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Boxing Day 1

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#1 Posted on:
Sun, 28/12/2014 - 10:48

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

I've started on my recovery journey since 2014 has been literally a financial disaster ! Due to gambling on online slots I've managed to get into a lot of debt which I will be paying back over five years. I am also aware that it has wasted thousands of hours of my life and affected my health and relationships with family. I've started a diary to help me and keep me motivated as this is actually the first time I've admitted I must abstain from gambling altogether.  In the past I've self excluded and/or used deposit limits to "control" spending but it is so easy to amend limits and also in a matter of minutes to open new accounts. 

Right from being a child I've been fascinated with gambling. I used to dream of winning £'s on 2p pusher machines right back when I was only about 7/8 years old. My parents literally had to drag me away from the machines when we went to holiday parks and I used to cry - never being able to walk away until I'd spent all my money and always thinking it was 'just about to drop and someone else will win all the money I've put in'.  Looking back I guess that it's sad. I then progressed to fruit machines and I've always had a fascination with those too. But as a adult, over the last six years or so I've had issues with online slot machines. I remember the very first account I opened and it felt like I used to win all the time - often making a few hundred pounds from just £10 or £20 some days. But then I began spending more than I had got. I ended up in a pawn shop with a thick gold chain and getting a few hundred pounds to put back in the bank after over spending. This is a significant memory from about five years ago as it was the first time I really spent money I couldn't afford to lose. 

So now, as 2014 has has seen such a dramatic increase in losses I cannot afford to further increase my debts to what are already at the limits for me. 

Christmas Day night was the icing on the cake with a few hundred pound lost from a wage I have yet to receive. This could /should have been used to payback a small amount of savings I have to pay for a holiday abroad. Now I'm at the point where the holiday for me and my family in July simply will not happen if I don't stop gambling every spare bit of cash. It is already booked but I have now got nothing saved up to pay the remaining balance or the spending money we will need. I cannot cancel the holiday therefore I must cancel the gambling !! 

So at day 3 I guess you join me on my journey to stop all forms of gambling for good. 

 

 

 

Posted on:
Sun, 28/12/2014 - 11:54

Forum admin

Joined:
2010-11-01

Hi boxingday1, 

Thank you for sharing so much in your first diary post. It sounds like you have a good awareness of your gambling,how it can impact other areas of your life, not just money, and what you want now. 

How are things for you today? 

If you would like to look through your options for your recovery from gambling, with a GamCare Adviser, please keep in mind the HelpLine 0808 8020 133 and the NetLine are there for you as well http://www.gamcare.org.uk/support-and-counselling/frontline-services/net...

Warm regards

Rob

 

Posted on:
Sun, 28/12/2014 - 12:29

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Hey and thank you for your replies to my first diary entry. I am amazed how many people there are on here that have similar issues to me. I will focus on my holiday as cancelling is not an option. The difference this time is that I have given up gambling rather than restricted gambling. I believe a person who, like myself,  quits smoking for good cannot ever be a social smoker. Now in much the same way I have finally learnt and accepted that I cannot gamble in moderation. It simply isnt sustainable for me. At some point I ALWAYS end up spending a lot of money I can't afford to lose. The thing is that even when I win I have found it increasingly difficult to retain the money I've won. It is usually all played through again till the winnings and more besides is gone. Just a horrible low feeling of stress and disappointment and being annoyed with myself. 

I will do it. I refuse to feed the gambling monster !! 

Today things are going well. I'm glad I've found this forum to help voice and clarify thoughts and feel support from like minded people. I don't know anyone in my life who has gone through anything similar so to 'talk' to people or 'hear' from people on here is very welcome and much needed support :) 

I intend to post here everyday in 2015 and want to keep track of my progress to recovery. 

