - 12:43

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

I like your post above W - a good analogy.

.

Posted on:
Sun, 08/10/2017 - 13:09

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

salon.com/2015/06/27/addiction_is_not_a_disease_a_neuroscientist_argues_that_its_time_to_change_our_minds_on_the_roots_of_substance_abuse

This is an interesting article for anyone with an open mind.

Posted on:
Sun, 08/10/2017 - 14:17

c43herb

Joined:
2015-03-28

This is your room so I won´t push the issue but you know what. The pleasure at some stage allways becomes a problem and is drowned with intrusive thoughts so I respectfully dissagree. Good article.

Posted on:
Sun, 08/10/2017 - 20:05

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

Fundamentally I have no problem with people disagreeing with me like the polite posts yesterday and today above from other forum users and respect their right to disagree with me as I move on and especially with advice from Forum Admin about MY previous behaviour which I've taken on board.

That is totally fine and I respect your views which on my diary I see as constructive criticism and an alternative point of view politely expressed and with no animosity (I've been there and bought the t-shirt hence moderation which I accepted).

I genuinely feel that anyone wanting to stop something destructive like gambling can - with good counsel, honesty, a realistic approach (ODAAT?/GA/Smart Recovery, Counselling) and pay back debts (not get bailed out sorry) can stop but it's not that simple for some of us with underlying issues which we are trying to address.

Best wishes, Phil.

Posted on:
Thu, 12/10/2017 - 12:55

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

I'd love to join today's 2pm chat but unfortunately I have to go the dentist - again. I feel like I'm being experimented on by the student dentists at the dental hospital.

Absolutely hate it and wind myself up before I go. Mind you I've never met anyone who LIKES going to the dentist!

Posted on:
Sun, 15/10/2017 - 20:01

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

I was thinking earlier about inhibitions - particularly alcohol and gambling. i.e. Drinking and thinking somehow you are going to win because your mindset has been changed because of the effects of alcohol.

In my case, I woke up in the morning and even before I'd made a cup of tea looked online at the day's races, made decisions (my choice) and either bet on horses on the internet or in a shop.

My excessive drinking was generally afterwards - the self-disgust, loathing, despair, shame and horror of what I had done again was something I "needed" to block out.

I don't like getting or being drunk - I have a generally low tolerance to alcohol apart from a nice bottle of wine but I did get hammered - not every day - often when I was gambling.

Life is different now. My younger brother who I absolutely love to bits and don't see more than a few times a year stayed a couple of nights and my wife and I went out with him and his new girlfriend last night.

I got to 10 o'clock and told my brother I'd had enough and wanted to go home. He was cool as he was seeing other friends he hadn't seen for a while since he moved. He had a spare key and got back to mine at 3am - fine but not for me!

Posted on:
Sun, 15/10/2017 - 21:42

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

Money and debt isn't an issue for some people and I agree that talking about losses is unhealthy. What I want to say is WOW! I'm down to around £600 in debt management repayments due to gambling. I can see a future, I can see a life, I can see a baby (hopefully), a holiday and being with this lovely woman sat next to me. ODAAT not gambling but nothing wrong about thinking about your future?

Posted on:
Sun, 15/10/2017 - 23:34

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Hi Phil, nice one ref Dmp and total respect to you for having the GF life you want to live. Doing it your way rather than how others think you should be handling recovery. After all not gambling is not gambling. Take care S:)

Posted on:
Mon, 16/10/2017 - 11:32

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

Thank you Sharon and for all your supportive posts. Best wishes, Phil.

Posted on:
Tue, 17/10/2017 - 20:58

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

I have a sense of humour despite what some people might think and understand the light-hearted approach some forum users have.

Elsewhere, as a moderator of a mental health forum where people are waiting for therapy, taking inappropriate medication or having no rapport with a therapist/counsellor, it is not a joke.

The forum has many people in an incredibly distressed and bewildered state - just like here sometimes. Fundamentally the approach is Cognitive Behavourial Therapy (CBT) which is now (maybe not in a few years) recognised as the gold standard treatment especially for anxiety disorders such as OCD, panic attacks, social anxiety etc. and is also starting to be used in compulsive behaviours such as gambling, problem drinking and drug abuse.

