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Posted on:
Mon, 27/11/2017 - 16:43

Christer1

Joined:
2016-02-29

Get well soon mixer. Day 28 checking not long till I become striver status

Posted on:
Mon, 27/11/2017 - 18:27

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

** GURU CHALLENGE -  Latest WEEKLY ROLLCALL!  ***

It's Monday, 27th November – time for our weekly rollcall (one day late)

Welcome, friends, to the latest rollcall, better late than never! I’m in the midst of that seasonal malaise, the heavy cold. I sensed it was on its way: my young son had it, my missus caught it: so there was nowhere to hide. So, full up to the gills with Lemsips, it’s onwards with the Challenge!

This is a difficult time for recovering compulsive gamblers like us. Christmas is approaching, and no matter what you think of the impeding holiday, it’s traditionally a time of stress for us if we’ve been in the throes of gambling during Christmases past. It brings back painful memories of being skint, miserable, moody, guilt (with buying sub-par presents!) and the rest of it.

Can it be different this year? Dare we be different? Do we deserve it? If you get a bonus, do you really have to fritter it away? The answers are: Yes, Yes, Yes and No.

One of the problems of our conditions is that we never seem to give ourselves a break, to dare to be ‘happy’ (whatever being ‘happy’ is). But the truth is we MUST give ourselves that break. Because it’s only one life and we simply can’t live it in a sub-par way. Gambling simply means we live a poorer life in every way, and it isn’t an option for us.

I’ve been a compulsive gambler for many, many years and am currently on Day 108 gambling free. I know, that “this time”, I have no choice. I have a family to support, a family that doesn’t need **** from me, and the same applies to my family and friends. I’m 48, not a “kid”. Have I wasted quite a bit of my life? Yes, I have. And whilst I’m in a “reasonable” position, I could have been in a very good position. I could have retired, comfortably. Now – I am where I am, I accept that – all I ask is, please heed my story. Don’t do what I did. I implore you all, kick this habit, permanently.

Enough about me. How are you? Let’s find out …!

  • Are you RESTED? Have you disappeared from the forums for a few weeks; if so, you are taken off the Challenge. We wish you luck! 
  • Are you RELAPSING? It happens, but you’ve been honest enough to admit it. Make sure you’re putting in place extra steps right now … else it will happen again and you’ll get nowhere
  • Or are you ROCKING? Still gambling free? Superb… keep living the life you should; not misery!

 

WELCOME!

No new members this week.

ROLLCALL OF HONOUR!

Raj has hit 100 days today and becomes our latest ELDER! Fantastic, Raj, this is a big achievement. Keep the momentum; every day is the beginning of the rest of your life!

Amt722 – You have also hit ELDER status and, as you have posted, through willpower alone. As I’ve posted before, it isn’t easy, this approach, but as I always say – whatever works! Just remember, when you hit a ‘bad day’, to be ready for it, to keep your resolve absolute. Congratulations to you Amt722. ) Thank you for your kind words, btw!

Moorey – Yes, you’re back to STRIVER Moorey and that’s great my friend. Why not have a better Christmas this year, the timings perfect. Really happy for you Moorey!

Mitch91 – You’ve hit 50 days and what a time to hit the bullseye; have way to ELDER and at the right time of year. For once, day by day, you can enjoy the next month without worry, fear or guilt. One day at a time. You owe it to yourself; and deserve it.

Our GURUs

Phil72 – 657 days – ROCKING! Always a pleasure to converse on the Chatroom with you Phil, you are leading the charge with this Challenge!

Changemylife – 395 days – ROCKING! Thank you for your kind words and delighted to see you, day by day, approach another serious milestone.

Our ELDERs

Degenerate – 244 days – ROCKING! You are, day by day, and without complacency, approaching another meaningful milestone whilst living a better life; that’s the way to be.

ItMatters – 178 days – ROCKING! Approaching the six-month mark, ItMatters; lets see you get there!

Sars27 – 178 days – ROCKING! – Thank you for checking in; I know you’ve had a few wobbly thoughts but are swatting them away as if they were irritating flies … keep it going!

Rubybaby121 days - ROCKING! – Here’s to you continuing to rock it Rubybaby, hitting your stride as an ELDER. This is the life!

Adamjamal2014-2017119ROCKING! – Welcome Adam. I fully understand the turmoil that this habit can bring to our thoughts, even after 4 months gambling free, and especially at this time of year. Be strong, my friend – it’s crucial you remain gambling free. Don’t play the ‘free’ roulette again; it’s just a temptation and will suck you back in. You’ve joined this Challenge at just the right time. We’ll see you straight – DO NOT RELAPSE. You have the choice: to live a better life, or misery.

Mixer - 108 - ROCKING! - Sticking with it: never forgetting: life or misery?

Amt722 – 102 – ROCKING! – Delighted to see you hit this status. It’s good here, and will get better, too.

Raj100ROCKING! – Welcome to the ELDER ranks!

Our STRIVERs

Chartom3 – 92– ROCKING! As you’ve written, you’re finding it hard, and being gambling free can be difficult. Sometimes, thoughts like this warn of a relapse – don’t do it Christer. Hit that 100. No pressure, one day at a time, claw with your bare knuckles to the top of the STRIVER mountain and be an ELDER. DO NOT RELAPSE – we are with you. Beware the signs.

4D – 82 – ROCKING! Thank you for checking in; keep living the better life you’re living 4D J

Athena1991 74 – ROCKING! I hope all’s well Athena, keep it going: have a Christmas to look forward to this year; it’s all possible, we just have to say “I won’t gamble today” every morning. Do that, and success is guaranteed!

Adam808 – 62 days – ROCKING! I’m glad you’re bust Adam; they say the devil gives work to idle hands so that’s a good thing. Strange: when you go gambling free, after a while, you DO become busy as more rewarding non-gambling pursuits hone into view, and life – be it work, family, friends, hobbies, whatever – takes on a new interesting, worthwhile dimension.