Posted on:
Sun, 28/12/2014 - 13:15

scottyboy

Joined:
2012-09-12

Hi boxing day welcome to such a fantastic site.come this july I will have gone 6 months without a single penny gambled and its all from the help from everyone on this site and the ga room I visit for 2 hours every monday night.the biggest thing in stopping gambling is the wanting it yourself.every day I wake up I tell meself I just wont gamble today and the days have turned in to months for me. Take care Scottyboy ;-)

Posted on:
Sun, 28/12/2014 - 13:34

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Hiya scottyboy and thanks for your words of support. I am amazed that people still come on here like yourself who have been stopped for six months. It is also surprising to learn that you use the online GA meetings too . I think you are right to advise to take it one day at a time rather than big plans for a gamble free future. It's a bit like if you take care of penny's then the pounds look after themselves. Take one day at a time and choose not to gamble then it should create the future we want. I appreciate your taking the time to comment on my post and wish you a good day :) 

Boxingday1 

 

Posted on:
Sun, 28/12/2014 - 17:19

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Hey Emily. It's Clare here ( boxingday1) and yes I figured starting a diary and having a place to go when I'm feeling the urge to gamble would allow me somewhere to write things down and communicate with others in the same position. I haven't self excluded yet as waiting on a pending withdrawal coming back first then I'm permanently self excluding. The sites I use (of which there are several ) all have deposit limits of £10 per month so I cannot use them at the moment anyway. But my fear is always opening new ones which is what I've done many times before when reaching deposit limits on two or three sites. 

I wish it wasn't soo easy to open new accounts !! 

 

My  holiday booked for July is my main motivation as I have to finish paying it off by April 13 and I need spare money for this purpose. 

Hows things with you and your stopping journey at the moment ? 

 

Clare 

 

Posted on:
Sun, 28/12/2014 - 17:30

J24

Joined:
2014-10-24

Hi Boxingday, thanks for the post. 

Online slots are just the pits. All fun and games for around 10 minutes and then rapidly downhill after that. 

I tried the deposit limit thing quite some time ago. All that happened was I signed up to more sites once I hit the limit. Now every time I decide to stop I self exclude. It doesn't stop me finding a new site when the demons get the better of me but it's getting harder and harder to find sites that I can sign up to, which has to be a good thing. 

I'd like to be able to give you some advice but failure struck again yesterday so it'd just be hypocritical of me to try. 

Saying that, even though I did fail yesterday, since joining here 2 months ago I've gambled 3 times. Its 3 times more than I planned but it's also 50+ days that I didn't gamble, so it's not all doom and gloom.

Just try and take things each day at a time. There's ups and downs along the way but I figure it's better to be here trying to stop than to not be here and gambling constantly. It's the way I look at it anyway.

Take care
Jess

Posted on:
Sun, 28/12/2014 - 17:47

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Hiya Jess and nice to hear back from you. Don't worry about your little lapse yesterday and like you say it's only three days you have gambled out of the fifty odd so you should still be proud of yourself. 

I am fully intending to self exclude from all the sites I've joined but one pending withdrawal waiting and once I've got that I'm shutting all down and self excluding - can you permanently self exclude or just a set length of time ? 

I hope you find strength in knowing there are lots of others dealing with the same as you. I find it is nice to hear from others who can fully understand and relate to your issues. 

Hope you're having a good day today

Clare  

 

 

Posted on:
Sun, 28/12/2014 - 18:20

J24

Joined:
2014-10-24

Hi Clare,

I am having a good day today believe it or not. In terms of gambling anyway! 

I tried the moping around thing, I've decided it's not for me. I'm generally quite an upbeat person, always ranting and raving, but usually upbeat with it. It's the way forward I think. 

I'm not sure if you can exclude permanently from all the sites. My guess would be no...purely so they leave the door open to come back to them at some point down the line. I always ask to be excluded for the maximum time. There are a couple of sites that said my account would be permanently closed but most give a time frame in years. I've never had a problem excluding before, not sure why this last one ignored my request. But if it hadn't been that site I used yesterday, I'd have found another one so I can't be too furious with them. 

It is quite therapeutic to have a diary, I've used mine for all sorts, gambling and non gambling related. And generally it does work. It's once I stray a bit too far from it things start to come crashing down. Lesson learned on that one.

I've never been off the site today really, every time I've had a spare few minutes, I've read a little bit more. It's never nice to know other people are going through the same hell, but there is something selfishly comforting about knowing you aren't alone. Now there's a statement only an addict can relate to.