Frankly I find that a 12-step fellowship for so many things quite strange - Anorexics and Bulimics Anonymous, OCD Anonymous, Nicotine Anonymous etc.

I'm not against meetings based on AA per se (although I find the steps -created in the 1930s - somewhat antiquated) but I do think a one track approach is unhealthy. I don't have a problem with a "spiritual" approach either but again would suggest that for many people in the 21st century it doesn't appeal.

.I guess my point is that it's a good thing for people to find out what's right for them with advice (not judgement) and support and told about ALL approaches.

Personally, I like Smart Recovery (CBT and science-based) but endorse it as part of a bigger picture.

Posted on:
Mon, 06/11/2017 - 20:49

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

I haven't posted on my diary for a while but the last few days I've felt awful.

Sinusitis and a really painful ear infection.

I am not into meetings and have not had counselling but I have been DWELLING on the past. I don't believe either would help me in a non-arrogant way.

My behaviour, lying, borrowing money, pawning things etc.

I thought I'd moved on from those disgraceful thoughts and feelings but clearly not - or maybe it is because I don't feel well?

Posted on:
Fri, 17/11/2017 - 21:42

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

Again blowing the dust off my diary after not posting for a while.

I've had some great chats with newcomers to this forum recently and obviously the subject of money and debt comes up.

I'm not a 12-stepper but I think even those who are would agree you've got to address the accumulated debts (if you got into debt) by gambling as part of taking personal responsiblity - could be a manageable £2 a week debt management plan (DMP) through Stepchange for example if you don't earn a lot.

Get rid of the letters, phone calls, e-mails, text messages or even knocks on the door.

Creditors just want the money back OR some of the money. They aren't totally unreasonable especially if you have a DMP.

Debt of any kind can be horrendously stressful but the debt a compulsive gambler has is a matter that the individual has to address for peace of mind, "recovery", honesty and renewed self-respect etc.

Best wishes, Phil.

Posted on:
Fri, 17/11/2017 - 22:53

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

I've got to agree with the above Phil. So many find ourselves in trouble with debts through having this addiction.
My good credit rating allowed me to have thousands on numerous credit cards, so from previously not owning one, I ended up with many and my credit rating has now dropped considerably. I now wish they wouldn't have let me have one but they did and I went into zombie mode spinning the reels.
You get to a point when enough is enough. The debt becomes a reality and the pounds you have thrown away are not just numbers plucked from the air.
That debt does not just go away. Stepchange or any other non-profit making company is definitely a good path to take.
It helps in so many ways. Not just by helping you to make 'do able' repayments to your creditors but also in helping you to feel you're back in control. It cuts down on the anxiety caused by demanding letters and phone calls, which in turn leads to a better quality of life. Also by that point, through discussing our finances with others, we hopefully have come to our senses and with lots of effort on our part we do our best to ensure a gamble free future.
Sorry to gatecrash your diary Phil but your post struck me as being helpful to many who have unfortunately got themselves into debt through this heartless addiction. Thanks for raising it x

Posted on:
Sat, 18/11/2017 - 10:04

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

Not gatecrashing at all - I appreciate your feedback Little Miss Lost.

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel regarding the debt I accumulated. Some people may owe more than I did, some less - regardless it has to be paid back in my view unless (for whatever reason) it is impossible to do so.

I remember every time there was post I'd look at the pile and groan because several (if not all) the letters would be from debt collection agencies, the bank because of the unauthorised overdraft or payday loan companies.

It was very, very stressful especially as my wife didn't know the joint bank account was empty and overdrawn (unauthorised) but obviously I've told her everything since I stopped.

That doesn't happen anymore. In fact, I get hardly any post!

Best wishes, Phil.

Posted on:
Sun, 03/12/2017 - 12:43

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

I haven't posted on my diary for sometime as I have nothing exciting to report.

I had a funny moment yesterday - I was watching the Wales game in a pub and twice walked past a fruit machine that somebody had left £1 credit in. I briefly felt (even though I have no idea how to play the things) like pressing play but quickly put it out of my mind.

Anyway as it goes the next person who played the machine won £67. Do I care? Not for me but pleased for him. I'd hate to go back to day 1 over something so daft.

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