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Back to day 1 again (oh joy)

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#1 Posted on:
Thu, 08/03/2018 - 02:35

Lisa-Bee

Joined:
2017-11-23

Hi all,

I have been a problem gambler for around two and a half years. As of yet I have not gotten into debt. I have just used my savings and anyspare money I had. I am scared if I continue with my current gambling tendancies I will get into debt.

Since I realized I have a problem with gambling I have managed 32 days gamble free. I foolishly felt I was fine to have a little flutter tonight since I had not gambled in over a month. Needless to say £100 went straight down the drain.

Feel very dissapointed and upset in myself. I feel like I'm an upbeat and determined person, but this addiction just keeps dragging me down once a certain amount of time has passed and I think I've handled it.

I will be updating this diary every week I do hope people can read this and relate to my struggle.

Good luck and best wishes to you all,

Lisa x

Posted on:
Thu, 08/03/2018 - 09:58

Sha999

Joined:
2017-08-29

Hi Lisa

What helps me is thinking after a loss how I could have spent that money, I am sure you would have enjoyed going to New Look, Dorothy Perkins etc and come away with 2/3 bags full of clothes. I know it hurts but as I say it helps me when I get an urge.

Start again, focus and it will all fall into place, I promise.

Take care.

Shaun

Posted on:
Thu, 08/03/2018 - 20:08

Lisa-Bee

Joined:
2017-11-23

Hi Shaun,

Thanks for the reply.

Yes I am trying again, just need to get over this block I have that once a month has passed it is fine for me to gamble again.

How are you doing on your journey?

Posted on:
Fri, 09/03/2018 - 11:55

Sha999

Joined:
2017-08-29

Hi Lisa

I am doing ok, but sometimes I am too hard on myself, if for instance I am out and about and pop into the arcade whilist at Trafford centre, might put in a pound in the fruit machine and later think, oh no start all over again on day 1. Now the fact of the matter is I don't play the 5p a go fruit machines and it was only because I was waiting for someone to go Pizza Hut which is next door and wanted to kill time.

I hope you keep posting as it's important and am confidence you can beat this.

Take care.

Shaun

Posted on:
Fri, 09/03/2018 - 16:39

Rachelliz

Joined:
2016-10-09

 Hi lisa you are just like me, ive been gambling for almost 2 years, i havent run up any debt but i have no savings left, i have never gone more than about a week not gambling mainly online slots and i tell myself i am not addicted - i just like it - but thats a lie i am obviously addicted, and i've put on weight as i just use my free time online, i feel such a loser

Posted on:
Mon, 12/03/2018 - 19:51

Lisa-Bee

Joined:
2017-11-23

Hi Rachelliz,

I'm sorry to hear you are struggling with this addiction. I can tell you for certain you are NOT a loser, you are on this site because you are aware you have a problem and are wise and brave enough to attempt to overcome it! I wish you all the best and please keep me posted :)

Shaun,

Thanks for the kind words. I know exactly what you mean, we are our own worst enemies and judge ourselves so much.

I am currently on day four of no gambling, but it will only start getting difficult for me when I reach a month or so I have never gone over a month yet. I am hoping being more active here will help me overcome this and keep me grounded! Wishing you all the best x

Posted on:
Mon, 12/03/2018 - 20:56

Grant.2312

Joined:
2018-03-04

Hi Lisa,

Your doing the correct thing coming on here and keeping a diary of your days. I’ve now gone 8 days and nearly finished 9 gf days, and really feel that coming here to post on my diary and reading other people’s posts has helped. Like you I’m not in debt, however 2 weeks ago I was 20k in debt and got lucky win to clear it. Scared the **** out of me to be that much in debt and don’t want to be in that position again. I have a girlfriend who I’ve lied to and lost all of her trust as I’ve been caught a few times before in debt of a few thousand. This is my final chance and I have a 3yr old son who’s relationship will be torn apart if I don’t stop and our family business will be ruined. Each day gone by without a gamble is a huge positive step forward and money saved. Stay strong and keep posting, we are all here to help and encourage each other.

Grant :-)

Posted on:
Mon, 12/03/2018 - 21:56

Lisa-Bee

Joined:
2017-11-23

Hi grant,

I am so pleased you are here on these forums and have clocked up 8 gf days.

Lying to others about this habit is heartbreaking but it is something most of us do. My mum accidentally opened a bank statement of mine (we share first names and she can barely see without glasses!) And she saw I had deposited £250 on bingo and slots in one week. She was shocked. I managed to chalk it off to stress and a stupid mistake and insisted I did not have a problem gambling. Looking back I lied because I couldn't bear her djssapointment in me. I have since kept my struggle to myself and sometimes its a heavy burden. I don't like talking about issues I have openly, not even to my loved ones, so it is nice to talk here.

I hope you view each gf day as an investment to your family. If it helps think about your sona future and every penny you save can go towards something nice for your loved ones. Please keep in touch as we struggle on!

Best wishes to you :) x