We all have to start somewhere and the new year seems as good a place as any to start living the life we should be living

Jess x

Posted on:
Sun, 28/12/2014 - 20:25

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Hi jess. 

Glad you're having a better day today in terms of not gambling. It's hard isn't it. But we all share the common goal and every day not gambling is progress. It's the first time I've actually stopped gambling altogether as normally I just say I'll cut down. But that's never worked so hey ho have to stop completely. 

Im definitely self excluding from all the sites I'm currently signed up to  and will feel better once this is done. 

I think I'll cancel my bank card too as I often worry about the security of some of these sites especially those which ask for a photo of all your id and bank cards. I'll feel better once I have a new debit card. All my credit cards were shut down a few months ago when I took a debt consolidation loan at the bank so it's only the one bank card I have. 

Have you had issues gambling in any other forms like going to bingo halls for example ? I have made a decision never to go there again too. 

Late nights are always my normal time to gamble online - doesn't help when TV is rubbish either ! 

 

Clare x 

Posted on:
Mon, 29/12/2014 - 11:15

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Day Four 

I've still not gambled since Christmas Day night. I'm pleased that I no longer have to worry each day that I might've miscalculated and overspent using money set aside for bills and rent. I am staying focused using the 'I can't cancel the holiday so I must cancel the gambling' to remind me that if I don't stay strong I won't be able to afford our family holiday booked for July . (Thanks NT for advising to do this). 

Hope anyone else reading my post is having a good gamble free day. 

 

Clare :) 

Posted on:
Mon, 29/12/2014 - 18:25

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Struggling a bit tonight as I have time on my hands - money in the bank is all accounted for though with bills due out so I have no money to spend, and I have to stick with this idea of stopping - it can only get easier !?

Posted on:
Mon, 29/12/2014 - 19:23

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Thanks Emily.

I have just done that - I have just emailed all the casinos/bingo sites and asked them to close my accounts and self exclude for the maximum time possible, any bets they don't do it straight away though!? They normally send an 'are you sure?' type email!!

Just to be on the safe side I have just phoned the bank and reported my debit card as lost, so it has an irreverseable block on it for any transactions and I have to wait 5 workihg days for a new one :) Gives me NO option to gamble (except using pay pal I guess but I do not have any 'spare' money for that - I have to stay focussed :)

Hows things going with you ?

 

Clare x

 

Posted on:
Mon, 29/12/2014 - 19:49

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Downloaded k9 for my phone last night. Now downloading for my laptop. Will get a friend to set the password ... Let's see if this works ! 

Posted on:
Mon, 29/12/2014 - 20:12

ODAAT

Joined:
2014-11-10

Great going Clare, glad you have seen the blocking software stuff, some people swear by it & congratulations on Day 4 :-)

I sympathise with the penny pushers, I'm not sure I blame them but they definitely fuelled my unhealthy relationship with money. I see you have now decided enough is enough, I think that that is a vital step in this recovery.  I only wanted help controlling my gambling but every success story I read said that to recover was to quit!  What a shock but having tried & failed to control it too many times to count, I had no choice but to listen & finally, I am coping!

You sound very determined & will have a few days breathing space by the time you get your card back so keep your focus & come here if you need a distraction - You cannot cancel your holiday, you can cancel the gambling - ODAAT

Posted on:
Mon, 29/12/2014 - 20:21

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Thanks ODAAT - I appreciate your comments and I am delighted with the programme I've just downloaded for free :) Just need my best friend to set the admin password for me when she comes round on Weds and I will be sorted as she has already set the password on my phone so I cannot access the daft sites :D

Yes - enough is enough - it was Christmas day when I last gambled and I thought how sad it was that I was gambling on Chrsitmas day and I remembered I was gambling at the same time last year - so decided it was time to stop. I am certain now I can't cut down or control the level of spending - I've tried this many times and like yourself I realsied we have to quit altogether !  I am very determined at the moment. I am trying my best to remove the money and the opportunity so that even if I have a moment of weakness I can't feed the gambling monster.  And absolutely - I cannot cancel our holiday - not an option at all. I'd never forgive myself. 