Geo58 days – ROCKING! You’ve hit payday and prepared for it. That’s more than half the battle. This is the 2nd payday you’ve been gambling free – you’ve done it once, you can do it again.

Boxingdayfresh57 days – ROCKING! This is good, Boxingday; keep it going. Spending money on ‘stuff’ rather than gambling is infinitely better; you get something for your hard-earned money!

Mitch9157 days - ROCKING! – Keep in going Mitch, never forgetting the choice: living life as it should be lived, or misery. No contest!

Paulll54 days - ROCKING! As you’ve written, being busy is good but moderation is important, too. We need to relax, take stock as part of a balanced, rewarding life. This ‘quiet time’ helps us to sink in that gam bling is no good for us; it always helps to change our mindset into what we know, deep down, is the right direction.

Velvet748 days – ROCKING! – Thanks for your best wishes Velvet and great to see you’re making great strides with this Challenge. Don’t stop now!

Moorey36ROCKING! – Once again, you’re a Striver Moorey – let’s see you go one better this time to ELDER, one day at a time.

Our NEWBIES, and those of us who have relapsed, and restarting the Challenge (kudos!)

Marson123 29 - ROCKING! – Leading the NEWBIE pack Marson and – even better – payday’s here and you’re ready for it. This time, don’t give a penny to those thieving bookies or online slots; just leave it. It isn’t worth it; you know that.

Antics – 27 – ROCKING! – This is good; payday’s upon us all once again so here’s the test. Don’t let yourself down.

Veebee19 - ROCKING! – A warm welcome Veebee and hitting your stride with 19 days gambling free. You’ve done this before, back in 2013, and all the wiser now as you dig in for a gambling free life once more. Don’t worry about the exam; you’ve probably done better than you thought!

guestaccount (previously HowSoonIsNow 1983)  24 – ROCKING! – Welcome, Guestaccount, although haven’t heard from you since the 12th November; that’s either ominous or you’re ‘flying’! Do get in touch.

Christer1 20ROCKING! –  You’re keeping a good momentum here Christer and it’s good to see. Let’s see you hit STRIVER once again next week.

Slotfool - 18ROCKING – Thank you for your kind message Slotfool and good to see you building a new gambling free total. Let’s get you to STRIVER – it proves you can deal with a payday.

Abstainer (*ELDER status achieved*) - 11 ROCKING! – Hi Stephen, and thank you for your best wishes. You are well and truly back in the saddle and gritting your teeth as you take the right road once more. Life’s a journey, and this road is part of this journey. It’s as fun, as enjoyable a journey as you want it to be. And I’m with you on that journey!

Curled Web – 8 – ROCKING! - Welcome, our newbie joining us last week and delighted to see you are taking action as you go gambling free. Don’t forget you can book a counsellor free via Gamcare; give them a ring and take it from there. Meantime, don’t gamble: you know that won’t help!

06/11/17 (Previously ‘’Adam123’, Helpless‘& ‘Next Steps’)  -  – RELAPSE I’m sorry to hear of another relapse. You’re honest about it, full credit there, but it’s heartbreaking to read how difficult you’re finding this Adam. Always happy to talk about this here on this thread or in the Chatrooms. Do phone Gamcare; it’s time to give yourself the best possible chance of success because your approach right now, to be blunt, isn’t working.

RESTED

It's always with sadness we have to 'rest' members from the Challenge; it's normally a sign of a relapse. Anyone rested is always welcome back. It's tough this; relapsing is, for many of us (myself included) part of the journey. Remember: so long as we come back stronger, by putting as water-tight strategy in place, we'll do much better next time. And if we think of the 'next' time as the 'last' time we have every chance of success.

HowDidIGetToThis (*ELDER status achieved*)14  – RESTED – With regret, I have to rest you from the Challenge, HDIGTT. Do get in touch if you’d like to rejoin us.

Xenedra – 61 days – RESTED – I haven’t heard from you for a while Xenedra; do get in touch to get restored to the Challenge. I hope all’s well.

We’re approaching the moment of truth for many of us; the Christmas period. Remember, we don’t have to gamble. We don’t have to waste our money. We can live a better life. We deserve a better life. We always lose more than we win, that’s why we’re here. If we win, we give it back, and then some. Let’s enjoy this time ahead, just for once.

STATS FOR NERDS: We have ‘rested’ 2 members of the Challenge. 2 GURUs, 8 ELDERs, 10 STRIVERs and 9 NEWBIEs; a net total of 29. n.b. 32 last week, 2 rested, 1 member double-counted.

 

 

Let’s keep strong; keep sharing and keep strong!

Mixer and Athena, your hosts for this challenge

 

Posted on:
Mon, 27/11/2017 - 19:31

Moorey631986

Joined:
2016-09-08

Brilliant as always, Mixer. Your well written Rollcall’s are a delight to read. A superb leader and team player.

Well worth the extra day’s wait...

Well done to everybody who amassed another 7 days (or rather 8 days) gamble free! 

Loving being part of this journey. 

Genuinely looking forward to Christmas this year and I know there’s only one thing that can spoil that dream!...

Pay day for me on Wednesday. Making sure all the blockers come out for then including making sure my weeknights are filled with stuff to do/friends to see.

Hope you’re feeling better, Mixer.

Moorey

Posted on:
Mon, 27/11/2017 - 21:50

HowDidItGetToThis

Joined:
2016-10-18

Checking in new start 

Posted on:
Tue, 28/11/2017 - 07:37

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Great update once again and thank you for the time you put in to writing those. This challenge is keeping me focussed and really pleased to be a part of it. 

