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Posted on:
Mon, 28/08/2017 - 22:24

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

Cardhue

just a gentle reminder this diary is for people who believes in "counting the number of Gf days  " and  like myself believes who also believes in positive thinking  .  Mixer has a great idea of taking your "argument "  in your diary as we like to keep this thread positive in everyway. 

I mean why argue this thread if the purpose is to help others who are struggling . It's simple if you believe this thread will help you as an individual join and if not ... keep scrolling as it's nice to maintain a positive ambiance here .

Sars 

Posted on:
Mon, 28/08/2017 - 22:36

alainepo

Joined:
2016-07-27

Remember it's your thread and your challenge Mixer, you don't have to set the rules for any single persons approval. Plenty of us like what you are doing and are happy with your 'positivity' and 'intentions' just the way they are. You are running a great thread dedicating your time so don't get bogged down answering questions you don't need to regarding thinking or outlook which people aren't confused about. You put so much time into your posts and on this forum Mixer please keep it up, those many of us who appreciate it thank you for it and those who are 'concerned' can preach their lines wherever they choose. We know your 'congratulations' won't cure us but they are still nice to hear from such a lovely dedicated poster as yourself. This thread like all threads on here is what it is and i thank you for it, keep it going mate it's fine for me and plenty others and always a pleasant read.

Posted on:
Mon, 28/08/2017 - 22:44

amt722

Joined:
2013-11-10

All getting a bit to in depth and serious for me with the in's and out's of what's right and wrong. Surely if this thread (challenge) help's one to remain gamble free then it's a good thing. I don't post much but do read this thread and various other's on gamcare regularly throughout each day/evening. It actually keeps me focused and as I'm in the early stages of abstainence (12days), that for me is a positive thing. Sometimes one needs a goal to reach in order to succeed in the early stages of anything in life. That's my opinion (worthless maybe). Mixer keep up the good work. 

 

Posted on:
Mon, 28/08/2017 - 23:17

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Hi Sars, Alainpo, Amt

Thank you all for your kind comments. And I do take your points - this thread is very straightforward in its premise. A place where we can meet up, see how we're all getting on and gee each other on. With a bit of fun and humour from time to time. As if to say, this is tough at times, very tough, but let's engage; who knows, it might help!

Certainly, you all realise the reality of compulsive gambling - that it's more than daily counters and congratulations from time to time. But I believe this thread would start to organically, naturally delve a bit deeper, as it settled; without losing its bright and breezy personality!

I fear that this Challenge is getting a bit 'bogged down' at the moment. I think this has been driven by some questioning, critical, posts which, although mostly well-intentioned have somewhat indirectly  knocked the dynamic of the Challenge off-kilter. I'm not blaming anyone here; just making an observation of the cause/effect. However, other comments have tried to put a spanner in the works IMO, not because the points raised weren't good, but how they were raised with inherently negative undertones. The correspondant knows who I'm talking about. 

Now I don't mind a good debate, especially on the technical, psychological or indeed any aspects of our condition, and have now taken these offline (to other diary threads). 

I would like to request that if anyone wants to discuss the merits or otherwise of the challenge if they could post a message to one of my other threads - thank you. I'll always read, digest and reply! 

Rest assured, this challenge will get back on track. I'm always prepared to listen to suggestions to make it better. But ultimately I want to keep it simple, engaging but above all, effective and useful. I just want to be GF tomorrow. I want you to be GF tomorrow! As we go along, and need more questions asked, to help us on our journeys, we'll ask em right? 

Ok, gonna go now. Bit tired. One final request... let's all have a GF day tomorrow :) 

 

Posted on:
Tue, 29/08/2017 - 07:47

Raj

Joined:
2017-07-05

Hey guys...10 days GF..but the main thing is not thinking of placing a bet..only regrets but more positives thoughts. 

Keep posting on here guys..

 

Posted on:
Tue, 29/08/2017 - 09:00

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Keep doing what your doing Mixer, if some people dont like it thats fine everyone is intitled to there opinion but from what i can see and have experienced, the challenge helps alot of people on here, and is that not what this place is for, helping people...... keep up the good work

Posted on:
Tue, 29/08/2017 - 10:03

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Raj - thank you for your post. I have high hopes for you actually - there's some inner strength shining through your post. Try not to regret - easy done, especially if you are still getting over a big loss (like me), but we must think forward and not repeat the episiode. I will NOT gamble until Christmas by which time, by living a little frugally, I will have 'made up' the money I've lost. And then I intend to keep going for a full year and generate a target level of savings. Day-to-day I intend to stop but I have short and medium term targets in mind. Worth a thought!

Chartom - thank you for your support of this thread. I know you've been finding it diffuicult to build GF momentum of late but let's see what we can do this time, eh! You managed a year GF way back if I recall. Let's try it again. From today. One day at a time.

