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Ben's end hopefully

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#1 Posted on:
Thu, 16/11/2017 - 10:54

ben83

Joined:
Before 2009

I didn't see this part of the forum so posted it onto my recovery diary but have copied it here aswell....

I last posted on here over 6 years ago and thought I would post an update as there was a story about gambling prevailance on the radio this morning. I never managed to completely stop gambling, by that I mean that one day I didn't simply say "that's the end of it I will never gamble again". However, I  do now feel gambling is not a problem for me. The big change for me was that about 5 years ago I asked my wife to marry me and to save for a wedding I couldn't afford to lose any money and was always scared of her finding out the true scale of things. The following year we had our first child and the sense of guilt I would feel if I gambled would outway the enjoyment of gambling. Gradually I gambled less and less to the point where I no longer have a problem. Make no mistake, I am still a gambling addict, in August on a long journey I stopped at a service station for dinner and allowed myself to put £10 in a fruity, the difference was I ended up losing £20 instead of the £100+ I would have lost 6 years ago (and kicked myself hard for allowing myself at all), there was also an incident last year where I spent £30 on an online casino, but again six years ago it would have been £300. However, this is extremely rare now and the fact these stick in my mind is a good sign, though incidents like this make me realise how easily I could slip back into bad habits. I don't have any good advice unfortunately on how I got it under control, but mostly it was the fact that I would feel to guilty towards my children, I can't conceal my gambling now as my finances are visible to my wife and I simply can't afford to gamble (I can't put it on a credit card any more and those nursery fees are high!). I will always have a gambling problem to some degree and it will just be a case of managing it for the rest of my life, but I no longer feel that sense of anxiety as I approach a service station that tells me to just pop into try a lucky fiver. For me it was a 25 year battle, I wouldn't say I've beaten my gambling addiction, we've just called a truce for now that's all.

Posted on:
Sat, 18/11/2017 - 03:35

ODAAT

Joined:
2014-11-10

Full post on your diary but I have to question why you believe this to be a success story?

False hope for a lot of people there Ben methinks!  Sounds to me like you would have lost more had you been able to get your hands on it...That’s not controlled gambling that’s a semi broken triangle affording you damage limitation.