Clare

Posted on:
Mon, 29/12/2014 - 20:24

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

PS ODAAT 149 days for you I see .... OMG that's about five months - wow well done you :)

Posted on:
Mon, 29/12/2014 - 20:51

ODAAT

Joined:
2014-11-10

Thank-you :-)  With about 3 decades of gambling under my belt, if can do it, anyone can...I only wish I'd let Dr Google in on my dirty little secret years ago - Sites like this have been an absolute lifesaver!  Your back up plans are a brilliant idea, I surrendered my bank card to my partner (the shame of having to ask for lunch money) just so should I slip I could not do much damage.   Now you know what you have to do, you will be surprised @ how quickly your days add up - ODAAT 

Posted on:
Mon, 29/12/2014 - 21:05

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Wow - 3 decades bloomin 'eck!   I think you are doing brill and it is interesting you still use the site - do you feel it helps to keep checking in on here ? I tried another site first on boxing day  - but when you posted it took hours for your message to show. Glad I found this one it is much better. I don't want to surrender my bank card as it really is only online slots that are my biggest weakness so if I can block them I'm sorted !? Right ? Well fingers crossed. I can still go to bingo to play slots but that is more of a conscious decision and I am usually able to apply enough rational thought to avoid these - plus I have family to look after and therefore luckily it's not an option to nip off to bingo whenever I feel like it :D. Do you have control of your bank cards nowadays or are there still things in place to avoid access to money?  Yes - I really want the days to add up !

Clare

Posted on:
Tue, 30/12/2014 - 00:40

ODAAT

Joined:
2014-11-10

Clare, I come here to both learn from people walking in my shoes but also in the hope that I can 'pay it forwards' as without other peoples stories, I would not be here in recovery. 

I do have my card back now & a few weeks ago, for the 1st time ever, I withdrew money & was not scared...This has been the highlight of my journey.  My partner continues to monitor my accounts & I am now past the planning to gamble & beg for forgiveness stage so although I don't have this block in place as such, having him so close to my finances remains a deterrent.  Aside from being stronger now & realising how much better my life is without the guilt, the 2 biggest things for me now are:

1)  I am scared to restart my counter!  I don't want to go back to Day 1 & let everyone who is rooting for me down!

2)  I don't want to fund anymore shops to drag other people into the miserable hole I have been in (& my mother still is).

There is talk that we compulsive gamblers must quit all forms of gambling but our recovery is bespoke & I have continued to chuck the odd pound @ the lottery as well as buying the odd scratch card.  Initially my partner questioned this & concerns are that 'we' just replaced one form of gambling with another but this is not my poison & for me my gamble free days are all about fruit machines/fobt's.  I did however turn to the computer @ 1st & furiously played extremely addictive free games but I made sure I stuck to ones with limited lives!  This has passed now but there is the distinct possibility that I come here too often - I will take this over gambling anyday ;-)  

As long as you retain control in the Bingo & don't start finding excuses to go more often, I would continue to do so but I have an idea that the professionals would take a different stance! 

Stay strong & next time you find yourself picking up to go online & do more damage, come here & look @ your number getting bigger, that Holiday awaits you - ODAAT

 

Posted on:
Tue, 30/12/2014 - 00:53

barney2909

Joined:
2014-12-01

Hi Clare,

Your first days are going so well! I have fallen off the wagon already!! The online slots are what feeds my addiction so I will be following your diary all the way hun! Well done for putting all the blocks in place and have a goal so heres to the summer of 2015!

Keep posting :) 

Posted on:
Tue, 30/12/2014 - 16:05

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Day 5  - Feeling down and snappy like I've lost some money - but I have not gambled at least.

Maybe it is post Christmas blues or something. Maybe it's because I've been food shopping with the kids and hated myself for the things they wanted to put in the trolley and I had to so no more than I should. £300 debited my current account yesterday (which I spent on gambling Christmas eve/Boxing Day). Now I am debating whether I can justify going out for a bite to eat to celebrate New Year tomorrow evening. I probably shouldn't but as I have already got a baby sitter organised and I feel I am doing well not gambling, I really want to go out.