* LET'S BE CUNNING *

Truth is, we can find any reason to lapse. And we can, if we try, circumnavigate any barriers we put in place. (Although we can make those barriers into formidable obstacles!)

A few thoughts.

One, if we take away any one of these three, we can't gamble. Time, Money or Opportunity (i.e. gambling location - online, bricks and mortar etc.)

So worth considering how you can extinguish, as much as you can, one of those three. Think of the most 'drastic' thing you can do and work back. The most drastic thing to remove cash from the equation would be to cut up your bank card. But wait - might that work? Could you transfer money to friends or loved ones who could pass you spending money day-to-day? Do not dismiss anything that might actually work; and in the early days of recovery (which may last a lifetime) don't dismiss anything.

Two, ever thought why you gamble? Is it *really* that much fun losing money - remember we are 'hard-wired' never to keep any winnings, we always give them back?

Often, there's a reason which a trained councillor, for example, might be able to help determine. Sort the underlying issue out and the gambling should be rooted out too, is the general idea. Do consider counselling if you're truly wondering why you've been behaving so weird - compulsive gambling isn't normal. As we all know. 

*** THE JOY OF BEING GAMBLING FREE TODAY ***

Being gambling free has instant results - straightaway, we stop looking into the darkness, stopping the soulless  conversing with inanimate objects (slots) and abstract 'friends' (betting slips) - we join the real world instead.

As as time goes on things just get better and better. Relationships improve, we open our eyes to more things, we feel better and the financial situation improves.

Being GF is much more than the money, although it's a wonderful by-product of being GF!

Let's all be GF today... gambling is miserably 'black and white', 'win or lose'.

Let's forget all that - and live a real life. In full glorious colour - and all shades in between!

Life will have its moments as life does. But even when life throws challenges our way, we're in a better place to deal with them, gambling-free. Real life is a damn sight more colourful and brighter than the skint, dingy world of the dreary grey misery of post-gambling losses...!

Posted on:
Tue, 29/08/2017 - 12:57

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

*** WHO'S UP FOR A CHAT TODAY or TONIGHT ***

The Gamgare Chatrooms are open every day - a great opportunity to chat things through with fellow hardy souls wanting to be gambling-free.

Here's where: www.gamcare.org.uk/chat   

And here's when!

Mon: 7pm-8pm, 9pm - 10pm
Tue: 2pm-3pm, 7pm-8pm, 9pm-10pm
Wed: 7pm-8pm, 9pm-10pm
Thu: 7pm-8pm, 9pm-10pm
Fri: 2pm-3pm, 8pm-9pm
Sat: 2pm-3pm, 8pm-9pm
Sun: 8pm-9pm

:)

 

Posted on:
Tue, 29/08/2017 - 22:13

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

*** HERE'S WHAT LIFE'S ABOUT ***

Evening everyone! Recovering gamblers like us - taking the gambling free road, day to day - are choosing LIFE instead of misery. LIFE - wow, living life like it should be lived. Great choice! 

Here are ten ways to make our gambling-free life even better! And there's more to come -  50 ways in all, that I'll publish over the course of this week. These originate from SkyBlueBlue's diary here on Gamcare; a highly recommended read, a gem of a diary!

 

  • Time is the most valuable commodity on the planet, and we all have it in equal amounts. It’s how we spend it that matters. Spend it with people who make your heart sing, spend it with those people who would break your heart if they were not around.
  • Too much of one thing normally means not enough of another. If you are spending too long at work, too long on in the pub or too long on the golf course, it means that not enough of your time is being spent elsewhere. In the end you will miss wonderful moments you can never get back.
  • Really appreciate people, and savour every moment with them. One day sadly you will find they have gone.
  • We are all exactly the same, colour, religion, location, age, size and shape may label us, but we all came from the same place and will return there.
  • Empathy, Love, Compassion, Forgiveness, and Respect are paths to contentment. When we wander off these paths or someone blocks our way, we make bad decisions which hurt us deep inside.
  • School is really is the best time of your life. The ability to learn is a wonderful gift, as is the art of teaching and passing on knowledge. It’s a microcosm of evolution itself, it is the survival of the fittest so grab every piece of knowledge that you can.
  • Read a book every month. It takes you to places you have never been and may never go to. It introduces places that you may end up travelling to. It offers insight into different lives and thoughts, situations and cultures, people and times. It shows us what it is to be humans.
  • When you feel something is wrong, it almost every time is wrong…the sooner you understand and act on this the better.
  • When you feel something is right, it isn’t always the case…follow the feeling until it feels wrong.
  • It’s hard to walk away from trouble, but it really is less painful in the long run. Long term grudges or vendettas eat away at the soul. Lashing out may hurt you as much, or more than the other person, and tends to mean lawyer’s fees and fines.  

 

Ten more life-affirming reasons tomorrow. Here's to a GF day everyone!

