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#1 Posted on:
Sun, 25/09/2016 - 20:09

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

Today is my first day on this site and hopefully it's the first day to a new chapter in my life. A positive chapter where I will be slots free from now until I no longer even think about playing slots.

25/9/2016 is the day where it starts

Posted on:
Mon, 26/09/2016 - 08:36

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

Day 2....

I didn't think about gambling at all last night, had a chat with the chat helpline on here which was good.

Nearly 9pm and still not gambled, I did think about it earlier as I sold a few things and got some decent money for them but it's in the bank and staying there. Tonight I'm confident I won't gamble and tomorrow I'm working all day so I won't have the chance.

Just built up the courage to look at my bank account and I'm disgusted with myself. I've Spent over 2 grand this month on gambling. Utterly ridiculous!! This I'm going to beat once and for all!!!

Posted on:
Tue, 27/09/2016 - 06:34

Charley1

Joined:
2016-09-11

Emonster, welcome to the site. Well done on 2 days gf. A great step for you to be here. If you get chance read a few other diaries on here to help you along the way. they offer great advice and support. Stay strong and remember, 'we can't win because we can't stop' My favourite phrase I've found on this site and one that has truly helped me when I've had a urge to gamble! Have you got any block in place, so you can't gamble online? Wishing you all the luck. Stay strong. The money is better in our pocket than down the toilet. C x

Posted on:
Tue, 27/09/2016 - 10:26

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

Hi charley1

I have had blocks in place on my phone and laptop, Gamblock is great on the laptop but made my phone run like a shed. I recently downloaded again on my phone and again my phone ain't running well at all. Thanks for the reply I have to beat this disease once and for all.

Posted on:
Tue, 27/09/2016 - 10:28

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

Day 3.

Not long woke up and the first thing I thought of doing was coming on here which is a good thing i hope, I start work at 12 and finish at 9.30 then I'll go to the gym, so today will be another day gamble free :) nearly 7pm and not gambled, I'm at work all day but bookies are never far away. I bulked cooked my dinners for work and took all I need to eat in with me and left my debit card in the house so if I was tempted there would be no chance of it happening.

Well today is nearly over and it's another day I've not gambled, tomorrow I'm a 12hr shift and I'll do what I did today and take everything I need in to work and leave my debit card at home.

Day 3 accomplished!!

Posted on:
Tue, 27/09/2016 - 12:39

Charley1

Joined:
2016-09-11

Great habit to get into Emonster coming on here first thing. I makes sure I try and look everyday (don't always get chance to write) but seeing the days rack up gives me a boost for the day ahead. All the best on day 3 C x

Posted on:
Wed, 28/09/2016 - 10:39

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

So I'm starting day 4 with a positive attitude again. I'm at work until 9.30 tonight, I took everything I need to work and left my bank card at home.

I was going through my emails as i needed to find one from a few weeks ago and and the amount of offers from casinos is crazy, in not going to lie but I was tempted as I've just been paid by I'm not going to do it. Staying positive. Time for a fresh new email address I think.

Posted on:
Thu, 29/09/2016 - 12:10

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

Day 5 today.

Day off work and nothing planned. Had an urge to play last night due to me knowing I'm off to-day and I can stay up later but I never went near any sites and just watched a movie. I'm staying positive and still determined as ever to beat this.

Posted on:
Fri, 30/09/2016 - 11:29

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

Now on to day 6 so nearly a week free from gambling and feeling good that my money is still in the bank. Im working until 9.30 tonight so I'll be occupied all day so I won't give gambling any thought.

Posted on:
Fri, 30/09/2016 - 11:29

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

Now on to day 6 so nearly a week free from gambling and feeling good that my money is still in the bank. Im working until 9.30 tonight so I'll be occupied all day so I won't give gambling any thought.

Posted on:
Sat, 01/10/2016 - 08:35

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

1 week and still as determined as ever. I usually have a football bet on a Saturday but I'm not even going to bother with that as if I win it may tempt me into playing slots. Staying strong, focused and positive.

