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Debt my 1st diary

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#1 Posted on:
Thu, 15/02/2018 - 21:18

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

Doing well so far no gambing 15 days free but i keep thinking of all debt ive created.
Ive made a list of everyone and credit companys i have to pay back which is helping me stay away from gambling . I guess in a way having this debt is like a reminder i must of spent at least 8k or more on stupid bingo in 3 years . Hope one day when my credit is better ill be able to get a consolidation loan and pay it all off and have one payment instead of loads .
Since being gf in the evening ive started watching walking dead box set to take mind off it . I find when im doing nothing or im alone thats when i would usually play so im coming on here instead .Anyway just wanted to share my thoughts . Thanks all

Posted on:
Fri, 16/02/2018 - 12:33

Took a wrong turn

Joined:
2012-02-22

Well done Bamb84 day 16 today, we all keep thinking about the debt we have created but at least you've written this down and can see it, just chip away at it and don't add to it if can.

Walking Dead is brilliant and when you have finished it move straight onto another one and keep your mind occupied when you are lonely to help you not think about gambling oh and keep posting each day if can.

Wilsy

Posted on:
Fri, 16/02/2018 - 15:50

burko26

Joined:
2017-06-16

Well done Bamb84 - keep going, 15 days is a great start. Really pleased for you. Her'es to the next one, and then the one after that

Posted on:
Fri, 16/02/2018 - 21:27

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

Thank you burko and wilsy it has helped writing it down guess it gives me a goal to keep to . Loving this walking dead bit gory lol but good box set so far . Good luck to you both lets stay gf

Posted on:
Sat, 17/02/2018 - 11:41

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

Day 17 of being gf feels good cleaned the house from top to bottom never been so clean lol

Posted on:
Sun, 18/02/2018 - 15:09

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

Day 18 still gf what a relief . Its sad i can see how much i changed when i was gambling all i wanted was to play bingo on my phone without interuptions id even go to bed early to play and wake up first thing in the morning its all i thought about so bloody stupid when i look back at myself but you cannot see it when your in the grips of it nothing can stop you . The only thing that stopped me was realising i was going to lose my family and my home if i didnt stop plus getting into debt. This month i will pay everything but will be short little which is nothing compared to last month when i nearly spent half my wage on gambling how stupid .i wish i never started playing but i guess its never too late for anyone just got to stay focused and think about your family and that you win everyday we dont play and eventually be debt free :)

Posted on:
Sun, 18/02/2018 - 17:34

gazza515

Joined:
2012-03-02

Hi and many thanks for your post on my page. Stay strong, it can be done. Best wishes, Gazza

Posted on:
Mon, 19/02/2018 - 21:32

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

Day 19 still gf no urges today thankfully

Posted on:
Wed, 21/02/2018 - 06:24

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

Day 21 of being gf how wonderful not feeling stressed out and feeling sick from wasting my hard earned money i need to keep remembering that feeling and not get complacent specially with pay day coming up . I am feeling different started to plan more days out which i never would have done before. Anyway gl all stay gf its so much better :)

Posted on:
Wed, 21/02/2018 - 08:16

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Hi Bamb thanks for your post on my diary and well done on your gf days your doing brilliant. That’s how I started gambling on bingo it takes everything from you. Not sure how much I’ve lost over about 15 years but estimate £100k it’s so sad, written that off now it’s gone and that’s it, best wishes Bamb stay gf x

Posted on:
Wed, 21/02/2018 - 11:01

Cookie12

Joined:
2018-02-19

hi .New to the site but wanted to say well done.reading all your posts is helping me.i think you have a lot of courage looking back at how much youve spent.im too afraid to do that part yet .have a good day

Posted on:
Wed, 21/02/2018 - 13:14

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

Hi lulu thanks for your comments i only stopped as i hit rock bottom sad i had to spend everything to see sense . But i definitely feel so much better being gf not going . back . Gl to you too we are not alone at least . stay strong x

Posted on:
Wed, 21/02/2018 - 13:19

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

Hi cookie thanks for your comment . im glad its helping you . I wrote everything down which i owe to remind myself of what i have done to stop me gambling i brought a little black book just for me and every month plan to write everything i spend until i pay it all off guess it gives me a target to stick too which helps . Cookie doesnt matter what you have lost as long as we stop we can start getting back to normal take care gl hun x

Posted on:
Wed, 21/02/2018 - 13:27

Took a wrong turn

Joined:
2012-02-22

Well done Bamb84, thinking straight I see and hopefully feeling less stressed, keep up the good work

Wilsy

Posted on:
Wed, 21/02/2018 - 13:47

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

Hi Wilsy definitely less stressed . Im still watching walking dead boxset lol . yes feel bit more normal i guess just have guilt now everyday but i guess once i pay off my debts it will get easier just going to take a long time as i only work part time at the moment . Thanks for your encouragement means alot and it does help guess its the little things in life :)