 

Posted on:
Wed, 30/08/2017 - 00:19

zulu13

Joined:
2013-11-06

 

Hey Mixer,

Your challlenge is going well and has had so much interest. Well done for having a positive idea and giving it a go. It has been great having your support and positivity on the chat room too. Keep going and keep encouraging others. Remember we can only continue in recovery by giving it to others.

Guru Zulu.

 

Posted on:
Wed, 30/08/2017 - 19:54

Athena1991

Joined:
2016-09-17

 

Checking in for another gamble free day because my life is better that way!

The weekend has been crazy busy but am really happy that I am half way to reach "striver" status. I hope you are all having a wonderful gf day and hope to catch some of you on chat later.

Athena

Posted on:
Wed, 30/08/2017 - 20:16

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

Well done Athena ! Way to go ! :)

Sars 

Posted on:
Wed, 30/08/2017 - 20:21

Xenedra

Joined:
2017-08-16

I'm joining the chat tonight, never caught it before

Posted on:
Wed, 30/08/2017 - 20:42

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

 

*** HERE'S WHAT LIFES ABOUT - PART 2 ***

First, a quickie update: Athena - Half way to 'Stirver' status; get's get you there :) ; Sars - stormin' it - day by day. If you think you're 'free' of this, you *are* free of this :) Xenedra - great idea, I might be on there too, I'm a regular! Zulu - thank you mate, likewise, you're doing a great job helping others - and you're right, it helps you, too - Karma :) !

Last night, courtesy of SkyBlueBlue's awe-inspiring diary, I listed 10 ways to make our gambling-free life better. Here are 10 more!

Why not have a cup of tea, and slowly ponder each of these little gems ....

  • Travel whenever possible, the places with the least to offer materialistically always offer far more spiritually.
  • Feel every emotion and learn to enjoy each one for what it is…..part of the wonder which is life.
  • Be brave! Tell that girl she is beautiful, ask for a pay rise (if you know you deserve it), …….Fortune does favour it!
  • Be wary of those who don’t drink. They remember the next day, and take great joy in reminding you and telling others about things you cannot.
  • Great Britain is the best little place in the world. We have a rich history of invention, we have four very different seasons, our scenery is up there with the best and our beer hits the spot.
  • Some people are needy and selfish, it’s not something they are necessarily aware of or can alter. If you have the energy give them your time, if you don’t have, walk away politely.
  • If someone enters your mind, take a moment to email, call, text, snapchat or what’s app them and ask them how they are! Knowing we are not alone is a fundamental need, and letting someone know you care costs nothing at all.    
  • Make lists, have goals, prioritise them and do everything you can to achieve them however big or small. There are not many better feelings than a sense of purpose and a sense of achievement.
  • Aim high, think big, it is all possible…but you have to visualise it and believe it possible!
  • Dance – Dance even if no one else is, Dance in the rain, Dance in the light, it’s your song that’s playing right now!

Let's keep Gambling Free - let's be 'free' of this addiction. The choice is ours. Sunshine or misery; it really is as simple as that.

Posted on:
Thu, 31/08/2017 - 10:42

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

My ego is telling me I want to be the first guru (!) so - I'm in!

Posted on:
Thu, 31/08/2017 - 11:04

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Hi Phil - I am genuinely delighted that you're joining our group. OUR FIRST "GURU"!  And having known you for quite a while now, you have been so honest about your journey and been of great help and support to fellow recoverers. You're a regular on the chatrooms. Yes, you have your moments but don't we all? We are passionate people at the end of the day. Wanting to use some of that passion, some of that zest, to live a life - not go down the miserable road to misery - has to be a good thing in my book. The warmest of welcomes, Phil.

*** NEWS IN GENERAL ***

And there's another bit of good news today. A major online gaming website has been fined £7m for not following proper processes in respect of dealing with self-excluded customers - it let them carry on! Those customers will be refunded. (I won't link to the story as that's contrary to Gamcare's forum rules but you can find it on the BBC website today.)

The tide is starting to turn ... the regulators are (at long last) starting to bite. But we need to do our bit and SELF-EXCLUDE from all online casinos and SELF EXCLUDE from all land cased tempations, like bookies (one phone call is all it takes - 0800 294 2060 - and you're banned from all local bookies and those you specify.)

If only every visitor to Gamcare with bookie/FOBT issues just rang that number; if it was the first thing they did - it would be a huge positve startpoint in so many ways. 0800 294 2060! Takes 20 minutes!

It's payday for some of us today. Let's keep our money, put it to better use, whatever's free. We know gamblings no good for us. Let's remain FREE of it. We have the choice - life or misery; but it's not really a choice, is it; so the decision is actually very simple.