 

Posted on:
Tue, 28/11/2017 - 19:42

Moorey631986

Joined:
2016-09-08

Checking in Day 37

Posted on:
Wed, 29/11/2017 - 16:27

Christer1

Joined:
2016-02-29

Striver status is back for me good write up again on Xmas I look forward to it this year I'm in a better position than I have been for years

Posted on:
Thu, 30/11/2017 - 20:09

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Checking in 21 days

Posted on:
Thu, 30/11/2017 - 21:34

Moorey631986

Joined:
2016-09-08

Checking in on Day 39

Posted on:
Sat, 02/12/2017 - 11:02

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Hello everyone and thank you for checking in; here's hoping, at what can be a difficult time of the year for recovering compulsive gamblers, that you're keeping strong and remember what this is all about.

Ultimately, this holiday season approaching will be what we make of it. Will we gamble, and be financially poorer? Will we have to lie to others, and the misery we give ourselves, pass on to others?   Will we take the steps necessary to restrict (as much as we can) our gambling, so if we do have a weak moment (and we do), we've got it covered?

It's in our hands and the help and support we choose to take up. Where our gambling has underlying related medical conditions we can seek support initially from our GP.

Sometimes gambling is a form of escaping, running from our troubles or what we think is a 'dreary' life (but when going gambling free we gradually realise that life is anything but dreary - gambling has simply closed down our options).

Counselling can be very helpful, and it's available free, from Gamcare. Just phone up and ask. It's not the normal 'there, there ...' counselling either. Gamblers don't need this sort of counselling; it's a specialised form of counselling this: designed for gamblers who want to stop, or because their debts or relationships/work/life problems have hit the limit they have no choice.

Is it ever too late to stop? No; it's never too late but why wait till you're in the gutter? 

Everyone reading this has stopped before things are impossible; that's why we need to look up, make the most of the life we have been given, we are all miracles of nature, so let's remember WHY we are going gambling free - it guarantees us a better life when compared to the absolute misery, and gutter, that continued gambling will bring.

Let's have a great weekend and allow ourselves the peace of mind, the relaxed outlook we all strive for, and see 2017 out gambling free.

Mixer

 

Posted on:
Sat, 02/12/2017 - 14:41

ItMattersMoreWh...

Joined:
2017-06-02

Early check in because I have a busy day planned tomorrow - 183 days GF.

Posted on:
Sat, 02/12/2017 - 16:00

adam808

Joined:
2017-08-27

Checking in.... Day 67!

Posted on:
Sat, 02/12/2017 - 21:10

Adamjamal2014-2017

Joined:
2017-06-11

Checking in 124 days Free.

Posted on:
Sun, 03/12/2017 - 00:13

4D

Joined:
2010-02-10

Check in 88 days gf :)

Posted on:
Sun, 03/12/2017 - 08:05

paulll

Joined:
2009-10-16

Checking in on 60 days. 

Best wishes to all 

Posted on:
Sun, 03/12/2017 - 10:03

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Checking in on day 98 ....

Posted on:
Sun, 03/12/2017 - 11:37

marson_123

Joined:
2017-11-02

Checking in day 35 going well

Posted on:
Sun, 03/12/2017 - 15:06

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

184 GF DAYS :) checking in ! 

Posted on:
Sun, 03/12/2017 - 18:59

changemylife

Joined:
2016-11-02

Checking in on 401 days gf. (Sounds alot when you say it slowly). Lovely bright sunny day today. Feeling good and looking forward.

Posted on:
Sun, 03/12/2017 - 19:36

velvet7

Joined:
2017-05-26

Checking in. X

Posted on:
Sun, 03/12/2017 - 20:20

amt722

Joined:
2013-11-10

Checking in, still GF, financially things now going to be bad this month due to main customer of business broke the news they have no finances to pay us for work completed and have stopped other work we had arranged. 

So in the past I would of thought right I can make some extra cash via online slots, wasting thousands I couldn't afford. I've not succumb to those thoughts this time, still fighting and sticking two fingers up to online casinos! Don't need them, won't use them. 

 

Posted on:
Sun, 03/12/2017 - 20:58

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

*** GURU CHALLENGE -  Latest WEEKLY ROLLCALL!  ***

It's Sunday, 3rd December.

Here we are, three weeks from Christmas and 4 weeks till the end of the year. Thank you for checking in and your kind posts. How are things going? I would agree with you this is a difficult time of the year when a recovering gambler. Everyone letting their hair down, parties, ‘tis the season, and all that. Can’t we let our hair down too?

We can, but not if we’re going to bet. If we do that, it’s the ‘thin end of the wedge’; one bet leads to another, then to another, and before we’ve taken stock, we’ve gambled more than we should. And the stop/start treadmill starts again. So no gambling, no can do.

Remember – no excuses. Even this time of the year. It is in the nature of us to potentially relapse; I’m no stranger. I’m finding it interesting, on Day 114, because I’ve suddenly got a bit of ‘spare’, a bit of cash I’m not used to having. (Although - importantly - I don't have access to it!) It seems a bit ‘boring’ sticking it in the bank! But, here’s the thing I must recognize, and so must us all: cash saved is value saved for another day. It’s wealth we can call on if we need it; if there’s an emergency, or something we simply want to do. It’s good to have a reserve. I know that any interest we’ll get on any savings is low. But that’s irrelevant, don’t use that as an excuse not to save. To us recovering gamblers, the fact we’d be starting to save at all is a good thing; we’re hardly going to quibble over a few extra quid of interest.

It’s the same principle with debt, that many of us have built up. If we pay our debts, and StepChange is a good organization to help do this in a most cost effective way, then we are slowly but surely getting into a state where they will be paid off and wealth can be built up again. It also gets us used to the regiment of putting aside fixed sums every month (similar to saving). Paying off the debts, of course, does serve as a reminder of what we could have had, but so long as we do not dwell, but learn, and instead, wisely think of the better future, that’s the upside.