Posted on:
Wed, 21/02/2018 - 13:53

Took a wrong turn

Joined:
2012-02-22

Good lad, Walking dead is brilliant, check out Gomorrah seasons 1,2 and 3 on Sky Boxsets, absolutely loved it. Guilt will go, we are human and make mistakes, we don't just make mistakes we have an illness, it's not like we are cheating on our partners, we are living with a recognised and serious illness/addiction which non gamblers don't understand. Don't feel too guilty, forgive yourself and push on forward, we didn't ask to be the way we are. Debts are the worst because they are a reminder of the damage caused. One day hopefully debts will be clear (My DMP will end May 2021) so one day we'll celebrate and be elated, just be patient (very hard) and do what you can. We've still got to have a life so don't leave yourself too short. Just think many people are in debt for all sorts of reasons, we've sadly become in debt because of gambling. What is done is done, we'll cope and survive, one day at a time battle on with things.

Wilsy

Posted on:
Wed, 21/02/2018 - 14:18

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

Thankyou Everything you said makes sense just got to start thinking that way i guess the more time goes bye it will get easier just got to stay strong . This forum with people like yourself has really helped me just reading all the stories on here its a wake up call . Feel sorry for the people who are still stuck in there.
. Im on S1 at the moment plan on watching them all apparently its starting again soon loads in their to watch good job keep me busy. Glad to hear your Dmp ends in 2021 not that long time flys nice to see a end in sight definitely worth celebrating. Thanks again Wilsy

Posted on:
Wed, 21/02/2018 - 14:23

Took a wrong turn

Joined:
2012-02-22

That's the spirit, just watch loads of stuff and wait for the Spring and then Summer to arrive, then we'll have lots more options open to us.

Wilsy

Posted on:
Thu, 22/02/2018 - 19:11

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

Day 22 of being gf yippee had a good day at work today had a laugh with my colleagues and really felt like my old self again :). Before i started my gambling stunt i was quite laid back always happy always laughing or tried making people laugh , but the last year since gambling really took over i isolated myself from everyone didnt get involved with work conversations or even when they asked me out it was a no straight away as i would want to get home and get on my phone gambling , i even hated people coming out for a break with me as i would want to check the jp on cash cubes this was my game . How sad when i look back at myself but im changing that slowly . I really feel myself hating gambling now and how it changed me im so glad i got out when i did . Gl all stay strong we can do this .

Posted on:
Fri, 23/02/2018 - 05:59

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

Day 23 still gf i will not gamble today . Trying to sort out bill money for the next month little bit dissapointed im short and its little things like one of my cc i was over by 2p so got 12.00 charge lol thought id worked it out right lol just for 2p over the limit . Nevermind i will have enough next month for them all get rid of these charges happy days .

Posted on:
Sat, 24/02/2018 - 07:13

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

Gf 24 days :) feeling good so far .

Posted on:
Sat, 24/02/2018 - 09:12

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Hi Bamb brilliant 24 days gf! We are doing this aren’t we. Proud of you! Best wishes X

Posted on:
Sat, 24/02/2018 - 12:01

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

Thanks Lulu and for your support were definitely going to beat this :)

Posted on:
Sun, 25/02/2018 - 05:54

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

25 days gf i will not become complacent and i will not gamble today !!!

Posted on:
Tue, 27/02/2018 - 07:41

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

27 days gf i will be strong doing ok so far no urges .

Posted on:
Wed, 28/02/2018 - 06:21

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

28 days gf feeling proud longest i havent played for .

Posted on:
Fri, 02/03/2018 - 00:55

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

30 days gf

Posted on:
Fri, 02/03/2018 - 13:55

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Hi Bamb well done on 30 days gf! Best of wishes Lulu x

Posted on:
Sat, 03/03/2018 - 10:26

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

Thanks lulu you too xx

Posted on:
Sat, 03/03/2018 - 10:28

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

31 days gf having a really tough time right now . I will stay strong i will no give in . I will stay postive .

Posted on:
Sat, 03/03/2018 - 12:52

KST

Joined:
2018-01-16

Terrific effort on 31 days.

I wouldn't get too stressed about the debt, not least as many of us will have gambled in a futile attempt to solve financial problems.

I always think the worst thing about gambling is the detrimental effect it has on our relationships, and mental health / personality.

Working through the debt just takes time, and it surely gets easier as the months roll on no matter how ling it takes.

Posted on:
Sat, 03/03/2018 - 16:39

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

Hi Kst i hope you are right i hope it gets easier . I know the debt will go eventually. Take care thanks for your response. Bambi

Posted on:
Sun, 04/03/2018 - 07:26

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

Hi SB28 thank you for your kind words and support . Im still gf thankgod so glad i found this forum . Gl to you too we can do this . X

Posted on:
Sun, 04/03/2018 - 15:36

Jayden

Joined:
2011-09-01

Hi Bamb, well done on your progress.

​I find that setting goals is a great motivation such as when you reach 50, 100, 200 then treat yourself to something.