Posted on:
Thu, 31/08/2017 - 18:05

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

Thank you Mixer for your kind words. Best wishes, Phil

Posted on:
Thu, 31/08/2017 - 19:01

Gem1209

Joined:
2017-08-14

Mixer wrote:

Hi Phil - I am genuinely delighted that you're joining our group. OUR FIRST "GURU"!  And having known you for quite a while now, you have been so honest about your journey and been of great help and support to fellow recoverers. You're a regular on the chatrooms. Yes, you have your moments but don't we all? We are passionate people at the end of the day. Wanting to use some of that passion, some of that zest, to live a life - not go down the miserable road to misery - has to be a good thing in my book. The warmest of welcomes, Phil.

*** NEWS IN GENERAL ***

And there's another bit of good news today. A major online gaming website has been fined £7m for not following proper processes in respect of dealing with self-excluded customers - it let them carry on! Those customers will be refunded. (I won't link to the story as that's contrary to Gamcare's forum rules but you can find it on the BBC website today.)

The tide is starting to turn ... the regulators are (at long last) starting to bite. But we need to do our bit and SELF-EXCLUDE from all online casinos and SELF EXCLUDE from all land cased tempations, like bookies (one phone call is all it takes - 0800 294 2060 - and you're banned from all local bookies and those you specify.)

If only every visitor to Gamcare with bookie/FOBT issues just rang that number; if it was the first thing they did - it would be a huge positve startpoint in so many ways. 0800 294 2060! Takes 20 minutes!

It's payday for some of us today. Let's keep our money, put it to better use, whatever's free. We know gamblings no good for us. Let's remain FREE of it. We have the choice - life or misery; but it's not really a choice, is it; so the decision is actually very simple.

I wonder if gamcare will remove ***from their certified status ? I mean how could they not?

Posted on:
Thu, 31/08/2017 - 19:11

Athena1991

Joined:
2016-09-17

 

I'm glad to see that action is being taken against sites that are not being responsible in the way  they regulates their sites. I have used the site before and found them poor in terms of helping me when i excluded! Therefore hopefully this is the start of the industry tightening up and ensuring operators are taking responsbility.

Checking for another gf day - as i was writing this i thought why would i gamble and throw away money for no reason!? The answer is... never agin! Im settling as many of my debts as I can and hopefully will be debt free in 6 months! 

Will try and catch chat but might not happen as after watching bake off i have the bug so am cooking a chocolate tart!

Athena

Posted on:
Thu, 31/08/2017 - 19:50

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

*** HERE'S WHAT LIFE'S ABOUT - BUMPER EDITION! ***

Firstly a quick update: Gems - agreed; this casino operator's behaviour was a disgrace. And there are more to follow, from what I hear ;) Athena - delighted you're on the GF road, motoring now. Enjoy bake off!!!!

 

Here are the final 30 ways to improve your GF life, once agan courtesy of SkyBlueBlue's fabulous diary. Tip: Take your time reading these. They're not to be rushed ...

 

  • All 7.5 billion of us exist on a speck of dust which is revolving around a slightly larger speck of dust at 67,000 miles an hour in an indefinable space without any control over our destiny. Your tiny little life is therefore not that important in the big scheme of things, however every single word you speak and action you take has an impact on others all around the globe, so choose what you say and do very carefully. 

 

  • Friends and Colleagues are important, Family is all. Resolve issues, don’t let them fester. If you have let them fester, resolve them today…there may not be a tomorrow.

 

  • Eat what you like, when you like. Why would you eat what you don’t like, when you don’t want to?

 

  • Exercise is healthy but then again so is sleeping, do as you feel – it’s your life and no one can alter that fact.

 

  • We all make mistakes, and instead of learning from them, tend to repeat them despite the obvious pain they cause. The secret really is listening to yourself before you take action, consider options and probable outcomes wherever possible…..We tend to know how things will pan out.  

 

  • Be good, if you have the time, the skill or the financial means help with no expectation of return…it feels amazing for the giver just as much as the receiver….try it!

 

  • On each of the 1500 times the average couple make love the man releases 500 million sperm, of which one will connect with one of the 2 million eggs  that the woman was born with. That’s odds of 500,000,000 x 2,000,000 x 1,500 that you are here at all. You are very special – remember that!

 

  • For you to exist and produce a specific child has odds of 500,000,000 x 2,000,000 x 1,500 x 500,000,000 x 2,000,000 x 1,500. Children are the most amazing, wondrous things, treat them with love, awe and light them the paths.

 

  • Today is all that matters. Don’t forget the past, but don’t dwell on it, By all means make plans, but that’s all they are at this stage. Today is the day, today is your day!

 

  • Slow down and admire the view. A journey gets you from A to B, it is the journey itself that takes time and therefore provides an opportunity to reflect and take stock.

 

  • However you see yourself and whatever you think of yourself, it’s is a million light years away from how you portray yourself and how others see you. If you are brave enough ask!

 

  • Everyone has fears and failings, everyone! From the top CEO to mega-rich sportsmen/women and rock stars. They are no better than you, in fact you may well be a better person than they are.