Let’s all remain vigilant at a time I would suggest we don’t particularly enjoy, especially when associated with gambling memories. For once, we can enjoy it, a bit more. Cautiously, perhaps, but let’s have a good time, a better time. We are allowed to!

So, how are we doing this week.

  • Are you RESTED? Have you disappeared from the forums for a few weeks; if so, you are taken off the Challenge. We wish you luck! 
  • Are you RELAPSING? It happens, but you’ve been honest enough to admit it. Make sure you’re putting in place extra steps right now … else it will happen again and you’ll get nowhere
  • Or are you ROCKING? Still gambling free? Superb… keep living the life you should; not misery!
  • Or have you RETURNED? It's always great to welcome you back.

WELCOME!

No new members this week.

ROLLCALL OF HONOUR

We’ve six of our membership hitting meaningful milestones this week.

Changemylife – Congratulations for hitting the 400 day mark, a real achievement. I’m sorry to read of the financial setback (to put it mildly). You’ve recognized the ‘trigger’ that can fire off gambling thoughts that, as we know to our cost, simply serve to make bad problems worse. I’m hoping that the month ahead shows more light than the rain that’s been ‘p*ssing on your chips’ so far.

Degenerate – You’ve hit 250 precious days gambling free. No mean achievement and you continue to keep a firm grip of the reality of your situation which is keeping that resolve, one day at a time. Congratulations Degen!

Raj – We have a new ELDER and we congratulate you Raj at this important milestone. It matters this, and you’re proving you can ‘walk the walk’!

Marson123 It’ wonderful to welcome you to the ranks of Striver, Marson, proving you mean this and can cope with the influx of cash a payday brings. Excellent!

Christer1 – Back to STRIVER level Christer, great to see your return and I know you’re looking to go one better this time around, always one day at a time! Well done to you, my friend.

Antics – Congratulations to you Antics, at the most important level of them all – you can’t anywhere until you’re a STRIVER. We’re all delighted you’re here!

Our GURUs

Phil72 – 663 days – ROCKING! Ever regular on the Chatrooms, there’s never any complacency with you Phil.

Changemylife – 401 days – ROCKING! You profile demonstrates the approach you have to our gambling condition. “I am finally beginning to understand the complexities and reasoning associated with the compulsive gambler.” Even after 400 days, there is much to learn as we continue to work on our mindsets.

Our ELDERs

Degenerate – 250 days – ROCKING! Getting used to spending money is an interesting by-product of our condition. We’re used to wasting money on gambling, but, as you say, spending it on good things, worthwhile stuff, doesn’t come easy.

ItMatters – 184 days – ROCKING! Thank you for checking in, good to see you’re keeping busy and keeping ‘check’ from time to time.

Sars27 – 184 days – ROCKING! – As always, you’re keeping it fun, and keeping it real. Behind your cheerful, uplifting posts is a steely, serious resolve – that’s coming through loud and clear, and exactly right, my friend.

Rubybaby128 days - ROCKING! – I haven’t heard from you for a few weeks or so Rubybaby; I hope everything’s Ok. Do drop a post!

Adamjamal2014-2017125ROCKING! – I am very sorry to hear of your loss. Without question, this is a time of sadness, a time of reflection, and we’re all thinking of you Ok.

Mixer114 - ROCKING! - Keeping it going. Easy? No. Handing financial control over is critical for me; I won’t deny. For how long must I do this? Forever.

Amt722 – 109ROCKING!Very pleased to see you’ve added to your resolve by joining the Christmas Challenge. Adding extra layers of determination will help you. Keep focused, keep strong.

Raj106ROCKING! – Great to see you as our latest ELDER, Raj.

Our STRIVERs

Chartom3 – 98 – ROCKING! It’s always extra tough taking those last few steps to the next, important milestone; we tend to give ourselves a bit more latitude, ‘rewarding’ ourselves by peeking at the odds, or allowing ourselves to watch that chap on the fruit machine. But, why torment ourselves, It’s no better on Day 100 then it is on Day 1. Remind yourself of that sickening Day 1 feeling, Chartom.

4D – 88 – ROCKING! Thank you for checking in 4D, this is impressive. Keep it going, day by day. Beware the wise adage: “Curiousity killed the Cat”, just keep clear of all things gambling.

Athena1991 80 – ROCKING! I haven’t heard from you for a while Athena, here’s hoping all’s well with you. Do say hello!

Adam808 – 68 days – ROCKING! Thanks for checking in Adam and glad to read life’s on the up, and so it should be!

Geo64 days – ROCKING! You’re navigating payday, a real test, and proving you care not only for yourself, but others too. Fully respect, Geo.

Boxingdayfresh63 days – ROCKING! Thanks for checking in BoxingDay, and what a great time of the year to go gambling free. You’re not just talking the (eloquent) talk; you’re also walking the (moneyshot) walk.

Mitch9164 days - ROCKING! – Keep it going Mitch. Don’t stop now. Keep putting solid plans into action so that when temptation or weakness strikes – you’re ready for it.

Paulll61 days - ROCKING! Thank you for checking in and best wishes from us to you, too. You’re in the process of clearing your debts and back on the right track.

Velvet754 days – ROCKING! – Thank you for checking in Velvet and it’s great to see you really going for this. Does it get easier? Maybe not, but it’s all a state of mind this. Let’s enjoy the satisfaction of living that better life.

Moorey42ROCKING! – As you’ve written, strange how the gaming devil has the temerity to visit us in our dreams! But never forget, you’d have probably lost, even in your dreams. As we’ve proved, we can’t win; it’s not part of our nature.

Marson123 35 - ROCKING! – It is wonderful to welcome you to the ranks of Striver.

