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#1 Posted on:
Mon, 20/11/2017 - 21:17

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Time to come in here now. Tough day but this Forum is a lifesaver, thanks to everyone who posted in my post can’t tell you how much it means x

Posted on:
Mon, 20/11/2017 - 22:12

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

You can do this lulu. Hope you feel a little stronger with each passing day.
Take care x

Posted on:
Tue, 21/11/2017 - 16:13

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Thanks lml how’s you? X

Posted on:
Tue, 21/11/2017 - 16:15

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Still rough days but I know it’ll get better onwards and upwards 

Posted on:
Tue, 21/11/2017 - 20:39

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Really strong urges to gamble why???? When I know i may as well burn the money! Really want to sit staring at my phone watching reels spin and getting that ‘buzz’ from even a near miss 

It really does consume me so glad I’ve got cash point only card plus have self excluded to the max, thank fully I found out when starting back on the terrible road that if you’ve self excluded from one site then that operator won’t let you join another of theirs but....there’s just soooo many popping up there really should be a blanket self exclusion too. Been reading ppls diaries and whenever I feel that old enemy creeping up on me I will come here mostly or just curl up in a ball and wish the world away. So sad to be like that but it is so early days for me yet gonna keep fighting 

Posted on:
Tue, 21/11/2017 - 20:58

Forum admin

Joined:
2010-11-01

Hi Lulubobs1966,

I like the fact that you are questioning yourself about your urges and identifying it's not abou tthe money but about the buzz. I would like to re-assure you that the urge eventually faceds away when you don't feed it (i.e gamble) but it gets stronger when you do the next time it come around.

Make sure you block your device from accessing gambling site. It is equally important  to self-exclusion. In this way you won't be able to open a new account. Read here about it:

http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do/blocking-software#....

Best wishes,

Forum Admin

Posted on:
Tue, 21/11/2017 - 23:01

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Hi lulu,
Unfortunately and believe me when i say this, I know where you're coming from 100%.
It upsets me to think I still want to throw money away and like you, I've had to resort to a cashpoint only card.
We've got to do this lulu, for our own sanity. When we keep throwing money away and (in my case) get deeper and deeper into debt my head just tells me I'm a useless, worthless, waste of space.
When I haven't gambled for a while the fog lifts and I realise I'm not so bad and it is worth getting up in the morning after all.
I confessed all to my grown up children. That's helped me mentally but it hasn't made it much easier to stop. I wish I could flick a switch but unfortunately life's not like that.
I have to be prepared to put the hard slog into it, accept my losses and not beat myself up too much. I am what I am. I'm hoping that is a compulsive gambler who manages to come good. I know I'm the only one who can make this happen.
This site helps immensely.
I can tune into it any time of the day or night. Not may people truly understand compulsive gamblers.
I can't blame them, I don't understand me too.
I just take it a day at a time. If I can go to bed not having gambled then I'm happy. X

Posted on:
Wed, 22/11/2017 - 17:57

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Thanks admin and lml yes definitely going to bed not having gambled is good. I’m still struggling but still at it. Wanted to buy scratch cards but thought that’s still gambling believe it or not I was going to spend at least £50! Madness complete madness. I’m so tired of fighting the urges already but a new day brings new energy to fight this awful addiction 

Posted on:
Wed, 22/11/2017 - 18:57

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

One thing I’ve realised from last time I was here is that I posted a lot but didn’t read as much, this time I’m reading loads and it’s really helping. To know I’m not alone and all the stories so many just like my own. A couple of things I’ve realised is that I’ve just not accepted my losses and the years I’ve spent gambling but I’ll be working on those in particular the amounts lost as what has kept me driving back every time is chasing, wanting to ‘put it right’ it sickens me I’ve lost so much, I really must get my head around it. Put it down to experience and when I’m further down recovery help other ppl like I’ve been helped. Thank you everyone for sharing

Posted on:
Wed, 22/11/2017 - 23:17

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Well done for resisting the urges lulu.
Listen to you . . . £50 on scratchcards! So understandable with this addiction that you can consider blowing this amount and because the odds are massive that's just what will happen - you'd be blowing the money away. If not this time, it would be the next but you know in the future the money will go anyway and more!
Just think what you could do with that £50 instead. A lovely meal out, new boots for winter, even an over night stay in a hotel (Groupon! ) so much more enjoyable than beating ourselves up for being stupid again! X