 

  • Don’t have a dig at your boss, they may frustrate you, but they are generally trying their best in a difficult set of circumstances. Remember the emperor may be wearing new clothes, but the emperor is still the emperor, naked or not!

 

  • Television is designed to dumb us down. Watching actors and actresses playing out fictional lives in soaps is to stop us thinking about and challenging our own.

 

  • Break the rules wherever possible. If we all adhered and complied we as a race would not evolve. Challenge what you are told, break the mould, smash through the glass ceilings and if necessary kick down the statues.

 

  • It’s good to have faith but keep it personal. Organised religion can be divisive, dangerous and thrives on the insecurities of us humans. King Zog of Albania may well have had it right!

 

  • Karaoke’s should never be held in the same location more than once a year. The same people singing the same songs poorly each week is not what should be viewed as entertainment.

 

  • People are generally a disappointment, but when someone comes up trumps, it’s worth the wait. Keep believing.

 

  • One hour of glory may seem worth far more than a week of mediocrity but a week lasts 167 hours longer!

 

  • Horror films are not good. They teach us that hatred and evil are acceptable and commonplace. If you need to stay in and watch a movie, choose Shawshank, Green Mile, Elf or It’s a Wonderful life.

 

  • Musically the 60s were where it all began, the 70s where it happened and the 80s where it ended.

 

  • Looks do attract, but it is what is inside that matters, go with the latter if you can’t have both.

 

  • Don’t marry young, play the field, but sensibly and with respect. Learn to understand yourself and what you like and dislike before jumping in. Marriage is costly emotionally and financially so choose well.

 

  • Believe. Believe in yourself, believe in your friends and family, believe in humanity, believe in something higher than all of us – they all exist and have limitless possibilities.

 

  • Look for the good. Everything is made of positive and negative energy, there is bound therefore to be some bad news, but if we all recognise, talk up and celebrate the positive, amazing things happen.

 

  • Be an agent for change. Everything happens with a first word, or first step be that person that initiates it, you have permission, there is nothing to stop you.

 

  • Document the moment. Take a picture, write it down…in the years and months to come these records will make you feel alive, whether tears or laughter they will take you right back to the place and time.

 

  • Tuck a little cash away every month and ensure you take family holidays while the kids are still young enough and still interested, these truly are golden moments.

 

  • Communicate. Listen as well as talk, question and try to understand….in everything you do!

 

  • Love. Love yourself, your parents, your children, your friends, your colleagues, even your enemies. John Lennon was right – Love really is all you need!

 

Payday or not Payday - don't give your money way. It makes no sense.  No more!!!

 

Posted on:
Thu, 31/08/2017 - 22:13

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

*** FINAL THOUGHT OF THE DAY ***

Stuck at a loose end? When I have bit of time to spare I dive into the Diaries here on Gamcare. I'll settle on one and read it right through; it's especially great watching the gambling-free days clock up as I read through the entries... and also interesting to read when some of us relapse but get straight back on the saddle, stronger. There's some real inspiration here!

Tonight I've been reading Abstainer's diary (Give peace a chance). What a terrific chap! Abstainer's on Day 116 now, and I've found it fascinating reading his journey from Day 70 to date. There's terrific interaction with like-minded recoverers intermingled with Abstainer's diary entries, typifying the great spirit on here. A recommended read!

Incoming - Friday and the weekend. We're free of gambling - let's ensure we stay there; day to day :)

Posted on:
Fri, 01/09/2017 - 10:02

Abstainer

Joined:
2017-05-10

Thanks Mixer for your vote of confidence , great to receive praise it makes me feel good , probably unfounded but I like it anyway .

Personally I relish and enjoy the Guru Challenge ,  my goal now is 300 Days GF , I feel that is a serious amount of time .

Gurus always have mantras and I already have a few I've picked up in the diaries . Mantras are great for taking my mind off gambling when unwanted thoughts come along .

To me this thread is a good tonic for the blues , it feels energised with fun and enthusiasm . It suits my aim which is to stay positive , focussed and of course gamble free .

Keep smiling at troubles cos troubles are bubbles and bubbles will soon blow away .

 

Posted on:
Fri, 01/09/2017 - 13:26

amt722

Joined:
2013-11-10

Into the 16th day of full abstainence, still reeling from the lost business funds which will take months probably year's to sort. On a positive note have had funds available that I would of gambled but have kept in the business to cover expenses. I am very wary and know I need to keep my guard up as the longer I stay gamble free the more the mind will be telling me that a small amount on the slots won't hurt, £50 stake would turn into a £5000 loss. Looking forward to 30 days gamble free, and Striver status!! 

 

 

 

Posted on:
Fri, 01/09/2017 - 15:14

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

*** WE'VE MOVED ! ***

As you'll have noticed, the Guru Challenge has moved home, at Gamcare's behest (fair enough) and now perched in the 'Overcoming Gambling' Section. I'm sure this Challenge and the legendary 2017 Challenges will make for good bedfellows!