Nice to hear you have your debit card back ODAAT. I think I may do something similar next month when I get some money. I want to draw out 'spare spending money' and then give my bank card to a friend to look after. I have to keep putting blocks in place as I know fine well there will be moments I cannot resist the urges. The sooner I get my friend to set a password on K9 software the better too. It will then be virtually impossible to gamble from home. Oh except... just thought... my daughter got a netbook for Christmas! I must install blocking software on that too !!!!!!

I think I will avoid the bingo and any form of gambling altogether. When I have been before it has always been a trigger to come home and spend a fortune online. Best I stop altogether as i have proven to myself in the past I cannot control the amount of money spent when I gamble. I always find a way to get more money too even when I have run out - (increased my overdraft three times in December). I thought about using the slots sites to gamble pretend money, but what is the point? I actually detest all those so called 'addictive' crush games etc people seem to go mad for. They do nothing for me - I have no interest whatsoever. It is purely the thrill of winning money that gets me interesting in playing the online slots.

I think it is a fair point that you make ODAAT about not wanting to reset the counter. I don't want to ever reset that counter. Maybe I am naive to think that - but I am going to give it every bit of willpower I have got. Can I keep it up long term though !? Who knows - let's hope so.  Is your mother interested in using a forum/giving up her gambling?

Thankyou for your words of encouragement - it really does help and barney2909 you really should look into the idea of removing temptation either having zero access to any funds or blocking all gambling websites. I am now wondering if I did the right thing cancelling my debit card as it could be Monday before I get a new one... but my friend who knows everything is helping me out with drawing my money from her account after I have transferred the funds online - I still have things like diesel to buy afterall.

I will keep posting and hope to pass on any things I find work for me as it may just help someone else in a similar situation :)

 

Clare

 

 

Posted on:
Tue, 30/12/2014 - 16:32

I wished

Joined:
2014-04-25

 

 

 

Hi Clare,

Well done on 5 days, I hope you mood has lifted, one thing I have learnt about recovery is my moods and feelings change like the weather, it is a normal process especially at the beginning, just push through the negatives because the positives soon come back.

I don't know if you read about the triangle that is used on here, but it does work,

Time 

Money

Location

If you take one of these away, it makes it impossible to play, it is such a good barrier to use.

I wish you well on your recovery, one day at a time is the best way to cope especially at the beginning.

Stay strong, positive and focused and you will win everyday, 

Best wishes

Suzanne xx

 

 

 

Posted on:
Tue, 30/12/2014 - 16:39

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Hi Suzanne and thanks for your support.

I am feeling ok - just irritable and it isn't really because I want to gamble. It is tiring I think as I still wake up every morning wondering how much I lost last night - (even though I have stopped; gambling is still at the forefront of my mind).

I will try to stay positive and coming on here is a real help and it is great when people like yourself are still on here supporting others even though you have stopped for so long. Well done! How many times did you try to stop by the way before you managed 246 days?

 

Clare x

Posted on:
Tue, 30/12/2014 - 16:52

I wished

Joined:
2014-04-25

 

Hi Clare,

About 5 years ago I tried to stop, but it's only worked since I joined this forum last April, before the forum I guess I was in denial even though I needed to stop, this forum has been a godsend for me, it has not been easy and it still isn't at times, but I can't go back, at the beginning, no you don't want to gamble, but the mood swings come and go because your mind has to adjust, to abstaining, it does get easier, but then when you have spare cash( even though I have heavy long term debt through gambling) the addiction creeps in in different ways.

I call this journey a rollercoaster ride and I have not fell off I just hold on tight, when it gets bumpy lol.

You seem to be determined to keep stopped, if you really want this, you can/will do it, by the way, have a good night tomorrow, I am also going out and see the new year in, or even better see this horrible year out.

Suzanne xx

 

 

Posted on:
Tue, 30/12/2014 - 17:04

ODAAT

Joined:
2014-11-10

 

Hi Clare,

Despite many years of 'bad' (including me paying her bills & holding my breath each month waiting for her standing order to come through & clear) & her not having a 'pot to pi$$' in, Mum does not believe she has a problem with gambling :-(  I have tried everything but the only way to be strong enough to quit this is to recognise you have a problem & be determined to do something about it!

I'm not sure if your bank does it but I was able to reduce my daily cash withdrawal limits on my card if that helps you?  Or possibly more importantly given your poison, people have scratched off their security codes.  

