GamCare Logo

Error message

Notice: Undefined property: stdClass::$field_banner_image in gamcare_preprocess_page() (line 61 of /data/websites-live/www.gamcare.org.uk/public/sites/all/themes/gamcare/template.php).
Login / Register

Back, sorry I left

15 posts / 0 new
Last post
Posted by
Messages
#1 Posted on:
Sat, 18/11/2017 - 16:26

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Don’t know if anyone is still here from before I was here but I’m sorry I just upped and left and yes been gambling I feel sad, tired, ashamed, guilty, nervous for future I just don’t know if I can do this could really really use some cyber hugs and reassurance I can do this this time

Posted on:
Sat, 18/11/2017 - 16:48

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Also this time should be different as I started intensive therapy three weeks ago once a week but intense as a lot of stuff to deal with so really really hoping and feel stronger already from therapy I’ve had to stop for good this time

Posted on:
Sat, 18/11/2017 - 18:39

BW555

Joined:
2017-11-10

Hi lulu

Im new here so I don't know you from before but welcome back and I wish you good luck in your recovery. You may have had a relapse but your back in the right place with alot of support. It's good your feeling strong about this and ready for your journey gamble free.

Posted on:
Sat, 18/11/2017 - 18:49

sjwsjw

Joined:
2017-10-27

Hello Lulu

When you are struggling and relapse you need to look at what your are doing and what you are not doing to stop you from gambling. What blocks do you have in place? How can you further limit your access to gambling? What support do you have? Counselling can be done (for free) face to face or as i am doing it over the telephone. You need to find away to limit your access to cash. If you can pass over control of finances it would be a massive help, trust me. I tried to stop on my own and with just willpower and in secret. I couldn't get gambling off my mind when it was this way. Talking things out loud and getting support has given me real hope of change.

This is about more than just the money you are losing. The support is out there.

All the best

Posted on:
Sat, 18/11/2017 - 18:53

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Hi lulubobs,
Hold on tight because a Cyber hug is on its way, just for you.
Look at what you have achieved in the past. Remember how you felt when you stopped gambling before? How the weight gets lifted off your shoulders, the black cloud moves on from overhead and everything becomes clearer and easier to cope with?
You can do this again, you will feel better than you do today. There is always a brighter tomorrow if we just take it a day at a time and say we will not gamble today.
I know you can do it because you are stronger than you think. This time you are going to take charge and tell mr gamble to jog on. (Think that's loxxies quote?!). He's taken enough off you, he's had more than his share, it's your turn now and I have every faith in you that you can do it. Through many failures I have finally given in and admitted the only way I can stop is to completely take away the opportunity for me to gamble, which for me is to not be able to use my bank card online. This is probably what you will need to do as well. It's so much easier when you know it's impossible.
I hope your family, especially your son, is keeping well.
Well done on starting the intensive therapy. I look forward to sharing positive posts in the future. Big hugs again xx

Posted on:
Sun, 19/11/2017 - 08:15

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Hi BW555 thank you for your support, I hope your journey is going ok. Yes was here before and the support is amazing but I definitely have deep underlying issues that cause me to this destructive behaviour but now hopefully I’m dealing with it. Best wishes for your gamble free life Hun I remember feeling much happier when not gambling X

Posted on:
Sun, 19/11/2017 - 08:21

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Hi sjwsjw thank you for your support yes I’ve looked into where I’ve been going wrong and for me it’s definitely the issues from my past I tend to go for destructive behaviours gambling is the last one I’m now having intensive therapy and it is very hard and I get bad days but it’s definitely helping me see where I’m going wrong. Ive also self excluded and changed my bank card to cash point only. I have no interest in bookies just the awful online slots so this is working thankfully. Hope your journey going ok Hun and thank you again X