I've also been alerted by Gamcare that some jokes I've posted might offend so they've been removed. Out of interest, the two jokes in question were told by the late, great Terry Wogan on his legendary BBC 2 Breakfast show. But I guess the world's moved on; it makes me feel a bit sad, but that's the way it is. I'll be posting no further jokes, but will retain a sense of humour - that's still allowed (thankfully). If I've truly offended you ....................... what can I say?  Sorry.

Unbowed, back to what we're all about.

Abstainer - an absolute pleasure; sincerely enjoy your thread. amt722 - delighted you're on Day 16 and keeping mighty strong. Making positive strides to Striver - let's do this!

Weekend coming up - let's keep gambing free, one day at a time!

All the best, Mixer

 

Posted on:
Fri, 01/09/2017 - 16:33

ODAAT

Joined:
2014-11-10

I see the chicken made good it's escape ;-)

Posted on:
Fri, 01/09/2017 - 17:07

ALAN 135

Joined:
Before 2009

No Joke's ????..........................  I'm  intetrested in knowing how your brother pronounced his Hamster's name .?.............................. LoL :)) 

Stay safe Buddy :))

Posted on:
Fri, 01/09/2017 - 18:01

Gem1209

Joined:
2017-08-14

I wasn't offended by any of your jokes.  When I joined here about 8 years ago it was a lot less strict than it is today it's a shame the forum admin have to police every post the office must be in North Korea? There seems a lot less encouragement for interaction these days.   this thread and yourself will help more people than you will ever know 

Keep up the good work people like yourself are hard to come by 

Posted on:
Fri, 01/09/2017 - 18:15

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

ODAAT, Alan and Gems,

Thank you for your posts and the points you've raised. We live in very, very sensitive times, so I'm going to have to psychically  transfer a response. Here it comes .... transmitting ... hope you've got it :)

Ok; back to being GF today ... time to concentrate on what really matters; this thread has had enough brickbats lately ..!

Posted on:
Fri, 01/09/2017 - 18:31

[email protected]

Joined:
2014-12-31

As a middle aged white english guy, they didnt hurt me. But as a parent with mixed raced kids ive seen how hurtful & nasty these so called innocent jokes can be when used to isolate someone because of the colour of their skin or their gender can become. Wasnt me who flagged it as offensive as ive never flagged anything except promotion of gambling

Posted on:
Fri, 01/09/2017 - 18:47

[email protected]

Joined:
2014-12-31

Ive been on building sites for 30 years & hear this ***** constantly. When will people understand its not funny its offensive.

Posted on:
Fri, 01/09/2017 - 18:49

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Hi Dayatatime,

Thank you for gracing our thread with a visit. But, with the greatest of  respect, you're going off-topic and its time to stop veering down a contentious course - you've just posted two agitating posts in a row. Please consider the tone of your posts and desist from the same.  

I notice that you have been gambling-free for over 10 years, an amazing achievement. Thank you for visiting this thread and, hope you didn't mind me asking, do you have any tips or insight that might help us become gambling free?

Do you still find you have urges, or would you say you will never gamble again?

And, if you could offer one piece of advice, what would it be?

It would be a shame if, having given your time to visit our thread, we didn't ask you some Recovery-based questions.

I hope you understand me dragging  this thread back on topic, dayatatime; and whilst some might disagree, I believe positivity to be a powerful attribute in our battle against this addiction. Again, any thoughts in this regard?

With the kindest regards, as always

Mixer

Posted on:
Fri, 01/09/2017 - 19:39

[email protected]

Joined:
2014-12-31

I fail to see contention or going off topic. You posted how your jokes had been removed on racist & sexist grounds, although i see you have now edited that post.

If i had a tip, it would be to concentrate on oneself rather than trying to control everyone else.
Stop talking about money & debt.
Start talking about how you feel.
Be fearlessly honest ( not mostly honest).

Do i get urges...no.
Am i cured? No. When i gamble im powerless.

Top tip. Reveal who you really are. Those who hide always fail.

Im not against this thread in any way. I think its good for newbies to band together. I also believe your intentions to be good. However, i think this thread is incredibably unhealthy for you. You obviously spend so much time trying to save others & be a hero it leaves no time to concentrate on your recovery. This is not a judhement as i have done the same thing many times in my years off gambling. Its so much easier to manage other people thsn look at ourselves.

Mixer, i truely see a good man in there, i just wish you could take time to make amends to yourself

Posted on:
Fri, 01/09/2017 - 20:05

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Dear dayatatime,

Wow. As Vic Reeves once famously said: "You wouldn't let it lie."

I remember the last time I set up a challenge in these Forums, and I was the 'Marmite Man' then. Looks like I'm more polarised than ever. So much for the unconditional solidarity, the constructive support on these forums, the single-minded goal that we all seek. (I don't think "damning with faint praise" really counts...)