Given that you have come so far & everything is planned, I think you should go out as treat, otherwise you will feel resentful & as you are experiencing the mood swings in these early days are vile enough without added discomfort.

I think it is a wise choice to abstain completely given where 'controllable' gambling has led you.  & forever is a long time but I think, yes, we can - ODAAT

Posted on:
Tue, 30/12/2014 - 21:21

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Hi Suzanne/ODAAT (btw just worked out what ODAAT stands for!)

It is really good to hear of your success with stopping gambling and the help this forum has given and still gives you both.

I too have been in denial about my gambling and to be fair I have always kept it reasonably under control over the years and hence I have always believed I can control my spending. Looking back, it is only really the last 4/5 months of 2014 where I have run up the seriously big debts and it has caused me most concern; before that I was still wasting a hell of a lot but it was more my money rather than borrowed money from credit cards/bank.

I'm glad you have mentioned the mood swings are a normal part of the early days recovery process. One minute I feel so happy - especially when I look at my financial furure and how many things I can afford to save for whilst at the same time being reasonably comfortable on a week by week basis - it gives me a buzz. I've realised that since I started my job three years ago, I haven't enjoyed a single wage without gambling a large proportion of it away. But then I am back to being snappy like I have gambled away a fortune or something. (Lost a tenner and found a fiver.. but it doesn't quite mean much to an ex gambler!)

I guess I am worried about when I get my hands on 'spare cash' in the new year and when I am back at work when I used to use gambling to relax and 'enjoy me time'. Hopefully I will still be able to stay strong and following tips/advice from you guys.

Thanks Suzanne I will go out tomorrow - going to have a nice Mexican meal then back to mine for a few drinks - got my best mate staying over so i will be safe from drunken gambling binge, plus I don't have access to any gambling sites once she has set the password on K9 software :). I truly hope you have a wonderful time too seeing out 2014 and welcoming your first year totally gamble free YEAR - I'll join you in a toast to that!!

Sorry to hear your Mum doesn't admit she has an issue ODAAT, that must be bloomin' hard considering your involvement in this site and knowing lots of ways you could help her. Yes - until you finally admit you cannot control it and you MUST quit, things will not improve. I must say it has taken me years to get to the point of opting for a 'complete and permanent ban' but I am so optimistic for the future now. I have taken your advice (thank you) and I will be handing over the envelope with my new debit card to remove the CVV from the back - I am getting my friend to do this as knowing me I will 'unintentionally' memorise the thing! 

Here's to a fab new year - are you out to celebrate ODAAT?

Clare x

Posted on:
Wed, 31/12/2014 - 00:31

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Weh hey - my counter has rolled over to 6 gamble free days :D First 6 gamble free days in several years !!

Day 6 and I will stay strong !

Posted on:
Wed, 31/12/2014 - 05:33

ODAAT

Joined:
2014-11-10

Check you out :-)  Way to go :-)

OH busting a night shift so I will be in watching the festivities from the warmth of my living room, comforting our pathetic dog who is not exactly partial to the din of fireworks ;-)  Gone are my days of traipsing into Town to negotiate the crowds & pay probably more than double what it usually costs to get into a club!  But more importantly, gone too are the days of traipsing into anywhere to 'just have a little play'!

Feeling very positive today :-)  As a rule, I stay well away from New Years Resolutions (I mean seriously, I'm a gal, what chance do I have of giving up chocolate) but this coming year is going to be different & I'm looking forward to resolving to continue to choose no - ODAAT

Posted on:
Wed, 31/12/2014 - 10:14

barney2909

Joined:
2014-12-01

Well done Clare - your doing great and will get there! ;)

Hope the mood swings subside soon and you can concentrate on being you again and focus on you and your familys happy, gamble free future....and the holiday! oh how sad am I looking forward to getting new windows and door fitted, lol!! We plan to go back to Florida in October 2016 so I guess thats my long term goal, but I think we need to concentrate on the shorter term goals first and the number of days, weeks, months gamble free will rack up before us :)

Remember for tonight, put all this to the back of your mind and let your hair down - you deserve it! We will face 2015 stronger than 2014 and we are all determined to get our lifes back on track and kick gamblings a**e into touch!!! 