Posted on:
Thu, 23/11/2017 - 18:04

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Hi lml yes that sounds much better doesn’t it spending money on those things, I’ve forgotten last time I treated myself as all my money went on the slots. The £50 I got yesterday was unexpected so my first thought was gambling straight to default/habit/addiction but yes didn’t do it and today I’m proud of myself and haven’t really had any urges today which is a relief! How are you lml hope your good, your doing so very well and do you feel better? Thank you for your support we are two peas in a pod I also played on demos when I’d run out of money, crazy! But then again not when you look at the science side of the compulsion and things like dopamine rushes just watching the reels spin, playing demos keeps us getting that to an extent but we need to look at better ways for that dopamine raise don’t we. Thanks lml X

Posted on:
Thu, 23/11/2017 - 18:44

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Had such a lovely surprise when I looked at my account 5 days gf! I don’t count as it doesn’t seem to help me but when I periodically look I get such a buzz when I see the days mounting up. I’ve just been trying to get my head around amount of money lost over 20 years and I feel that I’m getting there and why I kept going back. I was diagnosed with PTSD about 8 weeks ago, finally, after (funnily enough) 20 years of nightmares flashbacks anxiety depression paranoia. The bad stuff happened over quite a few years and I’m now receiving intensive therapy which I honestly believe is opening the door to me quitting once and for all. The first few days have been rough with urges but having stopped before I knew the consuming addiction would wear away but I’m under no illusion it’ll not come back, hence cashpoint only bank card. That really is helping. First day virtually no urges, here’s to a gf life permanently 

Posted on:
Thu, 23/11/2017 - 21:37

Lisa-Bee

Joined:
2017-11-23

Well done on five days gamble free lovely!

We are all here for you and I do know what you mean about these forums gambling is such a lonely addiction not easily talked about. Being able to chat and connect with others here is a lifeline we really need. X

Posted on:
Thu, 23/11/2017 - 21:55

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

I'm OK thanks. It never ceases to amaze me how much better I feel with a few gf days under my belt.
I've just got to keep it going now. I know this is easier said than done.
If I get urges, I remind myself of my upsetting christmas's past and that this Christmas I want to feel good about myself. That usually helps me to move on.
My daughter asked if I'd been on the slots lately. I said no because I can't (no online card) I've told her this before but I think she has to hear me say it! She asked if I was OK about it. For some reason my mouth just clamped shut. Maybe because I didn't want to say 'no I'm not OK about it.' Its Still hard to admit it's difficult to stop. Maybe it's because I know it makes me sound stupid - after all, why would It make me happy to get further and further into debt??
Anyway, sorry for the waffle but you did ask! haha!
Keep going, as you said, those days are ticking along nicely x

Posted on:
Mon, 27/11/2017 - 17:53

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Slipped gutted absolutely gutted 

Posted on:
Tue, 28/11/2017 - 17:15

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

I’ve relapsed again today video slots at bookies. Wiped me out I am so depressed don’t know how much more I can take it’s simply consuming me, why??? I know what it does I’m so desperate for the buzz the spin of the reels I don’t feel I can be happy without it. The escape it gives me I’ve even thought it’s worth losing money but I don’t want that I can’t afford to lose! And lose I do always ends up me losing because I can’t stop I really need some support here I just can’t seem to disconnect from it, get it out my life, forget about it. I never ever thought I’d go in s bookies never but this time I did same as yesterday I’ve self excluded now but can’t believe I went in. I had such a compulsion to go in every other thought was wiped from my head but those .... reels. Will I try everything go to any lengths to gamble??? I have to Break this addiction get my life back

Posted on:
Tue, 28/11/2017 - 17:47

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

I’m going to do this just reading diaries that’s it I’ve done no more and this time I mean it I really mean it for my sake and the sake of my family. Christmas gf sounds really good. I’m done. I may not gamble big amounts I don’t have big amounts but I just can’t afford to lose that even today I lost £50 not a lot by some I see but it’s devastating for me