Today was the toughest out of the days gamble free so far due to the football being on. Although coupons ain't my curse it is gambling all the same and I am going to try and stop it all not just the slots.

Posted on:
Sat, 01/10/2016 - 08:46

Anon100

Joined:
2016-08-31

Well done, It's early days for me but staying positive 

Posted on:
Sun, 02/10/2016 - 09:27

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

Thanks anon100 really determined to do it

Posted on:
Sun, 02/10/2016 - 09:30

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

Day 8

Last night was a bit rough as i was thinking of ppl close to me who have moved away. it's usually then I think what the hell I'll go on my phone and play some slots. Well I got through it and today is a new day and I will pass day 8.

Posted on:
Sun, 02/10/2016 - 09:47

Anon100

Joined:
2016-08-31

Morning, well done on another day and getting through yesterday.  Its another day for me to, I am finding that I'm waking up in the middle of the night and thinking about it and seeing the winning lines on the slots to which I know is never going to happen but it shows how the mind plays tricks on you trying to draw you back in.  Have to stay strong and positive. X

Posted on:
Sun, 02/10/2016 - 10:19

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

It's bordom that is my downfall and its usually around the 10pm onwards time I get the urges. During the day I'm fine with no problem at all but see at night time I think my brain kicks in to a different mode. I'm trying to watch boxsets during this period to help take my mind off any thoughts that want to hijack my mind and put me on tunnel vision mode.

Posted on:
Sun, 02/10/2016 - 19:29

Anon100

Joined:
2016-08-31

Hi when you feel the urge come on here and read recovery diaries or buy a couple of books, it will keep you focused whilst the urge passes.  Do some house work I do anything just to break the habit, stay strong we can do,this!

Posted on:
Sun, 02/10/2016 - 21:56

My family

Joined:
2016-09-28

Good advice anon we, ll do this 2gether. The house work in my house as never been so good I'm sure the wife thinks I'm after sumthing.; ) just gota get over the quite times sum how. Cos the gambling is one expensive boardem we all know that. Well done emonster get your life back mate. Great work

Posted on:
Mon, 03/10/2016 - 13:19

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

Thanks everyone. Its not going to be easy. I've had the mind set before with having tried to stop and it's like I've done well I've no gambled in ages I'll treat myself to a wee gamble. Completely stupid as it just takes that one time and your sucked back in.

Posted on:
Mon, 03/10/2016 - 13:21

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

DAY 9

Still going strong. Got paid on the 27th and not gambled a single penny, not even on the football. Watched narcos 2nd series so that kept my mind occupied, I need to find another boxset and get stuck in.

Roll on day 10

Posted on:
Mon, 03/10/2016 - 15:24

My family

Joined:
2016-09-28

Well done mate your winning the fight now. Keep it up.

Posted on:
Mon, 03/10/2016 - 15:52

Charley1

Joined:
2016-09-11

Hey, well done! I've just complete narcos myself...amazing! Ivan recommend: Prison Break, Breakout Kings, Breaking Bad...all amazing! Stay String C x

Posted on:
Mon, 03/10/2016 - 17:34

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

Thanks Charles....
I've seen breaking bad and got bored with prison break after season 2 but I've got a kodi box and Netflix so I'm sure I'll find something to get tuned in. If I can't find anything then I'll just lurk about on here :)

Posted on:
Mon, 03/10/2016 - 20:10

Anon100

Joined:
2016-08-31

Hi well done on another day 

Posted on:
Mon, 03/10/2016 - 22:11

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

Thanks!!

Posted on:
Tue, 04/10/2016 - 12:18

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

Now on day 10 and still going strong, so far I've found it easy but I know there will come a time when it won't be and it's all about staying strong and positive and making the right decision. I'm on day 10 and I'm not looking too far ahead only looking to get through today so I can come on here for day 11

Posted on:
Wed, 05/10/2016 - 14:48

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

Now on day 11

Day off today and I'm trying to keep occupied. Watched stranger things last night and kept me glued to the TV and now started watching banshee so hopefully that has the same effect. Never thought about gambling once last night while watching stranger things so it is all about keeping your mind occupied to keep the gambling demons at bay.