Happy new year!! 

 

Mel xx

Posted on:
Wed, 31/12/2014 - 17:32

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Well - had a nice meal - been out already :D Now back home with wine and fruit n nut and a chocolate graze box - yum. Not started the wine yet - bit early ! Got a friend round and kids are at Grandmas so we will have a good chat and watch a movie and get the blocking software password sorted. Plus my debit card arrived today - so I haven't looked at the code yet and my friend will be scratching the code off the back for me so I cannot use it online !! Feel stronger putting blocks in place so that I cannot fail in a moment of weakness. Daughters new tablet is playing on my mind though. I still need to install k9 on that to avoid me searching it out in a moment of weakness.

Hope you have a nice evening ODAAT with the doggy and I don't blame you for not traipsing round the town - I'm a little past that too. Went out boxing day and braved the crowds but had my fill for a few months probably.

I'm looking at stopping gambling not as a new years resolution, just living a better future.  I have put too many plans in place now to save up for important things - top of the list being the holiday abroad and paying my kids back the money I 'lent' from them in 2014.

Happy New Year ODAAT and Mel. I know that we can gain strength from each other and look forward to a better year. I am glad to say goodbye to 2014. 2016 and Florida is a great long term goal to have Mel and it is certainly something major to look forward to and encourage you to say no whenever those weak moments come back. Well done on staying gamble free and yes we will defo kick its' ar*e this year!

 

Clare x

Posted on:
Wed, 31/12/2014 - 17:50

triangle

Joined:
2014-03-14

all the best clare

great idea with the pin number and new years resolution

tri

Posted on:
Wed, 31/12/2014 - 17:59

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Thanks Triangle and best wishes to you too for New Year! Got ODAAT to thank for the idea with the debit card :)

Posted on:
Wed, 31/12/2014 - 23:31

ODAAT

Joined:
2014-11-10

Not mine...I have read it on a couple of posts & was just the middle man - I really hope it works!

So pleased to see you bringing in your New Year in style & I hope this happiness provides you with the strength to sail through 2015 kicking any urges into touch - ODAAT

 

Posted on:
Thu, 01/01/2015 - 00:22

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Just logged in to see day 7 on my profile :D 

thanks for your strength and help along the way... I haven't gambled all year lol ! 

 

Posted on:
Thu, 01/01/2015 - 00:27

ODAAT

Joined:
2014-11-10

Congratulations in you week...I look forward to seeing that all through 2015!

#IHAVENTGAMBKEDALLYEAR

Posted on:
Thu, 01/01/2015 - 00:29

ODAAT

Joined:
2014-11-10

Or #IHAVENTGAMBLEDALLYEAR even (& I don't even drink!)

Posted on:
Thu, 01/01/2015 - 10:42

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Haha, you sure about that ? 

But yes i look forward to saying that each and every week too. Now I've done a week feels like more of an achievement. To say haven't gambled all year for the rest of the year will be amazing ... Let's see if I can make that happen !! 

 

Posted on:
Thu, 01/01/2015 - 13:44

barney2909

Joined:
2014-12-01

Well done for 1 week Clare - you can do this!!

Like you say, lets keep saying that we havent gambled all year, lol!! it will be fantastic! 

Hope you had a brill night with your friend and wishing her well for the stopping smoking! I am loaded with cold so had to come home early from our party...so, I am feeling very very sorry for myself right now!! ha ha 

Keep strong and keep posting!

 

Mel x

Posted on:
Thu, 01/01/2015 - 14:50

J24

Joined:
2014-10-24

Hi Clare,

Happy new year and congratulations on 7 days. Let's start the 2015 full of determination and make it the year we turned our lives around. A new year, a new start.

Stay strong my friend

Jess x

Posted on:
Thu, 01/01/2015 - 16:20

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Thanks all. Your comments and support is invaluable. I am still full of determination and have no intentions of ever going back. Too much to lose if you excuse the pun ! Thanks Mel my friend is doing well so far with no smoking too :) good we can support each other !! She is helping me no end. 

