GamCare Logo
Login / Register

From brain surgery to 9k gambling debt..

5 posts / 0 new
Last post
Posted by
Messages
#1 Posted on:
Sat, 30/06/2018 - 13:06

Triggeredbytumour

Joined:
2018-06-30

Here's my story so far from where I think it starts:
When I was 23 I was diagnosed and had removed a brain tumour in 2014. Since then my '**** it, YOLO' attitude has been very prevalent. Why not? It's only money. Could be worse, you could have died. 100quid more won't hurt. Just do it.

4 years later and after 2 years of gambling i'm in 9k debt and feel sick to my stomach that even as I write this I want to switch tabs in my browser and open another gambling site to just try to get that money back.

Since 2014 a lot has changed. I have a new partner of 3 years, he recently found out I have some of this debt (i lied about the total) and issue and he is being too soft on me. As if it's not a big deal. So I don't get any trouble from him if I do spend more but maybe that will be worse as it's my guilt that will be the breaker.

I have taken out a loan for 6k of the debt and have 3k on a credit card. What is scary is that there is another 6k available to me on 2 other credit cards that I need to close down to prevent further debts...

OR I COULD JUST STOP GAMBLING. stupid stupid stupid.

I feel I need to vent on a forum like this to try to get some pressure to stop me from wasting more money as depression over the debt is creeping in. I am a professional worker and stress is high from work let alone this stupid problem..

Does anybody have any advice on controlling cash flow? Is it a good idea to give him my money so scant spend it? What techniques do you use to try to stop the urges?

Is it a good idea to swap the addiction for something else?

Thank you for your support in advance.

Posted on:
Sat, 30/06/2018 - 14:19

Nonchaser

Joined:
2016-11-25

Block all access to online gambling, if that's your poison. I still have urges but unless I am willing to drive down to a bingo hall, I can't gamble. The urge them passes. Sign up to Gamstop, which was launched this year

Posted on:
Sat, 30/06/2018 - 18:35

Forum admin

Joined:
2010-11-01

Hello Triggeredbytumour,

Well done for joining the forum and posting your story.

You've asked whether it is a good idea to limit your access to money and to schedule other activities to take the place of gambling; yes these are both common recovery methods.  For example, some of our forum members allow their parent or partner to hold their money or to oversee their banking.  Other forum members have mentioned that they use their gym membership more when they stop gambling.  You can read about various self-help methods here:  https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do

You've mentioned your urges to chase your losses, so Nonchaser has made the good suggestions of self-exclusion and blocking software.  If you'd like to talk with a professional debt adviser, there are various free services available.  Some of our forum users have posted positive feedback about using free professional debt advice services like the National Debtline 0808 808 4000, StepChange 0800 138 1111 or PayPlan 0800 280 2816.

You've linked your gambling with your experience of brain surgery, which left you with what you've described as a 'You only live once' attitude.   If you feel your problem is linked to existential or philosophical or psychological concerns, you might like to explore these with a professional therapist.  If you'd like to access free therapy to support your recovery from your gambling problem, you can call us on 0808 8020 133 for details of local and online treatment options.

Take care,

Forum admin.

Posted on:
Sun, 01/07/2018 - 23:21

Triggeredbytumour

Joined:
2018-06-30

Thankyou for the advice, i will work through looking into these options. Currently I am feeling a little shy in seeking therapy, do I need it? Perhaps I'm embarrassed. Right now I am just really chuffed I haven't gambled today. I think using the days gf alone should be a good way of monitoring it. I used to track in a diary, 8 days was my best, but the diary became useless when I started using a work one and decided my excuse was I can't track personal life in my work diary.

Clearly I'm kidding myself I suppose. May be a group session is what I need to see steps to recovery.

Thinking out loud here after a glass of rum and coke, after a beer is the worst time!

Posted on:
Mon, 02/07/2018 - 07:27

Ukds69

Joined:
2018-04-28

Hi Triggeredbytumour,

It’s a great feeling to go a day / week etc without gambling, but take it from me, without support or blocks in place, you’re wasting your time and ultimately more money.

You must be absolutely committed to giving up for good. The easiest way to get started is to sign up at GAMSTOP. Registration is relatively quick and make sure you go for the maximum term, 5 years. If you find yourself going for anything less than that, it is a sign that you are not ready to give it up for good.

It was my biggest failing through my countless attempts at trying to break the cycle. For years I’d try giving up whilst keeping the door open for a future gamble. Don’t do that, you will never get it out of your life with that approach!

Thereafter I’d suggest group therapy /  one to one counselling. This forum has been a big part of my giving up, I find posting regularly on here is very therapeutic in itself.

Good luck and keep strong!