Posted on:
Thu, 06/10/2016 - 11:53

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

Day 12 now and still no real urges, it's usually around this time of the month that they start to niggle away at me. I've started watching banshee which should keep me occupied at nights before bed time. I finish at 9.30 tonight so I'm being positive again and I'll be on here tomorrow for day 13.

Posted on:
Fri, 07/10/2016 - 18:26

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

Well day 13 is here and it's the weekend, still not gambled and I'm not tempted to have a coupon either. feeling good about this and still determined to beat this..

Posted on:
Fri, 07/10/2016 - 20:48

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Well done! You're sounding so determined. Keep it up over the weekend. I don't want to nag but make sure you have blocks in place just in case you get tempted. I'd hate for you to slip up in a moment of madness, especially with you sounding like you really want to succeed.
Enjoy watching those days clock up! x

Posted on:
Sun, 09/10/2016 - 13:02

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

Day 15..

Forgot to come on yesterday what with work and other things going on. Glad to say I've made it to 2 weeks,I know it doesn't sound much in the way of a great achievement but we all need to start somewhere. Going up town today which will be another step to recovery if I stay out the bookies.

Posted on:
Sun, 09/10/2016 - 13:04

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

Little miss lost wrote:
Well done! You're sounding so determined. Keep it up over the weekend. I don't want to nag but make sure you have blocks in place just in case you get tempted. I'd hate for you to slip up in a moment of madness, especially with you sounding like you really want to succeed.
Enjoy watching those days clock up! x

Thanks. I really need to beat it, I don't enjoy doing it, I don't enjoy having no money so time to end it x

Posted on:
Mon, 10/10/2016 - 12:22

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

Well the days seem to be racking up quite nicely, had a few urges the other day but nothing like full on urges where I'm on a mission to find a casino I'm not excluded from. Off to work now so looking forward to tomorrow and going for day 17

Posted on:
Wed, 12/10/2016 - 13:15

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

Still going strong. Last night was tough as wasn't feeling too great, no seen my boy in 3 months and when I get down about something that's usually when I'm at my weakest and gamble,not sure why but maybe it's to take my mind off other things but it only adds to the problems. I stayed strong tho and got through it and today is a new day and another day gamble free!!

Posted on:
Thu, 13/10/2016 - 12:25

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

Can't believe I'm 19 days without gambling and thats not because I have no money, I got paid on the 27th last month and I still have a good chunk of it. I found a scratchcard in the house with a fiver on it but I don't even want to cash it as it could tempt me on to buying another. Bring on.day 20

Posted on:
Fri, 14/10/2016 - 18:57

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

This is the longest I've went without gambling for a very long time. They say to break a habit is 21 days and tomorrow I'll be at that, that certainly doesn't mean I can let my gard down but I do think it's a fair stepping stone in the right direction. Again tho Saturdays is football day and I do like putting a coupon on but I'm going to resist and cut out all means of gambling.

Posted on:
Fri, 14/10/2016 - 19:31

Ineffable

Joined:
2015-02-21

Emonster, great progress - well done.  Day 21 is only a few hours away ... Happy 21!

Posted on:
Sun, 16/10/2016 - 11:35

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

Uncertain outcomes wrote:

Emonster, great progress - well done.  Day 21 is only a few hours away ... Happy 21!

Dam I forgot to come on and celebrate lol. Day 22 tho ☺

Posted on:
Sun, 16/10/2016 - 11:40

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

day 22 now and still here. doing this is a good Way of reminding yourself that you still have a problem and to stay focused. I'm on holiday for a week and will have my lad for a week so that'll keep me busy and occupied. Not long till it'll be a full month gamble free...