Christer1 34ROCKING! –  Thank you for checking in, Christer. This is good – you’re showing some gumption here as you determinedly reclaim that Striver status.

Antics – 34 ROCKING! You’ve hit Striver, proving you’ve got what it takes and care about this.

NEW & RE-RESOLVED MEMBERS

A slight change this week – I’m getting rid of the label ‘Newbies’ and referring to anyone with less than 30 days continuous gambling-free as ‘Re-Resolved’ – back in the saddle ready for another crack at getting to Striver. No more ‘Newbies’ which I think is a bit of a ‘trivial’ heading, out of place for (what is) a serious challenge.

Veebee25 - ROCKING! – Good to see your gambling-free total creep up, slowly but surely – like the rest of us! – towards the first meaningful milestone; proiving you’ve put the steps in place to ‘cope’ with a payday. We’re all with you!

Curled Web15ROCKING! – Haven’t heard from you for a while; hope all’s well. Do get in touch!

Slotfool - 24ROCKING – You’re putting in a solid strategy Slotfool and you know there’s no alternative; willpower isn’t, in most cases, enough; simple as that. Accepting, and dealing with our weaknesses, will help you, and us, immensely.

06/11/17 (Previously ‘’Adam123’, Helpless‘& ‘Next Steps’)  - 10  – RELAPSE Keep trying, Adam – remember feeding those slot machines only helps the very grateful pub landlord and the gambling ‘tricksters’, the experts, who know the tricks. Why buy their Christmas dinner and presents?

Abstainer (*ELDER status achieved*) - 17 ROCKING! – I always visit your diary, Stephen. You’re real, you keep it real, you know what a sod this all this. I hope you’re keeping strong my friend; we’re all with you.

REJOINED!

It’s always great to welcome back our members. We never forget – relapsing does happen; but it’s how we respond to it that helps. It’s a sign of strength telling us of a relapse; it’s not easy, because we feel bad enough without sharing it with ‘the group’. But I’ll tell you what – I have the utmost respect for anyone who does.

HowDidIGetToThis (*ELDER status achieved*)6  – REJOINED – It’s great you’re back with us; a warm welcome back to you HDIGTT.

RESTED

guestaccount - RESTED – Sadly, I have to rest you from the challenge. But you are always welcome back Ok.

STATS FOR NERDS: We have ‘rested’ 1 member of our Challenge this week. And 1 has returned! 2 GURUs, 8 ELDERs, 13 STRIVERs and 6 NEW/RE-RESOLVEDs; a net total of 29.

Let’s keep strong; keep sharing and keep strong!

Mixer and Athena, your hosts for this challenge

 

Posted on:
Sun, 03/12/2017 - 22:32

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Thank you Mixer for your dedication and time and wise words - this challenge is keeping me motivated and I enjoy reading your updates and the advice is very welcome. You help us to understand things more and put our problems into perspective and encourage us to continue our gamble free journeys, very well done and keep up the good work. I’m looking forward to reaching my next major milestone of 100 days!

Christmas presents mostly all bought and paid for now and feeling positive about the festive season. I’ve been on here since Boxing Day 2014 & it’s my time now to stop messing about trying to quit. I’m here for the long haul - keeping my wits about me. I’ve had enough failed attempts to know my weaknesses. Like you say Mixer, it’s allowing yourself a little step on a slippery slope. For example, I know now I cannot let myself anywhere near bingo, arcades etc. Inevitably in the past, it’s always ended badly. Now is my time to really listen to common sense and logic and avoid any form of gambling for good. I will do it this time, I HAVE to do it ! 

Posted on:
Mon, 04/12/2017 - 09:48

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Hi Boxingdayfresh,

Thank you for your thoughtful post - it's clear that you "get" this and this understanding will be pivotal as you continue this lifetime journey (because life itself is a journey, no less!). Really glad you've got all the presents sorted, one less thing to worry about meaning you can relax and feel a genuine sense of achievement.

The call of the gambling devils that infest our thoughts now and then can be loud, but we must continue to desist. I try to picture things where I can, and imagine I'm booting the gambling devil into space, into the long grass where it belongs. Each time it slinks back, because it's a determined 'devil', I boot it again, hard. It's getting more sore, more irritated and more desperate each time, but that's just fine with me. It's great the gambling addiction is on the "other foot", as it were.

You've got it eactly right and say it like it is. We have to stop messing about and have to stop. There is no choice if the "choice" is between a better life or guaranteed misery. Who on earth would rationally choose misery?

With you all the way, shoulder to shoulder, Boxingdayfresh. Thank you once again for a fantastic post.

 

Posted on:
Mon, 04/12/2017 - 09:58

Christer1

Joined:
2016-02-29

I love your roll call mixer you put things into perspective Alot and give us all a reality check thankyou I enjoy this challenge. I've bought our presents and even had a new bathroom put in which had a big help from A relative leaving money but the most important thing was a they left me a large sum of money and not one penny I spent on gambling all went on bathroom and share abit with my kids and I will give that to them Xmas day. Sorry I'm ramblin

Posted on:
Mon, 04/12/2017 - 10:20

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Thanks Mixer for the weekly rollcall ,great reading as usual really is one of the things that help  keep me on the straight and narrow and look forward to reading each week .... Keep up the good work

Posted on:
Mon, 04/12/2017 - 10:50

rubybaby123

Joined:
2017-07-31

Sorry it's late mixer xxx

129 days gf

Posted on:
Mon, 04/12/2017 - 14:23

changemylife

Joined:
2016-11-02

Another terrific weekly update and roll call Mixer. Your message is always full of hope and encouragement, with a good dose of caution and advise thrown in the mix.

I'm so glad you're walking the walk and it's clear that your strength, belief and determination is due to blocks, accountability and choosing life.

Keep up the good work my friend.