Posted on:
Tue, 28/11/2017 - 18:16

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

This time actually feels different, also reading so many diaries about ppl who’ve relapsed many times. I won’t hate myself for relapsing so many times too, I did hate myself but like I read in a diary hate the gambling industry instead. I’m alternating between anger and breaking down crying I feel so bad. I’ve also told one of my friends and neighbour and that is an amazing thing for me. I’ve been such a good liar and secretive now I have someone I’m accountable to and my double life can’t go on. I’ve gambled on and off for about 14 years I thought it was 20 but it’s 14 in a twisted way that made me feel better as I’ve wasted less time and money than I thought. Any good wishes would be much appreciated not advice really I’ve had loads just boosts and good wishes and I send you all good wishes too

Posted on:
Tue, 28/11/2017 - 18:38

Josh280

Joined:
2017-11-17

Welcome back lulu I remember you from before. Was hoping things had improved and you’d just moved on.  

Just thought I’d drop by and say even if you don’t believe in yourself I believe in you I did before and I still do now. I’ve seen many woman come here and fight and win the battle you’re no different to anyone of those woman.  You can do this you just need to find the right balance. Give yourself some recovery time and it will become clearer. I’m not sure what happened to you all those years back but you fought through that you can fight through this .  You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. 

Best wishes x

Posted on:
Tue, 28/11/2017 - 19:00

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Josh can’t tell you what that means, I do doubt myself but you’ve just given me a much needed boost, thank you. This time definitely feels different. Years back was pretty horrendous which is why I have ptsd now I still get nightmares and flashbacks but I’m finally getting help for that now. I forget the strength I had to survive it all so thanks again Josh for reminding me. I’ve done now no more escapism and all the negative things that come with gambling. I’ll be on here every day for probably quite a long time! Hope your all good josh 

Posted on:
Tue, 28/11/2017 - 21:38

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Don't beat yourself up lulu, what's done is done. We have all been there. The good news is we don't have to stay there. Pick yourself up, dust yourself down and show everyone that you are strong, you can do it and you will do it!!
Sending you a hug. X

Posted on:
Wed, 29/11/2017 - 09:51

Loxxie

Joined:
2016-01-15

Hey love..well done on speaking to friend and neighbour...that's a great thing to have done...it makes your addiction real...which as you know love...it really is. .
It makes you accountable to ...be totally honest with them. ..ask them for help and support. ..imagine those cashiers in the bookies laughing behind your back...imagine them saying.."look at her. ..another pathetic addict "
Imagine the people walking past...looking in the window. .
"Another women chucking cash in the fobts. ...she must be mad "
Come on love...you can do this...
The only thing stopping you ...is you ....
Ring the helpline love...go back to the beginning and start again...xxx

Posted on:
Wed, 29/11/2017 - 15:19

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Thanks lml for cyber hug much needed and grateful x hope your doing ok?  Hi Loxxie I’ve gone right back to beginning I know it’s so shaming I still can’t believe I went in. First day gf x take care both of you x

 

 

 

Posted on:
Wed, 29/11/2017 - 15:24

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Day one done! I can’t say how pleased I am, this time is different I feel it in my bones. Funnily enough no real strong urges maybe cos been busy it’s also when I’m sat thinking that I get urges. I still having the nightmares flashbacks but even that hasn’t pushed me too gamble. Tomorrow is major test though I get paid, need all my strength for then

Posted on:
Wed, 29/11/2017 - 15:45

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

I spoke too soon sat here on here obviously thinking about ways I can get around my blocks and self exclusion that really snuck up on me. Thank god ivself excluded from those bookies but that’s not my reall problem it’s online slots but thankfully have self excluded to everyone and have my cash only card. Going in bookies was like me thinking well if I can’t win online maybe I can in actual reality well that didn’t happen and I’m not very interested in bookies it’s online slots that have got me.itvwas degrading in the bookies horrible looking back. I thought of joining a bingo club but thank fully I’m excluded as I’m excluded online. I have self excluded to the max.  I really can’t understand my thinking that ‘next’ time it’ll be different and I’ll win and control it. That’s never going to happen I am a compulsive gambler