On the one hand, I could write a long counter-reply to your emotional, highly subjective arguments; it would be enviserating.

But on the other hand, I could simply ignore you altogether which is what I'm going to do. Sorry, dayatatime, not going to give you the 'oxygen'.

All the very best, Mixer

 

Posted on:
Fri, 01/09/2017 - 20:22

Abstainer

Joined:
2017-05-10

I know your well respected in the diaries [email protected] and obviously have good insight into gambling addiction .

Why if you choose to preach to others do you include the wrongly spelt word '*****' in your critisism . Many people myself included find this both offensive and insulting .

Working on a building site doesn't really make this ok . I worked all my life in the merchant navy and than manual working with the council , I don't think this gives me the right to use thinly veiled foul language . 

It's like men who eff  & blind in a mixed sauna and wonder why there's no ladies about .

Posted on:
Fri, 01/09/2017 - 21:02

Gem1209

Joined:
2017-08-14

I'm flabbergasted at the amount of negative comments on this thread from those who seem to have been without a bet for a long time. Talk about trying to kick people when their down. 

And shame on the moderators for letting this constant attack on the newly stopped continue.

I'll certainly be firing some emails higher up the chain over the weekend.

Posted on:
Fri, 01/09/2017 - 21:34

Forum admin

Joined:
2010-11-01

Hi all,

We have noticed there has been a very negative interaction in this tread and we are looking into it. Please, remember that this space is for you to feel supported. If you are not pleased with something you see, it would be more helpful to email your concern to [email protected] rather than start a personal attack. The space affects more people than you think.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Forum Admin

Posted on:
Fri, 01/09/2017 - 21:45

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

Why can't other people just be happy with other method of recovery ... mixer has done nothing but support everyone . But same people always have something to say .. if it's not nice please just keep it to yourself .. we would appreciate a fair and square descision too.

Posted on:
Fri, 01/09/2017 - 22:00

alainepo

Joined:
2016-07-27

I still suffer from stupidly high, unrealistic self expactations from time to time. Wanting to be the best at everything and wanting people to love me. Sometimes even a bad game on the golf course can leave me feeling hollow inside and wanting to address that with a little gamble. Of course i don't gamble these days but i do still want to hide under a blanket when i get those empty feelings. A lot more reasoning with myself these days that i will never be the greatest at everything and that life isn't so bad usually pulls me round but it's not nice when the black clouds of self doubt and self hate gather around. Trying to bin my ego and focussing on the situations when self pride is necessary is my goal. It's a battle and i hope these battles get less over time, at least i can live with myself a lot more these days and without the extra confussion of gambling i seem to have more clarity of thought. Let us crack on eh.

Posted on:
Fri, 01/09/2017 - 22:07

ALAN 135

Joined:
Before 2009

They can't be happy Sar's because apparently everyone apart from themselves are doing everything wrong , It's alway's been  the same for the couple of years I've been on this forum , everyone's got a choice on which direction they want to go with and I'm no exception but two years gamble free and I'm still standing , if I buckle then that's my fault but I'll do what everyone can do and learn from my mistakes . I've alway's said it's a shame that people with long term gamble free time can't just encourage others just starting out without feeling the need to  speak down to them with a cry of " It has to be my way " .

You guy's just keep doing what your doing and as long as it works and you pick each other up if it doesn't then what's the problem ? ................... It looks just fine from where I'm standing :))

"Power to the people " !! 

Posted on:
Fri, 01/09/2017 - 22:30

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

 

*** WE CRACK ON! ***

As Alainepo rightly says: let's crack on! I'll refrain from ALL comment whilst Gamcare do what they need to do; meantime, it's September 1st today, and here are some famous people who are enjoying birthdays today.

So just for fun, as an aside, you might like to guess how old (or young!) these birthday guys and galls are today. Here's a strange thing. Younger people tend to over-estimate their ages and the more older amongst us (inc. yours truly) tend to under-estimate their ages. 

Here we go ...

  • Barry Gibb (Bee Gees)
  • Gloria Estafan (Cuban-American singer/songwriter)
  • Rudd Hullit (Dutch footballer/manager)
  • Tony Cascirino (English-Irish footballer)
  • Craig McLachlan (Australian actor [inc. Neighbours] and singer)

The answers are below...meantime, good night everyone and a happy GF day for tomorrow! :)

 

 

The ages, in order, are: 71, 60, 55, 55 and 52. How'd d'you do :) ?

Posted on:
Sat, 02/09/2017 - 11:27

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

As others have said I think it is best to move on. There will be probably more negativity about this thread but I sense for a lot of people the challenge is beneficial as is the accompanying support.

Posted on:
Sat, 02/09/2017 - 17:25

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

Alan you sir are always helpful and fair ! You're right power to be people ! And yes let's crack on !