Posted on:
Mon, 04/12/2017 - 15:52

Mitch91

Joined:
2017-10-03

Checking in GF 65 Days now.

Christmas presents all paid for, even managed to treat myself to a new coat, at £155 this would have been placed on sports bets. feels good to get something out of the money im working hard to earn, and not just throwing it away. Can feel myself getting in the xmas spirit a bit now having not enjoyed it for the past 5/6 years. 

Counselling sessions are going well, after the first 2/3 i left feeling drained and a bit low about everything, that seems to have changed and im coming out feeling a lot more positive now. Not had any urge to bet for about 3weeks now which is a massive positive, even when im following my football team and watching football on the TV i dont think about what the odds would be on something. 

 

Hope you all are staying GF and feeling good like i do atm.

 

 

Posted on:
Mon, 04/12/2017 - 22:09

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Thanks Mixer.

I like the idea of booting the gambling devil - I can imagine him lurking around the corners and it feels good to keep sticking the boot in so to speak ! 

Great to hear a little about others journeys too and it’s clear we are happier and generally better prepared for Christmas without the gambling devil upon our shoulders.

 

Posted on:
Tue, 05/12/2017 - 06:59

Moorey631986

Joined:
2016-09-08

Day 44 - Checking in :)

Posted on:
Wed, 06/12/2017 - 00:26

Christer1

Joined:
2016-02-29

37 gf now

Posted on:
Wed, 06/12/2017 - 16:05

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Christer1 - thank you for your kind comments. It's fantastic that you've put your recent windfall to very good use, something that will benefit you and your loved ones for years to come. Never worry about rambling btw ... ramble away :)

Charton3 - I'm glad that the Challenge is helping you. As part of a "balanced diet", including good gamblng blockers, support and a big dollop of determination, you can live this better life for as long as you want to - why on earth would you want to stop now? Keep it going, my friend!

Rubybaby - thank you for checking in Rubes - and delighted you're on the good path, you know how much this matters :)

Changemylife - thank you for your kind words, and I likewise wish you well, too. Having hit 400 days, you've certainly found the 'formula' but with no complacency; you realise, as we all must, that we've got to keep 'taking the medicine' to keep us on an even keel :)

Mitch - what a great feeling it is, isn't it, to buy something, useful, needed and of a high quality - case in point, your new coat. With an extra cold winter ahead you can rightly feel damned proud for making such a good investment. Glad the counselling's going well, and I agree, it can be draining, but you're sticking at this, always reminding yourself, every day: today, no matter what, I am not placing any kind of bet. Then you can relax and enjoy the day, enjoy life!

Boxingday - glad you liked my gambing devil analogy. I'm always booting this devil away, sometimes into the sea, sometimes onto concrete and occasionally a bubbling caudron of fire (although the devil would probably like that ...!)

Moorey - great to see you steadfastly back into the zone; stay here Moorey, it's a good place to be. Heck, I know this isn't easy; I've been gambing for years. But we've got to try our best. We'll never have a "road to Damascus" or Eureka moment when we say: "I get it!!! I shouldn't gamble!" because we're very entrenched. But ... we can tilt our mindset just 1% to the left so at least we don't carry out the act of placing a bet. That little tilt makes all the difference!

Let's keep strong everyone. Remember - we don't have to do this! We can keep our money. Let's continue to give ourselves a break, relax, and dare to feel good!

Mixer

 

Posted on:
Thu, 07/12/2017 - 07:30

velvet7

Joined:
2017-05-26

Still here, still GF! Thanks Mixer for your time and encouragement. X

Posted on:
Thu, 07/12/2017 - 09:05

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Velvet - great to hear! Keep it going ... there is no reason to gamble :)

Posted on:
Thu, 07/12/2017 - 20:45

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Checking in on 28 days! My best so far I think, pretty sure I've only made it to 27 days previously so pleased with that :)
Best start making way for 1 more Striver because here I come guys

Posted on:
Thu, 07/12/2017 - 22:26

Moorey631986

Joined:
2016-09-08

Checking in on Day 46

Posted on:
Fri, 08/12/2017 - 13:40

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Checking in day 103 .... hanging in there

Posted on:
Fri, 08/12/2017 - 14:18

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Slotfool - you're heading towards Striver - excellent; Morrey - as ever, delighted with your steely determination. Chartom - yes, you've hit 100, but there's no respite - you have to keep enjoying what you know is a much better life!

For anyone wavering, or finding being gambling-free really tough right now; try this.

Visit the Family and Friends part of the forums. I've mentioned this before; but it's worth repeating. You'll read heartbreaking tales of family and friends of compuslive gamblers really struggling. Debts are uncovered, relationships ruined, trust gone. Let's not do this to those who care about us so much. Never forget them.

I visit the Family and Friends thread pretty much every day. I find myself saddened, humbled, guilty for what I've done in the past - but then I re-resolve not to do this any more. I'm turning this around. Let's all turn it around. I read somewhere that compulsive gamblers are "good" people, deep down. Well, probably ...

I say: let's prove it. Let's prove we're good people. By staying gambling free. Putting steps in place for when we're weak and realising this is for life. Let's see what we say we're really made of, and wear our hearts on our sleeves.

Mixer

Posted on:
Sat, 09/12/2017 - 22:38

Raj

Joined:
2017-07-05

Hey Guys..still GF.. been busy recently before Xmas..not gambled a penny..more interested in the the gym and paying my debt off..though flashback of a made month still flash in my mind..no urges though..that’s the main thing..keep strong everyone.

 

Posted on:
Sun, 10/12/2017 - 01:05

Abstainer

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hi Mixer and the 'Guru Challengers.' Hope everyone is ok. Enjoyed reading last weeks 'Rollcall' which is always light hearted and fun but delivers a serious message to us all.