Posted on:
Wed, 29/11/2017 - 19:36

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Really glad I’ve finally opened up to my friend and neighbour it’s making it easier for me to admit I’m a compulsive gambler, thinking about how I used to win and I’d withdraw half or three quarters so I could carry on feeding my addiction but always guaranteed I’d lose that sum I’d left in and then reverse the withdrawal then guaranteed lose that then put in even more money. I’ve pawned stuff, sold stuff, borrowed and took out loans, my credit rating for years has been none existent so even took a loan on my car for £500 and have paid back five/six times that amount it’s mind boggling the extent you’ll go to gamble. I’m feeling quite depressed as I write this it’s also first time I’ve been completely honest. I knew this time was different I really have had enough. I’ve quit so many times and always gone back to it. I’ve generally by that time accumulated balance in money again but then blow it all yet again, it’s a rollercoaster and I want to get off for good. Still got urges despite all this, but more determined than ever here’s to day 2 tomorrow 

Posted on:
Fri, 01/12/2017 - 01:51

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Up at 1.43am can’t sleep and got work at 4.00am had really busy day yesterday Christmas shopping and sorting out dysfunctional family stuff but had urges to gamble and even more now as been paid. Can’t gamble blocks in place but so want to which depresses me a lot when will wanting to go away. 3 days gf

Posted on:
Fri, 01/12/2017 - 02:01

S_J_B

Joined:
2013-05-25

Hi Lulu

Well done on staying strong! Payday & other emotional distress can be a trigger for us.

So glad you are staying safe & strong!

Only for today..keep mounting those days up ☺

& now...maybe goodnight, even for couple of hours...deep breaths, peaceful sleeps.

Make sure you look after yourself, you're WORTH It!

S&B xx

Posted on:
Fri, 01/12/2017 - 09:57

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Hi S&B thank you so much! You’ve given me just the boost I needed and reminder to stay strong! Thank you means a lot hope your ok X

Posted on:
Fri, 01/12/2017 - 10:07

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Well! Going to go into Day 4 later today. I got back to sleep for a bit this morning the urges were really strong but there was nothing I could do as blocks doing their job. I felt incredibly frustrated but so glad too. Looking at my bank balance makes me happy, normally probably by now it would have next to nothing in it but not only do I have money left I’ve also bought stuff. Feels good as I haven’t bought anything for ages and I wondered how I’d afford the presents I bought yesterday. Family stuff is stressful at moment  which defo doesn’t help but I’m staying strong. Best wishes everyone we can do this 

Posted on:
Fri, 01/12/2017 - 18:52

Tinyb

Joined:
2017-11-25

Hi

Just wanted to drop a note on i think really to be honest.

Joined last week an just don't trust myself, self excluded and invested in blocker which seems to be working.

5 days now gf which is strange as was football on line which averaged 20quid with weekend late night on line casino ( fruits) .

I feel much better in myself although in writing this still thinking about it to much.

Fingers crossed.

Posted on:
Sat, 02/12/2017 - 18:11

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Hi Tinyb well done on staying gf keep going we can do it :)

Posted on:
Sat, 02/12/2017 - 18:23

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Reallllyvbusy day went to see my son and then my grandson, took him out to a play Centre he loved it. Didn’t have time to think about gambling until now. Made such a difference having money in my pocket to help my son out and treat my grandson. It used to be so difficult to find the money for them when I was gambling also transferred money to my granddaughters mum to treat her as she won a Christmas card competition bless her. So good not to struggle doing that. So very tired now though not having very good nights sleeps but hopefully that will improve the less I’m stressed etc over gambling. Paid some debts too and got car cleaned properly inside and out, that had taken a back seat when gambling. It’s crazy what ends up taking a back seat when your gambling and that’s all you can think about to spend your money on. Getting urges tonight despite all that positivity a long way to go yet I think. Keep going ppls

Posted on:
Sat, 02/12/2017 - 18:38

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

4 days thought it was 5 but still amazing 4 days rarely could I go a day gf, where did I find the money???? Ridiculous no more

Posted on:
Sun, 03/12/2017 - 08:24

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

5 days but not having good day been going through my banking deposits and the amount is unbelievable how much I spent over lnast month gambling I timesed that by the amount of years gambling and the amount is horrendous how do you get your head around that? I’m. Gutted. But happy at least now I’m gf. Need to sort my head out as all I want to do now is the old chase my losses but looking at that figure that’s impossible 