Posted on:
Sun, 16/10/2016 - 12:20

Samson

Joined:
2016-05-08

Well done on your progess Emonster.

I can relate to gambling as a response to feeling down, and agree with you that the very quick buzz causes not only financial, but emotional problems.

Now when I got down about feeling stuck in a rut due to finding it difficult getting a permanent job, I ignore the gambling urges as I remind myself it makes my life worse - financially and emotionally.

Posted on:
Sun, 16/10/2016 - 16:11

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

Samson wrote:

Well done on your progess Emonster.

I can relate to gambling as a response to feeling down, and agree with you that the very quick buzz causes not only financial, but emotional problems.

Now when I got down about feeling stuck in a rut due to finding it difficult getting a permanent job, I ignore the gambling urges as I remind myself it makes my life worse - financially and emotionally.

It's about dampening the demon In us telling us we might win. Yeah we might, but if we do we'll either spin till its all gone or just jump back on the next day and lose it then. whats the point In doing something we hate so much, hopefully this is it for me, I honestly think I've came to the point where enough is enough.

Posted on:
Mon, 17/10/2016 - 11:31

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

Got a spam email today, it ended up in my inbox, first thing I done was unsiscribred. Not even thinking about gambling which is a new experience for me and I kind of like it, busy day ahead with the wee man so my day is fully occupied which ain't a bad thing.

Posted on:
Thu, 20/10/2016 - 14:45

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

DAY 26

Nit been on for a few days due to being at my dad's for a wee visit. Checked my back account today and still skint, God knows how I ever managed to gamble if I'm still skint without gambling. Still going strong and no urges. No far off a month now.

Posted on:
Sat, 22/10/2016 - 22:02

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

Day 28.

Ma boy went back to his mums today, feeling low but gambling hasn't entered my mind where in the past it would have and is have gambled till broke. Roll on a month free!!

Posted on:
Mon, 24/10/2016 - 22:20

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

Well I've done my first full month without gambling. It's been a long long time since this has happened and I'm as determined as ever to keep it up. So far if I'm truthful I've found it relatively easy and I think that's more to do with me knowing that I've had enough of it all, in no way am I saying that that's me now not an addict as that would be foolish but it is another step in the right direction. My first month and it will not be my last!!!

Posted on:
Tue, 25/10/2016 - 23:14

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

I get paid in 2 days and I'm not giving any of my wages to any form of gambling

Posted on:
Wed, 26/10/2016 - 00:24

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

I am 10 days behind you but right with you ! Cracking month - well done :)

Posted on:
Wed, 26/10/2016 - 01:31

Emonster

Joined:
2016-09-25

Skyblueblue wrote:

I am 10 days behind you but right with you ! Cracking month - well done :)


How good does it feel?? I'd love to get to 1000 days then 2000 days and just live my life without any thoughts about gambling. Well done on your 3 weeks.

Posted on:
Wed, 26/10/2016 - 09:17

Redham

Joined:
2016-10-23

Hi Emonster, well done for getting this far. I am just starting out & I am determined to stay gf now & live a life without gambling. I will follow your progress so please keep us updated when you have the time.

Cheers Redham
4 days GF

Posted on:
Wed, 26/10/2016 - 09:27

Anon100

Joined:
2016-08-31

Well done, I'm 29 days and it feels so good.  Best wishes, stay strong and positive x 

Posted on:
Wed, 26/10/2016 - 12:01

Skyblueblue

Joined:
2016-10-06

Emonster wrote:
Skyblueblue wrote:

I am 10 days behind you but right with you ! Cracking month - well done :)

How good does it feel?? I'd love to get to 1000 days then 2000 days and just live my life without any thoughts about gambling. Well done on your 3 weeks.

It feels amazing, i really do feel like i have been let out of prison. Its great being able to make plans, but all of them will remain dreams if i screw up!! I get paid at midnight tomorrow and this is where i normally lose the plot, my biggest test is keeping this thought process at the very front of all my thinking over the next few days. Lets beat this  !! 

 

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