Not feeling 100% yet. Came out of hospital last Sunday after being admitted the Tuesday before with a high, irregular heartbeat and pneumonia. Still have chest pain and breathing's not too good but doctors said it would take weeks to clear up. It's all because of my COPD which came about through smoking. Stopped 16+ years ago aged 50 but the damage had been done by than. What an idiot.67 now and lungs messed up with my smoking and relationships messed up with my gambling. Worked hard all my life and nothing to show for it. 

Day 24 Gamble Free. Hoping I can now wear my heart on my sleeve and walk the walk. Going for 'Guru Status' as I think 500 days and I will have cracked it, just got to make sure I don't flick the self destruct switch.

 

 

Posted on:
Sun, 10/12/2017 - 09:02

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Best wishes to you Abstainer. Keep going on the gamble free path ... nothing will ensure your future happiness more than if you stay gamble free., you can do it this time ... We, unfortunately, cannot change or undo the past, but decisions we make each day will shape our future. 

Checking in on 70 days today and really determined to keep going. I’ve also very little material possessions to show for years of working ... sadly just debts.? But 2018 will be my first full year gamble free, so things are looking up ! 

Posted on:
Sun, 10/12/2017 - 09:04

sjwsjw

Joined:
2017-10-27

Well done BDF. Im exactly the same not much to show but debt. Im only 5 days ahead of you. Lets make next year a good one all the way!

Posted on:
Sun, 10/12/2017 - 09:21

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Unfortunately i am back to day 1 again ........ the strong urges i had been having finally got to much for me,disappointed in my self would be an understatement, feel a real let down but must somehow try and find the strengh to go again :(

Posted on:
Sun, 10/12/2017 - 11:59

paulll

Joined:
2009-10-16

Checking in 67 days 

Posted on:
Sun, 10/12/2017 - 14:20

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

191 GF DAYS !!! Checking in baby   :)

Posted on:
Sun, 10/12/2017 - 15:02

Christer1

Joined:
2016-02-29

Checking in day 41 another small milestone

Posted on:
Sun, 10/12/2017 - 17:36

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

** GURU CHALLENGE -  Latest WEEKLY ROLLCALL!  ***

It's Sunday, 10th December.

 

Welcome, once again, friends. I write this, like many of us, looking out of the window to a snowy vista. Winter’s arrived, alright, although it's technically Autumn, still, ‘til the 21st Dec.

Hey, I won’t deny being a bit ‘stir crazy’ today, ‘housebound’ all day, but that’s no excuse to gamble. To the outsider looking in, what’s more ‘sad’ (in every way), soullessly sitting in front of our computer, tablet or phone screens, gambling away our hard-earned money? Yet, sadly, that’s what so many of us have done, as part of this corrosive habit we’ve picked up.

Let’s never forget, we don’t have to waste our money away on nothing. But if really want to stop, really, really want to stop, there’s nothing for it but to pull out all the stops, because willpower (and even counselling and other support) alone is often not good enough. We’re that hooked, we must face it. A select few of us can turn this around through willpower and other psychological support, but not many – I would say this is a fact.

So it means putting practical blockers in place. The best one, in my experience, is restricting the money supply, having trusted loved ones or friends control our spending – I do this. No ready, unaccountable supply of money, rigorously enforced = no gambling.

Banning ourselves from bookies, casinos and arcades can help, too; but there are holes with this approach. What if you decide to gamble in a bookies after you’ve self-excluded; who’s culpable? I read a post where someone, and he was most indignant about it, saying he spent a grand in a bookies he had self-excluded from and wanted his money back – the staff should have stepped in. I have very limited sympathy, I’m afraid – the onus is on him, on us, to uphold our side of the deal. What if he had won? He can’t have it both ways, I’m afraid. We have to take responsibility. The staff aren’t perfect, they can’t spot everyone; don’t shoot the messenger.

Another practical solution is to move somewhere without gambling. That rules out the UK, probably. That’s a toughy for a zillion different reasons and not practical in most cases. Again, I’ve read dairies from desperate souls seriously contemplating emigrating to a non-gambling jurisdiction, but unless you’ve got quite a few quid in the bank, or that good a job or trade, then we have to be realistic here.

The best way, therefore, as I say it, is a rigorous approach to controlling finances, allied with continued determination to stop and actions to keep this determination at the fore. We have an ongoing condition so it requires ongoing attention. Whether writing (and maintaining) dairies here, phoning Gamcare, joining GA, counselling, support from friends and GPs, whatever steps we take, we have to keep at it. Lapse and we have a chance of failing, and we don’t really want to waste our lives like this.

It’s in our hands this, and I know it’s not easy. I have lapsed more than most over the years, in fact my last lapse was earlier this year, on Day 84, and I then disappeared from the ‘scene’.

That’s no good; I know that, for myself, my family, our future and my sanity I must stop, and ‘so say all of us’. Let’s not wait till we’re completely in the gutter, because that’s where it could sadly end otherwise. If we lapse – and many of us do – scramble straight back in the saddle.

No blaming others; that includes gambling companies – they do what they do, it’s up to us to deal with it. No overtly seeking of sympathy; but accepting of empathy. No excuses – straight back on the straight and narrow. To the better life to which we all aspire!

So… this week…

  • Are you RESTED? Have you disappeared from the forums for a few weeks; if so, you are taken off the Challenge. We wish you luck! 
  • Are you RELAPSING? It happens, but you’ve been honest enough to admit it. Make sure you’re putting in place extra steps right now … else it will happen again and you’ll get nowhere
  • Or are you ROCKING? Still gambling free? Superb… keep living the life you should; not misery!
  • Or have you RETURNED? It's always great to welcome you back.

ROLLCALL OF HONOUR!

Sars27 – Congratulations on your half year gamble free; 183 hard-earned days just passed. It matters, my friend, as you well know. Keep it going!