Posted on:
Sun, 03/12/2017 - 11:02

Anon100

Joined:
2016-08-31

Hey lulu, I don’t post very often but wanted to wish you well, you know you can do this, draw a line under the losses and take each day at a time . I know it’s not easy but the rewards of not gambling are so worth it and I’m not just talking about cash in the bank, building society or your purse .  it’s that weight lifted off your shoulders as you wake up in a morning and realise you lost money you didn’t have, it’s about being with loved ones and giving them your full attention as your minds not else were.  It’s about liking the person who looks back at them in the mirror .  Keep knocking mr g out when he rears his head, take up colouring, jigsaw puzzles anything to distract when the urge arises to spin those awful wheel.  Best wishes x x 

Posted on:
Sun, 03/12/2017 - 13:17

S_J_B

Joined:
2013-05-25

Hi Lulu

You're doing great! Try and not look back, You can't change the past however you are in control of today!

Be kind to you, as anon said - do anything to distract yourself from those urges. They will pass, they're only thoughts...dont act on them!

Just for today - stay safe

S&B xx

Posted on:
Sun, 03/12/2017 - 17:45

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Hi Anon100 thank you I really appreciate your advice it gives me such a boost especially when I’m struggling like today. I cleaned my boat from top to bottom lol (live on narrowboat) and took out my frustrations on that, it’s very clean! Lol. I’m going to take up my hobbies again too. Thanks Anon hope your all good x

Posted on:
Sun, 03/12/2017 - 17:51

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Hi SJB thank you again such a boost to get these messages of encouragement. I’m starting to get my head round the losses, I cleaned like a mad woman today lol it definitely helped lol hope your all good too x

Posted on:
Sun, 03/12/2017 - 18:45

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Waiting for my 6 days to come up on my page. Tough day really getting my head around losses still not there yet but much better than I was, learning to draw a line under it all. Cleaned like a mad woman today to take my mind off urges. Working extra on cover too this week so that’ll help a bit. Still got cash which is hard to get used to to be honest so used to being broke by now and borrowing etc. Be so good to have a better Christmas and no more waking up those mornings feeling awful, depressed etc etc having lost money just can’t afford to lose. Nearly 6 days of waking up free and it’s bloody good. I’ll deal with those urges and stop ruining my life and those around me. 

Posted on:
Mon, 04/12/2017 - 07:39

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Keep thinking about this bit of advice ‘just a thought, don’t act on it’ 6 days really struggling today but doing it

Posted on:
Mon, 04/12/2017 - 12:01

S_J_B

Joined:
2013-05-25

Hi Lulu,

Keep riding thoughts out. Have you got any practical blocks in place? Self exclusions at least..every little helps!

This is not easy but definitely doable. Wouldn't it be nice to see full g free week tom huh ☺..keep building those days up, I can assure you the further away you move, them more your thought process will keep changing.

& of course...thoughts are not gonna harm you, actions might. Please make the right choice!

Keep busy and if not busy, take time for self care. Nice book or creative cooking ☺

You can do this - in fact - you ARE doing this!..well done!

S&B xx

Posted on:
Mon, 04/12/2017 - 19:00

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Thanks SJB great boost for me! Yes I have cash only bank card and have self excluded to the max. I slipped 6 days ago by actually going in a bookies just to play my most lowest point I think because online your ‘anonymous’ but the bookies ppl see you I still can’t believe I did it never ever again I self excluded anyway. My ‘choice’ is online slots that’s what really has me hooked totally. I’ve kept myself busy today with work and what I call my winter clean lol. I can’t seem to find an interest yet in any of my previous hobbies though apart from reading. I’m hoping that will come back like it has done before.  Yes seeing 1 week will be amazing! Thanks SJB x

Posted on:
Mon, 04/12/2017 - 19:04

sjwsjw

Joined:
2017-10-27

Keep going Lulu. It takes time to find what else we can do with our time away from gambling. After being so consumed by gambling we get a bit lost in ourselves. Takes a while to find out who we are again. Im only just starting to now after 10 weeks (tomorrow) GF. Let it just happen and find peace in the fact you are allowing yourself to start looking at yourself to ask the questions of what you really value in life. Its a big question!