And yes by the end of the year I will be over 370 how good will that be. Glad to see you are staying strong Mel and sorry to hear you have a nasty cold. Hopefully you had chance to enjoy yourself before heading home early ! 

Thanks Jess and happy new year to you too. Look forward to reading your diary later I'm at the pub now ... Best get my head out the phone ,,'

 

Clare x 

Posted on:
Thu, 01/01/2015 - 16:50

barney2909

Joined:
2014-12-01

Well, my friend had bought lots of lovely M & S food in and I couldnt taste a thing! ;( had 1 cider and a sip of the champers to welcome in 2015 and then went home to bed...I'm so rock and roll!! So yeh, not the best start but I will make up for it :)

Anyways, enjoy the pub and catch up soon x

Posted on:
Thu, 01/01/2015 - 17:46

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Mmm lovely M & S food and bless you couldn't taste it. What a shame ! I'm sure you will be back to yourself in no time and I'm so pleased you are still gamble free too. It is a good positive feeling, I feel your determination and hope it is here to stay !! 

I'm back home from the pub now and no urges to gamble there or anywhere else. I used to enjoy pub slots but not in the last few years ... I've not found them appealing. Can't say the same for the slots in the bingo halls but I shan't be going there any more. I will not ever gamble on bingo or anything else as it's just tempting fate and stirring up those feelings of thinking I can win again. I know I can't win at any form of gambling. I have to remember that. 

Clare x 

Posted on:
Thu, 01/01/2015 - 18:17

sonic boom

Joined:
2014-05-01

Well done Claire. Your sounding very determined and put your blocks in place. Great start!! . Mark x

Posted on:
Thu, 01/01/2015 - 18:54

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Thank you very much Mark. 

Well done on day 8 . 

I am soooo determined I won't go back. Have you joined the 2015 challenge ? I'm hoping to use that regularly to help me through an entire gamble free year. 

Clare x 

Posted on:
Thu, 01/01/2015 - 19:09

sonic boom

Joined:
2014-05-01

Hi Clare. Yes im all signed up to it. I was in the 2014 challenge for a few weeks but dropped out after thinking I could control my addiction by just staying away from FOBT's but continuing with football bets. I now realise its in my best interests to stop all gambling.

Posted on:
Thu, 01/01/2015 - 19:16

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

That's good news. I think there comes a time when we all realise that we can't pick and choose which bits of gambling we can continue and control. Myself I've decided to stop all gambling altogether, no bingo or scratch cards or anything. Just not worth it as it may stir up feelings of wanting to play the online slots where I've lost thousands. 

Good luck and I think the 2015 challenge will be good for us all. I've decided I must stay on it and use it even if I may begin to feel in control. 

Posted on:
Fri, 02/01/2015 - 00:20

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Over a week now and feelin gr8 on day 8 !! 

Posted on:
Fri, 02/01/2015 - 08:45

I wished

Joined:
2014-04-25

Hi Claire,

Well done on 8 days of winning.

Suzanne xx

 

Posted on:
Fri, 02/01/2015 - 10:12

ODAAT

Joined:
2014-11-10

Hi Clare,

Thanks for your kind words on my diary & hurrah to feeling gr8 on 8...It's a hard journey @ times especially in the very early stages where you are @ but I can assure you it's the best journey anyone could make! 

I am glad that for you my 'story' is helping to show that it is possible because it is this journey history from other people that have allowed me this 'success'.  They have helped me get where I am today & will help keep me in recovery because for me, this is my life's journey - ODAAT

Posted on:
Fri, 02/01/2015 - 12:14

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Thanks Suzanne and well done on 249 days - must feel far greater than 8! ... but I hope to follow the examples set by yourself and ODAAT ! I so want to be sitting in that much nicer financial position by the end of the year. I've always been a big believer that if you're not happy with something in your life, then change it. I've applied this to my career and relationships, smoking and now there's the gambling I'm hoping to kick into touch. I know for definite it doesn't make me happy and instead it fuels negativity and makes me have feelings of depression and that's surely reason enough to abstain completely. Just got to keep using this forum. Keeping blocks in place and sights on my goals. All support is greatly appreciated and hope you guys continue to rack up the days on your counters too. 

 

Clare x 

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