Veebee – You’re a STRIVER – bloody marvelous! Great news, and fantastic you’re walking the walk here!

Slotfool - Delighted to hear you’ve also reached this critical milestone. Welcome to a great place to be – STRIVER level!

Our GURUs

Phil72 – 670 days – ROCKING! Those final Stepchange payments to go Phil; and I know you’re planning for the extra infusion of household cash you’ll have thereafter.

Changemylife – 408 days – ROCKING! – You’ve commented about an incredible post you read, and I agree it deserves a wider audience. Here it is, everyone (first post, by rich27) - it's well worth a read.

Our ELDERs

Degenerate – 257 days – ROCKING! No complacency, as ever, Degen. Demonstrating that, despite all impediments that invariably show their face, this is the way ahead.

ItMatters – 191 days – ROCKING! Steady as the ship sails, Itmatters. That’s the way.

Sars27 – 191 days – ROCKING! – Loving, as always, the positivity, laced with that realistic, steely edge

Rubybaby135 days - ROCKING! – Thank you for updating Rubybaby; busy living life!

Adamjamal2014-2017132ROCKING! – You’ve had a tough time of late. You have the wisdom to know that, despite all life is throwing at you, you don’t want to make things worse. We’re all with you, my friend.

Mixer121ROCKING! I maintain – handing over financial control is a godsend. I still find this tough, but without money, I simply cannot gamble; it’s that micro-managed. Gambling free I remain!

Amt722 – 115ROCKING!Thank you for checking in at this crucial time of year. Your resilience is noted.

Raj113ROCKING! – Thank you for your check in and delighted to read that you’re gambling free. Excellent.

Our STRIVERs

4D – 95 – ROCKING! Leading our STRIVER pack, 4D, delighted to see you’re in the zone at this important time of the year, too!

Adam808 – 75 days – ROCKING! With little fuss or fanfare, you’re living life, not misery. Good choice.

Geo71 days – ROCKING! Haven’t heard from you for a while, Geo – hope all’s Ok!

Boxingdayfresh70 days – ROCKING! Taking a measured, methodolical approach to Christmas and that’s sound planning, Boxingday!

Mitch9171 days - ROCKING! – Similar to Boxingday, above, you’re ticking the right boxes as you reappraise the finances. Good move.

Paulll67 days - ROCKING! Thank you for checking in, as always, dealing with this – quite rightly – in a way that suits you.

Velvet761 days – ROCKING! – How much better is it to know the Christmas shopping and all the parapanilia has been dealt with? Priceless!

Moorey49ROCKING! – I always get nervous when posts saying “the urges remain..” appear; they sometimes precipitate a relapse. Prove me wrong Moorey!

Marson123 42 - ROCKING! – I read your latest diary post, Marson, and you’re quite right – when feeling weak remember the lows. The guilt, the losses, how it made you feel. I was very saddened to read about you and your wife though; who knows, maybe with time, and you seen to be steering a gambling-free path, and a gambling-free you, things, given time, may change. Thinking of you mate.    

Christer1 41ROCKING! –  Thank you, as always, for checking in, Christer, and you’ve said this is a small milestone you’ve hit. I look at it this way. This milestone – 41 days – is the most important milestone you’ve ever hit. The same applies tomorrow. Every milestone, every day, matters.

Antics – 40 ROCKING! Haven’t heard from you for a while, Antics; hope everything’s going well.

Veebee32 ROCKING! - Really great to see you get promoted up the gambling-free ranks Veebee!

Slotfool - 31ROCKING! - This is really great Slotfool. Slotfool no longer, for as long you want to be, or – more to the point - need to be.

RE-RESOLVED MEMBERS

Abstainer (*ELDER status achieved*) - 24 ROCKING! – Thank you for your post and I know you’re laid up right now. We are so with you. (Will post on your thread later!)

06/11/17 (Previously ‘’Adam123’, Helpless‘& ‘Next Steps’)  - 17  – ROCKING! Keep it going, Adam, let’s see you really want this, my friend.

HowDidIGetToThis (*ELDER status achieved*) – 13  – REJOINED – You’ve demonstrated staying power before; you will again.

Chartom3 (*ELDER status achieved*) – 1 – RELAPSE - Such a shame Chartom, you’d just reached ELDER! But no time to dwell, straight back into gambling-free mode. However you gambled, do your damnedness to make sure you block this next time you’re tempted. Otherwise – it may happen again. Nothing changes if nothing changes. Kudos for our honesty; confronting the truth head on and sharing it with us. Full respect.

RESTED

Curled WebRESTED – Sadly, have to rest you, Curled Web. You’re welcome back any time.

Athena1991 – RESTED - With sadness, I have to rest you Athena. Do get in touch if you’d like to, we’d like that!

STATS FOR NERDS: We have ‘rested’ 2 members of our Challenge this week. No new members, so we currently have 2 GURUs, 8 ELDERs, 13 STRIVERs and 4 NEW/RE-RESOLVEDs; a net total of 27.

Let’s keep strong; keep sharing and keep strong!

Mixer and Athena, your hosts for this challenge

Posted on:
Sun, 10/12/2017 - 18:26

Moorey631986

Joined:
2016-09-08

Thanks as always for the RollCall, Mixer. A top effort mate. 

The urges usually dissappear once the weekend is finally complete. It’s Saturdays that holds my biggest challenges. 

Although those urges are lessening in terms of time (duration). Once the 3pm matches are complete, I can put my mind to other, less destructive things. 

Determined to stay gamble free.

Day 50 tomorrow. One I shall celebrate with a glass of red :)

Posted on:
Sun, 10/12/2017 - 19:23

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Thanks Mixer, reading the rollcall has given me a pick up and hope that i can see my gf days add up again, have blocked off the loophole i had and will do my upmost to get back on track again ....... thanks again.

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