All the best

Posted on:
Mon, 04/12/2017 - 19:21

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Nearly 1 week. I’m having thoughts and even though the blocks I’ve put in place stop me initially I know there’s things I can do to get round them but and that’s a big but the time it would take to get around those blocks gives me the breather I need to resist those thoughts, they pass and I’m going to get stronger every day gf. This time is definitely different, I’ve gone back to gambling so so many times after a period gf thinking stupidly that my ‘luck’ would change that I deserved a bit of luck after not gambling, also periods of stress weaken my resolve, boredom, escape. Basically I have to address a few issues in order to stay gf. As soon as that blanket self exclusion of all sites comes out I’m joining. I’ve self excluded to the max right now but the gambling devil on my shoulder is whispering there might be a new site, why don’t you search? Technology is amazing but it has its dark side. I feel contemplative tonight, wondering why and how online slots got me so bad. I’ve watched part of that video and it’s going a long way to explaining this awful addiction. Going to watch rest tomorrow. Nearly 7 days, 1 whole week gf!

Posted on:
Mon, 04/12/2017 - 21:53

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Hi sjwsjw we must have posted at same time lol Thank you a real boost, yes that’s how I feel ‘lost’ a bit at sea. Like you say being consumed. Wow sjw 10 weeks that’s fantastic I can’t wait to get there too! Well done! Thank you sjw x

Posted on:
Tue, 05/12/2017 - 01:43

S_J_B

Joined:
2013-05-25

Well done on one week Lulu!

As of self exclusions. They do help but you're right - there are many more sites to find if we want to..ive been there and done that million times!. Why not to try a blocking software? I got GamBan and it's working wonders! Cheap as licence for a year is only £10 and easy to install ..and you can't uninstall it either!
As of the casinos and outside venues. I'm afraid more self exclusions should take place.
Try and not carry cash/ cards with you. Put as much protection as possible.

Most importantly work at yourself. Acknowledge triggers/ emotions.

Gambling is not a solution and we both know that. It's devastating/ destroying addiction and we do it to ourselves.
It's like we are abusing ourselves...we wouldn't do that to others so why should we do it to ourselves?

Worth a thought.

Self care and kindness plays big part in this journey.

I wish you well & goodnight from me!

S&B xx

Posted on:
Tue, 05/12/2017 - 16:33

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Hi SJB! Thank you! Yes one week soon 8 days I’m so pleased with myself. I looked up Gamban and it’s coming soon for IOS so I’ll keep checking for that because that would really put my mind at rest, I’d never realised that it was so cheap too! Thank you for that. I’ve took on board what you said about self care and kindness too I’ve always beat myself up but I’ve been kind to myself this time and it really does make a difference. Hard to explain apart from the feeling good when you do something nice for yourself, never been good at that lol. Really appreciate all your advice. Hope your all good. X

Posted on:
Tue, 05/12/2017 - 16:44

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Nearly 8 days. Not actually had many thoughts as been so busy. Now I’m chilling and being nice to myself for once. Had one or two issues this morning but it didn’t make me want to gamble. Woman I work with now (was cover job but took it on permanently now) is funny not ha ha funny so that’s upsetting my equilibrium. Anyway still gamble free next goal two weeks 

Posted on:
Tue, 05/12/2017 - 17:40

sjwsjw

Joined:
2017-10-27

Keep going Lulu. Next target it 9 days :-P One day at a time. The milestones will come to you if you just focus on each day as it comes.

Posted on:
Tue, 05/12/2017 - 17:51

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Hi sjwsjw thank you yes I needed reminding of that one day at time think I said previously I’m impatient lol just proved it lol. I’ve just read my emails and had two from sites I’d opened accounts with but hadn’t gambled in cos they didn’t have games I knew so I’ve immediately self excluded no messing around I do admit oh that thought was there get my debit card back and have a go. I actually caught myself thinking ‘something to look forward to’! Then thank god from the help and support of ppl like you I then thought ‘oh yeah look forward to losing money and feel awful again?’ This site is amazing and the ppl here just reading diaries keeps me strong thank you sjw another boost much needed hope your all good x

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