Sars 

Posted on:
Sat, 02/09/2017 - 21:06

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

*** ROLLCALL TOMORROW! ***

Meantime, a very enjoyable evening to all members of our challenge, and visitors (friend or foe, we're a broad church). So long as we are all allied against the common enemy; planning or starting (or re-starting) and continuing, a gambling-free journey, in whatever way suits us. And mutally supportive; that's what matters.

Mixer

 

Posted on:
Sun, 03/09/2017 - 01:07

Abstainer

Joined:
2017-05-10

Abstainer checking in with 115 Days GF . Each day is precious to me , it puts me further away from the last bet and makes me stronger . Feeling good about my recovery and enjoying the Guru Challenge .

 

Posted on:
Sun, 03/09/2017 - 09:23

rubybaby123

Joined:
2017-07-31

Checking in 37 days gf :)

Enjoy reading your posts mixer, always cheer me up and keep me motivated

Posted on:
Sun, 03/09/2017 - 09:51

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Checking in 7 days gf......... plenty of ups & downs but glad to report still gamble free

Posted on:
Sun, 03/09/2017 - 11:42

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

*** GURU CHALLENGE -  3rd WEEKLY ROLLCALL!  ***

It's Sunday ... which means - time for a Rollcall!

After, a - erm - lively week ("less said, soonest mended"), here's our latest rollcall. And we begin by introducing our first GURU - Phil72. Once again, it's great to have you aboard Phil; a most welcome addition to our ranks! 

Our ELDERs, Bornagain, Degenerate and Abstainer, continue their GF journey and are very active and supportive on the Chatrooms and Forums too - helping ourselves and helping others resulting in a really positive karma. Top drawer, gentlemen. (Bornagain - I errantly had you on 19 days last week; apologies for my administrative blip.)

Looking at our STRIVERs, there's an interesting 'three way' (so to speak) with three of our intrepid band on 93, 93 and 92 days respectively. Next week we're looking forward to three new ELDERS - ItMatters, Sars27 and Kadiz1. Get ready to take a bow; day to day, we just know you're going to get there. Meantime our fellow Strivers, MikeyNash and RubyBaby, are quietly and determinedly eating up those days, one by one. There's an inner strength there and we 'doff our caps', we nod our respect, to you. 

And last - but never the least - our NEWBIEs. LaurainSky, you're on 24 days, and like me, can be promoted to the STRIVER ranks next week. Let's do it! Athena, what can I say, you've navigated a payday and going strong. Attagirl! - promotion is within sight! Amt722, you are more than half way to the STRIVER level; and in the zone. Chartom, you've taken a tumble but coming back twice, no - make it three times as strong; right :) Raj, a quiet determination which is noted. Half way..! Antics,  you're 2 weeks GF. You're setting a marker to build on. Moorey - haven't heard from you for a little while, mate. I hope you're OK. Meantime, you're on 10 days. Keep strong my friend. Sidney - I know you're going through the wars but remember there's a lot of help here and Gamcare can be your springboard. Don't be afraid to use it ... you can live a better life.

Conradnose - Welcome! I'm sorry you were omitted from last week's rollcall. You're here now, but just need to know your GF total so far. Meantime, you are esconced in the fine ranks of the NEWBIES (p.s. enjoying your blog, by the way. If anyway wants to take a look, just google "Conradnose blog").

GURUs

Phil72 - 572 (days)

ELDERs

Bornagain - 193, Degenerate - 159, Abstainer - 115

STRIVERs

ItMatters - 93, Sars27 - 93, Kadiz1 - 92, MikeyNash – 29, RubyBaby - 39

NEWBIEs

LaurainSky - 24, Mixer - 23, Athena1991 - 19, Xenedra - 6, Amt722 - 17, Chartom3 - 7, Raj - 15, Antics - 14, Moorey - 6, Sidney - 9, Conradnose - ?? 

As we enter September, let's not forget it's still summer (till the 21st). So plenty of warmth and sunshine for the next few weeks - usually! Let's keep strong and remember we're free of this addiction right now, and just need to remind ourselves, day by day, of this fact. Being GF is a life infinitely better than the miserable alternative. We know that to be the truth. We are unbowed and as determined as ever! Take care everyone!

Mixer and Athena, your hosts for this challenge

Posted on:
Sun, 03/09/2017 - 12:10

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

Haha! It's not very summery in Cardiff! Apparently gonna lash it down all day!

Posted on:
Sun, 03/09/2017 - 12:16

Loafin

Joined:
2017-09-03

I'm a newbie, today is my first day gf. Can I still join?

I'm struggling to get my life back and think a nice positive forum with people going through the same issue may help me...will help me I should say.

Posted on:
Sun, 03/09/2017 - 12:26

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Phil I'm afraid that you can't have Cardiff being both top of the Championship and having sunny weather - one or the other I'm afraid :) :) :)

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