Posted on:
Sun, 19/11/2017 - 08:40

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Hi lml! So good to hear from you! Is Alan still on and of course Loxxie too then? So good to be back amongst friends who understand! Yes I still remember what it felt like gamble free it was good I think cos of my quite deep seated issues lol I was going to find it very hard but yes started intensive therapy three weeks ago and Sam my therapist is brilliant she has bought out stuff in me I didn’t even know was there so I’ve been able to make more sense of my behaviours. She’s great I’ve finalky dropped lucky in getting that help. I’ve changed my bank card again too feels a relief. Ah my son well I think the added pressure there didn’t help I just wanted to escape, you know he was using drink and drugs well it got a hell of a lot worse cut a long story short he ended up rushed into emergency department with a 50/50 chance of whether he’d live or not I’ll never forget walking in the ward and seeing him lying there in agony, yellow etc etc drips monitors they were talking of him dying and maybe a liver transplant, he had acute liver and kidney failure. He did pull through thank god after being in hospital a week but since found out he’s now using heroin and had been since he came out of hospital. He sussed our that won’t affect his liver and kidneys as much as alcohol and painkillers. To be honest lml I’ve switched off I’ve had to for my sanity. I’ve tried everything to help him but he’s grown man now and is making his choices. If I think about it too much it really hurts like hell thinking I could lose him but I’ve already lost him to drugs so I switch off. Sorry didn’t mean to ramble on so much. Glad your still here lml missed you and others Xx

Posted on:
Sun, 19/11/2017 - 23:01

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Loxxie is still on here but I haven't seen anything from Alan for a while.
Sorry to hear about the struggles your son and yourself are going through.
Don't be a stranger, keep in touch and keep some blocks in place. It's the only way foe most.
Take care. x

Posted on:
Mon, 20/11/2017 - 07:59

Loxxie

Joined:
2016-01-15

I'm still here love...
Alan's gone for a while...concentrating on himself and family ....but he's ok..I'm sure he'll pop back sometime ...when hes thought of some new jokes ! Lol
Anyway....well done for heading back here love...
You know what you got to do...
And you know we'll all support you ...
I'm sorry to hear about your son..I hear what you're saying about him being an adult....trouble is..us mum's can never let go..can we..always our babies. .
But as we know ...we ..as adults have to do things...and make decisions for our selfs...you concentrate on yourself love...it's not selfish. ..
I'm pleased you've got a good counsellor. ...and that it's helping you do much...
Keep rambling on here....you can do this. ...take care xx

Posted on:
Mon, 20/11/2017 - 20:29

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Thank you Loxxie and lml I’m not feeling great withdrawal I suppose it’s like a physical thing isn’t it first few days but gamble free that’s main thing. It’s so good to have your support cos I definitely need it :/ glad your both ok anyway, one day at a time hey? And you can never win gambling, I remember a lot from last time I’d just forgotten how down you feel first few days X

Posted on:
Mon, 20/11/2017 - 20:38

sjwsjw

Joined:
2017-10-27

Its a metal rollercoaster i would say for the first few weeks. It will take a bit out of you (but less than gambling will) for a few days at least. Just ride it out and focus on not gambling each day. It will get easier. Sounds like you've taken some big steps to work through your recovery. Stay around here as much as you need. I didn't post on here for a while at the start of my recovery but spent (and still do) as much time as i felt helped me out each day reading posts here.

All the best

Posted on:
Mon, 20/11/2017 - 20:49

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Thanks sjw I’ve just been reading and picked up some more tips and advice. I want to kick this addiction forever not keep going back after a while away, stupidly every time I’ve gone back to it I’ve thought this time I’ll get that big win and I’ll be able to control it. This time I’m facing that cold hard fact that I’ve been incredibly stupid especially after all the advice and support I had last time. I listened but there was that part of me that always intended to go back once I was back on my feet financially. This time I know the rest of my life I can’t gamble in any shape or form. Time I woke up and I really appreciate your support sjw, everyone xx

Posted on:
Mon, 20/11/2017 - 20:57

Lulubobs1966

Joined:
2015-07-19

Well faced a few home truths today and even though it’s depressing at the moment thinking I can never ever gamble in any shape or form as I just can’t control it, never will I feel a huge weight off me finally facing the truth. The therapy will help a lot too so here’s to a new life and a much happier one in the long run. Still struggling with the amount of money I’ve lost over the years, probably could’ve bought a house, it’s sickening but I’ll get my head round it. Back to basics and this time no going back, I’m well and truly done

Posted on:
Mon, 20/11/2017 - 21:12

sjwsjw

Joined:
2017-10-27

You have to forget about the money thats gone. What hurt me more was the time i lost to my addiction but that has also gone. Just like the money side of things we can only spend the time and money we have from now. Better to make sure we spend the rest we have of each better by doing everything we can to stop this madness.