Posted on:
Sun, 04/03/2018 - 17:41

Minnie16

Joined:
2018-03-04

Hi day 1 for me. Every day is a new opportunity to beat this so good on you for day 31. Just watching Confessions of a shopaholic but like you say it’s those empty spaces that need us to feel. Am sure we can do that an just takes time an change.

Posted on:
Sun, 04/03/2018 - 21:39

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

Thanks Jayden definitely setting goals i am proud but scared too i never want to go back there its so easy to be complacent so everday i come here and remind myself . Ty gl Bambi

Posted on:
Sun, 04/03/2018 - 21:41

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

Hi Minnie well done for joining day 1 of a better life :) i have found watching box sets and generally keeping busy helps especially the first few days wish u all the best stay strong x

Posted on:
Mon, 05/03/2018 - 18:02

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

33 days gf i will not gamble today or become complacent .

Posted on:
Tue, 06/03/2018 - 12:46

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

34 days gf . Brought my mums some flowers today she has beening helping me alot just recently emotional support not with gambling but my marriage breaking down . Feeling very low and lost but i will not gamble i will stay strong just has happened at the wrong time but i guess theres never a right time . Im a gteater believer in fate everything happens for a reason .

Posted on:
Wed, 07/03/2018 - 21:54

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

35 days gf im doing this . I will be strong , i will stay postive , i will not gamble or throw my money down the drain .

Posted on:
Thu, 08/03/2018 - 20:20

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

36 days gf

Posted on:
Sat, 10/03/2018 - 13:59

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

38 days gf feeling good things back on track at home which is great . Started getting some urges probably cus ive been down . I will not gamble today . Gl ev1

Posted on:
Sat, 10/03/2018 - 16:20

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Hi Bamb thanks for your post on my diary. X great to see days clocking up for you too! Funny you should say you’ve been feeling down so have I some urges and just feel down in dumps. Doesn’t help does it with urges. Hope you feel better now I’m going to have a duvet day tomorrow I think lol bestest of wishes hun x Lulu 

Posted on:
Tue, 13/03/2018 - 12:05

Stephen 67

Joined:
2017-05-10

Wham bamb gambling in the can.

Excellent progress on your gamble free journey. That first 40 days can be a real challenge.

Beware of the blues. Many of us have suffered a setback when feeling a bit low. 

Sometimes a problem shared can be a problem halved. That is not always the case though and every situation has to be judged on its own merit. 

Beware when gambling addiction masquerades as a friend. Friends are kind and caring whereas gambling just leads us to a dark place of shame, fear and loneliness.

Wishing you well on your journey...stephen 

Posted on:
Tue, 13/03/2018 - 21:20

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

Hi steven so true what u have written gambling is definitely not my friend and yes i use to turn to it when down but not anymore :) 41 days gf . Its so easy to become complacent we have to constantly keep our guards up im not going back to that hell . I didnt realise how lucky i am until i got myself in this mess my family have helped me without even knowing i gambled i have to stop i never want to ask for help again im so ashamed but have learnt my lesson . Life is looking up gonna keep it that way . Thank god i found this site . Good luck all stay gf dont look back .

Posted on:
Wed, 14/03/2018 - 06:02

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

42 days gf i will not gamble today i will stay positive gl all x

Posted on:
Wed, 14/03/2018 - 09:33

Took a wrong turn

Joined:
2012-02-22

thanks Bamb84 for your post on my diary and a huge well done on racking up 42 days and for starting your day on a determined note that you will not gamble today, that's the best way to start any day in my opinion.

Great work!

Wilsy!

Posted on:
Thu, 15/03/2018 - 21:44

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

Ok 43 days gf im having urges to gamble but im not going to give in and ruin all my hard work . Im sure this is going to get harder rather than easier . I need that sick to my stomache feeling back and to keep reminding myself that its not worth it . I know if i even look at a website i will be back to square on . So i will not give in . I will stay strong . Gl all x

Posted on:
Thu, 15/03/2018 - 23:38

Stephen 67

Joined:
2017-05-10

Wham Bamb gambling in the can and that's where it's going to stay.

The addiction will attempt to sow seeds of doubt in your mind. Don't listen to it. It may masquerade as a friend but it is nothing like a friend. You know exactly where it leads us and it's a horrible place we never want to visit again.

Your here now where it's safe. We are all together on this gamcare road sharing our hopes and dreams whilst giving each other support. 

Enjoy your gamble free journey and rediscover your freedom by going forward one day at a time. If your having a bad day just live with it. Distract your thoughts and focus your attention on other things.

You know you can do this. You have the courage, the desire and the will. Take care...stephen

Posted on:
Fri, 16/03/2018 - 06:49

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

Thank you stephen for your support really does help . feeling much better this morning got through those urges feeling strong again . All the best to you to xx

Posted on:
Fri, 16/03/2018 - 06:50

Bamb84

Joined:
2018-02-13

44 days gf not long till i get to 50 feeling good today i will not gamble . Gl ev1 x

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